posted
i have this dream of sharing hot salty chips with ben. looking out over the yorkshire coast, dipping our chips into the thick mushy peas. giggling. until there are only enough peas for one chip, the one in my hand.
i remember the sound of the air rushing past my ear, the explosion on my jaw, lights dimming.
i guess that's what happens when you steal the last of the mushy peas from a man who can knock out boars.
Posts: 1913
| IP: Logged
posted
I'm very indifferent towards Ben. But I didn't have to post three times to tell everyone about it. Which is why I assumed (and still do believe) that it was an attempt to rile up the forum.
quote:Originally posted by ralph: That wasn't attempted trolling. Apparently I don't feel the same way about ben as the rest of you do.
Well, you know. He was frequently world class funny on TMO, and was almost Benway-level when it came to skewering various types of cultural malaise. He ruthlessly and accurately pulled Snorton's personality apart on several occasions, which was brilliant - to the point where I was describing the process to non-TMO people just the other day.
At worst he was deliberately contrary, but exasperating as that was it's the kind of thing that brings threads to life. Although, like Black Mask he seemed to have built up some kind of hatred for my wife which I never understood. That doesn't really affect him as a poster, though. He clearly added a lot of character; hard to see how anyone can deny that his absence lessens the boards to a degree, whereas when ralph starts posting on a thread it feels like two other people have left.
Posts: 13758
| IP: Logged
posted
Not that I'm totally gay for ben or anything, but it's something to talk about isn't it. And if he sticks his head back round the door, it might warm his heart to see that.
Posts: 13758
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Do I hate Octavia?
Well, you know. It's your prerogative and everything; I don't want to act as though she somehow deserves special treatment like Bandy/Scrawny used to, but it was more like just a sense of distaste, you know? Like berating her for posting up a picture of an ugly. You know - when it's the kind of thing people do all the time to suddenly turn on one person for it suggests that you personally dislike them.
That's the kind of thing I was thinking of, anyway. It's just an observation. I used to get the impression that Sidney really hated me and she claims that I was wrong about that, so who knows.
Posts: 13758
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: His victimization of Snorton was a bit much to stomach, sometimes.
It always got rolled down to Harlequin in the end, as well. Like a father beating a son who goes on to beat the dog. A tragic cycle.
Posts: 13758
| IP: Logged
posted
Yeah but you always got a sense he did what he did because he thought it was going to do them good. Y'know, you might not agree with his methods, but I don't think you can really question his good intentions.
Posts: 12211
| IP: Logged
posted
He did name one of his kids Samuel didn't he? However much he used to victimise snorton there was clearly some affection there.
Posts: 13758
| IP: Logged
posted
Naming him Samuel... that's weird, isn't it? Maybe it makes the beatings more enjoyable for him. 'Him' being 'ben', obv. There's no way anyone could enjoy taking a beating from that great, scaly, Northern beast.
posted
I don't know. Getting a beating from Ben would feel really deserved. He'd convince you it's for the best. Bring you in real tight with one arm and pummel your head until the hair fell out. He'd be paternal and stern. Say things like 'this hurts me more than it hurts you' and chuckle if you suggest it would be better to switch roles, then. It would cane but you'd be thinking about how authoritave his chunky knit sweater is.
posted
I think it'd be more like... you'd be chased, crying through his house, not entirely sure what you'd done wrong. The same things that were OK to say and do yesterday were suddenly the idiotic opinions of a cultural dupe. He'd grab you round the waist, and bundle you head first into a cloth sack. Drag you down into the cellar, bouncing you off the wooden staircase. Hoist the sack into the air on a specially designed pulley system and then start wailing on you with a cricket bat bellowing incoherencies that contradicted everything he said the last time this happened.
Posts: 13758
| IP: Logged
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic