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the gays, the caps lock nazis, the zionists, small caucasian babies, THE 18 YEAR OLD ALICE - YES YOU,READING THIS NOW!! Do I offend you, yeah?
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Just popped in to check on the Hoibster and couldn't resist saying a mahooosive congratulations to Thorn and Octavia! She is absolutely gorgeous. Well done to Octavia too on what sounds like a really good delivery. Yays all round, in fact.
-------------------- They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy. Posts: 1847
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Sidders! Here I am! Vast and immobile, and permanently attached to a bottle of Gaviscon.
I want more pictures of infant and dewey-eyed parents. If you could leave out any tales about tearing ladies' areas, I'd be grateful.
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Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
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quote:Originally posted by herbs: permanently attached to a bottle of Gaviscon.
Yeah, I was going through half a litre a week up until - ooh, last Friday. The Boots stuff is pretty decent too. It got to the point I was worried about eating anywhere but at home unless I knew I had access to calcium carbonate.
No stitches! It was pretty horrible in the last hour without pain relief, but do-able. Despite what I may have been swearing at the time.
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quote:Originally posted by Octavia: It was pretty horrible in the last hour without pain relief, but do-able. Despite what I may have been swearing at the time.
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Good old The Crippler.
I think Octavia was referring to the birth rather than the conception...
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ah yes. gaviscon. top tip - you can get prescriptions from your gp for mega bottles of the stuff and being duffed up, there is no prescription charge to pay. get in.
i am trying to find a decent newborn pic for you, hoibs. sadly, as c & e both arrived a bit early, our newborn pics of them are a bit scary.
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Imagine it, it's a lovely Sunday afternoon and Octavia has been putting the icing on the cake. Thorn's spent all morning mowing the lawn and putting up the picnic table. The guests will be arriving any moment. Alice?! Octavia calls out. But there's no response. She looks in all the rooms. She slowly creaks up the stairs to the attic where she finds her 18 year old daughter in front of the PC. On screen is the old familiar black on white format of TMO. A picture of Thorn in his prime is displayed on the screen. The word 'Salad' is prominent. 'We...were going to tell you' she blurts, half confession, half assertion. 'of course you were!' She shrieks back. 'Of course you were mother. When? Just before I found it?! How could you hide this from me?' From dowstairs Thorn's soft voice can be heard. 'What is it my love?! What's all the noise?' Alice pushes past Octavia and scampers down into the arms of her father. 'What is it?' He asks softly as she buries her face into his chest. His face is gentle but tender. A wry smile creeps across his face with a glint in his eye. 'Is it The Chain, by Fleetwood Mac' he says? quietly.
[ 14.05.2009, 12:21: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
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I'm not going to hide TMO from Alice. As far as I'm concerned she can use it for Show and Tell at school. I'd be delighted.
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You know, despite the lies Benway tells about The Kids being down with technology and getting textbooks beamed into the back of their eyelids and all the rest of it, I haven't actually witnessed any suggestion that the younger generations are any more au fait with tech than their parents. We get a steady stream of interns through here, and for the most part they are clueless about technology. Terrified of opening the database, and unable even to operate the franking machine. I think Twitter and iTunes and all the rest of them are mainly used by fat men aged 30 and over. This is based on a sample group of about 12 20-year old graduates, so my research is scientifically watertight.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: You know, despite the lies Benway tells about The Kids being down with technology and getting textbooks beamed into the back of their eyelids and all the rest of it, I haven't actually witnessed any suggestion that the younger generations are any more au fait with tech than their parents. We get a steady stream of interns through here, and for the most part they are clueless about technology. Terrified of opening the database, and unable even to operate the franking machine. I think Twitter and iTunes and all the rest of them are mainly used by fat men aged 30 and over. This is based on a sample group of about 12 20-year old graduates, so my research is scientifically watertight.
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She shat some out. And er... her nappy was changed. The end. There haven't really been any massively amusing poo incidents.
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Congratulations! It is ace to have a baby. And you'll probably have a fun poo story soon. My fave was when my son did a projectile shit on his father's trousers. I wish I had videoed it. I've put a fiver in a trust fund for him for later.
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Congratulations Thorn and Octavia on your new arrival. And Alice, if this is your eighteenth birthday and you are reading this, I am the fellow whom on many occasions wanted to smack your father sharply on the nose. Before gouging out his eyes with a rusty teaspoon.
Though I am sure that this feeling was mutual.
Yours, S. Norton.
Thorn - you will just have to print this out now.
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quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: Congratulations Thorn and Octavia on your new arrival. And Alice, if this is your eighteenth birthday and you are reading this, I am the fellow whom on many occasions wanted to smack your father sharply on the nose. Before gouging out his eyes with a rusty teaspoon.
PS: If you are reading this to your father, there is a chance this has already happened.
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