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What ailments, symptoms and general malfunctions do you walk around with on a daily basis?
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On my left hand index finger the nail has kind of bulged up like there's something underneath it, like some sort of blister, it hurts sometimes if I bang it on something, which is rare so it doesn't bother me too much, but it does look slightly deformed. Compared to the finger on the other hand it's maybe 30% larger at the tip. I haven't bothered going to the doctor about it because it seems kind of trivial, so I just live with it. It's been like that for a few years now and doesn't seem to be getting worse.
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I've got male pattern baldness, or whatever it's called, and it's that really stupid version where you just lose a patch from the back of your head - like a monk - and the rest carries on growing completely normally.
I wouldn't mind the version where your hairline just keeps receeding back till you end up with just the side bits still growing - like a clown - or even if the whole lot just fell out. But this is just rubbish.
Also, it's in a position where I can't even see it myself, so I glance in the mirror and think, yep, hair looks fine. It's only when I go for a haircut and the barber holds a mirror up at the end and I suddenly go, well, who the fuck's baldy turnip is that? Oh.
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I'm letting my hair grow at the moment. It feels like I'm giving a knackered old farm horse one last run around the paddock before I shotgun it in the face and turn it into glue.
Other than that... there's something badly wrong with my right knee where if I can't stretch it out every twenty minutes, it starts getting really painful. If that happens, then when I stand up it crunches so horribly and audibly that people nearby have frowned, looked around and asked 'What the hell was that'.
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: I wouldn't mind the version where your hairline just keeps receeding back till you end up with just the side bits still growing - like a clown
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Not full sized ones, mind. The top two are regular sized, and the lower ones are small, about the size of your little finger nail. Only one of them has a proper nubbin bit in it.
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I've been avoiding posting on topic to this thread on the basis that it would make me sound like a creaky old man:
I've had joint issues since being a teenager, mostly caused by my early obsession with competitive cycling, which now manifests in creaky knees to go along with a seemingly vast complement of fading road rash scars. My ankles make clicking sounds and ache enough that I end up taking pain pills about once a month so I can get to sleep. The joints in my hands and wrists are also starting to become problems.
Then there's the recurring back and neck pain, which is probably stress-related. It's triggered a series of headaches over the past few months lasting three and four days at a stretch, though I do have a bottle of some rather nice muscle relaxants which I can use in case of emergency.
What else? Then there's the bump. It's on my head, left side, midway back. It's about a half-inch around and no more than an eighth inch tall, and the doctor who last checked it out said it was probably nothing to worry about, some sort of thing that would probably go away on its own. That was about 8 years ago, and it hasn't gone away. Though it hasn't gotten any larger during that time either, it does hurt a bit when I press on it. So I don't press on it and try not to think it's the tip of an iceburg-like growth that's eating my brain, though this would of course explain a lot about my postings here over the past seven years.
What's strange is that despite this list of maladies, I would generally describe myself as being in excellent health. Which makes me wonder how many limbs I would have to lose before I conceded that something about my health might just be a bit less than optimal.
But at least I'm doing well in the hair retention department. Growing mine a bit longer in anticipation of a move toward west coast academia. I've also started a goatee, which works so well for that evil academic look.
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posted
A good post there Froopy. Exactly the kind of thing I was looking for.
Other things: my little toe on my left foot, the nail is growing funny, like it's too thick on one side.
I too have a bump on my head, although it's where I nearly knocked myself unconcious at Romford skatepark.
I think I've probably fucked my hip joints up through skating although they still work at the moment, if I put my legs in certain postitions it's quite painful.
Also I feel generally sick quite a lot, especially when I'm forced to go on a journey and be in a train or a tube or someone elses car, or in someone else's office for a period of time - or staying at other peoples houses, I hate that and I always end up feeling like shit. I think it's mostly anxiety induced, kind of claustrophobia I guess.
