It's my work's christmas party tonight. We're going for a curry and a getting-drunk.
What's everybody else doing? Anything exotic? Anyone avoiding theirs? Christmas? Yes? No?
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
we're having a pint and some sandwiches on the 18th. Should be awful.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
We've got an upstairs room booked above a pub near the office. Due to spending cuts we're all having to bring stuff for it. I've been picked to bring the plastic sheeting, duct tape and bleach.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: plastic sheeting, duct tape and bleach.
Wahey! Three Things In a Holdall! The perfect Christmas Party Game.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
LOL @ "Winner of the Pride of Reading Awards 2006" I bet that prestigious award ceremony was hosted by the likes of Kate Winslet and Ricky Gervais.
[ 11.12.2008, 06:25: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Our christmas party was cancelled. It's probably for the best.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I'm not looking forward to ours. It's tomorrow. It's a sit-down meal in a restaurant near London Bridge. Apparently party games are planned. Lots of the girls are having the afternoon off to go and get ready. I'm not going to be drinking much, which I feel may dampen any latent enthusiasm. It will be a question of working out how early I can sneak off.
Bit tricky being the boss. You have to go, to show 'team leadership', but know said team won't really enjoy themselves until you've gone.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
We're going for lunch at the Royal Automobile Club.
It's going to be SO DULL. The food will be nice, I suppose. And there will be champagne. But still.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
Come to mine if you want, I guarantee you won't leave.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Shall we switch? You'd have to wear a suit and tie to the lunch. And denim isn't allowed. Nor are notebooks on the table.
THERE BE RULES.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
Any shitting on glass topped coffee tables after Dinner? Being as how you can't smoke a fine cigar indoors anymore....
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
You can play bridge?
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
froopy usually lets us start the Christmas season today (the day after his birthday), but I've gone and extended his birthday until tonight because of some scheduling issues, so I can't discuss holiday plans yet.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: You can play bridge?
stinky bridge?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Um. No?
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
STIFF
Posted by sabian (Member # 6) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: What's everybody else doing? Anything exotic? Anyone avoiding theirs? Christmas? Yes? No?
I'm gonna fuck the receptionist in the pooper cuz she's preggers and I have enough respect for her man not to poke his kid's head with my cock.
Then, I'm going to pound a bottle of Spiced Rum and smoke an 8th with the IT guy cuz he's a square and I think it'll be funny.
Then, I'm going to knock the head of learning's teeth out cuz he's a prick and deserves it.
And, finally, I'm going to put the finance lady's head through her computer monitor and steal her money which I'll use to buy everyone a kebab!
Yay for my first office party!
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
no office party for me. Why? 'cause I'm not working. Go me!!!
Posted by sabian (Member # 6) on :
quote:Originally posted by Amy: 'cause I'm not working. Go me!!!
It's work shy people like you that put us into this situation Amy! Shame on you. Shame on you.
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
Sabian, I'm on medical leave. That's why I'm not working. I is broken. Posted by sabian (Member # 6) on :
That's what all the work dodgers say!
Posted by LowLevel (Member # 30) on :
I, still being thieving, gypsy, contractor scum - Will not be attending the works Christmas bash this year...
P.S. Is McDirt me, in a Kovacs/Terrier kinda thing?
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
absolutely. You've got me bang to rights squire.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Our do on Friday was a strange affair. The company had hired a restaurant near London Bridge, and we had a big sit-down do. But one of the directors had hilariously hired some spoof waiters to play tricks on us. Before the meal, canapes were handed round comprising a slice of carrot, a jelly baby and a hula hoop. Imagine the hilarity as people wondered whether to eat them out of politeness, or think 'fail'.
Then during the meal an 'engineer' kept disappearing under tables to do some 'repairs' and 'finding' a pair of giant pants. And a 'staggeringly drunk' 'sommelier' would come round with some wine, called Piss or something, and fill up our glasses. Most people didn't realise they were all an act, and got confused. Making the joke not really, er, funny apart from for the director who organised it all.
But the food was nice, and there was the requisite amount of unpleasant flirting, so that was a plus.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Your director sounds like a **** .
