It has been my understanding through life that there are certain 'rules' which we are encouraged to live by:
For instance it is considered very bad form to start seeing your best friends boyfriend shortly after they have split up (something my best friend seems blissfully ignorant over). Also I have known male friends who have had a rule that they would never date each others sisters?
Are there any 'unwritten rules' that you apply to your life?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Don't put anything in your **** that you wouldn't put in your mouth.
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
No sex with friends.
Always stood me in good stead that one, though you don't get to avoid being piggy in the middle to those friends who don't adhere to that rule.
Posted by My Name Is Joe (Member # 530) on :
Once a mate has slept with or 'gone steady' with someone, that person is forever off limits. This rule that must adhered to in order to preserve friendships, I feel.
Always buy your round, even if it's a 25 quid monster and you're about to leave.
Always make sure the drunkest person in a group gets home, or at least into a taxi.
There are others I'm sure, but these are the most prominent 'social rules' that come to mind.
Edit: The people I hang around with have always considered sisters (adult ones anyway...) to be fair game, and I went out with a mate's sister once. Actually I've always thought brothers who get jealous of their sister's boyfriends to be a bit creepy.
[ 07.12.2004, 07:28: Message edited by: My Name Is Joe ]
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by My Name Is Joe: I've always thought brothers who get jealous of their sister's boyfriends to be a bit creepy.
Jealous implies that the brother has incestuous feelings for his sister so yeah that'd be damn creepy, but the reason I've always believed in the whole friends' sisters being out of bounds rule is because the idea of a mate and your sister getting it on is just too weird, and if the relationship ends badly you're likely to wind up the piggy in the middle..
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: Don't put anything in your **** that you wouldn't put in your mouth.
I'd put a sandwich in my mouth but I don't think I'd put one in my **** even if I had one.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Don't put anything in your mouth that you wouldn't put up your arse.
Posted by My Name Is Joe (Member # 530) on :
quote:Originally posted by Physic: Jealous implies that the brother has incestuous feelings for his sister so yeah that'd be damn creepy, but the reason I've always believed in the whole friends' sisters being out of bounds rule is because the idea of a mate and your sister getting it on is just too weird, and if the relationship ends badly you're likely to wind up the piggy in the middle..
To be fair I don't actually have a sister, so maybe I don't get it the way those with sisters do.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by Neurotic Cat: Also I have known male friends who have had a rule that they would never date each others sisters?
Lol. One of my mates married mine.
Their beginning made for some comic awkwardness on his part. When he was first trying to go about asking her out he was so nervous about it he asked us both to the cinema. He's 6'2", and was about 27 at the time.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
But I didn't say put everything that you put in your mouth in your ****! Mind you, you live in amsterdam right, ladies put strange things in their ****'s there for money don't they. I can understand why you might be confused.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Their beginning made for some comic awkwardness on his part. When he was first trying to go about asking her out he was so nervous about it he asked us both to the cinema. He's 6'2", and was about 27 at the time.
And she was..? Where did he take her, to see the Care Bears Movie?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
your best friend sounds like a right **** , NC.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: And she was..?
Short and 24. I meant that he was sufficiently grown to not be quite so nervous.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
will work on that one...
[ 07.12.2004, 08:10: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
It's ok to sleep with your mate's sister, but not in his bed. I learnt this one the hard way.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
1.) Don't treat people in a way you don't want to be treated.
2.) Do as you would be done by.
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
quote:Originally posted by My Name Is Joe:
quote:Originally posted by Physic: Jealous implies that the brother has incestuous feelings for his sister so yeah that'd be damn creepy, but the reason I've always believed in the whole friends' sisters being out of bounds rule is because the idea of a mate and your sister getting it on is just too weird, and if the relationship ends badly you're likely to wind up the piggy in the middle..
To be fair I don't actually have a sister, so maybe I don't get it the way those with sisters do.
Does this rule not apply equally to brothers? Shouldn't I feel over-protective of my male sibling, and threaten any randy female friends who threaten to carry him off to their evil boudoirs?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I always had a crush on SG5's utterly beautiful younger sister, but never followed it up. I'd like to suggest this is out of a sense of moral propriety and an unwillingness to risk a valuable friendship, but the truth is she wouldn't sleep with me in a million years. Otherwise I'd be up there like a rat up a drainpipe. Fuck friendship.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
This one time, as a youngster, I slept with my friend and then a week later slept with her sister, who had recently split from another friend. It's okay to do that when you're a kid though. Not when you're an adult.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Especially not with children. That's definitely frowned upon, though it's more of a 'written' rule then an 'unwritten' one.
