On a music forum I visit from time to time they have organised, for the last couple of years, a Secret Santa thing. Being a music forum it is quite straightforward and they just tend to send CD-R compilations to each other, but this is TMO so that restriction would be out the 23rd floor window faster than a US Army experimental goat.
Q1. Would anyone join in?
A1. Yeah, I would, but I'd need one or two others with me ideally.
Q2. How the fuck would this work then?
A2. Well it's a Secret Santa thing isn't it, but through the post. You send a Xmas pressy to an allocated recipient who doesn't know who it's come from. Question is, should we rig it so the sender doesn't know who they're sending to either? Like, if people email me their addresses but use an alias - not RL name and not TMO name - so the whole thing is anonymous. Would that work? This is already sounding like a bad idea isn't it. I don't care...
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*click* Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I wouldn't trust Dang to be honest. Both 'erbs and Bandrew have been burgled in the last couple of weeks already...
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I wouldn't trust Dang to be honest. Both 'erbs and Bandrew have been burgled in the last couple of weeks already...
I wasn't going to invite you onto the list anyway. No one wants to receive some rusty old Vauxhall Puma for Xmas.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
How about a Lucky Dip Secret CD-R?
Each forumite puts a selection of their files (music, video clips, scat-pron, personal letters, etc) onto a CD-R and sends it to Dang. He then sends it on to another contributor. Much fun can be had by trying to guess whose CD you've received.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I'm in. I'm not even sure what it is, but I'm in.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I'm in.
That should start a flood of applications. A surprise Christmas gift from the Black Mask! You've got to be in it to win it. Just sign here. Thank you. And the liability waiver, just... there. Splendid.
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
I'll do it if it's not too technical. [Says she with no MP3 or anything].
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
I want a surprise!
Potential recipients should bear in mind that I am lacking in taste in nearly every instance. Unless you are a fellow kitsch fiend. Items currently adorning my mantlepiece (stone-clad electric bar fireplace, folks!) include (list not exhaustive): enormo gilt mirror; two (2) feather boas, one sea green, one shocking pink; pink glittery reindeer with two badges hanging from the horns (one from Jerry Springer: The Opera stating 'I've been seein' someone else', one asking 'how does it feel to be loved?'); broken china doll head of angelic child (evil); numerous faux-retro postcodes; press pass for Kill Bill II; bag of sweetie necklaces (past their best); beads; plastic earrings (large); wine glass with merlot dregs.
I hope I haven't discouraged anyone!
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
ah gwan then. I'll play.
Posted by The Preacher (Member # 726) on :
What's a "scat - pron " when it's at home then ?
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
I would like to join in also but I don't think that I want owt off that Philomel! Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
in. but we needs roolz. like mp3 on a cd? or just audio cds?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Looks like we've got six 'I'm in' shouts then, plus Misc perhaps though it's not clear from his post if he's just making a suggestion for the rest of us to mull over? Possible seven then.
This could be a splendid one-off chance to dump all sorts of rubbish onto someone else. Just pinch a ginormous jiffy bag from work and walk round the house dropping anything you don't want and can't sell into it till it's full. Then send it to your excited XmasTMOchild.
If you want, you could use a shoe box and they could pretend to be a Romanian orphan to add to the Christmas cheer.
Maybe people could suggest the sort of things they would love to have 'drop through their letterbox' on Christmas morning, or a few days after depending on when the postie can be bothered with it.
e.g.
A signed ASCII-art from Raz. A page of original research notes from Kovacs. An American washing-machine from Thorn. A picture of Orlando Broom.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: This could be a splendid one-off chance to dump all sorts of rubbish onto someone else.
Fucking hell yes count me'n'TheGree in. We're about to put our flat on the market and are trying to lighten the load as much as possible for when we move to Glasgow or wherever it is we're supposed to be going (we pulled an atlas out last night, and did the old open-a-page-at-random-and-point thing: the first attempt was Africa], the second was by a big lake about 300 miles north of Moscow).
That means we're trying to offload lava lamps and space projectors and books and juggling equpiment and large tables and ashtrays on tripods and the like.
So, er, count us in. Though none of you fuckers is getting my space projector.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
can i have your ash tray on a tripod?
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
yay i will do it.
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
I am reasonably sure froopy and I are in (together or individually). I'm sure it is manageable as long as we don't try to send anything too heavy (like our lovely American appliances).
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: can i have your ash tray on a tripod?
It was given to me by a ginger northerner girl in Exeter in 1990, stolen from a hotel.
So... yes.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
ok. well. all people wanting address of damo mail to d_marlee@yahoo.co.uk
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Woahhh! I believe dang is playing Satan's Little Helper, no? Shouldn't we send receiver addresses to dang then he can field them out to givers? And everyone sends dang a gift for being staunch.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
d o p e . b arr y nails it again.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
shouldnt we wait till christmas liek? Itd be better then. halloween or woteva can jack off.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
so what is dang's email address then?
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
probably not even home safe.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
quote:juggling equpiment
wadsdasd! You juggle mart? I got well into a bit, clubs, hoops, throwing with friends. then i er stopped. keep meaning to take it up again.I might throw into the mix my old boxed snes...anyway,it will probably be gaming related with a dvd full of YARRRRR goodies.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I have some battered old clubs and hoops, yeah. I used to be able to throw with a partner, about fifteen years ago when I first got into it, but never with any real proficiency. I would love to try unicycling again as well, that's great fun. I only ever managed about twenty yards down the street, but I always felt as if I was justabout to get it.
Also: trapeze.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
circusmeat Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sidney: so what is dang's email address then?
Yes, right, if this is taking off a bit then my email addy is dang65@yahoo.com
I'm still not sure if people want to keep the whole process anonymous, so you don't know who you're sending to and you don't know who you're receiving from, or just keep it traditional so you know who you're sending to?
As for it only being September and Christmas being around December time most years... well these things take some organising don't they, especially when you've got someone as incompetent as me in charge.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Can I play too? Though I'm not sure I understand fully.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Can I play too? Though I'm not sure I understand fully.
Right, it goes like this:
1. You send your address to me, either completely anonymously, or with any name you wish to be known by. I will keep this information completely confidential apart from...
2. ...I will send your address to one other random participant. This person becomes your Secret Santa and...
3. ...they rustle up a mystery Xmas gift and send it to you. The nature of this gift has yet to be decided, but I guess the most obvious suggestions would be stuff like: A home made music compilation, either mp3 or audio cd; A book you've been trying to get everyone to read; A dvd you're desperate for someone else to watch, please; Something rubbish someone sent you last year and you've been trying to get rid of ever since; A pair of socks.
4. You eat a mince pie and sing Silent Night whilst gently rocking backward and forward with your head banging against the wall.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I would like to play!
But people would get tapes through the post from me, not secret underground tracks magickly "downloaded" from the computer to CD, as I do not have such facilities. Or they would get non-music themed gifts. Is this allowed?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Veep, I think you should send vouchers.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Elizabeth Duke ones for you, Masky my sweet.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
YESSS!!! Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Excellent. I've got two addresses through already, so there's already enough for this scheme to work. Just send your address to dang65@yahoo.com - there's several months to do it in so no rush. And I promise not to send out my own address to everyone, as some scheming pirate has suggested I might do. I am wondering how many addresses I'm going to get from random lurkers that happen to have stumbled on this thread. Still, they might be the coolest lurkers ever. Sarah-Jane from CBeebies might lurk on here and send a pair of... no. No, she might not, you're right.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
and I don't want owt off that VP either!
Dang - I shall send you my address tonight, as I can't access hotmail, gmail or anything that's not naziworkmail from work. However, I could email you from work but only if you promise not to get up to any tricks with my work email address.....
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
The unfortunate recipient of my gift(s) will not be getting anything that requires even the most basic application of technology. Soz, like.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
I'm kicking myself that I already gave my Jim Davidson comedy CD box set away to someone. Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sidney: I could email you from work but only if you promise not to get up to any tricks with my work email address...
Hey, you can always trust me! Best not take the risk on a Friday afternoon though. Do it from the safety of home, I say.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Don't worry, Hoibs. I won't be sending anything techanaloggicocal either. In fact, I already know the shop I am going to visit. It sells things like clocks with a clock face that is a picture of two nuns drinking pints. You know, classy stuff like that.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
You can find our address on this very website, we may send back something quite unexpected..
I think that means yes, we'll play too !
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sidney: In fact, I already know the shop I am going to visit. It sells things like clocks with a clock face that is a picture of two nuns drinking pints. You know, classy stuff like that.
haha! I want Sidney to be my secret satan! I am also techno-inept and besides, would not want to subject anyone to my muzak collection. So, naff/cute/kitsch bits ahoy! Sailor.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
We now have six elves in the santabase, + me let's not forget. I'll send out a remaindeer around November time shall I? Can someone set an alarm or something? No, probably not.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Ho Ho Ho. Yo, Santa's ho's, what it is?
Pardon?
Right. Look at the time already. Any last minute persons wishing to join this scheme, please send address and a name by which you wish to be known for the purposes of this scheme to dang65@yahoo.com You have till this time tomorrow. I will then put all names in a hat or a vat and do this:
1. Pull a name out (Name 1). 2. Pull another name out (Name 2). 3. Send Name 1's name/address to Name 2. 4. Pull another name out (Name 3). 5. Send Name 2's name/address to Name 3. 6. Continue in this fashion until all names have been selected. 7. Finally, send the last name/address to Name 1.
