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We've got an upstairs room booked above a pub near the office. Due to spending cuts we're all having to bring stuff for it. I've been picked to bring the plastic sheeting, duct tape and bleach.
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I'm not looking forward to ours. It's tomorrow. It's a sit-down meal in a restaurant near London Bridge. Apparently party games are planned. Lots of the girls are having the afternoon off to go and get ready. I'm not going to be drinking much, which I feel may dampen any latent enthusiasm. It will be a question of working out how early I can sneak off.
Bit tricky being the boss. You have to go, to show 'team leadership', but know said team won't really enjoy themselves until you've gone.
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froopy usually lets us start the Christmas season today (the day after his birthday), but I've gone and extended his birthday until tonight because of some scheduling issues, so I can't discuss holiday plans yet.
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quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: What's everybody else doing? Anything exotic? Anyone avoiding theirs? Christmas? Yes? No?
I'm gonna fuck the receptionist in the pooper cuz she's preggers and I have enough respect for her man not to poke his kid's head with my cock.
Then, I'm going to pound a bottle of Spiced Rum and smoke an 8th with the IT guy cuz he's a square and I think it'll be funny.
Then, I'm going to knock the head of learning's teeth out cuz he's a prick and deserves it.
And, finally, I'm going to put the finance lady's head through her computer monitor and steal her money which I'll use to buy everyone a kebab!
Yay for my first office party!
-------------------- Evil isn't what you've done, it's feeling bad about it afterwards... Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. Posts: 3793
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quote:Originally posted by Amy: 'cause I'm not working. Go me!!!
It's work shy people like you that put us into this situation Amy! Shame on you. Shame on you.
-------------------- Evil isn't what you've done, it's feeling bad about it afterwards... Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. Posts: 3793
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-------------------- Evil isn't what you've done, it's feeling bad about it afterwards... Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. Posts: 3793
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Our do on Friday was a strange affair. The company had hired a restaurant near London Bridge, and we had a big sit-down do. But one of the directors had hilariously hired some spoof waiters to play tricks on us. Before the meal, canapes were handed round comprising a slice of carrot, a jelly baby and a hula hoop. Imagine the hilarity as people wondered whether to eat them out of politeness, or think 'fail'.
Then during the meal an 'engineer' kept disappearing under tables to do some 'repairs' and 'finding' a pair of giant pants. And a 'staggeringly drunk' 'sommelier' would come round with some wine, called Piss or something, and fill up our glasses. Most people didn't realise they were all an act, and got confused. Making the joke not really, er, funny apart from for the director who organised it all.
But the food was nice, and there was the requisite amount of unpleasant flirting, so that was a plus.
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That's not just a meme or nothing, I mean, come-on this guy is just a fucking idiot. I imagine if your the director of a company your life has got to be about 50 times more pleasant than your average Joe. I don't want to start getting into the mathematics of how much more fun this guys life could be, but this idea that maybe some dude who's having a really hard time with it at the moment decides to show for the works do. I mean, yeah, they'll be some food and a few drinks and, you know it might not be that bad after all. So when you get there, you're pulled up on stage while your director takes a shit. Takes a shit onto a paper plate. Winds back his hand and smushes it into your face like a cream pie. Yeah, you fuck. There's your fucking christmas party. A great big shit. In your face. A ha ha ha.
[ 16.12.2008, 03:44: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I imagine if your the director of a company your life has got to be about 50 times more pleasant than your average Joe.
You're going to have to show me your working to let me know how you arrived at this figure, because I've just done this calculation myself and arrived at the opposite conclusion.
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quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I imagine if you're the director of a company your life has got to be about 50 times more pleasant than your average Joe.
I'm the director of a company and my life is fucking miserable. Mind you, I don't actually have any employees apart from myself, and I have to keep buying him pints to keep him happy, freeloading bastard.
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Yeah, to be fair, if I found myself hiring someone to crawl under a table and produce a pair of prop pants in the name of hilarity I'd shoot myself in the face. Except the gun would just fire a stick and flag with 'bang' on it.
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