How depressing.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
*sigh*
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
*kicks clouds in the testicles Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
At least it's not very windy. Blustery rain sucks. Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
The rain is god's tears - sometimes he cries because he is happy, but sometimes he cries because he is sad.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
The floor I'm on at work, never the most lively of places (populated as it is by financial accountants, tax accountants and actuaries) is absolutely deserted today since all the actuaries went off for a jolly last night in London. Commenting on the weather is the most excitement I've had so far this morning.
Tumbleweed galore.
I am engaging in a sneak campaign to infiltrate cheesy ear-worms into my work neighbours by means of sotto voce humming of the relevant infectious soundbite. So far today I've succeeded with Barbie Girl and the Smooth Criminal bassline. It's quite rewarding to lay the audio mine, stand back and await its unconscious repetition back to you after a minute or so.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Last night I saw a rainbow. Today, it's sunny.
*punches sun in the solar flares*
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball: The rain is god's tears - sometimes he cries because he is happy, but sometimes he cries because he is sad.
*sniff*
He's got me started now. Stupid god.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: Stupid god.
Are you going to punch god in the [something] ?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Not at the moment.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Because you fear His wrath?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
No, because I don't want Him to cry.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I will
*punches god in the bell-end Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
ooof
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
If rain is God's tears, what are hail and snow?
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
sometimes he has conjunctavitus
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
He needs to get that seen to. By a God-doctor, I suppose - an EyeGod.
Or an iGod. There's a thought. In fact I bet godcasting already exists.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
It's stopped raining now. I'm drinking a coffee and eating a digestive biscuit. I need to plough on with some stuff. Have a massage at 2.40. Might play some golf tonight. Probably should go to Tesco as well. Hmm. All very dull.
At least there's TMO with all its sparkling with and general drollery to keep me entertained.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: In fact I bet godcasting already exists.
Godcasting = Podcasting about God
So if that exists, then why not:
rodcasting - podcasting about angling? sodcasting - podcasting about anal sex (or turf)? plodcasting - podcasting by the Police Force? squadcasting - podcasting by small groups in the Armed Forces? bodcasting - podcasting about an animated character from the mid '70s? pernodcasting - podcasting about absinthe?
[ 16.05.2007, 06:51: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
its not raining now. it was freezing yesterday. it looks like rain later though.
i've had tea. no more biscuits in the house though. 2 cans of red stripe. now? or later?
derby won penalty shootout last night.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
hodcasting - for brickies everywhere codcasting - for north atlantic fish, er, everywhere modcasting - for stylish scooter folk. or govt defence officials. nodcasting - yes!
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
saw that about derby - very nice - although they did kick the shit out of Gareth "vunderkint" Bale in the previous match.
Shame as I like Burley - but be a better final I think.
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
bodcasting - for fans of old tv shows or voyeurs vodcasting - where people talk about video on demand todcasting - from todcaster
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
two guys at work met david beckham yesterday. and sir geoff hurst. and sir trevor mcdonald. at the new wembley.
[ 16.05.2007, 07:13: Message edited by: mart ]
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
i wanted to go to new wembley. but at 32 quid a ticket (cheapest) i thought "fuck that"
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
plastercasting - going out on a limb with this one narrowcasting - it's the opposite of broadcasting diecasting - for believers in fate iconoclasting - the opposite of godcasting
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
zodcasting
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
casteing- bannedinindia
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
rodcasting and toddcasting - pretty much the same as godcasting
Enough!
Does anyone listen to podcasts these days?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Never listened to one. I used the listen again feature for Radio 4 a lot, in Spain, but that's it.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Does anyone listen to podcasts these days?
Not really, but you've certainly whetted my appetite now.
Someone is sending me the entire collection of Bob Dylan's radio series to date though, and those will be going straight on my mp3 player for a bit of Bo(b)DCasting.
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
i listen to 1xtra. a lot.
the football podcast at the guardian. and i did the gervais one too.
other than that its disco mixes at bring the heat or deep house pages or electriks.
or sometimes the one from submerge.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I listen to quite a few podcasts - Mark Kermode, FilmSpotting, Gamespot, NightShiftPodcast, JuxCast, Adam&Joe Coca Cola Podcast and the DJ Zinc Podcast.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
doc d - I'm trying to track down an mp3 of Jeree palmer's "late night Surrender" - have you heard of such a thing? It's a sweet disco tune that popped up in the firey grindhouse flick "Don't Go In The House".