Then it's up to you to act as Secret Santa to whoever you receive and send them a gift of your choosing, some time within the next month preferably.
It's easy. Deadline tomorrow lunchtime.
Posted by 2@ (Member # 715) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65:
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I'm in.
A surprise Christmas gift from the Black Mask!
Dude, you know it would be akin to that FedEx'd box at the end of that movie Se7en. Just say no.
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
Ha! I have already lined up "things" to send to some poor sod, um sorry, fellow forumite.
I love Christmas. I have been making Christmas cards with my daughter in the evenings. The house is so covered in glitter than even when you turn the lights off you need to wear sunglasses to protect you from the glare. I have also been planning menus, wrapping gifts and generally feeling like this ----> Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
This is gonna be great.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
If I end up with a bag of excrement, I shall be right annoyed.
[apologies dang for off topic chate]Barry - can you CYI, please? [/apologies dang for off topic chate]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Oooo gawn then. The chance of possibly getting something from my beloved Barry is too good to resist. Don't expect anything serious from me though - I'm very likely to send the sequinned boob tube that London once gave me. I'm rather hoping it goes to damo.
I will email you dang but what's the skinny on this name business then?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
But now whoever receives it will know I sent it. Fuck I am such a ret.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: I will email you dang but what's the skinny on this name business then?
Yeah, the name thing. I just thought that some people might want to remain anonymous IRL, so they'd send their real address (duh) but a name like "Dave Wilson" or something and when the parcel arrives and the other occupants of the house go, "Who the fuck's Dave Wilson?" they go, "Oh yeah, that's a mate at work that asked if he could have something sent here. Chuck it here." Then they'd run off up to their room and rip it open with uncontained excitement. And then someone would walk in to ask if the cat was in there and they'd go, "Why have you opened Dave Wilson's parcel? You shouldn't have done that! Hey, everyone, NotDaveWilson has opened Dave Wilson's parcel. And it's got a boob tube in it. Oh no, he's one of them." *slam* That sort of thing. Probably best to just use your real name actually.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
let me just recap here: its shit i don't want or need anymore? and i'm sending it on to someone else? right. thats d o p e. i have some idea.
(plus i'll throw in a cd as well)
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: let me just recap here: its shit i don't want or need anymore?
I don't think it has to be shit. In fact, most people might prefer to receive something nice. But it's up to you. The CD idea seems good, but there's also a book or a DVD or a homemade card or a picture or a toy. I dunno.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Have we confirmed that we can send silly stuff, and not just mix CDs that show how bangin cool you are?
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
please whoever gets me: do not mark your package (or your present to me (copyright puerile jokesrus)) "d o p e" or have wires protruding from it, or a ticking clock. or anythink. like that.
please.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
These things can turn sour. They did this once at work, and a bloke got a mug for another bloke with the words "I'm a naughty girl" written on it. He went crazy, broke the mug, and stormed off. The tragedy is that it really was funny at the time. Poor lad.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Is Stefanos playing? If he is, Ian Knot, lurker, please arrange to be crushed beneath a huge pinboard then post yourself to Stefanos like Flat Stanley. You could burst out and bellow "Ha ha, I nominate Pecorino Romano! Happy Christmas brother!"
EDIT: Do it for me.
[ 24.11.2004, 09:16: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I wonder how bees would fare in the post..?
Posted by I am not... (Member # 25) on :
ahh.. the memories... I really was quite good at the goading wasn't I?
People I have goaded into good posting: 1. Stefanos 2. Teflon (converted him from sniggering one-liner teflon into poetic tef-land, albeit shortlived) 3. err
People I have encouraged/groomed into posting 1. Lyra 2. Yanda (work in progress)
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Right, I've actually got round to doing a bit of admin on this and I can reveal that we now have eleven (11) Christmas elvens. Reading back through this thread I also notice "I'm in!" type posts from:
Misc H1ppychick Mart 'n' Gree Rooster 'n' Froopy VP
But I don't seem to have received names/addresses from any of yers. If you've sent them then I ain't got 'em, or they've been spam filtered by my email client or something.
Also, if you are half of a couple of moonists (Bandy/Scrawny, Darryn/Damon's Off etc) then can you tell me if you both want to go on the list, or just the one that sent the address?
God, I feel like I should be holding a clipboard and counting you all onto a coach or something.
Have we forgotten the real meaning of Crimpstblast?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
CYI mista dan!
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
I have consulted with rooster and confirmed that we're "in", though I'm not sure whether we're handling it jointly or severally. Probably jointly, but if other forumduos are entering individually, I'm game to do so as well.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
i think i sent you an email ages ago, I HAD BETTER BE ON THE LIST. People need to have a tech rating cus, like, i could fill a couple of dvds with rubbish. but if you only have a tomy cassette player thats not gonna rub it is it.
Posted by fish (Member # 22) on :
The last time I sent someone off TMO a Christmas present - not only did I get no pressent in return, no "thankyou", nor even an acknowledgement of it from them - but they haven't posted since and I never heard from them again!
I think I'd best sit this one out.
Given the high levels of apathy that characterise a lot of posters on this board, I can't wait until January when the recriminations begin:
"I spent ten poonds on sum mutherfuker and got nowt back!"
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by fish: they haven't posted since and I never heard from them again!
Christ Fish! What did you send them? Was your gift covered in a white powder?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
What are the guidelines for this? £10 or equivalent? Or just "something kewl"?
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
we would love to play however, we will not have an address after mid december scary.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Though it would be fairly exciting to send a gift to:
Mart & Gree General Delivery* Nuku'alofa TONGA
(*Not sure if this works outside the U.S.?)
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by jnhoj: i think i sent you an email ages ago, I HAD BETTER BE ON THE LIST.
You are indeed. I didn't really want to list everyone that's on the list because there's supposed to be a modicom (sp? actual word?) of mystery here, although I suspect most of the names will be reasonably easy to figure out, either because people have met in RL and know RL names anyway or because of location (as one participant, famous for hailing from a particular venue, has pointed out). Still, one or two may remain mysteries.
The thing about sending something and not receiving something back is a risk we all take. But the circular arrangement of this scheme means that you wouldn't receive anything from the person you send to anyway, so there'll be no equality of value reciprocation scheme sort of scenario.
I hadn't thought about setting an amount, like people do in offices so I'm led to believe. It's just a matter of putting something kewl in a package, as you said. If that means spending a tenner on a DVD you want your TMO Christmas Child to see, or spending 30p on a blank CD-R and making a compilation, or spending nothing on a book you already have and want to pass on - doesn't matter does it?
Just remember the 5 "Ion"s rule: Improvisation, Imagination, Ion, Lion, Zion. I don't know why you'd want to remember that rule, but it might come in useful one day.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
So, hold on, how does this work? Am I on the list? I can't remember.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: So, hold on, how does this work? Am I on the list? I can't remember.
No, you're not, but you're welcome to send your address and a name of your choice to dang65@yahoo.com before lunchtime today and you will be added. Same goes for anyone else. Had three more names sent since yesterday so we're up to 14 now. As noted above, could make for an interesting thread once those parcels start dropping through letterboxes.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
dang... Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
tee hee! i think ive got a good 'un!
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Right. The deed is done and 19 emails have been sent out. I hope I haven't made any cock ups.
1. The draw was completely random and completely uninfluenced or tampered with by me, Scout's Honour, cross my heart and hope to die.
...nope, not died so...
2. If anyone has been issued with a Christmas Childe that they would actually rather spent Christmas in an orphanage eating coal than got any sort of present - just send your reject note back to me by the end of today and I will do something.
3. Only one person was given my name and address. That person may not believe me - so if anyone else wants to post saying, "I didn't get Dang" then they might start to think it's true.
4. Any questions?
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
If you send drugs to another country who will get in trouble? The sender or the recipient? Assuming the sender doesn't include a return address, of course.
[ 25.11.2004, 08:48: Message edited by: Bandy ]
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
poor old bandy. smaile black childer get sprouts for xmas. Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Right on, Dan-san!
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bandy: If you send drugs to another country who will get in trouble? The sender or the recipient? Assuming the sender doesn't include a return address, of course.
I sent drugs to myself from Amsterdam once and a month later I got a letter from Customs, informing me that they'd intercepted my parcel and describing its contents. I can't remember the exact wording but the letter effectively said "we've got your gear, and you can't do anything about it, na na na na-na". You don't get in trouble, really, although I expect your name is added to a long list somewhere.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I get a lot of anonymous weird stuff through the mail. How will I know when I get my TMO Xmas Care Package?
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
The ticking?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I get a lot of anonymous weird stuff through the mail. How will I know when I get my TMO Xmas Care Package?
The postman will be wearing an asbestos suit.
Posted by miffysocks (Member # 675) on :
No!!!! i was too late, i've been away for a few days and miss out on this! I've sent you my addy, please let me play Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by miffysocks: I've sent you my addy, please let me play
Ees done, CYI.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bandy: If you send drugs to another country who will get in trouble? The sender or the recipient? Assuming the sender doesn't include a return address, of course.
please don't.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
dang's obviously played a blinder, here. Timing? Impeccable. One full calendar month to get our fingers out. When should we be posting though? What's the consensus? When's the last post for Xmas, anyone know? Who wants a gift box in November? How late can we leave it?
Posted by dervish (Member # 727) on :
Maybe I have missed something as it is hard to read all posts with enough attention, but what is everyone doing about reimbursing damo for the cost of posting things on?
