It seems that Friday night has passed us by and we're here, all on our own again - b-but we won't let it get us down, hey? Cos we can have fun our way, yeh?
*Looks from side to side nervousely*
Just to kick things off...
How low have you sunk so far?
pf: So far I have eaten a whole large Morrisons Spicy Pepperoni Feast pizza and six little bieres (Morrisons own brand "premium lager" lol) and I am working my way through my Kazaaed Rocky Horror mp3s.
(So far I have got to Meat Loaf's song - Hot Patootie Bless Mah Soul - Arrealleh luv arrR OCKanrow)
There is a bottle of vodka in the fridge which I think will go very well with a carton of Ocean Spray.
How far have you sunk - can you beat this admittedly pitiful spectacle?
Booze, you say? Cheap bottle of wine in fridge, half a litre of lager about to disappear down gullet, lots of French vermouth.
NO SODDING GIN!
I am trying to compose a dub track, and dishing out advice on Spanish omelettes in one msn window, and *sighing* a lot in another about ex-girlfriends in Ealing.
Here's a picture of Johnny Mills, for no reason whatsoever.
Feel free to better it with a photo portrait of your choice.
For myself, I'm drinking Tennents lager and dicking around on the net having just finished trying to decide whether the PC version of Halo is justifiably long-awaited or just another bog-standard FPS. The jury's still out which probably means the latter.
I just found out that there was a new Chemical Brothers single featuring The Flaming Lips so I've Soulseek'ed that and it's quite pleasant. Next up is either the new Bubba Sparxx, some Jimmy Eat World or perhaps the new Basement Jaxx.
I drank a can of Stella on the walk from work to the train. I didn't actually enjoy it at all. I was listening to Late Bar by Duran Duran. My rucksack was wrenching something in my left shoulder.
At home I had a glass of rose and stuffed two plain chocolate biscuits whole in my gob.
I had Go West on when my brother phoned. He did impressions of Alan Partridge.
I failed that level of the PS2 Starfighter again. I played it twice and lost at exactly the same point. I can see myself either cheating and thus making the game pointless, or giving up on it and never seeing the probably rich and painstakingly-designed 80% of content that lies beyond my abilities.
I zipped myself up and trekked to Brockley Costcutter for 21 petits croissants -- the most appealing breakfast goods stocked by this bleak striplit cavern of tat. 21 tiny babyfists of butter pastry is a ridiculous concept when you'd much rather have six decent sized ones, but it was that or some West Indian hard sour doughbread, mock-French madeleines that looked like they'd been sitting in their package for a week, or the shelves of Keith Talent-style Mr Kipling mini individual frosted bakewell fondants.
Then I bought a small cod, medium chips from the Chinese chippy. While waiting I got annoyed at old Sunday supplement articles about people who were, to my mind, undeservedly famous, like someone who edited a book of Poems to Fall in Love With and was being compared to Nigella Lawson because of her "swipe of hair" and "sultry eyes".
On the way back I felt mildly threatened by every knot of teenagers, and wondered if kickbox-aerobics would actually make me better at fighting. At least I throw hundreds of punches every week, and at least they're technically real punches.
I ate my chips from the wrapper, but on a plate, with cutlery. With ketchup. At the side of my plate I kept a tumbler of Hi-Juice Strawberry and Apple squash. I flicked between something about an airport, a sitcom with Ardal O'Hanlon, a celebrity sports show and Max Payne. When I was full of chips I played and won two further levels of Max Payne, which makes me feel paranoid and upset when I'm alone -- the snow, the empty yards with wire fence, the howl of sirens over the wall, the enemies around every corner. Then, I ate more chips.
Modge phoned from a hospital payphone. She was in a corridor with voices echoing, and sounded quite fitful. I was afraid she might be crying quietly at the end of the call.
I feel kind of fat and oily now, and my posture is awful.
Feel free to ignore, lie, whatever.
Concerned,
Spain
[ 12 September 2003: Message edited by: cody joe bibby ]
However, she is back tomorrow with any luck and I hope your kindness will please her so much that she overlooks my lack of discretion.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
I failed that level of the PS2 Starfighter again. I played it twice and lost at exactly the same point. I can see myself either cheating and thus making the game pointless, or giving up on it and never seeing the probably rich and painstakingly-designed 80% of content that lies beyond my abilities.
I'm at exactly the same point with Eternal Darkness but unfortuntely I know there are no cheats which means I have to give up on what was otherwise an enthralling experience with only a sense of my own inferiority left in it's place.
Edit to add: Best wishes (how twee does that sound) to modge also now that Mart's asked the question I wasn't sure to.
