apparently one of the findings of this programme was that men actually prefer sausages to women. i dont have access to the statistics, im afraid, because i doubt that there are any statistics, because its a stupid programme about comfort food, where i bet they didnt even have a box for 'do you know what? i think i like both equally, because they are so great'. nor one for 'I AM A VEGAN POOVE.' thus skewing the results. and so those being questioned were forced to make a choice, as if at gunpoint. but you know, its an intriguing concept. do men really prefer sausages to women?
MEN. WHICH DO YOU PREFER. SAUSAGES OR WOMEN
i am not a man. i cannot answer. even if the question was open to wumminz, i would pretend i could not answer, because ive never met a sauasage i didnt like.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I'd never really thought about this before, good question. I'd say I prefer women.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
This is a no-brainer. I would choose a woman. A sausage is just a sausage, but a woman can cook them for you.
[ 24.10.2005, 10:12: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
Definitely women, but it was touch and go for a while:
Do you know hopw difficult is is to get these columns to line up properly? Pfft.
[ 24.10.2005, 10:20: Message edited by: Doctor Agamemnon When ]
Posted by Vanilla Online Persona (Member # 301) on :
I have a lovely Delia recipe for venison sausages in mustard which is miles better than any woman in mustard sauce. Personally I like me wimmen drizzled in honey but hay ho, like sossies, the trick is not to prick them until they've been well done on one side.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
quote:Originally posted by Doctor Agamemnon When: Freezability............9/10........5/10
LOL
I would need more information before deciding. For example, are they pork sausages or beef? Or those little chicken chipolatas? Are they tesco value sausages or waitrose cumbrian, free-range, herb enfused middle class sausages*? Do I get to have them with mash? Or even mash and that red onion marmalade.
Actually it doesn't really matter. Women win. Damn them and their cunning womanly ways!!!@!
*not made of middle class people
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
A Porkinson's banger is pretty special but you can't buy women in Waitrose.
Not yet anyway.
[ 24.10.2005, 10:31: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
I can't answer because I'm a woman (are you letting sausages answer this question though? are you? are you? hmm?)
But as it so happens there was a trayful of cooked sausages (assorted flavours) at work this morning. (It's national sausage day or something it'll be national toilet paper day tomorrow and then they'll be sorry.) A man I work with spent a good few minutes trying to convince me of the many virtues of different varieties, seemingly unable to hear the words "But I don't want a sausage, thank you"
So there you have it: anecdotal evidence. Of what, I'm not sure. But in a world that has spawned both National Sausage Week and Christine Hamilton, I hardly think anything matters anymore.
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
x double posting. The sausage did it.
[ 24.10.2005, 10:46: Message edited by: OJ ]
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Sausages - Saveloy to be precise, they're like fricking heroin to me, I just can't say no.
If I still lived in the UK I'd eat one every day.
But here they are a once in a blue moon treat as the Amsterdam chippy has trouble getting them in.
Where can you buy them if not a chip shop ? 've never seen them in Tescos yet they must be available somewhere - I need a dealer man, I need my fix.
I'd be all like Ewan in Trainspotting diving into a filthy chip shop to get me a Saveloy, oh boy I'm hungry now.
[ 24.10.2005, 10:51: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by OJ:
Ooooh, that's nasty, and not in a good way.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Thanks OJ. Now I've been put off women and sausages.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
what the fuck are you talking about? those sausages look so good, im not even looking at the hellion holding them. that mash looks well creamy and soft.
i havent had lunch yet.
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Where can you buy them if not a chip shop ? 've never seen them in Tescos yet they must be available somewhere - I need a dealer man, I need my fix.
That mash looks like a half and half made with spuds and swede, a knob of butter and a couple of spoonfuls of double cream, plenty of black pepper and a pinch of sea salt garnished with a sprig of rosemary.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: those sausages look so good, im not even looking at the hellion holding them.
Her face alone is enough to make me believe that those sausages should be candyfloss pink and straight and that her decaying aura is making them brown and gnarled. Like a creature of supernatural evil would make flowers wither and die in seconds, Mrs Hamilton would make your sausages go rank on the spot. Green eggs and ham? Not before you arrived Christina love.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
Doesn't this girl look like she is made of saveloys?
pink like a piggy
[ 24.10.2005, 11:13: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by pettibone (Member # 838) on :
That mash looks revolting. Those sausages look like they're alive and making birdnoises, turning their little heads around in anticipation of either being eaten or getting a blowjob.
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
Hideous earrings too. Christ, what was she thinking when she got dressed that morning?!
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
quote:Originally posted by saltrock: Hideous earrings too. Christ, what was she thinking when she got dressed that morning?!
"Mmm... free sausages today!"
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
quote:Originally posted by saltrock: Hideous earrings too. Christ, what was she thinking when she got dressed that morning?!
Want to know what she was thinking? Read her website.
I'll just sit here and watch as civilisation crumbles into the sea/a giant vat of MSG. As you were.
ps. dance margarita, Darryn have a sandwich then look again. That's clearly Smash cut with wallpaper paste.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Sausages. Because it just isn't cricket to batter a woman.
Sorry.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Games of 'hide the sausage' are much less fun with a sausage, ironically.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Roy: Sausages. Because it just isn't cricket to batter a woman.
Oh Roy. Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
*throws keyboard in bin. Gives harddrive to passing tramp. Wanders off, never to be seen again*
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
lol!