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
who says i'm sending anything expensive?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
It's not damo, it's dang65. His role is to pull names out of his hat and then tell each person who they are preparing a gift for and the address (and name) to which to send it. Directly. He's not collecting and redistributing gifts himself.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: When should we be posting though?
I say just post when you're ready. It's frighteningly close to Xmas anyway. One of my boys wants a PS2 this year and we wandered in to the local DixonsCurrysComet on Saturday to pick one up off the massive stack they always have in there, only to be laughed out of the shop for even suggesting that they might have such a rare, precious thing. Sold out in every shop we tried. Bugger. Now onto emergency Web purchasing option. So, yeah, it appears to be Christmas.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Black Mask: [qb]only to be laughed out of the shop for even suggesting that they might have such a rare, precious thing.
I got this treatment at the local branch of Game. When the chortling subsided one of the less profoundly brain damaged sales assistants suggest I place a deposit and put my name on the list for their incoming Xmas stock. I reached for my wallet and asked how soon to Xmas this new stock might be arriving, they all just started laughing again...
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I'm genuinely suprised that the PS2 is still selling out. Isn't this its fourth Christmas? I really thought everyone who wants one, would have one by now.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I'm genuinely suprised that the PS2 is still selling out.
From Amazon:
quote:Sony have informed us that they will be out of stock of the PlayStation 2 console for the next few weeks. As a result, we do not expect to have this item in stock until January 2005.
I'm in big trouble now.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Prices are creeping up on ebay too.
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
It's fucking Sony limiting supplies to make their creaky old console look popular innit.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I don't get that at all - their business strategy is to sell fewer consoles? It doesn't make any sense. I've heard that before. I just don't believe that they'd be so rash. Limit supplies, sell fewer consoles... then anyone who can't get a PS2 will buy an XBox, surely? It just doesn't make sense.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: It's fucking Sony limiting supplies to make their creaky old console look popular innit.
So will they suddenly appear in the shops again before Xmas? Look at this ebay jobbie - current bid £99 and auction about to end. Note at bottom: "IM NOT SELLING PLAYSTATION 2 IM SELLING IMFORMATION ON HOW TO GET ONE FOR £20.BUY BIDDING YOU HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU ARE BIDDING FOR." Oh dear oh dear.
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I don't get that at all - their business strategy is to sell fewer consoles? It doesn't make any sense. I've heard that before. I just don't believe that they'd be so rash. Limit supplies, sell fewer consoles... then anyone who can't get a PS2 will buy an XBox, surely? It just doesn't make sense.
No, it doesn't make any sense to me either but you did hear about the PS2 launch didn't you? Also, I'm not convinced they would lose that many sales. Most people in my experience want a particular console for various reason (exclusive games, it's what all their mates have got, etc) and I don't really see many people going shopping for simply 'a console' so that they'll just pick up whatever they can get their hands on. All that aside, it should perhaps be noted that much of my post is rooted in a deap-seated hatred for Sony and a genuine belief that they're pricks of the highest order so my ideas might not stand up too well to close analysis.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I know that everyone wants more on this story so I Googled and there's rumours that the new shape/size PS2 has faults and keeps getting returned, so Sony had to stop production and fix it and then start making them again causing the shortage in the shops. Can't find anyone promising to have them in stock. Might have to go and place an order somewhere and then hope for the best.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Might have to go and place an order somewhere and then hope for the best.
I can see dang visiting one of his childrens' friends' houses in the middle of the night with a bag marked SWAG and a ladies' stocking over his face.
[ 29.11.2004, 05:29: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
Am I too late? Can't believe I missed this thread. Pants. Dang, have sent you my addy anyway. Want someone to send prezzie to!
[ 29.11.2004, 05:50: Message edited by: Octavia ]
Posted by squirrelandgman (Member # 201) on :
Refurbished PS2 any good to anyone?? Here like. Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by squirrelandgman: Refurbished PS2 any good to anyone?? Here like.
That'll do nicely. Just ordered one. Bless you.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Octavia: Am I too late?
Yes. But if anyone else wants to join then I am willing to do the allocation routine once more, though it won't quite as random as last time obviously. Names and addresses to dang65@yahoo.com if you want a present from Octavia.
*Incoming!* Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
What on earth is a 'refurbished' PS2? Has it been redecorated with a nice floral pattern or something?
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Not wanting to undermine your present buying or anything Dang but I'm amazed that anyone is still buying the PS2, speaking as someone who has botht the PS2 and the Xbox there really isn't much comparison, the graphics, sound and animation are all better on the Xbox, the controllers are far more solidly made and more ergonomically designed imo, and the biggest reason for buying a PS2, the Pro Evolution Soccer series, has finally come out on the Xbox as of last week, and I can happily report that like every other game I've played it's also better on the Xbox. I would have sold you my PS2 had I seen this earlier, I only use it for playing DVDs these days really.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
I think Dang is the kind of bad parent who will buy GTA San Andreas for his eight year old. Fo' shame motherfucker Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
I’ve signed up for this exchange all excited-like and just realized that I have absolutely NO IDEA what to send my victim. Ideas? What would you all like to receive?
I’m happy with exotic overseas candies and tv shows, but I’m very very simple.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I know exactly what I'm getting for my victim *rubs hands together menacingly* Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Can I just request that whoever sends me something makes sure they don't send anything I wouldn't want my parents to see
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Physic: Not wanting to undermine your present buying or anything Dang but I'm amazed that anyone is still buying the PS2... I only use it for playing DVDs these days really.
Does the X-Box not play DVDs then?
Reason for buying a PS2 is kind of like this:
1. We've already got some Playstation games.
2. We don't have a family DVD player and you can get a DVD remote control for the PS2 so it will become the family DVD player as well, connected to the big telly in the sitting room.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Xbox does play DVDs yes but in a typical Microshaft con you have to get the 'DVD kit' to enable DVD playing, and sicne I already use the PS2 for dvd playing I haven't bothered.
I should also mention that as far as I know the DVD remote control is a waste of money for the PS2, as I'm reliably informed that its performance is erratic at best, several functions don't work at all, and besides you can just use the PS2 controller which is what I do, for the amount that you use a DVD remote it's never seemed a worthwhile investment to me, I mean its not like a tv remote where you use it all the time for channel hopping, you navigate a couple of menus and click on a few things, not much more than that in my experience.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Can I just request that whoever sends me something makes sure they don't send anything I wouldn't want my parents to see
That's gonna halt up the despatch of a vibra-pussy or two.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
We could turn this thread into Fantasy Secret Santa.
What someone would really like to get. and from whom.
What they will actually get. and from whom.
Let the speculation ensue!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: We could turn this thread into Fantasy Secret Santa.
What someone would really like to get. and from whom.
What they will actually get. and from whom.
Let the speculation ensue!
H1ppy.
What I'd like to give; 10 stern inches till you bleed.
What you'd get; Fucked 4 times and a nosebleed.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Can I just request that whoever sends me something makes sure they don't send anything I wouldn't want my parents to see
That's gonna halt up the despatch of a vibra-pussy or two.
Yeah. I mean, can you return them?
I'm, er. Just asking.
Posted by Stefanos (Member # 53) on :
quote:Originally posted by I am not...: ahh.. the memories... I really was quite good at the goading wasn't I?
People I have goaded into good posting: 1. Stefanos
You what? Honestly, you little prick! I leave you on your own for a month and this is the sort of shit you come out with! Goading me into a good posting. Honestly, I load my conversations with one liners from the Pro Milone and stuff like that and you act as if you didn't realise. I make a senseless long post about a fictious childhood with you as my subnormal (and quite possibly criminally insane) younger brother and you 'member it! Shit! I mean - what would Mum think? What would she think of your potty-mouthed antics? And never mind Mum - what about `Uncle Dave'? You know - the one with the lazy eye and limp who used to come round and `tuck you in' at night. You encouraged him, didn't you? Didn't you?
And I bet you've never told anyone hear (London's meedja elite? I fucking ask you!) about the dog have you - the times I caught you smearing your undercarriage with Bovril so that the dog would...well that's another story.
You're in big trouble, IAM. I've arranged with a few of my mates in Basildon to come round to you in the white transit tomorrow night and we're going for a long, quiet `walk' in Epping Forest, so I can have a word in your shell-like. Don't bother hiding in the lookup, Big Dave's been watching it for a while and he knows where you keep the stuff.
Questions I have about the forum:
Is Thorn funny yet?
Is Ben still right?
Is Mart still affable?
Has anyone here ever actually fucking tried Peccorino Romana?
[ 06.12.2004, 16:00: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by Stefanos:
Has anyone here ever actually tried fucking Peccorino Romana?
[/QB]
Yes, and it was lovely. But that was a long time ago. Before her brother, Pecorino Romano, found out and caused trouble.
Posted by Stefanos (Member # 53) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: [QUOTE]Yes, and it was lovely. But that was a long time ago. Before her brother, Pecorino Romano, found out and caused trouble.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Stefanos:
Is Thorn funny yet?
I did a review of Van Helsing, which some people found quite droll but that was about 7 months ago now. According to Squeegy I'm less funny than ever, but he's a pretty worthless poster so I wouldn't take his word for it.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Back on sleigh-track, I had an organisational thought. Should we all send our gifts at the same time, so they all arrive on (approximately) the same time, for maximum 'ooh I wonder who sent me this, was it you, mine's shit my SS must hate me :woe:' fun and games? And, if so, what shall be the magic date?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Should we all send our gifts at the same time?