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
[ 16.05.2007, 07:53: Message edited by: doc d ]
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
When I was a kid I listened to a lot of podcasts. We'd always be eating around the time of the Radio 4 6.30 comedy show, so I'd record it and listen to it on my mum's walkman while I took the dog out. Also my sister bought my mum podcasts of On The Hour a couple of years ago, which I also listened to.
I listened to couple of recordings of Ricky Gervais's show, which was pretty good.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
yeah, but I want an mp3. I thought maybe, being a disco fan you might have it. Some disco fan you turned out to be.
Plus, "boogie lightning" by l'ectrique. on Mp3. Not got that one either? Man.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: When I was a kid I listened to a lot of podcasts. We'd always be eating around the time of the Radio 4 6.30 comedy show, so I'd record it and listen to it on my mum's walkman while I took the dog out. Also my sister bought my mum podcasts of On The Hour a couple of years ago, which I also listened to.
That's totally web1.0 - modern day podcasts are driven by a thing called RSS - pushing the content out to you rather than forcing you to have to retrieve it.
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
i don't do mp3s.
sorry.
and i'm pretty rubbish for knowing names of songs. god, i'm no good at all.
dj history is a good place to ask. maybe.
its all about records innit.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I'll probably start buying some vinyl once I move house and have room for a record player. Something else I can blow my money on.
[ 16.05.2007, 08:01: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
sorry if anybody found that a bit shocking.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
how do you sleep?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Why would it be shocking?
Don't understand.
*does spastic face and hands. tries to punch self in testicles. fails. dribbles on shoulder Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
right now benny, not so good. Got a bit of a cold, so I've been tossing and turning. Also, last night some dude was trying to break a door down at like 4am, and the whole building was shaking. Went on for half an hour, just banging and banging. Damn thing never opened. The sweet part was that the dude next door to me (who hasn't bothered me since I went apeshit at him) got up and was complaining to whoever was attempting the demolition. It almost made it worth it to be woken up, knowing that he was woken up as well.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: Gamespot
Do you listen to the american Gamespot Teh Hotspot podcast, or the UK one? I tried the UK one the other week, but I thought it embarrasingly shit.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
american. I'm still too bitter about not getting a job at the UK one to listen to their shitty podcast. I'm in love with Jeff Gerstmann, so I get my Jeff fix every wednesday.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I also watch the weekly video thing. Better than gamer.tv by miles.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I'm also in love with iGoogle at the moment. Anybody else rocking it? Loving these sweet new themes.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
What's Facebook, and how does it work? Orlando Bloom is on it, you see, anonymously, looking for the right woman to settle down with (me). Is it like the myspace thing- teenagers listing their favourite colours and best mates and stuff?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
it's much harder to be anonymous on facebook than it is myspace. It's still about social networking though; you have a public profile, you can add contacts, there are messaging capabilities, and grouping functions. Kind of myspace, but not really. It's a bit more functional, and is built around RL networks. Myspace crossed with friends reunited.
I've got back in touch with my old school friends through it, which has been scary, but rewarding.
[ 16.05.2007, 09:06: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
if it's sex you're after, then myspace is still best. Necro shags chicks almost exclusively through myspace. He'd probably shag you if you went over to New York. Forget OB, a lily livered kentish flannel, and go with Necro, a brutish jew from brooklyn with a love of fantasy violence and abusive sex.
eta: is bloom jewish? seems to be an issue of contention.
[ 16.05.2007, 09:05: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: What's Facebook, and how does it work? Orlando Bloom is on it, you see, anonymously, looking for the right woman to settle down with (me). Is it like the myspace thing- teenagers listing their favourite colours and best mates and stuff?
Hi VP. From what I understand it's pretty much the same thing as MySpace. Good luck winning Mr. Bloom's heart. If he doesn't pick you, should we stab him in the heart, for being an idot?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I friended belladonna on myspace, and so far, no luck. Although she's not really my type anymore.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
bit too lezzy.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
You would though?
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I don't really understand MySpace either. Isn't it just an ad for yourself and your likes/dislikes? Like, who gives a fuck?
Bloom is his stepdad's surname, don't know if his mother's Jewish.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
quote:Originally posted by Amy:
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: What's Facebook, and how does it work? Orlando Bloom is on it, you see, anonymously, looking for the right woman to settle down with (me). Is it like the myspace thing- teenagers listing their favourite colours and best mates and stuff?
Hi VP. From what I understand it's pretty much the same thing as MySpace. Good luck winning Mr. Bloom's heart. If he doesn't pick you, should we stab him in the heart, for being an idot?
A good knee in the back would finish Bloom off.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tilde: You would though?
you know, I probably would. It would seem a bit ungrateful to turn it down. But it would be a mechanical affair.
[ 16.05.2007, 09:43: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I don't really understand MySpace either. Isn't it just an ad for yourself and your likes/dislikes? Like, who gives a fuck?
Pretty much. It's only for jerks.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I don't really understand MySpace either. Isn't it just an ad for yourself and your likes/dislikes? Like, who gives a fuck?
Bloom is his stepdad's surname, don't know if his mother's Jewish.
He's doing it as a friend though, so that he can meet a woman who loves him and not his starpower - so be prepared to work your way through loads of people pretending to be him pretending to be his friend.
I think that famous people who say that they can't find love because they can't be sure that they are loved for themselves or their stardom are full of shit. They can't find love because they are self centred, work stupid hours, sleep around etc etc etc
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I think MySpace is doing a lot of harm to modern music actually. About the only public forum that Trans-Global Underground have is through their MySpace page and it's got pages of people going, "Tx 4 teh add. Ur music is gr27." Everyone that's heard their new album is saying how mwah-mwah it is dahling. Truth is, it's frankly shite. (n.b. This is my favourite band of the last 15 years.)
I'm convinced that the explosion of MySpace arselickers since their last album has caused them to completely take their eye off the wonderfully eccentric ball they, er, had their eye on all the time before.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I don't think TGU releasing a shit album is indicative of modern music being dealt a great deal of harm.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
Yeah. This, for example, is GREAT.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: I don't think TGU releasing a shit album is indicative of modern music being dealt a great deal of harm.
Well, seeing as they were the only decent modern band until this new album, I think you'll find it is actually.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
maybe after 17 years, it's all just getting a bit tired. Why not try something new, like Sunshine Underground? Similar name, very Myspace friendly. The kids like it. The band recently 'teamed up' with Red Stripe, according to their official site. I'm planning on 'teaming up' with guiness. I'll give em a bell, friendly like, and just be all "hey, you err..you want to team up with me? Hmm? We'd..I think we'd make a pretty good team. Just you and I. A team."
[ 16.05.2007, 09:49: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
There's a bit of an elephant in the room with the old YouTube, I find.
When that elephant clears his throat and speaks in a lilting West Country accent, what he says is this: "The problem with EweTyaub is that the the stuff that's good is old and professionally produced while the stuff that's shoite is new and amateur, which is so-kind-of-not-the-point, sh-surely? Example: watching the Devo video for 'Whip It' is approximately fifteen billion times more entertaining than any of the "Ask a Ninja" episodes."
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
The best thing I ever found on You Tube was a photo-montage of these two slightly pudgy, but basically attractive 15 year-olds' day out in London, which included loads of pics of them trying on lingerie in a department store changing room. That was really brilliant, and kind of started to win me over to user-created content.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
this is one of the best things I've found. Not user created content, but a rountable discussion between Landis, Carpenter and Cronenburg about horror films.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: maybe after 17 years, it's all just getting a bit tired. Why not try something new, like Sunshine Underground? Similar name, very Myspace friendly. The kids like it.
Yeah, everything has it's time. Thing is TGU had moved on hugely from what they were originally (vaguely) remembered for and their last album, about three years ago, was genuinely excellent.
As for Sunshine Underground... I presume you're taking the piss. The clip on that MySpace page sounds like fucking McFly.
