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In the meantime, I've recently come up with a great idea for a computer game. The game will be called Rat Race and will be based around the idea of getting to work on time via the Metrolink service from Sale to Manchester every morning.
Basically, you have a set time period to get to work -- say, 30 minutes -- but you gain extra points by performing acts of violence on the annoying twats that prevent you from getting to work, resulting in 'bonus points' which earn you further minutes to get to work. Points can only be awarded if you attack people that are 'rats'. People defined as such are generally the selfish ***** that will do anything to get on the tram before you and will happily barge into you without so much as a 'sorry' or 'excuse me'. In other words, pretty much everyone at the tram stop.
The doors on the tram are fitted with razor blades. Extra points are earned if you can successfully press the 'close' button whilst rats are still trying to board the tram when you are already situated in a 'sardine tin' scenario. Slicing the body in half yields a ten minute bonus; loss of limb is equivalent to a five minute bonus. Strangulation of scallies, using their iPod headphone cords, gains useful two minute additions to your start-time at work.
As your points-count rises, you will be offered various weapons for the return journey, for example, the baseball bat will enable one to smash rats' skulls into pieces as you gain access to the tram. The chainsaw is particularly useful when somebody's armpit is inches from your face and you can hold your breath no longer.
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