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
That's not just a meme or nothing, I mean, come-on this guy is just a fucking idiot. I imagine if your the director of a company your life has got to be about 50 times more pleasant than your average Joe. I don't want to start getting into the mathematics of how much more fun this guys life could be, but this idea that maybe some dude who's having a really hard time with it at the moment decides to show for the works do. I mean, yeah, they'll be some food and a few drinks and, you know it might not be that bad after all. So when you get there, you're pulled up on stage while your director takes a shit. Takes a shit onto a paper plate. Winds back his hand and smushes it into your face like a cream pie. Yeah, you fuck. There's your fucking christmas party. A great big shit. In your face. A ha ha ha.
[ 16.12.2008, 03:44: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I imagine if your the director of a company your life has got to be about 50 times more pleasant than your average Joe.
You're going to have to show me your working to let me know how you arrived at this figure, because I've just done this calculation myself and arrived at the opposite conclusion.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I imagine if you're the director of a company your life has got to be about 50 times more pleasant than your average Joe.
I'm the director of a company and my life is fucking miserable. Mind you, I don't actually have any employees apart from myself, and I have to keep buying him pints to keep him happy, freeloading bastard.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Yeah, to be fair, if I found myself hiring someone to crawl under a table and produce a pair of prop pants in the name of hilarity I'd shoot myself in the face. Except the gun would just fire a stick and flag with 'bang' on it.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Because I'm kerazay! Hahhahahaa.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
seriously though, you should shoot yourself in the face.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
That's a horrible thing to say, even in jest.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
No, come on he's probably right.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
yes. Seriously. You should.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
man, I'd feel pretty bad if he actually did. Also very powerful.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
If you're going to do it, you should probably do it on webcam while being egged on by anonymous people from around the world. That will make you famous. But you'll need a good line to sign off on, and after shooting yourself in the face, it's quite hard to say "See, I told you I was hardcore", so definitely worth doing, but not without making sure you've planned it all out.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Shooting yourself in the face is a pretty cool guy.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
eh goes boom and double posts everything.
[ 16.12.2008, 08:23: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
sorry, this has put a downer on things hasn't it. We had so much fun yesterday as well.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
with the norovirus approaching, why don't we swap stories of convulsive vomiting?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
It appears that not everyone wants to sit around quoting internet memes all day Kanye. It baffles me as to why this would be as well.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
I've resorted to writing sarcastic 'reviews' on imdb.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I'm despairing of the fact that I did a great one line post on TMT yesterday that referenced hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and nobody noticed. I think it was just too clever. Sometimes I wonder if I am too clever for this world.
So, I've been posting on reddit a bit really and checking out team news for the big match tonight (Bournemouth vs Blyth Spartans)
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
glad to see all the de-leveraging panic isn't getting in the way of your internet time.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I had to google de-levering, and I'm still not sure why it should stop me using the internet.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I then tried cuiling de-leveraging and that provided nothing of any use whatsoever.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Ask helped out on the first result, whilst google was about the fifth.
I might start using ask from now on.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Hey! Altavista still exists! That was the first ever search engine I used, and the results on it were way better than the ones from google.
Good old altavista. And it sounds exotic. I could search there and pretend I'm in Acapulco or something.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I tried aol search and my computer actually vomited on the desk.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Anyway. If you happen to live or work near a Krispy Kreme donut shop, (an actual shop, not one in a tesco), you can buy 5 christmas cards from there for £5.95.
That's a horrific deal, is going to be your first thought. However, each card has a voucher in that entitles you to a dozen original glazed donuts. That's 60 donuts for £5.95. You could be the most popular guy in the office if you turned up with any number of donuts between 12 and 60 and it would hardly cost you anything!
This information is useless to me as we don't have a Krispy Kreme anywhere near here.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
That's quite a good bargain. I reckon Harley could smush a few pants for less than tenner.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Post some sarcastic reviews then you fucker.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
oh, no. They're not good.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Are they actually worse than us hitting refresh and getting nothing new?
The time spent reading your reviews would be better spent looking at a screen you'd already seen 20 times? Is that what you're saying?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
That is a good bargain. However, last week this email was sent to the whole instute I work in...
Dear All
I have approximately 2000 bars of dark chocolate that I don’t need. They were prepared for a clinical trial but didn’t have the level of flavonoids we specified.