C'mon, there's got to be something that really rocks with a passion hasn't there? Not just loud guitars for the sake of it, but something that actually makes you want to kick something. For fun.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: this is one of the best things I've found. Not user created content, but a rountable discussion between Landis, Carpenter and Cronenburg about horror films.
That could be one of the best things that anyone has found on YouTube. Good work fella!
Most created content falls foul of the long tail zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
[blog] I've had enough of the rain now. Went swimming this morning, then straight to the garage to get my car brake pads replaced. I'm then informed that one of the discs has gone. £165. Great. Obtaining this disc would take a good hour or so, so I'm told that my car won't be ready for two hours. In the meantime, I have to get home for work, but the garage is an hour's walk away from my house, with no buses running there*. I've just walked home in the pissing rain, gaining half an hour at my screen before doing the same walk again. My car will be ready at 5, so I must set off. At least it's only drizzling now.
* and I can't be arsed wasting money getting a taxi to and fro. Plus, I suppose the added exercise is a bonus. [/blog]
ETA: Tiredness affecting ability to type coherent sentences.
[ 16.05.2007, 11:00: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
something else I found a couple of weeks ago: burroughs and warhol have a chat over lunch. This was on TV on an Arena repeat recently. Burroughs is well grumpy, the miserable old bastard.
Anybody else got a youtube profile apart from me?
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Hey I just saw in the news that Bandy's made a great breakthough.
Go Bandy! Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
this hasn't been a great day in TMO's history has it.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
no.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Nico looks like a right munter too.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tilde: Hey I just saw in the news that Bandy's made a great breakthough.
I don't see what the big deal is. It's 2007 and we've all seen goatse...
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tilde: Nico looks like a right munter too.
oh yeah, she was more 'striking' than fit.
eta: but, you know, if she were alive, I probably would.
[ 16.05.2007, 11:37: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Generation Goatse is probably the most apt description of web-literate 25-35yo kidults I've ever heard.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
ben, would you bang nico if the chance came along, and she was still alive?
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Would you touch her velvet underground?
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Right I'm going home before I self destruct again
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
I don't know. I mean, I'd be tempted - but not if it meant that the most notable thing I'd ever done in my life was having once been 'The Nico-Banger'.
There again. Her singing on Femme Fatale leads me to believe it would be quite some bang and therefore not to be dismissed out of hand.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
lol. I'm going to go and sit in the Agricultural in Angel for a while.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Or would you Moe Tucker?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
you'd have to catch her as the horse was wearing off. You don't want her all sweaty and fucked up because of withdrawal, but at the same time, if she's totally wasted then it wouldn't be much to write home about at all.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: There again. Her singing on Femme Fatale leads me to believe it would be quite some bang and therefore not to be dismissed out of hand.
I bet she'd be smelly. She'd reek of fags.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
fags and death. Cold, industrial German DEATH.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
i'm getting desky now
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
She'd probably try and mask the smell with some cheap American perfume she found in the bottom of Joe Dalessandro's sleeping bag.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Fags, smack, death, cheap scent and nylon. She'd smell like an old whore's corpse.
[ 16.05.2007, 12:03: Message edited by: Black Mask ]
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
She's also obviously been around the block a few times. No telling what diseases she's got wafting around in there.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: 'The Nico-Banger'
I believe this was mooted as a non-vegetarian, celebrity-endorsed rival to 'The Linda McCartney Sausage'.
It was to be the first product in her aborted Behind the Beef Curtain line.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
This made me lol this morning. Pinkey the loving cat.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I'm ashamed to report that this morning I became one of those girls who collapse on the tube- only made it 2 stops before realising I needed to get off and sit down, but keeled over in the doorway when it stopped at Putney Bridge. Quite impressed by the Rapid Response Unit they seem to have- surrounded by blokes with walkie talkies escorting me into the station controller's office, where I had to have my name put in their "incident book": V POETESS: A HUNGOVER DISGRACE ON THE DISTRICT LINE, 08.15. It was utterly mortifying.