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
I remember being at a Christmas pub quiz with my family some years ago. The evening was a bit strained, punctuated as it was by sundry petty arguments with my younger brother about anything either of us could think of to disagree about. On our way out of the pub at the end of the night, I was accosted by local wrong'un Tarzan Jim. He drew my attention to the piece of misteltoe hanging overhead and, before I had a chance to so much as wail "jesus god no", I was enveloped in a whisky and pipesmoke fug as he planted a scratchy-beard smacker right on my mouth. Mum and Dad were already out of the door but I turned around to find my 13 year old brother suddenly incandescent with red-faced fury, yelling "GET OFF MY SISTER". I thought that was really sweet: of course, we fought all the way home in the car, and for much of the next 5 years in fact, but it showed he cared.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Christ, you'd get in to loads of trouble if you carried on like that with children. Saying that though, doesn't Peter 'Jesus' Stringfellow reguarly bed girls of 16?
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
x
[ 08.12.2004, 07:05: Message edited by: Raz ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
xx
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Saying that though, doesn't Peter 'Jesus' Stringfellow reguarly bed girls of 16?
That's allowed, though isn't it. 16 year olds have been branded "fuckable" by our moral guardians and you can cheerfully indulge in state-endorsed sex with them as much and as often as you see fit.
Speaking of which - I was watching my school production of Bugsy Malone, from when I was 15. The girl who played Tallulah was well fit, and I went into a slightly bad taste reverie about how goddamn fit she was, and remembered fondly the time she got drunk on Diamond White at a party and I snogged her in the queue for the toilet. What are the rules on fancying 27 yeat old girls from when they were 15, as long as you were 15 at the time? Are we allowed to fantasise about early encounters with girls as young as 13, or would it be better to purge the sexual memory completely and replace it with over 18s only?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I've never understood how it is that you can have sex at 16 but have to be 18 to watch someone else having sex on film.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
One of my people with learning difficulties once opened up his briefcase and proudly showed me his porn video that he had bought at the market and said "But what I don't understand Lisa, is why anyone would let themselves be filmed making love?" I struggled to keep a straight face while I replied "Well Stephen, some people just like that kind of thing." He then went on to show me all the condoms he had, but reassured me that I didn't need to worry because he was "still a vegan." Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Ahh, bless Benway.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Because I was busy thinking of an image of Benway with a suitcase full of porn and condoms lining his watch salesmen jacket, I wrote ‘Thank you for your e-mail regarding Benway’ and only just spotted it before I clicked on ‘send’
:few!:
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I've never understood how it is that you can have sex at 16 but have to be 18 to watch someone else having sex on film.
Presumably, you couldn't even watch yourself having sex. Assuming that you'd managed to get the scenes rated by the BBFC for distribution. Not that I'd want to watch myself having sex. In fact, that would be be horrendous.
[ 08.12.2004, 08:57: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by funkypurplepants (Member # 746) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Don't put anything in your mouth that you wouldn't put up your arse.
dont put anything in your mouth that you wouldnt like coming out of your arse
Posted by funkypurplepants (Member # 746) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: your best friend sounds like a right **** , NC.
dont put your best freinds in your **** , parts of them maybe, but not the whole lot
Posted by funkypurplepants (Member # 746) on :
my sister once said to me "oh why dont you just go out with someone nice, like Jenny." jenny is a freind of my sister who is the sister of a freind of mine that i used to play in a school band with, i said it would be far too weird, now sex starved and desperate, she is gorgeous and i would at the drop of a hat (as long as it took a week for the hat to hit the floor[anyone who read the sex and relationships thread will understand])
[ 08.12.2004, 09:24: Message edited by: funkypurplepants ]
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
most importantly
don't wear white after labour day.
[ 09.12.2004, 04:48: Message edited by: Grianagh ]
Posted by Helen Back (Member # 649) on :
never sell your car to someone you know.
never discuss on forums having sex with animals.
Posted by funkypurplepants (Member # 746) on :
dont have sex with a freind who's boyfreind is next door having a bath and their daughter is in bed 2 rooms away, even with the boyfreinds consent and blessing.
Posted by miffysocks (Member # 675) on :
Never let your parents and your bf/gf's parents meet, not even for a second
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Never let your parents and your bf/gf's parents meet, not even for a second
This sounds like the hilarious tagline for the Coupling wedding.
quote: CARTOON DOG FACE: Geoff, you've got to keep Susan's mum away from my father.
GEOFF: How.
CDF: I don't know, imagine her in her underwear.
GEOFF: Huh huh huh. Nipples.
CDF: Of the many sickening images you've forced into my brain over the years, Geoff, that could be the most revolting.