[ 12 September 2003: Message edited by: Bamba ]
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
I'm tempted to ask about the last line of your post but fear getting over-familiar so I'll take bit above: I'm at exactly the same point with Eternal Darkness but unfortuntely I know there are no cheats which means I have to give up on what was otherwise an enthralling experience with only a sense of my own inferiority left in it's place.
I'm intrigued that you think my performance on a PS2 game could lead you to get too familiar...[edit: I see now what you meant.]
With me it's perhaps more disappointing because I've only had the game 24 hours, and so far it's obviously had so much care invested in it -- all the voice acting and cut-scenes, for instance, and the music from Episode I -- that it seems perverse of them to effectively stop people from seeing everything they've done, by making the second level so frustratingly hard to complete.
Imagine a film that you could only watch 10% of unless you passed an exam to show you understood the plot properly so far, and you kept failing and didn't realise why!
It's not as though I know why I'm not completing the level, which I could deal with. I'm doing everything I can, probably getting faster and more accurate every time, and I still get thrown out of the game at exactly the same point.
[ 12 September 2003: Message edited by: kovacs ]
The vodka and cranberry idea's already given out - no more carnberry, and I'm done with supping vodka neat - so I'll have to go onto the 3l bottle of Gaymer's Olde Englishe that survived the Leeds Festival.
(rhps - I've just re-played Eddie's Teddy - as performed by by Dr Scott (sieg heil!))
Also: I have lit the tealights in a six-cup candleholder.. for "atmos". :
On return I will be having a Safeway microwave Spaghetti Carbonara, accompanied by a chilled 0.75l bottle of Hoegaarden.
There is a wonderful selection of other alcoholic beverages and tinctures to choose from, both in the fridge and in the wine cellar under the stairs, but as long as Ben keeps creating nice threads like this one - thus giving me no excuse to bite his head off for the mere sake of it - I can see the mouthwash-green absinthe seeing another evening pass quietly by without disturbance.
[ 12 September 2003: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
I have sunk thus far: 3/4 bottle of cheap red wine, 1/3 spliff, 1 veggie saussie and mash supper, 1 "The Games" on TV, 1 spider now in bath, 1 phone conversation with parent about health insurance and dog, 0 Fun Stuff.
Result: baby mackerels and philadelphia on toast. Is that a low or a high?
And hello wine! It just appeared before me.
(Hope Modge gets super well super soon. Nice thoughts speeding her way.)
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
rereading Fight Club so I can ruin it for Thorn by embarking on a solid month of pastiche and dissection.
I really wish you wouldn't...
Who here has ever cried while reading or posting something on TMO?
Poster fist: I don't think so, no. I did feel choked up when reading Moggiecookie's recent family post. I don't think I can remember any other occasion. Perhaps Uber's appeal for support had the same effect...and that story about the steerpikey kid who delivered envelopes with pictures of animals on them was pretty moving.
Why ask, then.
Well, I feel kind of sad about Johnny Cash, to be honest. That "Hurt" video really got to me while he was alive. I was thinking of downloading it again and seeing if it'd squeeze out a tear, considering I've been drinking and am not entirely my normal emotional self, with Modge passed out in a ward somewhere.
We're all fellas here so I thought it would be interesting to see whether the board had nudged that maudlin limit for anyone -- with girls, I would think it rather more likely.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Is that a low or a high?
I doubt the baby mackerels will be particularly happy about it if that helps.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
We're all fellas here
*Ducks under desk and awaits Astro's response*
I think Ben asked how low we had sunk. I'm now downloading any video with "sister" or "shower" in it, in an attempt to boost my Kazaa rating and get these Queen tracks faster.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
I think Ben asked how low we had sunk. I'm now downloading any video with "sister" or "shower" in it, in an attempt to boost my Kazaa rating and get these Queen tracks faster.
Meh, just download the latest version and sidestep all that ratings nonsense.
Who wants to touch me?
BI-cycle!
bi-cycle!
BI-cycle!
This new version of Kazaa sounds a bit limited if it gives users no excuse for d/ling "my sister in shower webcam".
What did you think of that Halo PC Beta btw? I'm not that impressed with it.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
This new version of Kazaa sounds a bit limited if it gives users no excuse for d/ling "my sister in shower webcam".
If it's excuses for downloading porn you're after then no, it's no use at all.
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
Sab! The very man! My normal BT links site is fucked at the moment, any suggestions?
quote:Like most things I get, I get them just to say I have it and never install it (120gb so far)... I'll most likely delete it and never install it... I'm a gamer really.
Originally posted by Bamba:
What did you think of that Halo PC Beta btw? I'm not that impressed with it.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
I think this remix of Flash Gordon is giving me...an orgasm.