Some members of Translational Medicine and Therapeutics have been trying to eat through this chocolate mountain, but even with their best efforts progress has been slow. So if you want some dark chocolate to eat, or for cooking purposes, there is plenty to spare. You will find it outside my office on they second floor. Please help yourselves!!
I went up there with a colleague and there was a 2m square stack of cardboard boxes of chocolate, and a constant stream of people rapidly diminishing it… The bars are in silver shrink wrapped bags with ‘Test B’ on the label. Like space food!
So we probably dont need any doughnuts.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Abby, has it occurred to you that this is actually all part of the test procedure, and your reaction to Chocolate 4BMutagenLevel8 is being monitored even now? I can't believe that, as a scientist you would be so naive.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Today's Christmas Reseller Bribe Haul of Shame:
Box of Guylian chocolates (meh)
Box of Italian chocolates (mmm)
Large box of wafer biscuits (huh?)
A basket of almond biscotti (dull)
A mousemat with a christmas themed 2009 calendar on it (god)
Bottle of Italian vanilla syrup (grr)
Packet of Goats' cheese (ffs)
Box of weird Korean jelly sweets dusted in cocoa powder (yum)
I mean who would send goate-cheez as a corporate gift?
What gifts has your place of employ been given this year?
[ 16.12.2008, 11:18: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
My employers would never stoop to such underhand methods!
gghhnnnnhhhhhh.... Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
What is in the basket??!
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I'd like to read Dr Benway's sarcastic film reviews. How bad can they be. It's Dr Benway!
Maybe 'It's Dr Benway!' could be the strapline to a kids TV show. Each week an 8 year old contestant comes on, and Benway explains to them using Beckett-like scenarios and imagery, why life is a sham, dreams are destined to be shattered and all you can do is try and ease the pain of being alive, which you won't be able to do anyway. Then he hands them the shotgun-dog-collar from the Saw series and tells them to 'do the decent thing'. If the kid doesn't pull the cord he wins a PS3. I'm just blurting stuff out here. "Could be a TV series!" is almost as lame as 'And then I got off the bus!' as a joke, isn't it?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: I mean who would send goate-cheez as a corporate gift?
Why wouldn't you? I've had cheese as a corporate gift a few times. And been grateful for it.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
so, so bored. I've resorted to playing I-Spy via email with a colleague.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Cheese is like the second best thing in the world after bacon. I would love to be given some cheese. I won a hamper that included a camembert. Good times.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I just saw a headline on IMDB that said "Quaid awarded $750,000 over hospital negligence" and thought 'Huh - he's finally got a settlement for that embollism he suffered during his Mars vacation'. But it turned out to be a story about Dennis Quaid, star of Innerspace.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
It's goat cheese, not real cheese.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
goat cheese is excellent.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Yes. Yes it is.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Well this goat cheese is fucking rank. They might as well have sent a nicely packaged collection of their personal knob cheese.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
I had cheese last night - halloumi. Has anybody tried this stuff? It's fantastic!
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
I also had
- chips - meatballs (small) - some kind of paste (garlicky)
- 5 x pint of guiness - 2 x glass of wine.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I use to like it when Thorn was on the brink of despair. The fine line between depressed and being a crack-whore. All this good stuff..this fucking progress has got him really enthusiastic for dairy products and empathising with CEOs of big businesses. Try harder Benway! You've barely dented his cheery optimism! Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
No, scrub that! I've just been given a glass of bubbly. Here I am, like a dick, trying to upgrade someones firmware on their router, with a headset on, drinking champagne. Oh my giddy arse.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
it was all an act. I think that's what we've learned. It was all a big act, the joke's on us. He never suffered. He never lived it.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Sorry m8. I'm on Team Chipper now. You're going to have to drink all that cooking sherry and listen to Jeff Buckley in the dark on your own.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Merry Christmas, customers! Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kanye West: I had cheese last night - halloumi. Has anybody tried this stuff? It's fantastic!
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: and empathising with CEOs of big businesses.
I wasn't empathising. When I said that they were likely to have a ten times shitter life than your average Joe, it was with the intention of spreading a bit of Christmas cheer.