GEOFF: My God, your dad's hung like a great big donkey with dreadlocks.
CDF: No, no, you're right; it was the second most revolting image. Look, just don't let Susan's mum come….
GEOFF: Mmm "cum"!
CDF: …into contact
GEOFF: Mmm "contact"!
CDF: With my father.
GEOFF: Mmmm "father!"
CDF: What?
GEOFF: Sorry, force of habit, boyo.
CDF: You just need to keep them apart. OK?
GEOFF: Why?
CDF: Because it's one of the unwritten rules. Can you remember that?
GEOFF: I think I better write it down.
CDF: You don't need to write it down because it's unwritten! If you write it down it will be a written rule, right?
GEOFF: I can't write I haven't got a pencil.
CDF: Oh just remember it, you dithering Welsh one-trick pony.
GEOFF: Mmmm "pony!"
AND FURTHER MIRTH
[ 09.12.2004, 05:30: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by turbo (Member # 593) on :
Never go to bed without drinking a pint of water after a heavy drinking session.
Don't criticise the bloke your friend's having a fling with - he might end up being her boyfriend/husband and she will never forget what you said about him.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
er if ever im the person in any of the above situations that has to be slept with - IGNORE THE RULES.
thanks.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by funkypurplepants: dont have sex with a freind who's boyfreind is next door having a bath and their daughter is in bed 2 rooms away, even with the boyfreinds consent and blessing.
Is this something that really happened to you (kind of the subtext of a lot of these contributions) - or just something you think is generally unwise?
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Perhaps you were the boyfreind or daughter?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
If a friend/flatmate breaks up with their partner dont say "I never liked her anyway" untill you are really sure they wont get back together. Even if everybody else has already said it.
Posted by funkypurplepants (Member # 746) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben:
quote:Originally posted by funkypurplepants: dont have sex with a freind who's boyfreind is next door having a bath and their daughter is in bed 2 rooms away, even with the boyfreinds consent and blessing.
Is this something that really happened to you (kind of the subtext of a lot of these contributions) - or just something you think is generally unwise?
this is actually an offer i received, this german woman named regina was renting a room in my mums house for a few years while i was still at school (14-16) and she always had a thing for me, now she's not what i would call stunning. basically she got together with this guy who was quiote an easy going fella, she explained to him that she had always had a thing for me so he gave his blessing, or said yeah fuck him or however their conversation went. she invited me over for dinner and while it was cooking gave me a massage, her bloke was having a bath, and the kid was in bed, she basically got quite turned on giving me this massage, took my hand and introduced it to her (umm political correctness search) fanny? I was like hell this isnt right, and she went on to tell me that her and bloke had spoken and he was cool with it. Yeah but im not says i! so that was the end of that... or so i thought. Later they invited me to stay, hell alright things done finished. but then they put on some porn and she gets into bed with me (bloke is on the floor) and starts rubbing my leg... gotta go
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
quote:Originally posted by turbo: Never go to bed without drinking a pint of water after a heavy drinking session.
Too true. But also don't kid yourself that this is going to prevent you from looking and feeling like crap the following morning. Unless you're under 21.
Neither is milk thistle, aspirin, a hair of the dog, expensive moisturiser or a fry up.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
however taking a couple of codeine and not putting your contact lenses in will.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Two pints of water is more likely to work, and you can use the point in the early hours when your bladder forces you out of bed to knock back a couple of ibuprofen.
Posted by Flowerpot (Member # 761) on :
Never date anyone you work closely with.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Never turn down the opportunity to go to the loo.
Never eat yellow snow.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Alcoholics! Ease the daily blight of violent hangovers by mixing sugar and salt into your pre-bed pint of water. The sugar will help to replenish the energy lost through alcohol processing, and the salt will aid re-hydration of the brain.
[ 09.12.2004, 09:43: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Never turn down the opportunity to go to the loo.
This will be my epitaph.
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Alcoholics! Ease the daily blight of violent hangovers by mixing sugar and salt into your pre-bed pint of water. The sugar will help to replenish the energy lost through alcohol processing, and the salt will aid re-hydration of the brain.
I do believe that this is exactly the electrolyte rehydration mixture that is recommended for the treatment of dysentry by the World Health Organisation.
Bear this in mind when you hover by the mystery punchbowl/Liebfraumilch supplies at the office party.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
The office party was last week. I was covering the phones. But it does work, that little trick. Provided you're just marginally pissed rather than totally shitted.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by OJ:
quote:Originally posted by turbo: Never go to bed without drinking a pint of water after a heavy drinking session.
Too true. But also don't kid yourself that this is going to prevent you from looking and feeling like crap the following morning. Unless you're under 21.