This seems like a very good idea, except that I sent my prezzy out First Class last Tuesday. I have not heard owt from the recipient yet and am getting a little nervous that a) it hasn't arrived for some reason and it wasn't registered or b) that it has arrived but was so shite that they've decided to just not mention it at all and pretend it never happened. Lesson: Use registered post so you can check with the PO to see if they've delivered it, then you'll know it's definitely b).
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I am eating a mince pie right now! I wanted to send a bag of sick from the plane post-meat to my recipient but unfortunately the contents of my tummy remained there so now I will have to think of something else - unless I can be sick before I have to post it of course! Also, barry, I have thought of a way that might work if you still want to send bees.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
But if it's secret then the recipient wouldn't know who had sent it so wouldn't know who to mention it to.
?
I have been tardy and not sent anything yet.
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
Grr. Just found out we have to send our packages by the 11th to have them get there on time!
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by philomel: But if it's secret then the recipient wouldn't know who had sent it so wouldn't know who to mention it to.
No, but if they wrote on here, "Woohoo! I got an amazing x in the post today, and a y as well! Cool!" Then the person who'd sent it would probably go, "Hmmm, I sent one of those and one of those to that person. Could be a coincidence of course. Still..."
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
Don't you people save presents 'til Christmas Day? :grrr:
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
woo-hoo. That's a link for post-by dates, by the way.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Fucking hell! Deadline for parcels is 15th December. I haven't assembled all of my bees yet! How's everybody else doing?
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
15 December?!?!?!?!
Oh noes Im ill and am not up to shopping or anything, crap. the person who might not get it was mine, i had plans for it and stuff too
Maybe thats only a "safe" date and if you post it later itll probably still get there.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
If you fail to post you get fucked up. One time. You do know that, don't you?
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
ive got a glandular infection you ****
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
it might be mumphs. i could do die! my fucking balls might end up exploding if im not careful.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Just text your Christmas child a photo of your exploded balls in your swollen throat. That would make a dandy gift. A gift that would make an orphan smile.
P.S. Isn't a 'glandular infection' what celebrities say when they've got the AIDS?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Woooah! I just caught a magic post! 33300! That's 'OOEEE' backwards!
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
oooh mines winging its way to thee secret present getter.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
I posted mine off on Thursday after checking Hippy's link, which caused me to enter a state of panic and guilt. I hope the recipient likes it - I tried to make it 'relevant'.
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
Froopy and I are posting ours tomorrow, using faster from-work post services. I am quite pleased with our little packages and hope our satanic designees are as well.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
I done mine good.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I'm such a ret, I still need to pull my finger out and get on with this. Luckily I've got today and tomorrow off work so I should be able to sort something out. Although I had arranged to play Final Fantasty 7 with Emily. *Sigh* why is my life so busy?
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
Youre going to end up comatose from ff7 instead. if your secret santa is london or uber send them that, its better than codine!
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
I just posted mine!!! It's made me feel all Christmassy and smiley. [You better bloody appreciate it or I shall stamp on your toes wearing huge hobnailed boots with razors embedded on the soles ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I'm getting into a panic. I just can't think what to buy mine... I can't burn CDs, or anything like that, and don't really know them well enough to send something stupid as they might be offended. YIKES.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I'm not doing mine til after Wednesday but before Friday which means my recipient will receive it sometime between now and Christmas
eta: did we decide what to do about opening them? Like, do we have to wait until everyone has received their present and then open them all on the same day? Or what?
[ 13.12.2004, 09:25: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by jnhoj: Youre going to end up comatose from ff7 instead. if your secret santa is london or uber send them that, its better than codine!
christmas fule, in what universe is ff7 better than codeine? in your mumph-ridden world, that's where. Don't do a die though, k?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
FF7 is pretty damn good. I would say, in terms of hours of enjoyment, it pips codeine. However, it's more likely to lead to addiction, irritability and mood swings, so it's not perfect.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I sent mine this morning, from the incredibly packed Post Office where I had to negotiate passage round 6 (6!) pushchairs which individually attempted to strip the skin from my shins.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I sympathise hippy, I went to the post office earlier and they were queuing out the door! Sod that, says I, I will come back later.
Re: FF7 - isn't it one of those games where you have to take turns to fight though? That just seems stupid to me. A fight isn't a fight unless you completely knacker your thumbs. To say, "Ok, you kick my arse while I just stand here and not run away and then I'll give you a real whuping afterwards" just doesn't cut it for me.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
yeah, it has a turn based combat system, but it doesn't make it any less exciting when it's a fight that you can't afford to lose.
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
i havent even bought my present yet! i dont even know what im getting! i was hoping that someone would have published a book called why sharks are brilliant and you must not kill them or eat dogfish steaks or be scared of them because they are the Rulers of Everything Good but it does not seem to exist. all i could find was books full of pictures of beautiful tiger sharks hanging deadishly from hooks held aloft by grinning fisher*****. RONG! pictures of sharkdeath are not the gift that keeps on giving.
and i have just volunteered to do an extra shift at work tomorrow which means i will be starting at 10.30am and finishing at 2am the next morning. this reduces the window of time in which i will be able to buy a present and get to a post office quite dramatically. on the other hand, in the very best possible case scenario, this does increase my opportunities to get the autographs of Miscellaneous Famouses such as Sir Cliff Richard, Sir Ozzy Osbourne, and Sir Liza Minelli for my scret satan present. imagine, a picture of a shark signed by natasha bedingfield! that would be a world-beating secret santa present!
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
i meant better in terms of sending you to sleep.
turn based combat, peretty brr. And random battles, lol! saying that, i can stomach shadowrun and system shock 2 and deus ex, which are basically turn baseds that you can move in, being as your aim has very very little effect on what is happening.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
It is probably too late to bribe Dang in order to have Disco as my secret satan, isn't it? Yes, I thought so.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
In the post.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: In the post.
How do you manage to make those three innocent words sound so sinister?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Because the three missing words at the beginning of the sentence are "Your bees are..." ?
[ 14.12.2004, 09:21: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Mine and rooster's are in transit, winging their way as I type to their respective recipients. As it happened it was most economical to ship them express (via UPS) from my office rather than the U.S. Postal Service, who couldn't even guarantee they'd arrive on time. Ours should be delivered tomorrow. Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
i still havent bought my gift and they are not allowing us to ask celentities for their autographs at work! apparently it is 'not professional'. fuck that in a top hat, i earn seven pounds a cocking hour and im working a 16 hour shift with celentities* every fucking where i look! i just served Scouse Aloud a plastic cup of heinz tomato soup and i dont even work in the canteen, know what im saying? theyre having to delegate non-soup servers from other areas of catering to deal with celentities, there are somany of the ***** floating about like stink. i want to send my secret satan a piece of paper saying, DEAR (dISCO'S SECRET SATAN), MERRY CHRISTMAS! YOURE JUST A LOVE MACHINE! LOVE, SCOUSE ALOUD**! or DEAR (DISCO'S SECRET SATAN), BABY JESUS LOVES YOU, I THINK YOURE A FUCKING **** ! LOVE liza minelli PS hope you like the book about sharks! youknow? whats the point of working the RVP if you cant harrass celentities? this is fucking bullshit, man!
* SELL-ENTITIES. do you see what i did there? yeah?
** prettier in real life.***
*** some might say thats not difficult. i would have take the fifth in the name of the Sisterhood on this point.
[ 14.12.2004, 11:51: Message edited by: discodamage ]
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
Theyre not allowing you and this is stopping you why?
Pussy
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
I'm going to have to leave for the doctors tommorow so Im forcing myself into town to get the things I had in mind. You know what, its going to be like the plague, whoever gets my present is going to get mumps from a blanket HAHAHaaahAHAhahaHahAHahA
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Do you really have mumps? I saw a man reading a paper tonight that had an article about a mumps outbreak in a universitiy, or maybe several. It said it was "Worse than you think!" - so you should go to the doctors, for real.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
i went to docs on monday (this has been going on for a week and a half) and he said it might be mumps and gave me antibiotics to get the cough off my chest that i think was aggrevating it. it might just be infection but its still swollen, i dont know how bad its supposed to be.
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
FUUUUUUUUUUCK! fuckfuckfuckfuck.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I've gone done and posted mine, after standing in the longest queue in the world for all of lunchtime. My present's a bit shit, though, so soz like.
Also, has anyone here read The Meaning of Liff? The post office experience always put me in mind of one of the definitions - 'the pointless tapping with a finger on glass when trying to communicate with a goldfish or a post office clerk'. And makes me smile broadly in the queue like a mental.
[ 15.12.2004, 09:37: Message edited by: herbs ]
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
my parcel has just arrived! and it is a real parcel and everything. it even rattles a bit when you shake it. not that i did shake it deliberately but i did jog up the stairs slightly with excitement and that set off the slight rattling.
am i allowed to open it? or do i have to wait?
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
Cor! It's just like Christmas!!
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I have posted my Secret Satan! I am assuming it will arrive on time, but I took one look at the humungous queue in the post office and stalked into Smiths where I bought my bodyweight in Christmas stamps and spent a cheery few minutes transferring them wholesale onto the envelope. The present's really boring though. Sorry. My imagination was cauterised by booze. Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
NO BUT REALLY. AM I ALLOWED TO OPEN IT.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
IF YOU OPEN YOUR PRESENTS BEFORE CHRISTMAS SANTA SOBS. DON'T MAKE SANTA SOB, DISCO.
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
ID REALLY LIKE TO IF IT WONT RUIN THE GAME. but if it will ruin the game i will ask my mum to hide it for me and it will be like regressing to the age of six, only without the red wellies, smocked dresses, or first ever crushing realisation of life's essential and unending unfairness.