Anyway, most of my life isn't characterised by progress. Professionally, I'm the opposite of successful, for example.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Merry Christmas, customers!
nothing wrong with kraft singles! Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
Americans literally have no idea what cheese should taste like.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
That doesn't sound like a very healthy dinner Dr Benway. You should be more careful.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
one of the top cheeses in America, Velveeta, is less than 50% cheese.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: That doesn't sound like a very healthy dinner Dr Benway. You should be more careful.
The whole thing was a terrible mistake.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Dr Benway has been rude about my halloumi on flickr. Can he get a warning here please?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kanye West: Americans literally have no idea what cheese should taste like.
The same holds true for chocolate. So what's your point?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: No, scrub that! I've just been given a glass of bubbly. Here I am, like a dick, trying to upgrade someones firmware on their router, with a headset on, drinking champagne. Oh my giddy arse.
I was sitting reading my emails earlier while drinking a glass of mulled wine, freshly warmed in the office microwave...
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote:Originally posted by Kanye West: Americans literally have no idea what cheese should taste like.
The same holds true for chocolate. So what's your point?
How could chocolate know what cheese tastes like? Think before you post, Ralph.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
And beer.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
I've been eating Halloumi, on and off, for the last 6 or 7 years now. You could say I've pretty much bought the T-Shirt when it comes to squeaky, salty cheese that Turks and Greeks like. Any questions on it, feel free to ask.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
If I was going to make a bob-sleigh out of halloumi squares melted together, how much in weight would I need to start this project? I've got 4 jamaicans who have promised me they won't eat it and I want to get cracking.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
last night I had houmous with a whole meal pitta and some porridge.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
babyfood, basically.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Did it make you do an explosive pooh?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
5 ft.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Reasonable.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
We had our posh lunch. It was alright. Then yesterday I was sacked.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Sorry to hear that Lilo. Had you done something wrong? Or were you laid off, rather than actually sacked?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
That's not good news at all. You must have been really poorly behaved at lunch.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: We had our posh lunch. It was alright. Then yesterday I was sacked.
Really sorry to hear that. I was sacked just over a year ago. The first couple of months were horrid, but things picked up very fast in January. Couple of short term contracts and then I had job interviews cropping up very frequently, and wound up having several offers to consider at the same time. Don't give in.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
Why though?? What did you do / not do?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
"poor performance" she says. My colleague Ben was sacked too. That' two thirds of her workforce in one day, gone. We had no idea it was coming either. I mean, we both had official meetings after Frankfurt (mine took place next to a fruit machine in a pub) but no mention was made of when exactly our follow up meeting was going to happen. She text me at eight in the morning yesterday and told me to go in at half ten for our meeting, I got there are ten past and was back out on the street again by thirty five minutes past.
I did not take it graciously.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
plenty of time for that game of pool
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: I did not take it graciously.
What did you do? Trash the place? Tell people what you really think of them? Do a great big poo on your boss' desk?
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
shouldn't you have an official warning or summat if your work isn't up to scratch? I thought you couldn't just 'sack' someone out the blue like.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
on the upside, at least you won't be forced to take candlelit shits in full earshot of your colleagues, nor to hear aforementioned colleagues doing the same any more.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: shouldn't you have an official warning or summat if your work isn't up to scratch? I thought you couldn't just 'sack' someone out the blue like.
Well. This all started just before the Frankfurt book fair. I go into work the day before I'm due to fly out and meet her there to find this MASSIVE email of her whinging about the state of the floor (she brings her dog in every day, the fur gets EVERYWHERE) and about information she thought was missing but actually wasn't she just hadn't pulled it through from where I told it was. Anyway, this email was really ***** and did not say it was a warning any where on it. But in my final 'you're sacked' letter she's saying that it was an official warning.
When we got back from FF we had that pathetic official meeting in a pub and she gave me a very short list of things I was to improve upon. I had been doing these things for over a year without her ever once saying I was doing them wrong, or could be doing them better.
Then five weeks later she says it isn't working out.
And, the worst part is, I never stopped trying. I was always trying.
So yeah. I handled it badly. I said I was bored of fighting passive aggressive battles with a boss who had serious issues when it comes to dealing with staff, that it has been horrifically hard to drag myself into work each morning to sit opposite someone I don't actually like anymore and that I couldn't be bothered to go through the list of things I supposedly didn't do because she's unable to give me proper examples and I'm tired of trying to read her mind.
