[ 19.09.2006, 13:55: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
That was ace! The assault on Media Junkies was best.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
hmmmmm, what made you screen grab that Fionnula or should I say oftenpbvfiesta ??
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: hmmmmm, what made you screen grab that Fionnula or should I say oftenpbvfiesta ??
YES DARRYN IT WAS ME.
Or: I figured you were bound to delete it all and I thought that was a shame because it made me do a little smile and it occurred to me that your act of deleting it all would be like deleting potential smiles from the faces of tens of other unknowing forumites which seemed a sad thing to do and so I took a little photograph just to prove that the cute little spammer ever existed.
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Do you think 'old black women' porn really exists? I should have clicked on the link. Now I can't, BECAUSE DARRYN MURDERED THE SPAMMER.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
I killed the spammer, bad me..
Old Black Women... That's one hell of a search term isn't it..
I wonnder how much of a market there is for that sort of thing ?
quote:I figured you were bound to delete it all and I thought that was a shame because it made me do a little smile and it occurred to me that your act of deleting it all would be like deleting potential smiles from the faces of tens of other unknowing forumites which seemed a sad thing to do and so I took a little photograph just to prove that the cute little spammer ever existed.
Bless Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
lol! I was like ready to ask Mart to break out Larry Fordfiesta.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Geoff T from Age of Chance just gave me permission to use a sample I stole for Punch Your Way Into Heaven. I am chuffetyfuck.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I am spitting blood.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Is that coincidental or do you hate Age of Chance?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Purely coincidental and utterly literal. I've stopped doing it now, though.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Thanks for listening, TMO!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
My eyeballs are hanging out of my head Louche. They are solid. It feels like they are rubber balls inside two powdered sockets. I would :weep: if they didn't hurt so much.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Are they bobbing gently against your cheekbones so all you can see is the floor?
I am having exciting adventures in pharmaceuticals. Today I am wondering if paramol and cuprofen will kill me if combined.
I will keep you updated.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Surely you can only update if you are not dead? I'll assume if you're posting that you are still alive.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Oh, that was rather flawed logic, wasn't it? Still not dead, though.
My boss must think I'm a right work shy fuck this year.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Why? Did he just find you hiding under your desk, Newt-style?
nobody calls me Susan, except for my brother Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I'm on the sick again. I've been a most dreadful skiver this year. I'll be claiming incapacity benefit in a bit, living in Hulme and being pestered by Job Centre Plus. Or something.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Spiiting up blood can't be good though, can it? What exactly have you been diagnosed with, Louche?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Spiiting up blood can't be good though, can it? What exactly have you been diagnosed with, Louche?
Where have you been? Everyone knows Louche is dying from melancholy.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Where have you been? Everyone knows Louche is dying from melancholy.
I knew that. I just had no idea that one of the symptoms was spitting up blood. I'm not a doctor.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
How come both today's active threads have become about Louche's puke? If we had proper organised moderation, like on Barbelith, we could put in a request to have them consolidated into one thread and moved to the Vomiting: the Externalisation of the Self forum.
Anyway.
I expected to be sick last night, as I had some seriously rancid chicken. It'd been open for about a week, and was stinking out the whole fridge with this awful stench. When I chopped it up, I realised it'd gone green. Still, I fried and ate it anyway, just to see what would happen. Guffs are coming out a bit smellier than usual, but other than that I reckon I've conquered it.
[ 20.09.2006, 07:37: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Keep up the posting Thorn, I want to see you slowly deteriate throughout the day until finally you stop and Black Mask posts a bbc link to an article called 'Rotten chicken meat eats journalists intestines - Bernard Matthews arrested'
In other news, a local club/venue is getting flack from disgruntled punters and I posed as the club manager on the local music forum and claimed 'myspace is a fad' alongside the beatles. Humourless debating ensued.
[ 20.09.2006, 07:33: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Technically, this one's only about the blood. A subtle but important distinction, I feel.
Most forms of food poisoning take over 24 hours to develop. What time did you eat last night, Fawn?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Ate at about 6.30.
I thought it developed within 24 hours? I mean, it'll be out of my system by 6.30 tonight. We'll see, anyway. I reckon I've got a good chance of winning against the chicken. I'm in better health than I have been for years, and I haven't had food poisoning for about a decade. Maybe people should place bets? On the chicken's form card it should be noted it really was very green, and really did smell quite awful.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
It's all very subjective though, isn't it? I'd normally favour the chicken in a bout like this but we've only got your word that it was green and smelly when, actually, it could have just been slightly grey and a bit gamey.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I thought it developed within 24 hours?
Actually, I have no idea, I just wanted to scare you a bit. I like the idea of you at your desk, twitching a bit everytime your stomach rumbles.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Well done! You've reminded me of the most awful sight the other day when I was in Earls Court. There was a lady, a tramp (that wasn't the awful bit) who was kipping outside the supermarket. It was a big waitrose and I went inside to purchase some form of yummy treat for having to work on a Saturday.
Now on my way out I walked back past the lady tramp who had woken up and started her days begging. Now....surely being a tramp and being dirty and homeless would be a good way to garner sympathy, but no, she had gone one better. I'm sure I've told this story haven't I? Anyway, she put a sub sandwich on the little bit of card that was 'Hungry! Homeless! I even ate my black marker pen!'
The sandwich was BRIGHT GREEN. Not miscoloured or moudly in some places but actually fucking lime green. No maybe brighter. It must have been preserved to go mouldy, like stuck straight on a heater or something.
It put me off my food. I actually felt like I was going to throw up and what must be deadly spores flew up my nose with the wind. I started to panic in a kind of 'oh no I have smelt all that poison and it is getting into my bloodstream' and it took me ages of solid mental power to enjoy my curry.
I actually feel sick now just remembering it.
[ 20.09.2006, 08:04: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
My mum said it was within 7 hours.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I can confirm that the fridge smelt "wrong".
I think regardless of whether man conquers chicken, the ensuing bowel movement will be a violation of my human rights if I'm anywhere in the vicinity (ie in the flat).
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
lol @ the thought of Vogons budgie falling off its perch as being the first sign of 'chemical attack'
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Most cases of food poisoning take between 12-48 hours to develop and symptoms come on suddenly.
You've got until Thursday evening.
[ 20.09.2006, 08:11: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Actually, starting to feel a bit queasy now and I'm getting wierd shivery cold/hot flushes.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
That's how it begins. Sorry. Sounds like you're in for a rough ride.
I knew I should have bet on the chicken...
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
It's not over til it's over. I've still got a few moves up my sleeve. (taking a massive shit; er... that's it I think.)
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I think Thorn's faking it. Like he said he would if he ever did a drug trial.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: (that's it I think.)
No way man, you've still got eradicating every ounce of fluid in your body via your pores, turning up your body temperature twicefold and the hallucinating sound of VPs door slamming in spring reverb as she tries to drown out your tearful, delirious sobs.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Food poisoning from off chicken is one of the best kinds! If you're lucky, you might be able to spew and have diarrhoea at the same time. This is best achieved in a bathroom which has a toilet within spitting distance of the sink. Or if you really want to let go, just strip off and get in the shower...
[ 20.09.2006, 10:33: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Stomach's starting to feel really heavy and bloated now, and there's a kind of icy sensation spreading across my skin like cracks in glass.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I wish Thorn had a webcam.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I think we'd all feel a little bit rotten if Thorn actually died from this.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Don't be ridiculous. You can't die from being poisoned.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: You can't die from being poisoned.
My father once said the same thing. Right before he died. From being poisoned.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Did you poison him ralph?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
My dad's still alive man. I was only kidding.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: My dad's still alive man. .
Hah! See? Precisely my point.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
quote:Originally posted by ralph: My dad's still alive man. .
Hah! See? Precisely my point.
If your point was that you can't die from being poisoned if you don't actually consume any posion.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
My RE teacher at school got food poisoning and was really ill and had to walk with a stick afterwards. I'm not sure how the stick was related, but it was. In some way.
If it makes you feel any better Thorn, I've been doing more blood spitting. I have opted for less red general food products today to lessen the possibility of a repeat of the burgundy sick.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: My dad's still alive man. I was only kidding.
That's the kind of humor that was on display daily at the 1970s punch-card IT office until the day ralph went one step too far and accidentally on purpose knocked the computer program punch-cards out of his boss' hands. After that sorry day the laughter died.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bandy: That's the kind of humor that was on display daily at the 1970s punch-card IT office
It was 1980. Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: If you're lucky, you might be able to spew and have diarrhoea at the same time. This is best achieved in a bathroom which has a toilet within spitting distance of the sink.
I had this once when working in Scotland, it was like an episode of South Park, sitting venting my colon into the loo whilst puking directly into the bathtab for a good hour..
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Back to the spammer for a second, it's a spambot ! We got another registration today with an almost identical email address and username..
69.31.41.50 which is registerd to Pilosoft inc which it seems is pretty known for this sort of thing..
So I've put the registration queue back on..
Unless you want sex with Old Black Women of course..
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Oh please let the spammers in. I'm ever so bored.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
It's a robot dude, he won't fight back or play nice.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I know. But maybe he'll do something interesting. It's your call of course.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I wonder if Thorn has died yet.
ETA: Man, I'm gonna have egg on my face tomorrow if he really does die.
[ 20.09.2006, 13:25: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
I just hope VP's nowhere near the WC when he lets rip..
It's probably nothing more than a serious case of the green apple splatters.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
[ 20.09.2006, 17:58: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Posted by squirrelandgman (Member # 201) on :
Shitting yourslef coming up on a pill is bad isn't it?
When I was in Cambodia I did exactly 30 shits in a 2 hour period. Don't eat chicken feet kids.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by squirrelandgman: Shitting yourslef coming up on a pill is bad isn't it?
Yes, but not nearly as bad as when you've just caned two grams of high voltage coke within half an hour. Even worse when the nearest toilet is already occupied by a similarly-fated liquid shitter. Agony.
(This was many years ago, mind.)
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
lol@misc
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I'd have gone for:
[ 21.09.2006, 04:32: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
[ 21.09.2006, 04:33: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Thanks for starting my day off with hysterical laughter, misc.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
It's a good thing we know you're American, Ralph, otherwise that might have come across as sarcasm.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I would never be sarcastic towards misc. I love him. Like the little brother my parents never gave me.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I would never be sarcastic towards misc. I love him. Like the little brother my parents never gave me.
I'd have killed for a big bearded brother when I were a nipper.
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