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
FUCK SANTA. SANTA CAN SUCK MY LEFT ONE. I WANT TO KNOW WHATS IN THE PARCEL.
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
Sod that - I have to do enough of that at home with daughter. OPEN IT!!!!
That was very badly timed. It was supposed to be after Louche's post. Not after Disco's "suck my left one" post.
[ 15.12.2004, 10:18: Message edited by: saltrock ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I think everyone should open their Secret gifts as soon as they arrive and then start posting about them here. This will help to pass the time up to the real Christmas and will also mean we don't have to post comments after Christmas when everyone will be like, "Owww, *headache*, just shut up about the C word will you, *bleurgh*". I'll be like that anyway, hopefully.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
IF YOU OPEN IT YOU WILL SPOIL IT FOR EVERYONE! I am not quite sure how. You will feel all adrenalin and excited when you rip open the package and then dirty and guilty for your lack of patience and inability to forbear. DO YOU WANT TO FEEL DIRTY?
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
lol at saltrock's accidental protracted breast-feeding admission.
mmmm....jellybeans!
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Fuck you, too, Dang.
SULK
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Well my Satan's recipient can't open theirs seeing as I still have it. Actually, I have half of it and the shop as the other. Mine's not going to forren though so I have up til Friday to post it.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Eyy. Now that Disco has had her present and gone done opened it, let's try and work out who her secret satan is.
So, Disco - what kind of jelly beans are they? How were they wrapped? What was the postmark on the parcel?
Posted by Gemini (Member # 428) on :
After having stalked my victim (umm recipient) thru the interweb trying to match real name to username to have some little clue about what the hell to get him/she/it . I have now bought pressie covered parcel in sellotape (my favourite bit) and stood in queue at post office for several days. IT IS DONE! .
[ 15.12.2004, 11:05: Message edited by: Gemini ]
Posted by Gemini (Member # 428) on :
*mutters bloody dp. Blame whiskey and hot lemon.
[ 15.12.2004, 11:04: Message edited by: Gemini ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I want to do this! I want to join in!
It's too late, isn't it. Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
I think the Sacred Satan recipients should go ahead and open their parcels as they receive them. Particularly because I don't think any of us will be spending time on Christmas checking TMO. Or will we?
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: I want to do this! I want to join in!
It's too late, isn't it.
you could send me the dfa album, you'd have to remain anon for that....
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: I think the Sacred Satan recipients should go ahead and open their parcels as they receive them. Particularly because I don't think any of us will be spending time on Christmas checking TMO. Or will we?
not me. i intend to be having a christmas without the internet.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I've just got mine!
*claps hands in glee*
I'm going to see if I can wait until tomorrow before I rip it open. I already know who it's from tho... but this has in no way lessened the excitement.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
I done got home to find mine waiting for me! Also, I forgot mad name I gave to Dang as crap-faux-disguise - the husband had to collect parcel from the neighbour and was slightly sheepish.
Currently I am charging some batteries for the digo-camera. Then I will open it and make pictores come on the interweb.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
My house. Earlier.
O! A mysterious package! What can it be?
Aha! It is yet another mysterious package! Curiouser and curiouser....
Look! It is excellent present number one!
Look again! It is excellent present number two!
That Christina Aguilera has a way with words! Here she is telling me "More people should really hear me sing. I have a gift from God." Indeed. She has inspired me to flick the Vs. At her words.
Thank you for my gifts, secret satan! [rolf]Can anyone tell who it is yet?[/rolf]
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
its from ringo. there are cars on the packaging.
i dont have a digital camera (i am hoping for one from not so secret santa, in fact it will be purchased from atlanta international airport on sunday afternoon sometime) so i shall try and describe my package with the power of my wurdz.
1. small jar of gourmet jellybeans yay! i am eating them as i type. luckily they are not jelly belly which always funk me off as they have those two flavours that are really mung and nearly make you want to do a technicolour jellysick in the back of the x-mo taxi (this happened to me in 1997!). what are those flavours again? oh yeah, ASS and EXTRA SPICY ASS. and theres another one which tastes like a dirty ASS-TRAY.
anyway, these are not them, thank mungus. eyyyyy badda badda badda ser-wing SANTA!
2) a stainless steel balance-y acrobat balance-y desk toy, just like the one i had when i was 12. eyyyyy badda badda badda ser-wing SANTA!
3) i just got a root beer jelly bean! they are my best flavour! eyyy badda badda badda ser-wing SANTA!
4) a thing that sticks to your wall with suckers, that has clips on it that you can hang small things from. to be honest i havent a clue what you hang from it- very small x-mo cards, mayhap. but it is good and i like it! eyyyy badda badda badda ser-wing SANTA!
5) a lavender knicker drawer sachet with a teddy bear on. very necessary. eyyy badda badda badda ser-wing SAN-TA!
all in all a veritable haul of pirate treasure for the chrismukkah season. i was slightly disappointed when i realised that the bratz box was just window dressing but thats only because someone pointed out to me that bratz dolls' mouths look like vuhgeenuhs and i wanted to check for myself, but shrug, theres always next year!
oh and by the way- my parcel is from saltrock. i know this because:
1. girl's handwriting
2. the bratz packaging
3. it said the postcode on the label, and i have a pathetically wide knowledge of the postcodes of the southwest from my time working on 999.
i just ate my last jelly bean. ken-e-dy ken-e-dy ken-e-dy SER-wing santa Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
quote:Originally posted by discodamage: what are those flavours again? oh yeah, ASS and EXTRA SPICY ASS. and theres another one which tastes like a dirty ASS-TRAY.
Exce-lol extremus! I love disco, I do.
Despite car wrapping, Ringo was not my secret satan! I know who it is because I read the delivery note that came on the outer packing (check out my crap Marple stylin). There is big clue in actual presents, mind.
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
Yay! I'm glad you like them. Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
either froopy or rooster, innit.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Just because they're Yanks doesn't make them ho's disco Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
I suppose the New England calendar part could be construed as something of a hint.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I suspect my secret santee will be a bit disappointed after those excellent gifts Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I just had to eat about a third of my recipient's present to get it to fit into the box. Thing is, it's not even an edible gift Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I am not in Secret Santa because I am a not-Secret Scrooge, but I am gaining a grudging pleasure from other people's joy on this thread!
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
quote:Originally posted by discodamage: either froopy or rooster, innit.
but you do have to figure out which one gave which (the shipping receipt won't give it away since they were both shipped by the same person).
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I sent my present shiny first class a week ago. I hope it got lost, rather than the givee is to embarrassed to acknowledge it.
This is lots of fun though, why didn't we do it before?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I just received a turd in a fancy hat-box.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I just received a turd in a fancy hat-box.
Human or animal?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
It tastes human.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: It tastes human.
Don't drink it all at once... It's supposed to last until the new year!
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Too late.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
At least it's recyclable. Maybe you could send your forthcoming production to another forumite.
Excreta - the gift that keeps on giving!
[ 16.12.2004, 05:41: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Yowser! I too have a package from New England! And it rules! So much trouble... so much thought. Makes my gift look even more shit than it was before.
It contains:
'Candy' - some particularly saliva-gland-provoking-looking starburst jelly beans, and a pez dispenser in the shape of america's finest hero - the firefighter.
A lovely purple fuzzy journal, which is remarkably prescient as I have just started keeping a journal.
A CD of cracking Xmas tunes, such as 'jingle bell rock' and ''i saw mummy kissing santa claus'
and a DVD of US quality comedy, plus fave choons, to brighten up the long winter nights.
COLL!!
My Clouseau-like detectiv skillz have told me that it is from the male half of the Frooprooster. This is due to the style of writing of the note, the general technological bent, and the fact that he gets the horn at one of the ladies' voices.
THANK YOU!
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I posted mine this morning. I went to the post office at 9.47am and was out by 10.00am. That's the secret folks - go early in the morning to avoid the queues. It went off first class so should be arriving soon...
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: go early in the morning to avoid the queues.
In my experience, Post Offices in the early morning usually contain an army of silver-haired coffin-dodgers, looking for trouble. Avoid!
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Wednesday is Giro and pension day. In London anyway.
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
++++EMERGENCY++++EMERGENCY++++ Does anyone remember which thread has a link to the website that sells Ian Fleming box sets for £10? I think Black Mask posted it. Please hlep! ++++EMERGENCY++++EMERGENCY++++
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
This scheme appears to be ticking over very nicely. Santa is very pleased with you all. Checking the Santabase against posts on here I see that six people have not yet mentioned whether they've sent their secret present (although there's no reason why they should mention it) and also that ten people have sent parcels but not had confirmation of receipt. Hopefully we can expect some entertaining gift-unwrapping tales over the next few days then.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: ++++EMERGENCY++++EMERGENCY++++ Does anyone remember which thread has a link to the website that sells Ian Fleming box sets for £10? I think Black Mask posted it. Please hlep! ++++EMERGENCY++++EMERGENCY++++
thebookpeople Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
thank you!
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Hurumph. This looks fun, wish I had done it now. But I did have to do a work SS, and we had our dinner and unwrapping last night...
I got: A 'Rude Origami' set. I can make a penis, some lips, two pigs (having sex) and two squirrels (having sex). I do not know if I will make these things, except maybe the squirrels which look good.
And: A bonsai potato set. This is in fact a plastic stand for a potato (not included) which may at some point grow a sprout in a manner reminiscent of a bonsai tree. I will probably do this by virtue of placing the stand in my vegetable rack along with the ready made sprouting potatoes.