Whilst googling sausages, I found a picture of these 'chinese sausages' Presumably they double up as a pair of nunchaku when cooked in case chefs have to kick a complaining customers ass.
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
quote:Originally posted by saltrock: Read her website.
quote:"crispy hard exterior and soft squishy succulent middle"
That's ME she's talking about!
Posted by statist (Member # 806) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: MEN. WHICH DO YOU PREFER. SAUSAGES OR WOMEN
Whenever I hear questions like this I wonder what would happen if you took all the nouns in the world/language and paired them against each other. Loads of heats in the first round with people voting for their favourite of two (probably) unrelated things. Like Wimbledon or the World Cup after the group bit. The winner of each round would go on to then next, meeting stiffer and stiffer opposition. Quarter-finals...semi-finals...Final. I wonder what would be the winner. The public's favourite thing. They could have a program about it on Channel 4. Or probably a long and unbearable series of programs. Still, doesn't stop me wondering. On occasion.
Posted by statist (Member # 806) on :
quote:Originally posted by Doctor Agamemnon When:
quote:"crispy hard exterior and soft squishy succulent middle"
That's ME she's talking about!
Dime bar? Well, almost.
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
quote:Originally posted by statist: I wonder what would be the winner. The public's favourite thing.
Wanking!
Or is that just me?
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Increasingly, I find myself brooding on the question of why 99.9r% of the havoc and shame in the world is the work of men. Individual acts of violence or repression are usually directed at other men but very often at women and children too. This all being the case, it's probably a good idea to draw up an index of things likely to drive men to evil deeds (alternatively, things most likely to be cited as the excuse or 'reason').
A rough working through of this surely imperative but oddly neglected task reveals that women feature pretty high up in the ranking while sausages barely register at all. Come to think of it, I cannot recall a single case of a sausage being the cause of a blood-feud, much less an instance of a delusional sausage providing an alibi or blow-job for its mass murdering spouse.
Therefore: sausages pwn women.
[ 25.10.2005, 05:08: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by pettibone (Member # 838) on :
On the surface ben is not wrong, but a sausage is not as homogenous an entity as you might think.(Insert the obvious joke.)
There is a thing called Teh Sausage Continuum and it goes more or less like this: sausage/owner of sausage factory/animals/owner of animals/owner of land on which the animals live under appaling circumstances untill they become part of a sausage/insurance company insuring several things any of the above need insured/utility company/etc.(In countries where they don't use pigs in sausages there's also often the matter of water.) This list can be as diverse and detailed as you like.
My point is that almost any part of teh sausage continuum can be a reason for men to argue, fight, wage war and slay. So ben is still not wrong, but the percentage needs changing.
[ 25.10.2005, 05:38: Message edited by: pettibone ]
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
Women - sausages are rubbish.
Posted by Stefanos (Member # 53) on :
DP
[ 25.10.2005, 14:08: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
Posted by Stefanos (Member # 53) on :
quote:Originally posted by pettibone: My point is that almost any part of teh sausage continuum can be a reason for men to argue, fight, wage war and slay. So ben is still not wrong, but the percentage needs changing.
So you can relate everything to sausages in the end? Sounds like it could be an idea for a fred the way things are going...
BTW - Did I ever tell you about Lucanian sausages?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Stefanos: BTW - Did I ever tell you about Lucanian sausages?
Is that the sausage that was brought back to Rome by soldiers who had served in Lucania (located in the heel of southern Italy) around 200 B.C.?
ETA: God, I could talk about the wonders of ancient Rome all day.
[ 25.10.2005, 14:28: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by pettibone (Member # 838) on :
quote:Originally posted by Stefanos:
quote:Originally posted by pettibone: My point is that almost any part of teh sausage continuum can be a reason for men to argue, fight, wage war and slay. So ben is still not wrong, but the percentage needs changing.
So you can relate everything to sausages in the end? Sounds like it could be an idea for a fred the way things are going...
BTW - Did I ever tell you about Lucanian sausages?
Not everything can be related to sausages. I meant it as a reaction to ben's post about how it's almost always cherchez la femme and almost never cherchez le saucisson.
No, you never told me about Lucanian sausages. Is it a latifundial kind of sausage?
Posted by Stefanos (Member # 53) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Is that the sausage that was brought back to Rome by soldiers who had served in Lucania (located in the heel of southern Italy) around 200 B.C.?
ETA: God, I could talk about the wonders of ancient Rome all day.
Shhh! You'll end up regretting at least two of those statements. I mentioned the R*mans earlier, but I think I got away with it.
Can you do a decent Jimmy Cagney impersonation?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Stefanos: Shhh! You'll end up regretting at least two of those statements. I mentioned the R*mans earlier, but I think I got away with it.
Can you do a decent Jimmy Cagney impersonation?
Regret? Who in their right mind wouldn't want to spend the day talking about ancient Rome?
I do a fair Cagney impression. Why do you ask?
Posted by pettibone (Member # 838) on :
ralph, is there a heel of middle- and/or northern Italy?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by pettibone: ralph, is there a heel of middle- and/or northern Italy?
I see where you're going with this. Posted by pettibone (Member # 838) on :
Oh ralph. Don't be afraid. I can see why you'd expect the worst, but I'm not like that. To prove this I will not make any of the obvious jokes.
Posted by Stefanos (Member # 53) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Who in their right mind wouldn't want to spend the day talking about ancient Rome?
Very good. Very good. Eh? Eh? Eh?
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
[ 25.10.2005, 14:57: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Stefanos: A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)