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I once bumped into my aunt at a supermarket and I cracked some stupid joke that invloved me having a third nipple. She got all excited and told me she had extra nipples too, below the normal ones but they were small, like a cats. Thats when my face dropped and I told her I was only joking. Ahhh, what a superbly uncomfortable moment that was.
Oh. I have terrible skin. You name the malady, I've rocked it at one stage or another. Well, except the big C. But in light of Benways AIDS I wouldn't want to steal his thunder (you're welcome Dr B).
quote:Originally posted by squeegy: I once bumped into my aunt at a supermarket and I cracked some stupid joke that invloved me having a third nipple. She got all excited and told me she had extra nipples too, below the normal ones but they were small, like a cats. Thats when my face dropped and I told her I was only joking. Ahhh, what a superbly uncomfortable moment that was.
Haha! This is a brilliant story, especially "small, like a cats"
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I have a slight herniation of one of my vertebra (C6 to be specific). The doctor didn't thin kit was serious enough to operate on (thank god) but he also said it would more than likely go away on its own (it has not) so basically any time I have to life something weighing more than a few pounds it feels like someone is sticking an ice cold knife into my shoulder blade.
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While shopping for provisions with a housemate, in 'baked goods' we came across a packet of ‘fork-split muffins’. As this sounded a bit rude, housemate leaned over to my ear and said in a loud stage whisper ‘well, part my flaps’. Imagine my amusement, and housemate’s horror, when the owner of the ear turned out not to be me but a total stranger, who just stared at housemate, agape. Still makes me snigger.
As for physical disfigurement: Horrid claw-like toenails on four toes Inwardly pronating feet which mean I have to wear ‘special’ inserts in my shoes Weird dry itchy bits of skin on my shins Knackered right knee from mild skiing accident years ago Dodgy hips, which hurt after walking for a while and have to be clicked back into place. Gross Bad back Weird hair that grows out of the front of my neck, and I don’t notice has regrown to six inches long until I’m in a high-level meeting with big cheeses, when I can’t resist pulling it out, to general consternation Pretty constant acid stomach. Zantac has been my saviour. Plus: pregnancy-related conditions of stuffy nose, bleeding gums and remarkable constipation. None of which count really.
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quote:Originally posted by ralph: any time I have to life [sic] something weighing more than a few pounds it feels like someone is sticking an ice cold knife into my shoulder blade.
This assumes you've already ruled out the possibility you're being stalked by a raving lunatic with refrigerated cutlery.*
* true or not, this could easily become a starting point for a future season of dexter.
posted
Nice to know I'm not the only shambling physical wreck:
Chronic back problems caused by a prolapse of my C3 vertebrae about 8 years ago while weightlifting, and the resulting spinal surgery.
Hip misalignment caused by the above, my hips push over to the right a bit because when they operated on my back they just carved part of the dislodged vertebrae away instead of removing it, every morning I lie on my back and swing my knees to the right to clunk my hips back into alignment.
Long term issues in both knees thanks to football and martial arts when younger, most notably repeated hyperextension of both knees while doing martial arts, both creak, pop and seize up painfully in cold/damp weather.
Chronic problems with my right shoulder due to a suspected rotator cuff injury while weightlifting many years ago, attempting to put too much strain on my shoulder with my hands raised above my shoulders (lat pulldown machine or similar) cause the shoulder to 'pop' and then be virtually unusable for a couple of weeks.
Recurring neck issues as a knock on effect from the back issues.
Hammer toes on both feet, one of which was operated on when I was 16 (big toe on left foot) and as a result is so weak that I regularly sprain it if I tread on it wrongly.
Baldness I guess if we're counting that.
Two fingers on my left hand only have about 80% bend after a goalkeeping accident about 6 months ago, the knuckles of both are still a little disfigured but apparently they'll settle down in time, allegedly..
Oh and crapped out sinuses, my sense of smell leaves a lot to be desired, which can be both a good or bad thing depending on the smell in question..
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quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: So it seems that if you want a fully functional body, sport and exercise should be avoided at all costs.
agrees
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