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I was recently asked this by someone and didn't have a ready answer. I couldn't think of a single piece of advice I had been given that had really stuck in my mind, I think this is partly because I don't like listening to advice and only do so half heartedly to humour the advice giver whilst believing that actually I know best. The only things which I could really recall weren't so much advice as random comments that had struck a chord with me, enough to embed themselves in my memory.
Example: My Dad in a conversation I was having with him about being married to his wife (my mum) for 30 years on the occasion of their 30th wedding anniversary.
Me: So, wow, thirty years huh? that's a long time Dad: No, not really. It's not long at all... Me: *shiver*
Another time I was talking to an ex's Grandfather, I think in his 80s and getting infirm.
Him (suddenly coherent and serious) Never get old, son, never get old.. Me: brrrr
So, the things that have stuck in my head are both to do with aging and the speed at which time passes.
What's the best piece of advice you've ever received, or, alternatively a small piece of dialogue that has stuck in your brain?
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My dad gave me hell once, back when I was working outside Colehill middle school. He cuffed me round the head and yelled "you don't take the money and give them the vials yourself! That way anyone watching's got the whole deal. Send them round the corner to your mate. That's what he's there for." Seemed harsh at the time, but following that advice kept me in the game long after my peers were locked up.
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My od chap said to me once, "McDirts, old boy, never, ever wear a pair of pleated trousers, dreadful, dreadful adornment." I followed that advice slavishly and now I'm the Earl of Pembroke, so there must be something in it.
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A very wise man once told me to keep it tight. That's probably the best advice I've been given. That and 'head for the Ghost'.
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I was sitting at a bar in Cambridge years back, drinking a beer and eating a sandwich. There was a man in his early 60s sitting to my left, watching the room with a glass in his hand. Without provocation, he turns to me and offers what I can only guess was what he thought to be the sage advice of experience. Which is to say, he turned to me and said, "Get as much pussy as you can while you're young. As much as you can."
He didn't say anything after that. I finished my sandwich, fairly sure it was a conversation I didn't want to pursue.
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Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
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quote:Originally posted by Tilde: I think this is partly because I don't like listening to advice and only do so half heartedly to humour the advice giver whilst believing that actually I know best.
Isn't this the case with everyone though? No matter how misguided, we all think that we're doing the right thing at the right time? Giving advice isn't about the recipient, it's about the giver making a case for either their own regret or their own actions.
I can't remember any advice I've ever been given, ever, that I didn't immediately drag to the Recycle Bin in my brain.
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quote:Originally posted by Tilde: I think this is partly because I don't like listening to advice and only do so half heartedly to humour the advice giver whilst believing that actually I know best.
Isn't this the case with everyone though? No matter how misguided, we all think that we're doing the right thing at the right time? Giving advice isn't about the recipient, it's about the giver making a case for either their own regret or their own actions.
I can't remember any advice I've ever been given, ever, that I didn't immediately drag to the Recycle Bin in my brain.
I guess so, I've never really sounded it out before so I don't know other peoples views on it. Great so, advice=pointless then.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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My mate once told me to always pull out in plenty of time when overtaking on a motorway. This is the only advice I have ever found useful. Not that it's much use to me now.
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I remember 10 years ago in Hollywood, we did some good and we did some real bad stuff. But the Butthole Surfers said, It was better to regret something you did than something you didn't do. Yeah, we were young, but we were looking, looking, looking for the deep kick. Yeah, seen them come, seen them go. And I feel like getting close to you
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You don't do too badly with a few friends around you. That wasn't advice I've been given, that's advice I'm giving, to you losers for free. Have a few mates.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
Even if you have to download them off the internet.
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quote:Originally posted by Tilde: Another time I was talking to an ex's Grandfather, I think in his 80s and getting infirm.
Him (suddenly coherent and serious) Never get old, son, never get old..
Old people are such miserable fuckers.
Maybe if they bothered to pad out their sunset years with something more psychically nourishing than the Paul O'Grady Show they'd feel a little more positive about circumstances.