Big-band techno whizz and friend of mine Matthew Herbert considers Flash Gordon to be the finest soundtrack ever recorded. He used to dress up as a ballroom dancer in an orange all-in-one and play it very, very loudly while I was trying to revise. I have a photo somewhere.
Anyway: I too was saddened by Johnny Cash dying. There's a great bit in the album Live at San Quentin where Cash snarls...
quote:
San Quentin / I hate every inch of you
Also: I'd challenge anyone to come up with a better song about father/son relationships than A Boy Named Sue.
Have a good evening all.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
How far have you sunk - can you beat this admittedly pitiful spectacle?
Anyone currently performing a 90% word-perfect rendition of Eric B and Rakim's Lyrics of Fury? With the original track on earphones so only I can hear the track and actual vocals, and my impression of a tuff Black voice sounds bravely unaccompanied to my neighbours? With the curtains open so my wigga hand gestures are visible like free contemporary theatre to the street outside?
I win! You losers!
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
I'm now downloading any video with "sister" or "shower" in it, in an attempt to boost my Kazaa rating and get these Queen tracks faster.
quote:
Originally posted by sabian:
Like most things I get, I get them just to say I have it and never install it (120gb so far)... I'll most likely delete it and never install it... I'm a gamer really.
Thanx for the linx dude. As for your comment above, I know the feeling as I do this with the people at work as well. Sometimes I get the feeling that no one actually watches any of the DVD rips we all get, everyone just wnats to be the first to say they've got it. Mind you, in my cast that might all change when I take delivery of this badboy.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Bamba, man, it was a joke. Only a borderline sociopath would read a book specifically so he could hurt the feelings of people who loved it.
I doubt you'd actually be hurting Thorn's feeling simply by hating Fight Club, just pissing him off a helluva lot which I took to be the point. Anyway, fuck all that bullshit as I really don't want to start any kind of argument.
I've just got in from the pub, where I drank precisely 2 pints of coca cola, and smoked 6 cigarettes. My sore throat is playing up slightly, but otherwise, I'm rocking pretty damn hard.
Have I ever cried while reading a post?
No, but when Moggiecookie sent me a text message thanking me for my reply, I did well up..
Next up on my evenings playlist is either Bubba Sparxx, Basement Jaxx, 50 Cent, Mogwai, Eminem or Tosca (th dub remixes). First to reply gets to control what I actually hear for the next hour or so. The power, the prestige, how can you all resist?
So, nobody ever cried at TMO. Want me to make you cry now?
quote:
practice_sex_fcukureself : u lk well fit on ure pic
kovacs: wheres yours
practice_sex_fcukureself : dnt hav 1
kovacs: what do you look like
practice_sex_fcukureself : erm
practice_sex_fcukureself : dunno
kovacs: try a mirror
practice_sex_fcukureself : i no
[ 12 September 2003: Message edited by: kovacs ]
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
Mind you, in my cast that might all change when I take delivery of this badboy.
Or, you can get this.... More expensive, but if you factor in the cost of CDRs, you'll save money just by watching the film via your network, no need to burn!
[ 12 September 2003: Message edited by: Bamba ]
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
Have some real input into my actual life!Next up on my evenings playlist is either Bubba Sparxx, Basement Jaxx, 50 Cent, Mogwai, Eminem or Tosca (th dub remixes). First to reply gets to control what I actually hear for the next hour or so. The power, the prestige, how can you all resist?
I say do Tosca, man. That way you don't have to choose again for the rest of your evening. Operas are long, aren't they?
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:Who here has ever cried while reading or posting something on TMO?
Yes... During the 9/11 posts (when it happened, not the re-visited shite)... Not because of what was happening or because I felt sympathy for those that died, but because it really drove home just how far away I am from EVERYTHING I have ever known... And, that if something were to happen back home, I'd have to find a way to raise enough money for airfare, then wait and upwards of 16 hours from airport to plane to airport to drive home before I could be there... So, if something tragic happened, I knew/know that I'll never to get to say goodbye because I'm here and not there...
Excuse me, time for a new can of cider... Damn you ben and your meat-suggestion...
quote:
Originally posted by cody joe bibby:
I say do Tosca, man. That way you don't have to choose again for the rest of your evening. Operas are long, aren't they?
Sorry if I this is a joke and I'm just being slow but I meant this although I realise now I should have been more specific. Although the idea of an album of dub remixed opera does sound like a winner.
quote:
Originally posted by sabian:
just how far away I am from EVERYTHING I have ever known... And, that if something were to happen back home, I'd have to find a way to raise enough money for airfare, then wait and upwards of 16 hours from airport to plane to airport to drive home before I could be there... So, if something tragic happened, I knew/know that I'll never to get to say goodbye because I'm here and not there...
Dude.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Drop a bomb on dat!
you know it baybee! gotta lotta hot joints goin down in here tonight!