Least appropriate gift: Went to Mattieu, the chic French chap who only wears black and is compulsively clean. He got an ashtray with a model of a 'rasta-man' with a big spliff standing on it. Mattieu does not smoke.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I just got a large posh Crabtree & Evelyn bag of goodies from the bent, near-blind old prof upstairs.
I don't think he was my secret satan though.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
Mine fingers crossed will be going out this afternoon. as long as this dvd burning nonsense starts working. oh nero, why wont you burn my .img?
faggit thing, suggestions for program to burn file type welcome.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Crabtree & Evelyn
Weren't they the miserable old sods in the Muppet show?
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
oh lol i justd .mg to .iso and it worked, ROFL LOLOLOLOL NOW MY GIFT IS NEQARLY READY WILL U HANDLE IT. WILL U HANDLE IT. I DONT THINK SO BABY, change
do we all know who theyre from yet?
Mine was from dang, the king, because he told me so, which was silly. But ! I got the ENTIRE COLLECTION OF BRIAN ENO. EVERYTHING! The education starts here.
I also got a random mix cd with what looks suspciously like world music, but i am interested!
And a sven hassle book, who i am assured is great.
all in soothing blue packaging, i cant wait to strart consumption after christmas.
whoever gets mine aint got shit packaging, sorry im a young boy.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: My Clouseau-like detectiv skillz have told me that it is from the male half of the Frooprooster.
I feel like I'm violating some sort of Secret Santa Confidentiality Claus(e) here... but you may want to guess again. Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
Today has yonder been posted and tus tommoroweth or the dayeth aftis shouldt arrivke.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Thank you to my secret Welsh Santa for my gifts.
I now wish I'd had time to make a CD - I'll send something else in the New Yaer when I's not so busy
[ 16.12.2004, 12:32: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot:
quote:Originally posted by herbs: My Clouseau-like detectiv skillz have told me that it is from the male half of the Frooprooster.
I feel like I'm violating some sort of Secret Santa Confidentiality Claus(e) here... but you may want to guess again.
B-but that means that your wife has lady lustings for her in the Cardigans!
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs:
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot:
quote:Originally posted by herbs: My Clouseau-like detectiv skillz have told me that it is from the male half of the Frooprooster.
I feel like I'm violating some sort of Secret Santa Confidentiality Claus(e) here... but you may want to guess again.
B-but that means that your wife has lady lustings for her in the Cardigans!
It keeps things interesting.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I got home and there was a monster parcel outside my door.
My Secret Santa is both inspired and godlike. I have a number of abstruse new reading materials to peruse, some exce vintage fillums, a classic game, booze, and complete shedloads of confectionery. What more could anyone ask for? If I can fit everything on one picture, I may post one up later.
I keep on going .
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: My Clouseau-like detectiv skillz have told me that it is from the male half of the Frooprooster. This is due to the style of writing of the note, the general technological bent, and the fact that he gets the horn at one of the ladies' voices.
Ha ha. I'd like to say I did it on purpose, but I didn't, so I guess I write like a boy and love technology and sexy woman voices like one too.
Actually, the second of those three things is really quite sad: I get to play the male in my marriage and salivate over gadgetry in the stores. I always ask Santa for “boy toys”* - this Christmas I am writing to him for a drum set….
*and not the kind Madonna cherishes.
[ 16.12.2004, 18:45: Message edited by: rooster ]
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by rooster: Actually, the second of those three things is really quite sad: I get to play the male in my marriage and salivate over gadgetry in the stores.
This isn't sad at all. We just have this ongoing dueling gadgetry competition. Don't know what this has to do with playing the male role though.
Oh, and there was supposed to be a Pez dispenser in Sidney's packet also. One of an air force pilot, the American bringer of liberation to the oppressed world*. I think I will post this via more traditional** means as a part two of the secret santa thing, because I was too stupid to remember to include it the first time.
* may not be true ** traditional = slow
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Rooster Rules! Many a happy hour last night watching episodes of Family Man (gosh, isn't it rude!), and the version of Jingle Bells by the Brian Setzer Orchestra had me grooving around the sitting room. Though this could be due to the large quantity of vividly coloured jelly beans i have ingested, in my 'guess the flavor game. I like the way that although that huge bag of candy has about 800 calories, and enough sugar to turn you instantly diabetic, it says in big letters on the back 'A Fat-Free Food!".
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Rooster Rules! Many a happy hour last night watching episodes of Family Man (gosh, isn't it rude!)
Do you mean Family Guy? If so i've been bigging this show up for, like, four years. @anger@
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Bandy- are there any particular episodes you don't have? We might be able to wing a CD your way.
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
Yeah, not that I'm making an admission, but we just might have every episode...
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
Yay! I got my Secret Santa gift:
Fruit & Nut Chocolate (organic no less) A blank book with a regal and fluffy looking white kitty on the cover A striped mouse mat, which is fitting because 1.) I do have a fondness for stripes, and 2.) I have no mouse pad at work (the laser mouse I used has actually burned little holes in the piece of paper I keep under it)
Accompanying my present was a neato card that said “Happy Christmas,” which is something I only hear from my mum around these parts
I am guessing the sender is female (from the handwriting), but I’m not quite sure who it is…
Whoever it is, Thank You! I will definitely enjoy all three items.
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
I just got mine this morning too!
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU
I got loads of cool stuff!: 2 Coldplay CD's - how apt! A book for my daughter - schweeeet! A jar of purple yam [fuck knows what you do with it but hey, I'll find something] Harry Potter DVD Hello Kitty Candy Slimming Herbs [I'm loving this!] And some CD's I've not ever heard before, so, great!
Also, it said there was a comedy eye to go on my boob but I can't see it, maybe that's why it's comedy? So, sorry, but I shan't be posting the pic of me wearing it.
I think that mine might have come from Damo? If it is, THANKS DAMO, if it's not - THANK YOU OTHER PERSON!
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
why me? i'm crunk and feeling like that crab that wants to marry the lobster queen in that joke.
trust me my secret santa is gonna be mightily disappointed. "is this it?" is what they will scream.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
spud gun- check cloned dogs- check dogs with wings- check and check elvis card- check
bostin'!
thanks sidney
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Woo and, perhaps, hoo. I got my secret surprise yesterday. Firstly the gifts were placed at the altar of the Tannenbaum, which looks like it needs a few offerings anyway:
I then hired the services of a firm of Secret Gift Extraction Consultants, purely for health and safety reasons. One can never be too careful in these days of constant terror threats from devious Musselmans and slippery Eurps.
I must say that the small team of operatives were very efficient and highly skilled in their work.
And this is what they revealed...
A small dog book for dogs to read. I will make the dog read it and get him to post a review later.
A book about my current town of inhabiting. First thoughts - how the fuck has someone managed to fill 120+ pages on the topic of Wilmslow? But, I did read the first essay, written by a 90-year-old geezer that's lived here all his life, and it almost made me do a small cry. Mind you, it was 2 o'clock in the morning when I read it. Seems this was a different place in olden yeares. Maybe I'll walk around pretending it's the 1920s from now on and Wilmslow will be OK after all.
A Che Guevara desk calendar. Ideal for a pseud like me! The best looking of all the revolutionaries, and that's really the most important thing one looks for in a revolutionary, surely.
I'm very pleased. Unexpected items, which is always a bonus. And actual money spent. I must admit that I spent no money at all on my Secret Recipient, apart from stamps to send the present. Still, Christmas is all about spending as little money as humanly possible. Which is why I'm in the office on a Sunday doing overtime. $$$$ Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: thanks sidney
you are most welcome, damo. I tried to put a bit of thought into it, although my plan to include some tasty salt 'n' vinegar crisps backfired somewhat - I forgot. It seems that so far everyone has received good presents and I have 2 calendars!
[ 19.12.2004, 11:45: Message edited by: Sidney ]
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
and salt and vinegar crisps would have gone down like a brilliant thing yesterday. but! its ! ok! 4 days and i'll get my own!
i'm really thinking how i'm going to shoot my roommate with the spudgun.
the dog paperweights are rocking and are sitting next to my turntables like some sort of cerebus guarding the needles.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
My Secret Santa truly lived up to their secretiveness by including an enigmatic card which divulged sufficient information to make me burn with a curiosity hotter than Brad Pitt's thighs in Troy. I recieved my Satan Secret yesterday morning after a fraught trip to the post depot, and clutched it, anxiously and in anticipation, in my warm palms all the way home on the train.
From my Santa of Secrets I recieved:
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Ludicrous writer hits catholicism. I just know this is going to be a Sunday afternoon's comedy gold of giggling joy.
Lemon bon-bons. Huzzah! Melty mouth decadence in a packet, to be consumed with book.
1 pack of 4 x AA batteries. Dear Secret Santa, this did make me do a gigantic lol and was perfectly thought out present which makes me like you lots....
I am off to use my cunning and furtive detective-skills to deduce who you are. Actually, I might just harangue Dang. Which rhymes!
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Persons participating in this scheme who haven't told us if they've received anything are: froopyscot, Gemini, Uber Trick, Black Mask, Miffysocks, Ringo, Bandy, Vogon Poetess and philomel. Anyone got anything to report? Anyone failed to send something? Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
You know when I sent you my address and I put Cape Town in brackets after Earlsfield that that was a little joke between you and me Dang, as onetime residents of SW London? Somebody hasn't really sent my gift to Cape Town, have they?