Neither is milk thistle, aspirin, a hair of the dog, expensive moisturiser or a fry up.
Hair of the dog doesn't make you feel better - it makes you feel drunker... which is as similar to better as makes no odds.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
STRICTLY BUSINESS: Want to be friendly but not flirty while at work? Avoid double entendres or off-colour comments. And don’t touch people to make a point! Posted by funkypurplepants (Member # 746) on :
yeah anyway shes having a wank an i am feeling extremely weird situation. bloke says so are you gonna shag her or what? err no thanks mate, so she gets down and they start shagging on the floor, while i am there tryin to ignore them, the film and my discomfort.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
That kind of thing rarely happens in reality. A memory to cherish.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
Never pet a burning dog.
Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
Don't take too much (one pill a day if that!) sudofen and definitely dont take with beer. My eyes start watering, my throat closes up and my heart rate gets a lot quicker. and you spaz out a bit. its fucking horrible.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Never play cards with a man called Doc.
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
when you're pissed, under no circumstances should you try to blow your nose while wiping your arse.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Don't go to office christmas parties. Don't drink sambuca shots. But if you should do those things then make sure that you force all your colleagues to stand in a circle on the dance floor while pushing random people in the middle to dance to Vogue for your drunken amusement.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by funkypurplepants:
quote:Originally posted by ben:
quote:Originally posted by funkypurplepants: dont have sex with a freind who's boyfreind is next door having a bath and their daughter is in bed 2 rooms away, even with the boyfreinds consent and blessing.
Is this something that really happened to you (kind of the subtext of a lot of these contributions) - or just something you think is generally unwise?
this is actually an offer i received, this german woman named regina was renting a room in my mums house for a few years while i was still at school (14-16) and she always had a thing for me, now she's not what i would call stunning. basically she got together with this guy who was quiote an easy going fella, she explained to him that she had always had a thing for me so he gave his blessing, or said yeah fuck him or however their conversation went. she invited me over for dinner and while it was cooking gave me a massage, her bloke was having a bath, and the kid was in bed, she basically got quite turned on giving me this massage, took my hand and introduced it to her (umm political correctness search) fanny? I was like hell this isnt right, and she went on to tell me that her and bloke had spoken and he was cool with it. Yeah but im not says i! so that was the end of that... or so i thought. Later they invited me to stay, hell alright things done finished. but then they put on some porn and she gets into bed with me (bloke is on the floor) and starts rubbing my leg... gotta go
Maybe she thought you were mentally ill?
Posted by funkypurplepants (Member # 746) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask:
quote:Maybe she thought you were mentally ill?
she lived with me long enough for there to be no confusion about the matter
Posted by funkypurplepants (Member # 746) on :
back to the point, dont smoke a spliff while drunk. drinking while stoned is fine, the other way round leads to spinning surroundings and sick
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
There is an office party going on right now. There is no alcohol. We are not allowed to drink for eight hours before our shifts.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
At least you can smoke all the spliffs you want without fear of vomitus.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: There is an office party going on right now. There is no alcohol. We are not allowed to drink for eight hours before our shifts.
That's the drawback of being an AA counsellor.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
My hangover is still so severe I have only managed to eat two cupasoups and one and a half mini muffins all day. Now I want to eat but that involves going outside and buying stuff. So I'm still sitting at my desk shivering, feeling cold, hungry and miserable. Actually, not that miserable. Just tired. I had 3 hours sleep and woke up at ten past nine still drunk and clutching my mobile phone in one hand the the publications manager in the other. Little bits of fake parsley from my cupasoup keep getting stuck on the back of my throat forcing me to have to do little catfurball removal type manoeuvres. My work colleagues keep walking past and laughing at me. We just watched the video and looked at photos of last night. It was hideous.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
A work colleague just bought me over a cup of tea. I almost wept.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: A work colleague just bought me over a cup of tea. I almost wept.
Would you rather he had bought the cup of tea instead?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I don't understand froopy, what do you mean? What did I say? I would rather he had bought me a mcdonalds or a steak or something tbh but the tea was a good start.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Lol. It's called fun with prepositions. Yanks don't really 'get' prepositions. I think they'd like to do away with them altogether.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
o hang on, I think I get it now.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: A work colleague just bought me over a cup of tea.
I think the confusion came about when you missed an r.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
O ok. Told you I was special today.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Sorry. Just amusing myself, really. Which is probably cruel to do at the expense of a hungover person. Sorry Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Incidentally, how much did he pay?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
Mind you, you live in amsterdam right, ladies put strange things in their ****'s there for money don't they. I can understand why you might be confused.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)