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
Sorry if I this is a joke and I'm just being slow but I meant this although I realise now I should have been more specific. Although the idea of an album of dub remixed opera does sound like a winner.
Knew what you meant. Was just trying to be witty.
Mart, I think your friend Herbert is cool.
quote:
Originally posted by cody joe bibby:
Knew what you meant. Was just trying to be witty.
Fair enough, Tosca it is.
I realise that for many people the huge Septembermeat this time last year was inadequate for all sorts of reasons; but for me, meeting - at last - people like Sabian and Victoria and Darryn was incredibly poignant.
As is practically any contact I have with the great souls, the great hearts that people this wierd, imaginary "place". In a way, that stupid, wiry trio of letters irl becomes terribly puny and contingent when I contrast it with the intensity of feeling I associate with TMO.
(Shaking - literally shaking - with anger at being traduced by a Rick J; aching with laughter at something posted by the great comic voices (too many, too diverse to instance); caught by the sinews and pulled out of myself by the affective hurricane that blows from some peoples' posts...)
I've never known anything like it and cannot imagine life without it.
*shivers*
There. I said it.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Also: I'd challenge anyone to come up with a better song about father/son relationships than A Boy Named Sue.
quote:
Find a girl, settle down
Pretty soon you'll be married,
Look at me, I am old
But I'm happy
quote:
I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
That kind of affect doesn't happen to me anymore on TMO.
I'm sorry, I don't mean that. I don't think I can eloquently sum up what this place, and you people mean to me.
Poster fist: Don't think so, no.
Come close to it?
I'd have to say no. I think I've come closer to crying -- which, as explained above, was more like a clenched-throat and pricking at the eyecorners than actual tears -- than I ever have to laughing at something I've read on here. But text isn't really a medium suited to funny stuff, is it?
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
That kind of affect doesn't happen to me anymore on TMO.
But that's good. Seethru was violent and unsustainable and adolescent. Things seemd to matter in a way I'm not sure was healthy. It's easy to feel wistful about it, but the predominant feelings I recall were a mixture of nausea, outrage and vainglorious triumph.
I don't think the third made up for the first two.
Also: you cannot be serious in coming up with songs from Cat Stevens and Mike Rutherford. That's just... so... drivetime.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: ben ]
No, I meant Yusuf Islam and Mike/The Mechanics as a joke, but when I looked up the lyrics for the latter, I actually thought it was pretty sophisticated and touching for a pop song...until he says he heard an echo of his Father's spirit in his newborn baby's tears.
Anyone Ever Wanked on TMO?
Poster fist: I think I once saw a picture of Victoria in her prom "dress" (skirt and top, plum coloured) and had to fiddle with my jeans zip for a while.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
But that's good. Seethru was violent and unsustainable and adolescent. Things seemed to matter in a way I'm not sure was healthy.
At the risk of making a serious point on this night of triviality, I'm not sure I agree with that. Not that I'm saying TMO should give everyone the fear all the time or anything but, if we go back to that tired old metaphor of a bunch of mates in the pub, shouldn't you wake up worried about a nasty comment you made or a fight you know is unresolved? Certainly, if the people involved were really close friends then I know I'd feel the pressure of a recklesly thrown but knowingly wounding comment bearing down on me the morning after. I suppose if you accept that then it depends how you view TMO and how close you are to the people on the boards.
I've just had egg & beans so watch out, lol!
I'm listening to David Sylvian's Brilliant Trees at the moment, so might cry while reading a post but the two won't necessarily be connected.
I'm not totally sure where my parents are. They were here when I went to the pub, but now they're gone.
I thought you'd like my opinion on the subject.
You may want to edit your w**king post! Before some tw@t quotes it! 
---------------------
quote:
Originally posted by Ringo:
I'm not totally sure where my parents are. They were here when I went to the pub, but now they're gone.
This confused me for a minute until I checked the usernames. You two really need to sort out those gifs.
Ben: your point about "participants" is well made.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
Poster fist: I think I once saw a picture of Victoria in her prom "dress" (skirt and top, plum coloured) and had to fiddle with my jeans zip for a while.
How old was she at the time, sir?
quote:
Originally posted by Samuelnorton:
How old was she at the time, sir?
lol-tastic.
And I got killed again in Max Payne.
quote:
Originally posted by Samuelnorton:
How old was she at the time, sir?
Legal, at least.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Sure there are rucks and stuff on TMO, some deeply felt - but Seethru was, I think, a different order of activity. It might not have felt that way to an observer, but to a participant - and all the "participants" I've spoken to about this agree - the stuff that was going down there was genuinely a matter of reputation and credibility. All of which seems kind of quaint now, which really underlines how different (for the better) things are.
