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First off, much joy at TMO being back! Where have you all been hiding? No matter good to see you all back again - almost like the good old days.
Now a rather strange but interesting thing has happened and I need your advice PDQ. Last night I got home to find an invitation in my mailbox to attend, and I still can't believe this, to attend a reception with the British Ambassador at the Embassy in the Hague. Me - of all the tens of thousands of ex-pats living in Holland, they invite me of all people. Let's not question the why for now (albeit I expect my brief stint of charity work here got me noticed and on some exclusive list), but right now I need some advice for the how - exactly how does one dress for such an occasion? Obviously I will not be swearing like a docker and can when required behave quite well but I am a little concerned as to whether or not I should go and hire a black tie getup, or will a suit and tie suffice? There is no mention of dress code on the invite, so I am a little concerned if I turn up dressed as a penguin, when in fact most of these functions are actually cheap excuses for frathouse style toga parties.
Also, any jokes I should crack to win favour with diplomats or possible lower members of royalty?
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It would be a good idea to establish what the mix of other guests is at the embassy do. If there's a contingent representing, say, 'trade' there'll already be quite enough suits in the room and I'd therefore strongly advise you wear as bohemian a get-up as possible - you know, something like this:
the events team will have been briefed to get a 'good mix' of the expat community so if everyone dresses the same the chances are they'll be in for a bit of a bollocking from the Ambassador.
Also: if any of the waiting staff offers you Rocher they are clearly an imposter and possibly a terrorist - slap them in the mouth and holler for security.
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Ben's right. Look at it this way. It'll be awesome when you can spend the next ten years telling the story of how you turned up drunk to the ambassador's party wearing a Wildhearts t-shirt and a pair of Y-fronts, waving a can of Stella and demanding that someone 'get this mother-fucking party started'.
Actually, maybe you should bring hookers and some decks, too.
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quote:Originally posted by Waynster: any jokes I should crack to win favour with diplomats
I don't know about jokes, but I would be really grateful if you could get an answer on something that's always bugged me.
When diplomats are at a peace negotiation do they have, like, separate toilets and dining facilities for different sides? Or would there - plausibly - be a situation where, say, the representatives for Palestine and Israel wind up next to each other at the urinal trying to make small talk to break the tension? And with the dining facilities. Is there ever a danger that trade negotiations would collapse because the Sudanese delegation took the last of the chocolate eclairs in the break room?
Or is the atmosphere more like... people just doing their jobs? You know - when they're in the bar in the evening the Palestinians and the Israelis are like slamming tequila together and playing pool and doing beer bongs, and then the next morning in the negotiations they're all like "We cannot condone the continued occupation of Gaza", and then over lunch they're like "Man I cannot believe you brought up those suicide bombers, lol. I'd totally forgotten about that. I was fucked after you said that!" "Yeah. You should have seen your face, lol. You looked like you'd just fucked your mother. I'm going to the buffet. 'nother apple juice?" "Please."
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That's an interesting mix there - Motorhead and Duran Duran.
I do like Thorn's line of thinking is one I might put, albeit with a fair modicum of tact, to one of the lesser staff, as after all I think its a fair question.
However the idea of turning up with a can of stella - stella? FFS!