posted
Yeah! I've had a couple of droughts of 18 months, though after a few months I didn't notice any more, and sex seemed a faintly ridiculous pastime indulged in by people with frankly no self-control.
Can any of our readers beat 18 months? Apart from the first 16 or so years of life, natch.Posts: 4537
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posted
I would have had a drought of nearly two years, but my sexual drought top trump is marred by a one night stand in the middle.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
I had a six month drought precipitated by love-of-life fecking off to work ex-pat on some mudhole in Asia. This beats 18 months on the premise that I couldn't even go out and bonk a minger for relaxation purposes as I was being all faithful and unadulterous and things.
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posted
Having been in a long-term relationship since the age of 17, ‘drought’ is not really a concept I am familiar with. However, after said relationship ended on May 5th 2002 I did not do it between May 18th (though I choose to discount the May 18th experience since I did not enjoy it very much) and July 5th. There was also a drought earlier this year (2003) between March 1st and April 20th, which was highly unsatisfying. I am sincere in my hopes that such droughts will not be a regular occurrence.
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posted
I was in the middle of a 10 month drought until I broke it recently. Actually, I was quite irritated by this as I was aiming to rack up a year of celibacy, and NYD was so easy to count from. No matter, I'm back to my nun-like habit again now. Hopefully not the much longer, although I've become surprisingly picky of late. I have been told that this is a good thing. Having been in LTRs since 15 this holding off has been quite illuminating (I'm not talking about any 'finding yourself' nonsense) but I'm getting rather bored now.
-------------------- the more brilliant her smile, the closer she always seemed to disaster Posts: 1057
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quote:Originally posted by herbs: Can any of our readers beat 18 months? Apart from the first 16 or so years of life, natch.
Between losing my virginity in a one-off, fumbling and really rather forgettable occasion when I was 16 and commencing regular shagtivity at 18 I had a break of, er, (counts on fingers) about 20 months or something. This allowed me to develop a rather powerful right arm and become quite an expert in the pronographic arts of the early 1980s.
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quote:Originally posted by Louche: I couldn't even go out and bonk a minger for relaxation purposes as I was being all faithful and unadulterous and things.
Well precisely.
Six months, Jebus. I think I'd go mad if the end wasn't already in sight.
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posted
Looks like I might have the record so far, though I do tend to consider the virginity losing event as a bit of a false start. It's like if you'd had no rain for 16 years and then had one drop and said, right, drought's over and then had two more years without rain before regular rainfall commenced for the next 20 years.
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posted
Yeah but yeah but it’s all relative, innit? I mean we weren’t one of those long-term couples who stopped doing it. Even right up to the end we did it loads (well, this might not sound like loads to the singletons or newly-coupled but the long-term loved up will surely get it) - like at least once a week. So when you’ve been getting it a minimum of once a week and then you break up and see various new boys and get it tons and tons and tons and tons and THEN you don’t get it for almost two months, it’s like holy crap dude, what the FUCK is wrong with me. Is it because I am ginger.
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quote:Originally posted by London: get it tons and tons and tons and tons and THEN you don’t get it for almost two months, it’s like holy crap dude, what the FUCK is wrong with me. Is it because I am ginger.
I don't see your point. How is this worse than going from a long term relationship (complete with sex life) to meeting new person and getting it tons and tons and tons and then you don't get it for almost two years?
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quote:Originally posted by Louche: I had a six month drought precipitated by love-of-life fecking off to work ex-pat on some mudhole in Asia. This beats 18 months on the premise that I couldn't even go out and bonk a minger for relaxation purposes as I was being all faithful and unadulterous and things.
You see, I'm not sure this beats 18 months. I had no reason not to shag mingers for recreation, but didn't, for the possible yet horrifying reason that they didn't want to shag me. At least a six-month self-imposed drought is better for the self image.
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posted
I would have thought also that a drought is a bad thing. It is something that must be endured and suffered. It is a shortage. Therefore, if you go eight months without sex, but at no point do you want any, or even care, then is it still a drought?
posted
I wouldn't say that it really counts as a drought. I've regularly been a few months between lays, and it's not something that really bothers me that much. Not that I have a low sex drive, it's just not the most important thing in my life. I'm sure that if I felt so inclined, I could probably get much more sex than I do.
Unlike cars and smoking, it's really something I can live without. For a month or two at least.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
I have found that the times I've gone without sex - the longest of which nudges the 2 year mark - have been marked not by a slowly-growing need to fuck anything that moves or even breathes but more by a sort of detatched curiosity about sex: like learning Japanese or flying a plane, it seemed like quite a technical and exacting pursuit that probably had its merits, but didn't seem applicable to me. Of course, I was living in St. Andrews at the time, home of the Most Unattractive Student Population in The World...Ever, so perhaps that explains it.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I can't decide whether that's a good joke, or a really bad one. It feel kind of Dang-esque, I think.
I would say that it's a good joke. It's the sort of joke that you might make on the back of somebody else's joke, and steal their thunder at the last minute. You'd have to wait for exactly the right moment to deploy it though.
Here:
Point (A) would be where the original wisecrack is made, which could be anything based upon lack of empathy, sympathy, problems with relating to others. London's example works very well. You can see that in this illustration that there is a sharp increase in the volume(db) of laughter (based upon a pub/house party scenario) after this joke. Point (B) however, is the 'rider' gag. You'll notice how the original laughter level is actually falling when this is produced. Of course, the time is on a small scale, so it's probably only a matter of a second to one and a half seconds, but it is vital that (B) is on the down-slope in order to bring the levels up to the plateau at (C). The distance between (A) and (B) should be determined by the amount of self-confidence you wish to portray. It's a fine balance - too much and your attempted coup will be easily spotted, rather than being taken as a "compliment" to the original joke. Too little, and the rider will no longer have a gag to ride.