It doesn't even make logical sense if things "mattered" more at a stage when most people hadn't met each other, and so it really was only an internet board.
I have now
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
I don't know what all this "how old was she" chuckling is about. I couldn't help it that the snake got stuck in the railings.
I was going to say something else, but "lol" will do for now.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
I don't know what all this "how old was she" chuckling is about. I couldn't help it that the snake got stuck in the railings.
Nooo, I'm only chuckling because of Rick (assumedly) unwittingly stepping into the breach left by Ben's post. If he did it on purpose then it's by far the funniest post Rick's ever made.
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
Nooo, I'm only chuckling because of Rick (assumedly) unwittingly stepping into the breach left by Ben's post. If he did it on purpose then it's by far the funniest post Rick's ever made.
Three minutes is a long time when you are speed-posting, Bamba old fellow. I was going to say something initially and held back, but once I saw Ben's post I couldn't help myself.
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
What about the other quarter? Will they just be disappointed?
I would go further and ask who the other quarter are.
Should those in the quarter that haven't fuelled your onanism be disappointed or relieved?
If you think I'm double-bluffing now to cover my shameful confession, think about it -- that was a nice pic of a pretty girl in an outfit that suited her, but hardly the stuff to jump-start my rusty loins.
I'm copying Sabian here for format, I don't count chatting to Herbs as part of my low.
Can I join?
Who from the forum have you wanked over recently?
quote:
Who from the forum have you wanked over recently?
Guess.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Who from the forum have you wanked over recently?
I haven't, not recently at least. Although I have wanked over people who post here and used to post here. That goes without saying doesn't it?
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by Gail:
So Ben, have you been wanking over all the girls but believe only 75% of them respect you anyway, or only wanking over 3/4 of them in the first place? Should those in the quarter that haven't fuelled your onanism be disappointed or relieved?
I a-agree entirely. 
Victoria. In fetching plum two piece. OK, pink two piece. Kovacs' snake.
quote:
Originally posted by Gail:
That's the first time I've ever seen a gay snake.
But, not the last...
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
I haven't, not recently at least. Although I have wanked over people who post here and used to post here. That goes without saying doesn't it?
You have to be specific, Jonesy - otherwise geezers'll think you're teasing t'udder to a rhythm in the key of queer.
Commonsense, simple commonsense.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: ben ]
And like, what if it was a gay snake? Do you have problems with gay snakes?
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
You have to be specific, Jonesy - otherwise geezers'll think you're teasing t'udder to a rhtyhm in the key of gay.Commonsense, simple commonsense.
And the little blacke boy laughs and laughs.
Or was it Ringo? I forget.
quote:
Originally posted by Gail:
Look Sabian, just because a snake's draped around two men whom you *assume* to be homosexual, it doesn't mean the snake is gay too, alright?
Besides, just look at them... You can just tell that all three of them have a lisp...
quote:
Originally posted by Gail:
And like, what if it was a gay snake? Do you have problems with gay snakes?
( 
)
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
You have to be specific, Jonesy
It's terrible but I can't remember. Actually that's a lie, although it could be true, so it's true. Any old stimuli will do when it comes to teasing out a response. Isn't that true of everyone? Or am I just a wanker. If so, so be it.
I think what I mean is, you go first.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
I was offered a go in a formula four car but I turned it down because I reckoned I'd end up dead.
You pussy bitch.
Sorry, I'm very drunk. New 'puter arrive then did it?
quote:
Jonesy:
It's terrible but I can't remember.
It's OK if it was about the wordz, 'Bob'.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: Gail ]
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
What if I were to say I'm cracking one out right now.
WEB CAMS!
quote:
Originally posted by Ringo:
You idiot!!
That was what everyone said, but I reckon if they'd had to go in with me driving, they'd have bottled it too.
I struggled on the track with the Ford Focus. The instructor kept screaming and crying. I really didn't feel confident in myself.
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
Sorry, I'm very drunk. New 'puter arrive then did it?
Like, weeks ago. It's very good.
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
Like, weeks ago. It's very good.
Well I'm sorry for not keeping bang up to date with all things Thorn related. I was just wondering what with the late night posting and all.
quote:
Originally posted by Ringo:
Maybe you should have phoned me, and let me go on instead.
I would have! I was thinking, it's so wrong for me to have this opportunity to do something I'd hate and want to end as soon as it began when other people would leap at the chance. I felt awful, but I reckon I'd feel worse when I span out in front of one of the saloons and the feeble plastic body of the car fell away around me leaving me to be crushed by 80mph of metal death machine.
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
Well I'm sorry for not keeping bang up to date with all things Thorn related.
Do you want me to add you to the weekly Thorn email newsletter mailing list?
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Have you finished, Mart?
