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» TMO Talk » Life » If you can't get your leg over then... (Page 2)

 
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Author Topic: If you can't get your leg over then...
dance margarita
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oh god i find that quite upsetting actually.

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Lickapaw#2
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Look, herbs said:

I think to keep our more sensitive ladies - ie those with eyes - we need sausages to indicate below that they too feel 'snail lady' post crosses a line into 'not big or clever' territory.

So if we need sausages to indicate our disapproval, then I posted lots of sausages. You know. To indicate, like... you know. Strong agreement.

Oh, come on, please don't leave me like this, you *****! Some other fucker post sausages!

Edit: I mean, look!

 -

I kindly and generously left that one in case somebody else wanted it! First page of Google Images!

Now get off your rumps and post sausages!

[ 12.10.2007, 08:42: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]

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Jimmy Big Nuts
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no, I don't think that's what we need to do. That's the kind of shit that has landed us in this whole mess in the first place.
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herbs

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[Mad]

I didn't mean post sausages, I meant that persons in posession of sausages (ie, men) should indicate their disapproval of 'snail lady'. They could do this in any way they choose - by drawing an angry face, fashioning a frown out of sausage meat, etc...

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Lickapaw#2
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Um, uh... I, uh...

B-but, look! That last picture!

A woman is being blinded by sausages, reflecting in a post-modern sort of a way the feeling behind the snail-lady joke on this thread, suggesting that the men who endorse such a joke collude in blinding women from seeing their equality.

See? [Frown]

[ 12.10.2007, 08:50: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]

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ralph

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[ 19.10.2007, 14:08: Message edited by: ralph ]

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dance margarita
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yeah well ralph youre just part of the problem, not part of the solution.

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Pepper
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quote:
Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts:
what's the opposite of a sausage fest? As in, lots of women, rather than a dearth of men, or 'sausages'.

Clam bake?
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Jimmy Big Nuts
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lol
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Jimmy Big Nuts
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is it okay to lol at that?
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Black Mask

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quote:
Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts:
he was killed though, about three months ago. Some clown dropped a bin over a footbridge near fife, and he was driving underneath it. bin went through the windscreen, he lost control and crashed into some stables.

That's quite an erotic image. That Benway, always thinking of the ladies.

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sweet

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Black Mask

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quote:
Originally posted by Lickapaw#2:
quote:
Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts:
I was thinking about that 'joke' the other day. I can't remember why exactly, but it crossed my mind, and I thought, you know, it does cross some magic line beyond even bad taste and offensiveness. I don't know. It's like when you see a picture of a car accident or somebody being killed, and the way the human body all of a sudden just becomes this pulpy meat, face all distorted and broken, guts strung out... it sort of makes you think about humans differently. They look worthless and pitiful in that state. And that 'joke' reveals something about the human mind that gives me a similar reaction. It's so base and empty that it reveals something about us. It's horrifying, but it's a reminder that we really are a bunch of animals.

You just jogged my memory - I heard that joke once. My then-boyfriend told me it. Somehow he thought I'd find it funny. I broke up with him not long after that.

He had a small scar between his eyes and told me once that it had happened in school when he'd heard a football or something bang against the window pane next to him, looked up, and then glass pane slipped inwards and fell on him, breaking on his head and leaving him with a large cut between his eyes. That made me laugh and he was offended.

So I don't know. Maybe we deserved eachother.

Sorry, what joke are we talking about here?

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sweet

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Black Mask

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quote:
Originally posted by Lickapaw#2:


Edit: I mean, look!

 -


My God! It's a post-mortem photo of Macandrew!

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sweet

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Nathan Bleak
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Lady snail made me recoil a bit, but then I felt like a hypocrite for thinking that was too far. I don't know.

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Jimmy Big Nuts
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I wouldn't say it was 'too far', just that it's a pretty dark image, moreso than what you get with your average joke. If it popped up in Dr. Who then it would be too far, but you know. In the playground, nothing is sacred.


Anyway, the 'joke', BM, is

Q:"why do women have legs?"
A:"have you seen the mess a snail makes?"

[ 17.10.2007, 08:18: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]

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Tilde
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lol
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Lickapaw#2
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Or the version I heard:

"How do you find a Thalidamyde woman?