[ 17.05.2007, 05:26: Message edited by: Vogon Poetess ]
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
I bet that wouldn't have happened if you'd agreed to go to dinner with me instead of hitting the booze with your gambling cronies.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
maybe time to take a few days off.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I wonder what Vogon Poetess's mother would say if she knew her daughter was falling down drunk on the way to work at 8.15 in the morning.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball: Most [user] created content falls foul of the long tail zzzzzzzzzzzzz
This is true although the same could be said of most "proper" content. I think the thing we can learn from this is that we need "shit filters", reviewers that we feel have similar tastes as ourselves to recommend content which appeals. This is where MP3 Blogs, video podcasts, forums and Big Nuts etc come in. It's similar to reading the recommendations page on the Radio Times rather than sitting through every program hoping for something good to come on.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: * Snake eats bird alive!
quote: Chirp..... Chir.... Chi... Ch.. C.
There's something incredibly poignant about that clip that makes it very hard to watch. The grim inevitability of the chick's fate, and the steely indifference of the python that consumes it. What makes it even more chilling is that the chick never really seems to get a handle on the situation. It doesn't look panicked or especially aware of how mortal its situation. It puts up a brief half-hearted struggle at one point, but that seems to be more about discomfort than fear. Other than that it goes dumbly to its fate in apparent ignorance. Symbolic.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak:
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: * Snake eats bird alive!
quote: Chirp..... Chir.... Chi... Ch.. C.
There's something incredibly poignant about that clip that makes it very hard to watch. The grim inevitability of the chick's fate, and the steely indifference of the python that consumes it. What makes it even more chilling is that the chick never really seems to get a handle on the situation. It doesn't look panicked or especially aware of how mortal its situation. It puts up a brief half-hearted struggle at one point, but that seems to be more about discomfort than fear. Other than that it goes dumbly to its fate in apparent ignorance. Symbolic.
**WARNING** do not read the above post if you are 'at work'.
[ 17.05.2007, 05:59: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
They had one on the telly the other day with a duck and an anaconda. The duck was staked to the ground. I mean, what's the point of endless movies saying, "No animals were harmed in the making of this picture" if the next minute a load of scientists are going to stake out a duck and film it being horrifically mutilated by a psychopathic anaconda? The movie studios must be going, "Well fuck it then. I don't know why we ever bothered being nice to the stupid animals when scientists say it's absolutely fine to tear them to shreds on prime time tv. Get me three crates of baby seals. I want them on my desk by 5pm. And a barrel of scorpions."
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: I mean, what's the point of endless movies saying, "No animals were harmed in the making of this picture" if the next minute a load of scientists are going to stake out a duck and film it being horrifically mutilated by a psychopathic anaconda?
Animals. Some of them (notably salamanders and cats) are great. Others are just stupid furry/feathered wankers.
Ever wanted to punch a puffin, beat up a bulldog or kick a cockatoo to death? Now's your chance to take it all out on the animal kingdom....
Which animal would you most like to harm, and why?
[ 17.05.2007, 06:53: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
*punches TMO in the udder Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I'm with ben. I could only watch the very beginning of chickclip as I could feel hysterical crying welling within. When the snake almost let it go, and it didn't try to get out... *punches self in heart Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Don't feel pity for the chick, for it is we.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
What kind of life did the chick have to look forward to? Being a fucking chicken.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
gnnnaooww. i couldnt get to the end of that clip. having read nathan's post it felt a bit like watching united 93 at the cinema. oh, the crunching inevitability of it all.
on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, i was in my kitchen yesterday doing the washing up when a very shabby double decker bus full of five year old children pulled up directly outside. being on the first floor my eyeline was level with the top deck. as i stood idly drying a plate with my favourite historical somerset teatowel and humming to myself one of the small children noticed me and started waving and grinning. i waved back, as you do. i imagine he must have shouted something like 'look! in that flat! theres a lady!' as a chain reaction was set off and thirty seconds later every child on the top deck of that bus was waving at me and grinning gappily. imagine how life- affirming being waved at by one five- year old is- now times that by about 26. seriously, i was so uplifted by the simple beauty of the experience i nearly fell down. but then i started wondering whether they would have all waved at me if i was not in fact a lady in a flowery top but a young man, or rather, whether they would all have been permitted to wave at me by the adults supervising them, and that made me think about paedophilia, and then i wasnt very uplifted any more.
[ 17.05.2007, 07:47: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I just forwarded that link to my girlfriend, who's a staunch 'animal lover'. It probably didn't help that she was having her lunch at the time, but her reply was far from polite. Silly woman. No oral for her for a while.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I wanted to clatter my dog one, eartlier because she wouldn't get out of the river. I was stood there shouting 'come one' in a silly animal talking to voice and she just stood there, giving me the big wet eyes. Then she'd caper off for a bit, then come back, stand six feet away from me in two foot of water and give me the big wet eyes again. Other dog walkers were going past with their perfectly well behaved dogs and looking at me with pity and contempt. Whilst the dog stood there in the river giving it the big dog-wuh. Stupid dog.
I have only fainted in public once. At a gig. I was hoisted off by a burly roadie. Mortifying.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
When TheGree and I drove across the States, at some point just outside Denver we overtook a yellow school bus full of teenage kids. I was quite jazzed at the whole yellow school bus thing, as I think they're lovely pieces of design, and this one was full of real kids, who reaffirmed my idea that, essentially, everyone's the same the world over, when they all turned towards me, saw me grinning and enthusiastically flipped me the bird. All of them.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i just nearly posted the most extraoridnarily tasteless thing i have ever posted on here. it was so offensive. im not going to now. but wow. it was pretty awesome.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, i was in my kitchen yesterday doing the washing up when a very shabby double decker bus full of five year old children pulled up directly outside. being on the first floor my eyeline was level with the top deck. as i stood idly drying a plate with my favourite historical somerset teatowel and humming to myself one of the small children noticed me and started waving and grinning.
This used to happen to me very often but it was in Streatham. And they weren't kids, they were windows licking chavs mostly. I don't miss Streatham.
Mind you, no buses round here at all.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Which animal would you most like to harm, and why?
That's a tricky one really. Wasps, jellyfish and pigeons immediately spring to mind. I've already dealt with wasps [preferred method of execution: setting them on fire using a cigarette lighter] and pigeons [blowing one to pieces using brother's rat shotgun]. So, that leaves jellyfish. They'd be pretty tricky to execute underwater, so they'd have to be stabbed with a pointy stick when they inadvertently drift on to the beach. Apart from these, I wouldn't like to harm any other animals. I once thought that kicking a penguin up the arse might be fun, but I like them now.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
Wasps aren't animals - they are the living embodiment of bitterness...
ETA I dreamt that I was a pirate looking after penguin eggs last night - but then the queen and I tried to escape nuclear holocaust by jumping on the ship from the philidelphia experiment.
[ 17.05.2007, 08:34: Message edited by: Benny the Ball ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I took the Victoria train to Sutton this morning, which is a bit of a shame, because sailing past Putney Bridge and watching what I thought was VP falling over sick would have really kickstarted the day.
Pinkey, will always finish off any day with absolute joy, however.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I got told off today because I took a mouse out of the cupboard to give to someone and they didn't need it. While it was on my desk someone did a mouse count and we got an email declaring how we need to take mnore care. I simply put the mouse back in the cupboard and I got hauled aside for that. Also, for taking on too much work. Which is kind of hard when the policy is 'pick up the phone on first ring' If you don't pick up the phone, a manager will look at you until you do. Then have a go at you for being too busy.
Another manager screwed up his face and said 'rambunctious? why didn't you say noisy?' but if I have to explain why the word rambunctious is hilarious, then I'd be wasting precious life force.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
My friend sean said 'That's the thing about corporations. They love the bureaucracy because it means not getting around to proper work'
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
By the way I am punching myself in the testes.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
here is a nice clip of a sex- starved tortoise harrassing cats. my favourite bit is the little sequence of him steaming towards the camera with that look in his tiny beady eyes. that look so familiar to anyone who has ever been in a meatmarket nightclub fifteen minutes before lights- up.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
id like to make it clear that i didnt just jank that clip straight from the front page of youtube. i got it from a friend's blog. theyobviously just janked that clip straight from the front page of youtube.
i am so humiliated. *kicks self in cuntbone, marvels at own dexterity*
[ 18.05.2007, 07:05: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
a double post! what fresh misery is in store for me this morning, i wonder.
[ 18.05.2007, 07:05: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
What he lacks in agility he makes up for in tenacity.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