It's all got out of hand.
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Ermm... lol@Rick?
Come on, you know you want to. Three references to my being funny in one night. Something's not quite right - maybe Ben can explain? Ben?
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
It's all got out of hand.
Run out of old socks have we Mart?
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
D has abandoned me for the next couple of days, having gone on a "murder weekend" with her sister. This means I'll probably end up lolling about in a heap of refuse
I'm doing this now that VP's out of the picture. I enjoyed leaving pizza crusts on the living room floor over night and smoking in my room while looking at porn. Man I know how to live.
I also just saw Rose for the first time in a month. She's looking well.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
quote:
Originally posted by Uber Trick:
My sister is asleep on the sofa bed beside me.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: ben ]
ben, jonesy, I don't know what you're worried about, give it a couple of hours and all that will remain is cute pics and x's.
There was a whole other paragraph to this post. And you'll never know what it said.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
And Jonesy: post something hardcore bitch, or I will invoke the [ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Oh yeah, my parody of Sweet's post about two girl-housemates giggling as they get it together was quite sexy to me. I also experienced some kind of proxy-tingle as I wrote a post recently about Ringo coldly screwing one of his conquests. I think the experience of writing dirty stuff and knowing forum girls would read it and on one level think about me writing it was faintly erotic.
This is getting very nerdy Nicholson Baker!
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
In all honesty, I can't find posts on here arousing.
That's what you say now. You should have kept a lid on that snake basket.
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
There was a whole other paragraph to this post. And you'll never know what it said.
I will preserve this chocolatebunism in quote form until you see fit to get your balls out like a real man.
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Are Ben and I the only people to wank over TMO posters?
Are you talking posts, pics or the very 'concept' of the poster?
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
I also experienced some kind of proxy-tingle as I wrote a post recently about Ringo coldly screwing one of his conquests.
Fuck Orlando Bloom. All you need is Ringo and his webcam.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Are you talking posts, pics or the very 'concept' of the poster?
I'm talking about wanking. Didn't someone here, somewhere, explain how London gave them the horn simply by talking about kites?
It's a straight up question, either you've wanked over people from the forum or you haven't. The tickle might have been physical, textual or 'conceptual'.
Or I might be drunk.
Sorry, sorry everyone.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by Uber Trick:
Hey sabian, how you doin'?
Fine, and you??
quote:
Originally posted by Ben:
consequences ever since Sabian first opened his pic gallery
I feel soo...... cheated...
EDIT:
Damn cider and my fat sausage fingers!
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: sabian ]
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
I saw that.
I'm seeing what it's like to be Jonesy.
So far: It fucking sucks.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Okay, well, I have, then.
Me too.
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
I'm seeing what it's like to be Jonesy.So far: It fucking sucks.
It's down hill from there.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Are you talking posts, pics or the very 'concept' of the poster?
Edited to suggest that we should stick to merely conceptualising. Even though I don't do that sort of thing.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
Wrote splendid 700 word post detailing ben's enjoyment of shitty backpacker lit. Deleted it because everyone hates me and every word I type. Left forum for three months..
Man. What kind of loser would live like this
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: Black Mask ]
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
Do you want me to add you to the weekly Thorn email newsletter mailing list?
No, I'm happy enough to see your life filtered through the regular spitefest that is "The Thorn & VP Show".
Do you know how long I've been waiting to post that or even see TMO? Well, do you? No, of course you fucking don't. You've got no idea. Bloody internet connection.
For the record, I've never wanked about anyone on TMO but I'm almost sure that, if I'd been to more meets, I would have.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Chocolatebuns you fucker - put that back up.
I don't see your masked intruder post anywhere, farmboy.
Are we not men?
Surprisingly, I'd say maybe ten (?) people on TMO would be able to answer IN THE AFFIRMATIVE.
" "
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
Surprisingly, I'd say maybe ten (?) people on TMO would be able to answer IN THE AFFIRMATIVE.
Atleast 20 over the past 3 years... I know of 12 off the top of my head...
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
I don't see your masked intruder post anywhere, farmboy.
Look, that was different - it was wierd and I have yet to apologise to Octavia.
Tonight's subject, on the other hand, you can post about right here and now.
quote:
Originally posted by sabian:
I know of 12 off the top of my head...
Not over the same person though, surely?
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Not over the same person though, surely?
quote:
Originally posted by sabian:
Atleast 20 over the past 3 years... I know of 12 off the top of my head...
O yeah?
1. me
2. rick
3. ringo
4. sabian
5. fish
6. pink
7. daveystoat
8. boyracer
9. raz
10. bandy
11. omikin
...