Then I stomped out. Sobbing.
NOT GRACIOUS.
I'm going to use the festive fortnight to drink a lot then sign up with a temping agency until I can sort out something permanent. That's the plan.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
That sounds like a good plan. I was sacked back in February, for being crap at something (sales) which I was, most definitely, crap at. It forced me to go back to being self-employed in something I'm experienced in and slightly above average at (translating), and have been my own boss again since then. I don't earn much money, but then I don't do much work, really. I'm much happier.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
if you were inclined to investigate the sitation you might possibly have a case for unfair dismissal, based on your post above. Is the business feeling the pinch, might she be trying to reduce her staffing and costs without having to pay redundancy?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
yeah. you could still do all the drinking, but initiate some sort of proceedings at the same time, and see what happens. you might get some money out of it.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: That's the plan.
Yeah, just lie low for a while.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Yeah, Lilo, you should totally fuck her system.
By the way, here is a handy guide to read while you chill out and eat boiled eggs at home: YEAH
I'm not well at all now.
[ 17.12.2008, 09:03: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
plus, there's a glut of 3 for 1 type deals on booze at various supermarkets at the moment. Happy Days.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
poor nwod. dodgems can be a hazard to the health.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: plus, there's a glut of 3 for 1 type deals on booze at various supermarkets at the moment. Happy Days.
3 for 1? Really? Do you not mean 3 for 2? If it is 3 for 1 then I'm going to spend the rest of my life obliterated.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
erm, I'm probly exaggerated there to try and make Lilo feel better about being unfairly dismissed. It's probably 3 for 2.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I'm hearing a hell of a lot of stories of people being laid off at the moment, and most of them are followed by other people saying, "God, they could have waited till January!" Which kind of suggests to me that a lot of employers probably are waiting till January.
Is it kinder to let someone have a blissfully ignorant Christmas and New Year and then sack them, or to sack them first so they don't blow loads of money on pointless presents but do have a massive blow out on 3 for 1 booze?
I think I've always been sacked around the end of August in the past, and had a job again by the end of September. I don't think I'd like to be sacked just before Xmas and have to sit around for two weeks before anyone started thinking about reading CVs again and that.
Good luck with it all anyway Lilo, and good luck to everyone else in January.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I think I'm safe for the time being. They keep talking about bonuses and stuff, which I guess would be conveniently forgotten about if things were dire. In fact I think the firm is doing pretty well as the software we sell is often used by companies who might otherwise have to hire a team of developers. Sorry developers...
ETA: Wow, that makes me sound like a right smug cunt. Sorry for that. And sorry about your job, Lilo. Hope you find something with a private, sound-insulated, lockable, dog-free toilet.
That's better - much less cunty.
[ 17.12.2008, 09:43: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I'm still working on contract at my place - last renewed in April for 18 months so theoretically up till end next October, however they could end it early with one month's notice.
They've made a number of contractors take three weeks of unpaid furlough starting this week.
Those people who’ve come up for contract renewal have either not been renewed or have had to take rate drops of around 10%.
They’ve been trying to make long-term contractors go permanent but are only offering a permanent rate which is about 50% of the contract rates – I can speak from experience here, and I turned them down.
There’s talk of another contractor cull at the end of February, about which I’ve been getting increasingly nervous, however recent meetings have assigned me work well past this point so I would hope I’m safe through till at least April (although you can never tell).
Despite all of this the projects team had a meeting recently which concluded they were 200 man days per month short on resource if they were to achieve all the initiatives and projects which management have on the books for next year – so those people who are left will have to work twice as hard.
It’s fun times, that’s for sure.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: They keep talking about bonuses and stuff, which I guess would be conveniently forgotten about if things were dire.
Unless you were a banker..
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I heard that Threshers was doing that 40% off all booze deal again this year? Very irresponsible of them in the current climate of economic despair. It wont be just Lilo who drowns her sorrows 40% too effectively and ends up passed out covered in vomit in the middle of Westfield shopping centre.
Sorry about your job Lilo. Though your boss sounds rubbish.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: I'm hearing a hell of a lot of stories of people being laid off at the moment, and most of them are followed by other people saying, "God, they could have waited till January!" Which kind of suggests to me that a lot of employers probably are waiting till January.