Follow a snail trail."

As I said, not my words [Mad]

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Jimmy Big Nuts
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your version is best lickapaw.
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Lickapaw#2
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It's not mine!

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Pepper
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I thought Thalidomyde generally caused a shortness of limbs? If that's so, Lickapaw's joke is the worst.
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Nathan Bleak
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Yeah, it doesn't work at all. Lickapaw needs to sort her shit out.

I remember one time at university, I there was this chick I wanted to fuck who was a bit of a god-squadder and somehow I volunteered to some fundraiser she was doing with her church mates one Sunday afternoon. As you can imagine it was pretty grim, and pretty tense and I was pretty drunk when I turned up. For the most part it was pretty tense, and I didn't really feel I could talk to anyone there. You know, it was all like earnest types and wholesome guys who you sort of get the impression have already decided that you're not good enough for their friend. Like that campaign advisor who has to chuck Travis Bickle out the door in Taxi Driver. So anyway, it was all a bit stilted and awful. We were clearing stuff away and one of the guys grins in this "Heh, watch me piss of the women" way that suggests he thinks he's flirting, and he goes "Hey - hey - why did God give women legs!" All the girls roll there eyes and indulge him: "Go on! Why did God give women legs?" And I butted in "Hey I know this one - Have you ever seen the mess a snail makes?!" Silence, obviouslty. And, naturally I started backtracking, "It was his joke!" I said, pointing. And everyone kept staring at me. And then he goes "I was going to say 'so she can get from the washing machine to the cooker'". Yeah. So anyway. He actually married the girl in question in the end. They live in Crawley now, which is, like, way shitter than Oxford.

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Nathan Bleak
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Christ, Misc wasn't kidding when he said people were sick of this kind of thing, eh.

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London

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Whenever me and my friends used to do an impression of a 'misogynist' we'd just put on a really loud man-voice and go 'SO THEY DON'T LEAVE SNAILTRAILS, HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW' *horrible, guffawing laughter*. That did the trick every time. It's a shit joke, people are shit, men are awful, the end.
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ralph

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[Frown]
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Nathan Bleak
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I had a scary moment in The Bedford Tavern in Croydon once, when some guy collared me as I was coming out the toilets and started showing me pictures of his kid and the kid's mother, who was black. Having established "so, you can see I'm not a racist", he started reeling off jokes like "What do you call a black woman who has an abortion? A crimestopper!?! LOL!!" Of course, as freakanomics lays out, there is a correlation between the legalisation of abortion and the crime rate 15 years down the line, so there's a sociological truth to the joke, even if it does assume that a black woman is always going to be underprivliged. If he amended his joke to "What do you call a woman who lacks the means to provide for her child, and the neccesary means to improve her social mobility and is lacking a suitable support network to help her cope with the massive responsibility and consequently has an abortion? A crimestopper!", then you might have something economists will laugh at.

[ 17.10.2007, 11:47: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]

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Nathan Bleak
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Having said all that, my favourite joke of the last few years is...

"My dog's got no dictionary."

"Really? How does it spell terrible?"

Which I just love, but no-one else seems to really get it. I told it at Christmas one time and everyone there was like "Surely it should be "How does it spell?" "Terrible" and I was trying to explain that it wasn't just a surreal retread of the older joke, but a pun that pivotted on the listeners knowledge of the older joke. I nearly drove myself mad trying to explain that after a bottle of port.

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London

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That's a cute joke! Are there any more? I love jokes except for the snailtrails one.
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Nathan Bleak
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No. [Frown]

That's the only joke I know. That's why it's my favourite.

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mart
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My wife's gone to the West Indies.
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Nathan Bleak
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Of her own accord?

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Jimmy Big Nuts
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did you make her?
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Jimmy Big Nuts
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lol
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jonesy999

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I put 'lol' in a text message the other day by accident. When I realised my mistake, I desperately wanted to burn down the building down in which the recipient worked, melting his phone in the process but I can't travel faster than orange light. [Frown]
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jonesy999

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No, I hate Japanese cars. LOL>
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Jimmy Big Nuts
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lol
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