And, when did I become this strange faux-american
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
It can't be out of order for me to try and list some, surely:1. me
2. rick
3. ringo
4. sabian
5. fish
6. pink
7. daveystoat
8. boyracer
9. raz
10. bandy
11. omikin...
How about a list not including those who are in current relationships?
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Why?
Because I want to experience a Kovacian sexual frisson when I find out that... o never mind.
Can someone that knows summat about port forwarding and routers hit me with a message? Cheers
[/hijack]
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
It can't be out of order for me to try and list some, surely:
Your list misses out the fact that certain forites are multiple spunkers. Rick, Ringo and Bandy are - as far as I know - about neck and neck on that front. Surely that pushes all but one other person out of the so-called "top ten"?
quote:God... I'd hate to think of the list of cyber-spunk... Especially in the Jones hay-day!
Originally posted by ben:
Your list misses out the fact that certain forites are multiple spunkers.
quote:
Originally posted by sabian:
[hijack]
sabian48@yahoo.com
sabian48@hotmail.com
20621265 for ICQ
Can someone that knows summat about port forwarding and routers hit me with a message? Cheers
[/hijack]
quote:
Originally posted by the rest of the forum:
SILENCE....
Next time someone needs help, sod off! See if I ever help you cvnts again!
( )
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
I don't think Ben meant cyber.
No, I know... Just when he talked about multiples, I thought of the heady MSN days of yesteryear...
quote:
Originally posted by sabian:
Can someone that knows summat about port forwarding and routers hit me with a message? Cheers
Dude, that sort of thing just doesn't do it for me. Sorry.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: mart ]
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
multiple spunkers
Just thinking about this term makes me regret my request for candour.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Dude, that sort of thing just doesn't do it for me. Sorry.
Besides, I don't like gingers!
Ah, fuckit... I give up... If I was a pussy and a chump-daddy, I'd edit my posts above with a 'x'... But, I won't do that cuz I have class.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Your list misses out the fact that certain forites are multiple spunkers. Rick, Ringo and Bandy are - as far as I know - about neck and neck on that front. Surely that pushes all but one other person out of the so-called "top ten"?
No, because the list wasn't about women who have been spunked upon. It was about men who have done so. Ringo could have jaculated on Lickapaw, Fifichan, Meg and Modge and he'd still only count as ONE man.
Do some fucking "math".
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
Do some fucking "math".
You make it sound like a dirty word.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
You make it sound like a dirty word.
Well, it is a 4-letter word afterall!
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
Do some fucking "math".
lol. I'm with Ben on the definitions and accompanying "math", I'm afraid.
quote:
No, because the list wasn't about women who have been spunked upon. It was about men who have done so.
That being the case, your chart provides a totally warped and false idea of the amount of sexual activity that's gone on around this forum.
Does someone who's been in a stable relationship before, during and after their contact with Seethru/TMO really = someone who's had three or four different sexual partners they've met through the forum? I don't think so. To deny a distinction between the two cases seems capricious, to say the least.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
That being the case, your chart provides a totally warped and false idea of the amount of sexual activity that's gone on around this forum.Does someone who's been in a stable relationship before, during and after their contact with Seethru/TMO really = someone who's had three or four different sexual partners they've met through the forum? I don't think so. To deny a distinction between the two cases seems capricious, to say the least.
I didn't say one of them "=" another. I was reckoning how many men on this forum have probably jaculated over a woman who posts/posted on this forum.
That's all I was calculating. If you want a list showing intensity or commitment involved, you draw another fucking chart and get out your table of fucking cosines.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
You shot your muck over 0.5 of a woman?
Oh Rick.
I was assuming the 0.5 would have been awarded for getting myself into a position where I was theoretically able to undertake the said "task", but without actually doing so.
Fucking hell, I'm beginning to regret this. And if I even dare to "x" one of my posts you are going to hold it against me for ever, aren't you?
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
quote:It was meant to be a 'Money shot' but he missed and it went in her ear...
Originally posted by ben:
You shot your muck over 0.5 of a woman?
Oh Rick.
I'm the only hardcore one here, innit?
I shal regale you with some tales on the other thread.
I'm not that hardcore....
My PC is running very slowly. Is this because I have... *counts* ...seven porn site windows currently running? NB. I didn't open them. They opened themselves. It was a "porn trap".
Also, I feel tired and worthless.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: sabian ]
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
You shot your muck over 0.5 of a woman?
Oh Rick.
This made me roar with laughter.
Please archive this before it goes away...
I have been walking around the flat with a troubled sense of what did I do last night? trying to read the signs (two cushions back to back on floor, phone open and flashing, trousers folded on kitchen counter, interior of bin a modern-art composition of coffee, cans, a half-burned leaflet, an archive of clues) and asking myself, not too searchingly, what I remember...
Funny you can get that oh-shit after the party clean-up feeling after spending an evening on your own.
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
This made me roar with laughter.
quote:
Thorn's Jonesy Diary Pt. II
This made me want to punch you, several times, in the face.
quote:
Originally posted by Samuelnorton:
Even I think your suggestion that Ben is fucking his cosine is a bit below the belt, Ko.
This confirmed my suspicion that Rick has hired a comedy scriptwriter.
Thinking back to last night I imagine the forum as being like Neo, bending impossibly far backward, arms windmilling, as arcs of jissom shoot past him in 'bullet time'.
Several times.
On this thread.
Ben's last post being the crowner.
(btw isn't it jism not jissom?)
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
This confirmed my suspicion that Rick has hired a comedy scriptwriter.
Brr. I threw him out this morning. He didn't want to stay another night, the garden shed was a bit cold.
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Utterly typical that the most dignity-repellent thread of all time should run to nine whole pages.
Hmm. Make that ten.
It also says something that if I switch off the naziboy persona completely and sink in the opposite direction, I suddenly become funny and I am championed - without the merest hint of jealousy - as a "multiple spunker" in the same league as someone like Ringo. By Ben of all people.
quote:
Thinking back to last night I imagine the forum as being like Neo, bending impossibly far backward, arms windmilling, as arcs of jissom shoot past him in 'bullet time'.
Had you said this last night I might have been tempted to indulge in a bit of phoo. Sadly, I feel that the bad-taste vibe has faded just a little bit. Try again tonight.
quote:
Originally posted by Gail:
It's OK Rick, I didn't laugh at any of your posts.
Well, neither did I.
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
This made me want to punch you, several times, in the face.
I get that alot.
quote:
Originally posted by Uber Trick:
My sister is asleep on the sofa bed beside me.
What I Dreamed While I Was Asleep On The Sofabed And You Were All Talking On Here
It was a hot day. It had been hot all summer. I'd grown used to the tickle as a drop of sweat slithered down my back under my clothes. I'd grown used to it, but I'd never stopped hating it, like, you know, wasps and flying ants and the bastard sun making your freckles come out. Anyway.
I was wearing the denim skirt that had only cost £3 from the vintage store. When I rode my bike I had to hitch the stupid thing up, because it would bind my thighs together too tightly. It was a flattering skirt, the denim skirt, and I had worn it all summer since the day I got it.
And in the summer, well, sometimes it was too hot for underwear, and the skirt was the perfect skirt to wear without underwear, because it was knee-length and tight (no chance of blowing up in an up-breeze) and your secret knickerlessness would be known to no one. It was a good skirt.
The sun slanted into the ninth-floor flat and the fan did little more but whirl the sludgy porridge air around us. Seth was lying on the sofabed which was stretched out on the floor, and he grabbed my ankle as I went by and pulled me down. I tumbled down next to him and he gripped me from behind. I giggled and his right hand loosened its grip on my forearm and dropped down to the hem of the skirt. I could hear Macauley in the bedroom with Lisa, probably prancing around in her shoes and feathered hat.
Seth was biting at my neck, growling and pretending to be a wild forest bear or something, and I was giggling and struggling and his teeth were making shivers go in my arms, like it always did when someone bit my neck, and the little hairs were standing up. His right hand tugged at the hem of the skirt and yanked its tightness up a few inches. Then he moved his hand inbetween my thighs, which were pinned together by the tightness of the skirt, and started moving it up slowly.
'Look, don't', I said, serious now. 'Don't. Please.' He paid no attention, flat hand creeping up, side of his hand almost there now. I was all a-conundrumed, because, holy shit, man, Seth Green was trying to get it on with me, and I'd fancied him for like, EVER! But we'd only met about two hours previously, and I didn't want him to think I was a slag, and... and... I wasn't wearing any knickers, because it was so hot, and I was in the special skirt, and he would definitely think I was a slag if he found out I wasn't wearing any knickers, and... but... it was SETH GREEN, and I wanted to!
Then, because it was a dream, we got in a white van and drove to the zoo. The sun was hot, and we ate lollies called Twisters.
[ 13 September 2003: Message edited by: London ]
I'm gonna interview James St James!
HEY DISCO, DID YOU OWE ME A PARAGRAPH OF TEXT ON THE ABOVE AUTHOR BY ANY CHANCE?
quote:I don't remember this...should I?
Originally posted by ben:
Look, that was different - it was weird and I have yet to apologise to Octavia.
quote:
Originally posted by London:HEY DISCO, DID YOU OWE ME A PARAGRAPH OF TEXT ON THE ABOVE AUTHOR BY ANY CHANCE?
it will be in your inbox in the next hour.
quote:
Originally posted by London:
I'm gonna interview James St James!
:seething jealousy: