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I've just gotten back from the roof, having painted 'Alive Inside' on a bedsheet and hung it off the outside of the building. All I can do now is wait.
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To anyone that's still receiving this, Milton Keynes is now a no-go area. The whole town is covered by at least three inches of snow and more light-to-moderate showers are rolling in. The situation is desperate here and we're all bracing ourselves for the worst, but for your own sakes stay away. There is nothing you can do for us now.
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Some people across the road have rolled three balls of snow, each of different sizes. They have then stacked these up with the largest at the bottom, the medium sized one on top of that and finally then smallest one at the summit.
They have then adorned this sculpture with some twigs and stones. I assume that the snow has driven them crazy and they are trying to write a similar message to you Thorn, but have forgotten how to use language and are attempting to get safety by shapes. I pity for them, but I can't risk my own life by leaving my computer.
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Actually, I know this behaviour you're talking about. Ive seen it with my own eyes. When cut off from society, it's well documented that people revert to the level of savages. In these situations, it's very common for them to develop a primitive religion based around the presence of some kind of snow deity which must be appeased by rolling snow into as large a ball possible. Sometimes these balls are then stacked two or three high and decorated to look like a crude image of the snow god.
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Things sound pretty desperate for some of you out in the provinces, but today London was the bollocks. First we went to Peckham Rye and built a massive snowman (nothing theatrical, dang), then an epic snowball fight where I was ganged up on and had to assert my authority as patriarch to compel the Masketeers to desist. Thereafter, I face-planted them both in the icy, icy snow. We came home for a breakfast of sausage sandwiches and hot choclolate, dried out and then headed off to Telegraph Hill for sledging, sliding and falling over. We got back and had more hot drinks, watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles, and Liz baked a sponge. When the oven was clear I put in some pork to slow roast, we'll eat that after the late afternoon snow-session. I hope London Transport don't get their shit together by tomorrow, I'm enjoying myself too much. I need another day off to wind down.
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A car just skidded on the road outside my office, but the driver skilfully managed to regain control before anything unpleasant happened. It could've been really nasty though. I've seen children walk across that stretch of road in the past.
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I'm sorry dang, but your pedant-ometer appears to be iced up. 'After' is a subordinating conjunction and consequently 'for twenty years' can only refer to the second clause ("heaviest snowstorm..."). In other words, The Times is correct and gramatically there's no way that sentence can mean what you're trying to force it to mean.
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But Britain battles on! Despite the white peril menacing the very fabric of society as we know it, my visit to the dentist just now was in the very best spirit of our plucky little island.
It was, quite literally, a time for a stiff upper lip. I had to lie back and think of England as she proceeded to berate me for not flossing, gave me an upper right occlusal, and told me I need to see the hygienist as soon as possible.
We may be snowed in, people, but we can still get our teeth polished. A pearly white smile in the face of devastating adversity.
Come on Britain! Grin and bear it. This could be our finest hour.
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About an hour ago, people in our office who "have far to travel" were allowed to leave. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still here. Despite the fact the campus is all but deserted and there's now nobody left for us to actually support. Plus the temperatures are dropping and the icey slush which would be just an irritation is actually now becoming more dangerous on the roads. So I really don't understand why I and three other people in the office are still here.
I mean, I didn't think it was really right for anyone to go, but if people are being allowed to go, I don't see why I should be excluded from that.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Why do I get the impression that ralph is missing the point with a lot of these posts?
No, I get the point. My responses are mostly due to some of the comments made about me prior to me even posting on this thread.
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So, wait, because some people anticipated things your would say, based on actual observations of things you've said before, you're now carrying out some kind of double irony whereby you make the exact kind of comments you were predicted to make in reply to comments which were, in themselves, a patiche of the kind of thing you would have taken the piss out of in the first place?
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One of my children just went outside and a death flake propelled itself right into his eye. I brushed it out with my bare hands. There seems to be no lasting effects, but, you know, just wanted to say thank God he's still alive.
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: So, wait, because some people anticipated things your would say, based on actual observations of things you've said before, you're now carrying out some kind of double irony whereby you make the exact kind of comments you were predicted to make in reply to comments which were, in themselves, a patiche of the kind of thing you would have taken the piss out of in the first place?
Yes. I probably wouldn't have said anything otherwise. You have noone to blame but yourseleves.
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I can't handle being PENNED up like this any more. It's driving me insane. It's dark outside so I can't see if the white devil is still falling from the sky, but I just don't care any more. I'm leaving this hellhole. I'm going out into this insanity and attempting to struggle through.
If I don't post tomorrow, you can all assume I've died.
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I'm going to risk taking a train home soon. I have no idea how it's going to stop if there's ice on the line. I should imagine it'll skid all the way down to Plymouth (which I reckon is down-hill from here) before coming to a hard stop at the buffers.
I'll have to bail out as it passes Newbury and just hope I land on something soft (like the portly gentleman who picks up rubbish from the platform) rather than rolling helplessly alongside the tracks, picking up ever more snow and crisp packets until I'm left resembling an abominable snowball sponsored by WalkersŪ.
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Despite the few of us who were actually in the office today all living within about 10-15 minutes walk we were told we could leave at lunchtime - cue 2 hours in the pub and now sitting at home in the warm drinking whisky macs and keeping fingers crossed for more snow Posts: 2337
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It's pretty dire here too now. After chowing down on Steak and kidney pie, beans and mash and then having a nap, I had to brave heading out into the dry to catch a bus to the pub where I am now internetting and drinking guinness, and with the prospect of all the tram and bus systems acting normally, I can't see how I am not going to be able to get home in relative ease later.
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Apparently the local Oldies station shares ralph's opinion. They spent a full five minutes this evening making fun of the London "wimps."
I remember living in Austin, Texas when it snowed one year. The police department spokesperson sent out a message that anyone in an accident was only to call them if it was "life or death," because they couldn't handle the volume from all the people freaking out and crashing on the snowy roads.
I'd welcome a snowstorm that kept us housebound but didn't knock out our power and cable. Enjoy your forced vacation!
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Well, it appears to have cleared up today... I can only assume that The snow had no resistance to the bacteria in our atmosphere to which we have long since become immune. Once they had breathed our air, germs, which no longer affect us, began to kill them. The end came swiftly. All over the world, their machines began to stop and fall. After all that men could do had failed, the snow was destroyed and humanity was saved by the littlest things, which God, in His wisdom, had put upon this Earth.
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Good old God. He really does think of everything, doesn't He. I can't actually think of anything He hasn't already thought of. Filthy old bastard.
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