posted
England wins at cricket and motorsport. And snooker, sometimes.
It's really only football that we're totally shit at. And tennis if you don't count Andy Murray.
Plus, UFC is totally and utterly gay. I don't want to spend a single penny on watching two skinny twats with shaved heads try to tickle each other's bums. It's literally the queerest sport ever created.
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Plus, UFC is totally and utterly gay. I don't want to spend a single penny on watching two skinny twats with shaved heads try to tickle each other's bums. It's literally the queerest sport ever created.
Ringo is right. UFC reminds me of something ben said, about Carter USM trying to bum Philip Schofield. That's how every UFC fight ends: "What are you trying to do? Bum me?"
posted
Cricket doesn't really count. What does anyone else in the world care if we beat Australia? Aside from which - don't we usually get our arses kicked by Australia? Forgive the vagueness of these assertions, btw - I speak from a position of almost total ignorance.
Motorsport: again, unsatisfying - drivers and teams seem somehow decoupled from a tangible national association (it's hard to root for a tax exile, surely?).
I've not actually seen any Ultimate Fighting, but from what you're saying, they should be had under Trades Descriptions. Bare-knuckle boxing it is, then - everyone can get behind a brawler in joggy bottoms I'd have thought. Also: very easy for the kiddies to get excited about (and thereby seed a new generation of fighting champions) as there's no requirement for expensive kit.
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posted
Here's a thought: how about - as a subsidiary entertainment for World Awesome Team Bare Knuckle Challenge (Live! From Ipswich) we could have tag-team bare knuckle boxing with all-black teams versus all-white teams.
Just for fun, of course! But it would be quite a good way of settling once and for all which race is 'best'.
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quote:Originally posted by ben: Bare-knuckle boxing it is, then - everyone can get behind a brawler in joggy bottoms I'd have thought. Also: very easy for the kiddies to get excited about (and thereby seed a new generation of fighting champions) as there's no requirement for expensive kit.
This may not be the boost you think it is. If there's no expensive kit, then there's no opportunities for corporate sponsorship, and no incentive for big companies to pour money into your sport.
Perhaps there's a way of institutionalising football hooliganism, and turning that into a sport. There's already an established fan base, and these guys always seem to think they know the grit and determination the football teams are lacking. What better way to prove that they have the guts to play for their country, than by giving them their own sport? And then you've got tons of sponsorship packages: "Fat Alan uses Budweiser broken bottles", "Early Grave Dave endorses Raleigh Bicycle Chains" and so forth.
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posted
Thing you're forgetting is that British people don't actually want sporting success. What Brits really enjoy, more than anything else, is cynically predicting the failure of anyone arrogant enough to bother trying hard to succeed at anything. And when someone is cheeky enough to actually win at something, all people want to do is give reasons why their victory was effectively meaningless.
"yeah well, England may have won the Ashes, but it's only because Australia fielded their weakest ever team"
"jenson button only won the F1 world championship because he had the best car. Anyone else in that car would have won more races than Jenson did"
Face it, Britain is a nation of losers, and there's nothing we hate more than winning. We love wallowing in this collective self pity, and meticulously criticising anyone who ever looks like succeeding in any sporting arena.
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: We love wallowing in this collective self pity
We're the very best in the world at wallowing in collective self pity. Although that's only because everyone else is a bit rubbish at it. Give it a few years and the Chinese will wallow us into a cocked hat, you mark my words.
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Benway, when did I last see you? Was it this time last year at Nambucca or more recently? Let's catch up before Christmas. I am not coming to this TMO meet, obviously.
Come on, people - last chance to hook up and raise a glass. Not as if you're going to be busy with anything else as important is it.
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quote:Originally posted by Louche: Swanswea, praps?
Ooh, la-di-da. Swanswea is it? In these uncertain times, the rest of us are having to make do with Bargain Booze own-brand duckspiss. Posts: 8467
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I've been taking elocution lessons. So I fit in better during this dastardly period of Tory rule.
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Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
posted
Everyone should definitely come to Oxford in the new year.
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I could quite possibly come to this (subject to usual caveat regarding partner needing to be in for childcare poiposes) but WTF? Everyone's sleeping in caves in Swansea instead?
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