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Hey Tilde. I think this is a great idea for a thread and was hoping the collective wisdom of Team O! would converge into a helpful - say - 12-point plan to help me sort out my life. There's still time.
Best couple of bits of advice I ever heard/saw were: 1/ Slogan on the t-shirt of a 9yo Spanish girl in Plaza Sol in Madrid; Be Legendary.
Not sure if she even knew what the words meant, but the sentiment is a fine one. Worth all of us post-it-noting to our workstations, yes?
2/ Re. the old novel-writing escapade - not quite a piece of advice, but Black Mask once said something that stayed with me ever since (in addition to the legendary cancer-granny-rape gag) which was that, with a novel you only need to hit the nail on the head once. You could have a long, productive career churning out book after book or - if you're a mix of spawny and inspired - you can produce something that towers over everything else you (or your peers) will ever do. Not that I think that this is what I have in the can right now, but the possibility is both succulent and exhilerating. Good work Mask.
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I'm a bit gutted that no one has mentioned my advice re: Pants. I'm pretty sure that shortly after I offered that advice for free, that Benway got out of his bedsit and Jonesy fathered twins.
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quote:Originally posted by Tilde: I'm a bit gutted that no one has mentioned my advice re: Pants. I'm pretty sure that shortly after I offered that advice for free, that Benway got out of his bedsit and Jonesy fathered twins.
Yes! I offer this advice around like it is my own, safe in the knowledge that none of my mates here will likely be a lurker on TMO. In fact I went and got new pants at the beginning of the month for the fresh-start effect that it provides. Good on you ~
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I met a guy called Eric from California who gave me some good advice.
He said that he wasn't interested in any touchy feely stuff leading up to sex and basically as soon as I spread my legs he'd be ready to penetrate me. However, he advised that this was only if I could handle his length and girth and if I couldn't then I should consult my parents and get their judgement call.
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when tilde and I were in Romford shooting 'trucks of death 3', we had planned an incredible final shot. We'd climbed up on top of the compactor behind Clinton's Cards, where I was going to pull a reversed M-80 Kickflip to 720 gingersnap. We'd heard of a crew near Bristol who had apparently pulled one off, but Tilde's mate reckoned they were bullshitting it, trying to get the UK Peralta scouts to turn up at their half pipe. We figured if we could put that shit on camera, we'd be def certs for the Pepsi Max/Gola Xtreme Essex 06.
Riding high on some cheap speed and with only a few hours before sunset, we were both really pumped for this final trick. I'd had to tie up my wrist due to a fucked Sal Flip off his mum's Micra, and I wasn't sure if I could actually do it. I was shitting it, fair play, but I couldn't back out. These chicks that we'd blazed up with at memorial gardens were hanging around; half watching, half waiting for us to finish so they could get another spliff. From the top of the compactor, I could see them sitting on the ground, knees pulled in, hair absent mindedly being twirled. I knew that if I could pull this shit off, I'd be in with the one who smelt like cut grass. I tightened the bandage and held the board in my right hand. The sky was glowing orange, the sound of the saturday shoppers was dying.
I went through the trick in my head, think about how I would need to twist my body while I was in the air. Tilde was kneeling behind me, looking down into the viewfinder of the HD camera. A few deep breaths. I thought I could see the gently heaving breasts of my girl there. One foot in the air. Then, I felt the most gentle grip around my ankle. It wasn't forceful, but it held me frozen. 'don't do it' Tilde said. He was only half looking up from the camera. 'don't do it - nobody has ever survived a reversed M-80 Kickflip to 720 Gingersnap'.
I tried to pull away, but he jerked me back. I saw something in his eyes... it wasn't fear exactly.. more like a calm urgency. I'd never seen it before. It wasn't an order, or a plea, but something else. Something more meaningful. Something intensely personal, that could only exist on top of that compactor, on that september evening. 'Come on man...' I whispered, too quietly for him to hear. I looked one last time at the girl, and I slowly, slowly lowered my foot.
I never got the girl, but we had an alright evening.
Two weeks later, Nelson 'five verts' O'Shea died attempting that very trick, in a car park in Clacton.
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Good times!
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