At point C, people will be thinking "I never realised before how attractive XXXX is...". And most of the work was done at point (A).
So, yes. A good joke.
[ 08.12.2003, 04:19: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
posted
But what are we debating here? The fact that I said I had a drought of 7 weeks and so therefore what constitutes a drought? Like Londie said, its all relevant to what you are used to and thats going to vary for everyone. What might constitute a long time with no sex for you might be a drop in the ocean for your friend over there at the next desk. Its all to do with sex drive and circumstance innit?
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: Like Londie said, its all relevant to what you are used to and thats going to vary for everyone. What might constitute a long time with no sex for you might be a drop in the ocean for your friend over there at the next desk. Its all to do with sex drive and circumstance innit?
But your theory rests on the idea that people who are citing droughts of 10 months+ were, prior to that, not having much sex anyway so not missing it, or simply not interested anyway.
What you have to consider is the possibility that someone maybe going from the same jumping off point of a healthy and active sex life, fuelled by an 8 cylinder libido and then suddenly being plunged into a coitus free environment for a year and a half longer than your feeble approximation of sexual pauperism.
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Dr Benway’s fine analysis of the timing of Thorn’s joke fortunately prevented a serious post I was about to make vis-à-vis ‘skin hunger’ and the concept of using sex in order to get hugs. Feminist sensibilities and fear of being taken the wrong way also prevented me from making big-sisterly teasing comments to Uber vis-à-vis considering seven weeks a ‘drought’ and being A Big Blonde Slut.
What comments have you recently considered posting and then thought better of?Posts: 6175
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: missing the point stuff
Actually I am assuming nothing of the kind nor in fact making any judgements/holding any theories about the frequency and enjoyment of sex lives of anyone else. I was merely pointing out a fact that for myself my longest period of abstinence has been 7 weeks and then mocking myself with a joking face to reinforce my extreme sexual nature. Obviously.
I am naturally pleased that my comments have further spurred on this thread to continuing discussion around the subject of drought and sexual frequency but in no way did I mean to present any theories of any kind.
I thank you for your kind attention. No animals were harmed during the making of this disclaimer.
edit: ahh, you see London, I already jibed myself for being a big blonde slut with my 'extreme sexual nature' comment. I know my place
posted
I have never experienced this "drought" you speak of! Perhaps because I am attractive and good in bed. Also, when I am not getting regular sex, I love myself off with "wanking". I also do this when getting regular sex.
Wow, you are all giving me a boner, I must go to the toilet because it's sexy in there.
quote:Originally posted by London: Posts That Didn’t Happen What comments have you recently considered posting and then thought better of?
I was going to mention something in web about defining your own moral boundaries within certain games. You know, the type of game that gives you an amoral environment that allows for what we would consider immoral actions.. Whether or not people play as "themselves" or as the character, and does this affect the way that you interact with NPCs etc. It was based upon Miscs' comments, and was a good length. Sadly, it failed my own rigorous quality tested procedure. Three edits, and it was still sub par, so it had to go.
Did you know....? About 75% of our material is eventually cut down or rejected completely, in order to ensure that the "Dr. Benway" brand remains a sign of both quality and excellence. Here at BenwayHQ, Oregan, We've put our heads together, and are thinking about launching an exciting new product sometime soon, in order to compliment the original brand with something more accesible. It would still be from the same team that brings you "Dr. Benway", but the emphasis would be upon bringing you 'more of the benway you love, more of the time'. It would allow readers to access a lot of the material that is currently remaining unpublished. It's still in the concept stage at the moment, but we're making progress! Any customer comments or complaints regarding Dr. Benway or Dr. BenwayLITE should be directed to benway@doctor.com, or TXT "BNWY" to 8223.
[ 08.12.2003, 04:57: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
I guess that was one of those comments I thought better of posting...
What's going on today? Is it me all off kilter? Actually, my stars did say something about a communication problem today... Perhaps I had better not post today on the advice of astrologers.com
turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
quote:Originally posted by philomel:
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I think that's just called celibacy. The wierdest of all the sexual fetishes.
I was quite enjoying my celibacy. Am I sick and wrong?
Probably. But you're not alone. I had a drought after I split up with my ex, shagged him a few more times (to say goodbye) and then got freaked out when he started behaving like a stalker. That was the beginning of six whole months of no sex. I was enjoying my celibacy too, but mainly because I didn't want a man in my life, no matter how briefly. I would have loved some nookie, but I was enjoying not being involved with anyone at any level, so I took my celibacy in my stride. Then I met Turbo Man and much sweaty, breathless bedroom stuff followed.
[ 08.12.2003, 06:16: Message edited by: turbo ]
-------------------- Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. Posts: 1189
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
quote:Originally posted by philomel: I was quite enjoying my celibacy. Am I sick and wrong?
No. But the meeja would let you think otherwise. It's, like, the last taboo, innit? It's permissable, acceptable and laudable to out yourself as myriad different things; transvestite, transexual, gay, bi, liking of semolina, a past member of the Tory party, into nappy-play, desperate for children, desperate to not have children, desperate for power, into hott Asian Babes etc etc. But it's just not on to say "actually, I'm not that keen on sex". Because not being keen on sex doesn't mean you're not keen on sex, it means you're doing it wrong. Or you've never had the right man. Or the right woman. Or the right combination of man and woman, simultaneously, whilst popping amyl nitrate and sticking a rabbit up your bum. When was the last time you read a feature in a Sunday Supplement about people who aren't too keen on bonking? You haven't? Oh, there's a surprise!
NB: This post is not meant to insinuate that Philomel has ever said 'I'm not keen on sex'.
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