I dunno. If things are so dire you need to lay people off, then you need to do it immediately. I don't know. It all feels a bit bleak at the moment. I know of a few people who are losing their jobs at the moment. It's quite frightening.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
The bit I really hate about people losing their jobs is that there will be massive competition for any new ones that come up. I've usually been used to being in demand, because there always seem to be far more jobs than experienced people in the stuff I do, but that situation can really quickly reverse itself in times like this.
Which probably applies to a lot of jobs, I'm sure. So you really have to put in a huge effort to get yourself into one of those rare vacancies, and "huge effort" is not a phrase I like to hear.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Yeah, I personally don't interview well when there's too much pressure. Fortunately there's no word around the office about anyone being let go anytime soon. *knocks wood*
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Do we think Lilo has lapsed into an alcohol-induced coma?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
I had to go and buy an Xbox. Which is my Christmas present from my mum. But she didn't know which bundle I wanted. blah blah blah. I'VE GOT AN XBOX! Well. I'll have it for reals on Christmas day. Now I'm going to the pub. With the aim to slip into an alcohol induced coma by ten.
Thank you all for being nice!
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Good luck on the coma!
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: I had to go and buy an Xbox. Which is my Christmas present from my mum. But she didn't know which bundle I wanted. blah blah blah. I'VE GOT AN XBOX! Well. I'll have it for reals on Christmas day. Now I'm going to the pub. With the aim to slip into an alcohol induced coma by ten.
Thank you all for being nice!
Watch out. Won't be long before Tilde is hassling you for online gaming fun.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
So not only did you get fired, you also went out and bought the wrong console? Hard times Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Which is the right console, ringo? In case I get fired and decide to purchase one...
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
the right one - the one that isn't causing its manufacturers to implode due to mismanagement and weak sales - is the xbox 360.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Lilo's probably out of her face, sitting against the wall in a grimy pool hall, with benway flicking the bubbles out of a heroin needle and putting it into her lifeless arm.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Must learn to click 'add reply' 58 minutes sooner than I do.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Sorry to hear about the sacking Lilo, although I'd second what Hippy said, from what you've described you could take them apart in court with even a semi-competent lawyer.
We're currently in a redundancy drive, 10% of the UK workforce to be culled, I'm hoping our team won't be affected since we're only a 3 man team, each with highly specialised roles, but if being made redundant from my last job taught me one thing it's that it's worth preparing for the worst.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: the right one - the one that isn't causing its manufacturers to implode due to mismanagement and weak sales - is the xbox 360.
But...I got an XBox 360. A 60gb one. With that Lips game that has cordless mics. And Kung Fu Panda which I don't care about at all. Oh, and lego Indiana Jones.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Today's Office Xmas Haul:
Two large containers of the best coffee I have ever tasted.
Three huge platters of alcoholic mince pies, strawberries, orange slices and other fruity delights.
No cigars though. :glum:
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Xmas
I've often wondered...what's the X stand for?
eta: nevermind
quote: In 1436 Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press with moveable type. In the early days of printing typesetting was done by hand and was very tedious and expensive. As a result, abbreviations were common. In religious publications, the church began to use the abbreviation C for the word "Christ" to cut down on the cost of the books and pamphlets. From there, the abbreviation moved into general use in newspapers and other publications, and "Xmas" became an accepted way of printing "Christmas" (along with the abbreviations Xian and Xianity). Even Webster’s dictionary acknowledges that the abbreviation Xmas was in common use by the middle of the sixteenth century.
[ 18.12.2008, 08:43: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
You just need to imagine the X rotated 45 degrees with a half naked hippy nailed to it.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I don't believe any of that nonsense.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
It's where MS got the name for the Xbox
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
good one dude
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I've often wondered...what's the X stand for?
eta: nevermind
My dad used to write my mum's name as Xine, and Xopher seems quite common on that internet.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
So why is Aguilera known as xtina? Is her name conventionally spelt Christtina, Or Christ, Tina... ?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: My dad used to write my mum's name as Xine, and Xopher seems quite common on that internet.
It's a bit bizarre that as your mum's name is Barbara.
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