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
I was out yesterday and won't be back until tomorrow so I just don't know! :anticipation: :wistful:
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: You know when I sent you my address and I put Cape Town in brackets after Earlsfield that that was a little joke between you and me Dang, as onetime residents of SW London?
My records show that the reference to Cape Town was removed from the Santabase during data entry, yes, so you should get something sent to your Earlsfield villitch and not Seth Efrica.
By-the-way, we have proper heavy snow falling here just now. It seems that Christmas is actually getting its act together this year.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
Some people seem to be telling who sent what, is this going to be done officiarly when everyones received everything , or what , I just don't know!
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by jnhoj: or what ,I just don't know!
I think the idea is to just do whatever you want. Some people really don't know who they've sent stuff to/received stuff from; others were blatantly obvious and the people knew each other IRL anyway; others are just being discreet and pretending they don't know just to keep alive the "Secret" bit of "Secret Santa". It's all just a bit of fun as Rob Brydon says every twenty-three seconds during his crap talk show pastiche programme.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I honestly have no idea whatsoever in the slightest who my Satan Secret is and it is driving me utterly fucking batshit. Especially since I have subsequently remembered in which context I have mentioned lemon bonbons...
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I honestly have no idea whatsoever in the slightest who my Satan Secret is and it is driving me utterly fucking batshit.
Could be kovacs?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I have sent and not received, if that helps. Also, I know that presents have been sent to three of the people that you mentioned in your little list up there, and only one of them was sent by me. Does that further add to crypticism?
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
i have received. and sent. but not sure if its been received yet....
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Or my Secret Satan could just own up, thus saving me several hours of intelligence numbing and ultimately unsuccessful deduction. I will be reduced to drawing line diagrams and probability graphs soon. You're laughing out there, aren't you? Cackling at my frustration? Grrr.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I can't say nuffink, for security reasons. I'm really sorry, and I can confirm that you are nice, really. Your Santa will have to out themselves and that's all there is to it.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I've received fuck-all.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I've received fuck-all.
That's a bit bad, especially as the person who is your Secret Santa has received their own gift and described it to us with great glee on here, but said nothing about sending anything to you. Still, there's time for them to redeem themselves yet. If they get a move on.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I've received fuck-all.
I've always wanted one of those. It's a power tool, right? Like a saws-all? But used for very different purposes, naturally.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Neither I nor rooster have received ours - but I expected ours to take a while, considering the shipping involved. I'm sure you all will hear about it once we have ours in hand and unwrapped and such.
edit: ****ing typos
[ 20.12.2004, 10:30: Message edited by: froopyscot ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by rooster: Yay! I got my Secret Santa gift:
Fruit & Nut Chocolate (organic no less) A blank book with a regal and fluffy looking white kitty on the cover A striped mouse mat, which is fitting because 1.) I do have a fondness for stripes, and 2.) I have no mouse pad at work (the laser mouse I used has actually burned little holes in the piece of paper I keep under it)
Accompanying my present was a neato card that said “Happy Christmas,” which is something I only hear from my mum around these parts
I am guessing the sender is female (from the handwriting), but I’m not quite sure who it is…
Whoever it is, Thank You! I will definitely enjoy all three items.
Do you talk to your wife much, froops?
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
SENT (unacknowledged) and not received. It's a fucking outrage.
[ 20.12.2004, 10:33: Message edited by: Vogon Poetess ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: Neither I [x nor rooster x] have received ours
The person sending yours froopy has not mentioned sending anything and has not mentioned receiving anything even though their gift was sent to them some time ago. They may be dead. Just be prepared for this and don't be too disappointed.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Do you talk to your wife much, froops?
Heh. Sorry, my bad. It's been a Christmas frenzy, see.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: They may be dead. Just be prepared for this and don't be too disappointed.
Ooh! Does that mean mine is coming from Benway? Or is he no longer dead? Or does that have to wait 'til Easter?
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
Froopy actually got an email from his apologizing for the delay. I wouldn't doubt he's forgotten this too.
It’s ok, because the poor boy wrapped a gazillion presents last night and then was apparently kept from sleep by the tossing and turning of his pregnant bedmate. A little forgetfulness is forgiven.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Sorry I haven't posted here thanking Secret Santa for my poseable Paul McCartney figurine, and signed photograph of Phil Jupitus. I am a 'tard. Thanks Secret Santa!
I should also apologise to my SS recipient, as I have still little or no idea what to get them, and will have to go shopping tonight, possibly with hilarious consequences?
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by rooster: Froopy actually got an email from his apologizing for the delay. I wouldn't doubt he's forgotten this too.
It’s ok, because the poor boy wrapped a gazillion presents last night and then was apparently kept from sleep by the tossing and turning of his pregnant bedmate. A little forgetfulness is forgiven.
benway's pregnant?
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
Hello there TMO! Sorry for not posting sooner but I was in Italy and stuff. Anyway! My secret gift came in a large envelope with a printed label. Cunning.
The gift itself was a deliciously evil-looking book about a murderer. I'll be reading it over Christmas, possibly on the 10 hour drive to Aberdeen on Wednesday. This, as well as being the first gift was also the first clue. Killer. Someone who has killed, been killed or died perhaps?
The second clue was a piece of book club promotional material inside. One of the books - Inconceivable by Ben Elton - had been furiously ringed with not one but two types of pen. The work of someone who either loves or, more likely, passionately hates the chirpy "comedian".
Lastly, the envelope was post marked the Victoria area of London. Of course, tens of thousands of people work in that neighbourhood but how many who post on TMO and fulfill the criteria set above? Not many.
My guess is Dr. Benway. Firstly, he was killed off during the great North London implosion of 2003/4 and I began referring to him as Dr Benway (deceased). Does he feel I killed him off? Secondly, Stephen hates Ben Elton. But, really, that could be pretty much anyone on here. Lastly, I know where he works. Victoria.
It all fits together perrrrr-fectly. But am I correct?
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
I'm going to send my name to my secret santa with a final parting kiss / gift. and a little baggy of my own pubes.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Last I knew Benway worked on Oxford street not Victoria?
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bandy: See above...
I should probably postscript my sleuth-like effort with the fac that Scrawny took one look at the postcode and suggested Benway. I merely fluffed it out to make my post longer than my signature.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
quote:Originally posted by Physic: Last I knew Benway worked on Oxford street not Victoria?
Cuh. Get with the programme.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
That must have been a different Benway. If you come to Victoria and stand ouside the Victoria Palace, then look at the second floor of the building to your left, then you will see me, illuminated by strip lighting, with a pot plant in front of me, staring at my computer screen. And I h8 to go fucking up secret santa, but I've had nothing to do with it. Unless 'from benway' is a kind of euphamism.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
shows what I know I guess..
[ 20.12.2004, 11:47: Message edited by: Physic ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
No, I still work for 'them', but at the HQ, doing HQ things. My job is all about making quick decisions, responding to complications, developing winning strategies. And doing data entry.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
Hmm. Strokes beard. Realises has no beard. Borrows Physic's. Hmm. Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I tried to make Dnag give me a clue by threatening to come round and infect his children with my mind. Dnag wouldn't give me a clue. Bastard.
However, I am employing my cunning and much respected lateral thinking skills and will have an answer soon. Soo, I tell you.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
S&R.
Sent. And. Received. Nothin' kinky, like.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I've received fuck-all.
News has just reached me via e-sleigh that your gift is on its way and should reach you shortly.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Bandy, do you really not know who yours is from? I could tell you. Email me if you and your lovely wife cannot seriously work out this mystery! It is not that hard!! Remember though - you have to be in it to send and receive a present. That should have been your first clue that it wasn't benway. Christmas Fule!
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
Can you tell me who mine is from too then?
Derby postmark, boys writing, picture of a penis at the side of the accompanying letter. I did think Damo, but it's not. Then I thought FPP, but he's in London. Maybe he was clever and took a bus all the way to Derby to post it?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by saltrock: Can you tell me who mine is from too then?
I can't, no, but...
quote:Originally posted by saltrock: Derby postmark, boys writing
...he doesn't live in Derby, as far as I know.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Dudes, a little hint: when trying to figure out who your secret satan is try to only think of forumites who were actually taking part in secret satan If I were to guess SJ I would say that jhnoj is yours.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I wish that the people who gave / sent presents and owned up hadn't, then we could play a game where we could all try and guess who sent what to who and then the person who got the most right would win a special prize! I only wish this though because I think I would win. I have in my brain lots of useless trivia about lots of different forumites. Last night I demonstrated this by remembering the name of one of the charities that bandy donates money to on a monthly basis. So impressed by this feat of memory that he promptly poured a pint all over himself.
Louche, tell me some more about your gift, let me have a guess at who it could be!
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
There's a wee small chance that my giftee wont receive their until after Xmas. I feel like such a failure..
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I know who mine is now.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
but I don't Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
know who yours is or know who mine is? Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
yours Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: trust me my secret santa is gonna be mightily disappointed. "is this it?" is what they will scream.
That is a big lie! This is what happened when I received my gift from dr damo.
Firstly I knew instantly who it was from! Not because I am chief satan guesser (although I am) but because it came from forren and you have to write your name on it! So I take the big box into the kitchen and whilst I proceed to open it I sing a song to the cats which goes like this:
What do you get for Christ-mas, What do you get for Christ-mas, What do you get for Christ-mas, When Santa comes from Nashville?
I opened the box and inside was fake snow! which I sprinkled on the cats while singing another round of my song. Then there was bubble wrap!! which I popped in the cats ears and made them run away. Stupid cats.
Inside the bubble wrap was a novelty mug which says Christ is the answer!!! This is most excellent as I can use it when the 'rents come round and they will think that I have come back into the fold!!
Then there was a book on Cowgirls! This is most excellent, and I don't think you're meant to but I think I might colour in some of the pictures with my Crayola crayons that I keep for when Raz comes round. I will colour-in and read about cowgirls at the same time. See, education can be fun!
ALSO there was a lightswitch cover that has a picture of a lady on it and it says LA DAME which I will put on my lightswitch in my boudoir.
FINALLY and most excellently there was a skull head which when you press a button on the bottom glows red / green / blue / flashing and ROCKS SO HARD IT HURTS! When my sister sees this she will be so excited she might do a little wee.
AND there was a lovely lovely card from the good doctor himself.
Thank you so much damo!
*salutes damo* *pulls skull face at skull head*
Perhaps my sister will come to my house over the festive season with her digital camera and I can make a picture come on the internet of the skull head and the skull face. That would be skill.
[ 21.12.2004, 11:39: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I said most excellent three times in that post. So excited was I that I broke my internal lexicon!
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Woo-Hoo! Noel, c'est arrivee. Hand-delivered no less.
All the major food-groups were represented. Athletic Red Salmon says I am passionate. Satsumasan. Almond Green & Black's. A very excellent formaggi calendar. Top Trumps - Sharks! But... most excellent of all, a tough one to top for the entire gift-getting season, a Worthing seafront badge circa 1968!
I really was excited and delighted opening this, after a shitty day at work. Comedy wrapping, too.
Thanks, Santa. (DD?)
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
yes! secret santa presents delivered and liked. get in!
glad you liked them uber. i thought americana was the way to go.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Those last two were excellent. I'm going to fix it so I get Damo next year. No offense to my own mystery Santa, or any other mystery Santas, it's just that someone had to be the best of a good lot and I think it's Damo. So far. Also, "fake snow"? You did do tests I take it? I'd like to have seen that one opened by random Excise sniffer dog.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
lol - fake snow is the plastic packing stuff that you have to put in boxes and the like when you send them. I just call it fake snow as I sprinkle it on the cats as they don't know what real snow is only having seen it once briefly. But fake snow and bubble wrap is an integral part of the present for me! When London gave me my very expensive 30th birthday presents my favourite thing out of all of them was a cardboard cereal bus full of characters from the Cocoa Pops adverts. Perhaps Elvis was right and I really am a red setter?
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Thanks, Santa. (DD?)
lets look at the evidence:
SHARKS CHEESE SATSUMAS COMEDY also, SHARKS
i am disappointed by that question mark. or, shaken to my core. maybe people dont actually read my posts after all.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
I have to go and pick a package up from the post office. Perhaps this is my festive fun pack? But! I do not know where this particular office is and I am going away for a few days. I will find it when I get back! Hurrah!
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
I arrived home from work today to find a suspicious parcel in my mailbox! I was so excited that I failed to alert the proper authorities, despite that being what all alert americans are supposed to do when they encounter an unexpected package (footnote 1).
I tore it from the mailbox and ran upstairs, and burst through the door saying "rooster! rooster! lookie what i found!" (footnote 2).
A mysterious package from distant lands! What could be inside?
Gift wrapped! The note reads, 'to provide you with further insight into the UK's burgeoning peasant underclass. Enjoy! Love, Satan'.
A book! A user's guide, even!
A curious sort (in both senses), I leapt straight into the center of the book. I couldn't wait to find out what all this Burberry banter was all about!
I'm sure to learn all sorts of new things!
Thanks, dyslexic secret santa! Who, I believe, may also be known as ringo?
---
Footnote 1: After receiving several dozen notifications within the first week, this rule no longer applies to Paris Hilton.
Footnote 2: Certain sections of this paragraph may have been exaggerated for dramatic and/or comic effect. Which is to say, the entire paragraph.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
did something break ?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Either I broke teemo, or everyone else is still off in holiday-awayfromworkland.
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
I'm here, but you knew that.
I enjoyed your pictures anyway.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
I'm here, briefly, knackered after foolishly braving the bargain-hunter-crammed streets of London. Hope you all had a fine christmas, I think my liver is still trying to recover, not to mention my waistline.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
ive checked everyday and made threads. Im living this shit for real.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
I've been here the whole time, but didn't feel much like talking to myself.
Thank god for streaming radio at work though.
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
Yaaay, back at work. Listening to these fucking saffas butchering our most beautiful language! I am here thinking "I get told to fuck off X amount of times a day, with these pricks having difficulty with the pronunciation of their own name, prospective customers are should be coming up with some new more offencive responses"
Saf:- "Ulloh wid yuu loikk tu buie sum brroodbaend?"
c/m:- "Listen **** or whatever you said your name was, I still cant understand a word your saying, so why dont you cut your losses and fuck off back to Saf with your tax rebate and buy your family some running water!"
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
Wow, dont really know what to make of that. What a bizarre first post. Tom Boy is a troll, yes?
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
So now do we get to find out who our Secret Satan was? Don't make me wait, pleeeeaaaase.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
I think Tom Boy is in fact Funky Purple Pants under a new monciker:
Fact: Both work selling broadband Fact: Both are on friendly terms with Uber
So not quite a newb, but ICM5GBP
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Was funkypurplepants always that racist? Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
Didnt FPP also dislike South Africans? Tom Boy, what are your views on mobile phones and public transport?
Err, highjacking a festive thread. Not good.
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
I just read his rant and it contained glimmers of genius and stupidity in equal measure.
[ 29.12.2004, 09:57: Message edited by: Fionnula the Cooler ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: I think Tom Boy is in fact Funky Purple Pants under a new monciker:
Fact: Both work selling broadband Fact: Both are on friendly terms with Uber
So not quite a newb, but ICM5GBP
lol@factnumber2
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
quote:Originally posted by Fionnula the Cooler: Was funkypurplepants always that racist?
Boo, not fair, was only playing, all the saffas i work with have seen it, meant only in jest. sorry if any offence caused Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
btw I am FPP, had coolness issues, as well as logging problems
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
3 in a row, also would like to apologise for the thread hijack but secret satan burned my pressie so I'm bitchin
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
What do you mean by 'burned'? Were you part of the exchange and left empty handed?
Of course I realize I could answer my own question by looking back in this very thread and finding out if your name is on the list. But then again, that would take too much effort. So.
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: Were you part of the exchange and left empty handed?
no just bitchin, sorry for the mix up
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I never received a gift. Some fucking cunry got a free present without sending one themself! Or it's the fault of our prestigious postal service. Which do you think is more likely? Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
And my secret satan hasn't said whether they've got mine or not. I know it was shit, but I'm the one that should be ashamed, not them.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
On an only marginally related not I got a bunch of vouchers over xmas - good? You would think.
Not if they are for WH Smiths and Woolworths! Woolworths FFS! So we bought some lightbulbs and sweets from Woolies, then went searching the length and breadth of London for a Smiths that sold something except newspapers and crisps. We eventually found one with a small book selection, but had to use up the rest of them on cinema vouchers. And do you know what? The buggering voucher box doesn’t contain any vouchers - just an envelope that you have to send off to get the vouchers. Fack!
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I never received a gift. Some fucking cunry got a free present without sending one themself! Or it's the fault of our prestigious postal service. Which do you think is more likely?
I think the first one is more likely. I don't think your secret santa can realistically make any excuses for themself, but perhaps they've had a particularly hard time of late, possibly involving huge debts and being mugged/robbed.
This is mere speculation.
I would also say that your secret santa will most likely try and make it up to you in a big way.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
My secret satan gift (I'm guessing) is in a post office in Highbury as the bastard place appears to be CLOSED every hour I can possibly visit. However! I am going to go and pick it up on Saturday, between the hours of 8 and 12.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Yes, my recipient also hasn't said if they got their present or not. But then, they also haven't posted on the boards yet this year so perhaps they are dead. If so then it's not my fault, ok.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: Yes, my recipient also hasn't said if they got their present or not. But then, they also haven't posted on the boards yet this year so perhaps they are dead. If so then it's not my fault, ok.
I can't believe you thought that anthrax was a suitable christmas gift.
Posted by miffysocks (Member # 675) on :
Yeah i got my gift thank you, dont know what to do with all the those sweets though.
I'm sorry to who got my gift. I understand what i did was wrong and promise to go to my room and think about what i have done.
[ 10.01.2005, 10:48: Message edited by: miffysocks ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I thought it would be enough food to keep you going for a year, ungrateful wench. And I gave you my lovely sequinned boob tube too. Cowbag.
eta: cowbag? wtf did that insult come from? how rubbish! I shall leave it in as a reminder never to use it again.
[ 10.01.2005, 17:14: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Miffy?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: eta: cowbag? wtf did that insult come from? how rubbish! I shall leave it in as a reminder never to use it again.
Newsflash!
Uber insult an udder failure!
Posted by Gemini (Member # 428) on :
An Apology
I've just realised I never posted on this thread to say thank you for my Secret Santa present, it was very very cool and has been much used and admired!
I never worked out who sent it, but thank you!
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Gemini: thank you for my Secret Santa present, it was very very cool and has been much used and admired!
Was it the Dorling Kindersley Eyewitness Guide to Oral Sex?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Was it the Dorling Kindersley Eyewitness Guide to Oral Sex?
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
- so if anyone else wants to post saying, "I didn't get Dang" then they might start to think it's true.![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
