Frank
moon-chain-silver-mother-breakfast-fry-up-sausage
posted
I wonder if I could ask a favour, if it's not too forward of me?
Mrs. Frank Power wishes to go to London for a weekend at some stage over the summer. Luckily we have vouchers for Jurys Inn hotels, so we can use those.
I've been looking at t'internet and see that there is one hotel in "Islington" and one in "Chelsea". Do these names mean anything to anyone?
As my lady wife is interested in shopping, sightseeing and West End shows in the evenings, which of the two hotels would be the handiest location wise?
Apologies for my ignorance. Any suggestions gratefully appreciated.
-------------------- Or not sure. Or not important Posts: 733
| IP: Logged
posted
They're both about as close as each other to the central tourist area, though personal taste would have me recommending Chelsea of the two. That would give you easier access to stuff like Harrods, Kings Road, High Street Kensington and the like, plus pleasant walkage along the river.
Islington would probably be easier for Oxford Street and stuff like Covent Garden, but there's not an awful lot in it.
Don't know the actual hotels, of course. Expect there will be much more helpful responses, but Chelsea would be my preference by some way.
Posts: 8467
| IP: Logged
posted
Hmm...after looking at their locations I'd have to say the Chelsea one is not great for tube stations, the nearest being Fulham Broadway & Parsons Green (and not very near at that) which are on the notoriously shit District line and a bit out of the city. It is close to King's road and places that would be good for shopping and bars and such like, quite a public school gang kind of nightlife round there I think.
The other one is more central and much better tube connections, you can get anywhere from King's Cross. Angel has loads of bars & restaurants and its easy to get into the center for shopping and shows.
I am biased though as I don't really know south London very well.
Posts: 2793
| IP: Logged
Frank
moon-chain-silver-mother-breakfast-fry-up-sausage
posted
-------------------- Or not sure. Or not important Posts: 733
| IP: Logged
posted
I've always found this South vs North London thing perplexing.
I thought people chose an area to live in based on where there job is. By chance the first job I had in London was in Victoria, hence I found accommodation in the south.
All bits of London have a Londis/Budgens, same old high street shops, maybe a market or an independent cinema/theatre and a tube line. There are posh bits and rough bits both north and south and major terminus stations north and south.
Silliness.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
| IP: Logged
posted
Dalston is an island of filth, tramps, forren and alternati in a sea of bland, though, so it kind of gets away with it.
VP probably lives somewhere really non-descript and horrid, called Milmston or something, which has a train station with a faded (hence pink) old British Rail logo, and a broken ticket machine. Under the arches lay dead, featherless baby pigeons that have been shaken from their nests by the juddering of the barely-held-together tracks. Next door there is a kebab shop simply called 'Kebab Shop'. At night shouting, dead-eyed men with grey, matted beards and tattered leather jackets gather outside and bark swears into each others mouths. On the platform the wind claws directly at your face and throat and brain. Tepid, cruel youths with eyes like frogs and stringy yellow hair swarm at night, pushing cold chips into their girlfriends faces. There is one train every 45 minutes. It passes through Dirgewich, Bauchney, Etcton, Brownhouse, in a long, rattling, squealing, curving and torturous course to Victoria. The monitor displaying the times (in Teletext) is slightly fucked, hence every few letters a random symbol appears. At night Milmston is utterly silent, but for the barking of a dog.
And VP used to live in downtown Croydon. At night she hugs herself, and smiles sweetly at the paradise she discovered as she slips into sleep.
O wait South London has Greenwich! Greenwich in summer = best plaice ever.
Also, ex-TMO player Omikin used to live in a plaice called Mottingham, which was excellent for its name if nothing else.
Actually, I'm starting to think everywhere in London (the world?) is nightmarishly vile in its own special way. Until you have experienced the horror that is living next to Portabello Road and trying to leave your flat on a Saturday morning (deadly pure white sunshine laser straight into your eyes, tidal wave of screeching Japs, whining acne-covered Americans, silent couples in £500 trainers, blood-gushingly cool faux-knacked clothing [that just looks like genuine knacked clothing] and massive Princess Margaret-style sunglasses) you have not experienced hatred or suffering, really.
Posts: 2689
| IP: Logged
posted
I would have to confess also that, until last week, I had never pushed a tiny, sweet-faced Japanese girl into a wall on purpose. West London is carving me into a monster.
Posts: 2689
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by Raz: VP probably lives somewhere really non-descript and horrid, called Milmston or something, which has a train station with a faded (hence pink) old British Rail logo, and a broken ticket machine. Under the arches lay dead, featherless baby pigeons that have been shaken from their nests by the juddering of the barely-held-together tracks. Next door there is a kebab shop simply called 'Kebab Shop'. At night shouting, dead-eyed men with grey, matted beards and tattered leather jackets gather outside and bark swears into each others mouths. On the platform the wind claws directly at your face and throat and brain. Tepid, cruel youths with eyes like frogs and stringy yellow hair swarm at night, pushing cold chips into their girlfriends faces. There is one train every 45 minutes. It passes through Dirgewich, Bauchney, Etcton, Brownhouse, in a long, rattling, squealing, curving and torturous course to Victoria. The monitor displaying the times (in Teletext) is slightly fucked, hence every few letters a random symbol appears. At night Milmston is utterly silent, but for the barking of a dog.
This is in fact Denmark Hill station in Camberwell, where I worked last year.
I now live in Earlsfield, which is a pointless blip of bland nothingness between Clapham and Wimbledon. But I'm sure there are equally nothing places in "the north".
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
| IP: Logged
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by Raz: There is one train every 45 minutes. It passes through Dirgewich, Bauchney, Etcton, Brownhouse, in a long, rattling, squealing, curving and torturous course to Victoria.
East Bilgelow, Grimhurst Green, Flangers Bush, St. Fever's Park, Frogworth & Blengbury, Spogminster Brook, Slumden. It wasn't going to be an underground railway, but passengers complained about the view so they had to bury the trains. Some of these places are only inhabited by blind people, with a one-eyed man as the station master.
Posts: 8467
| IP: Logged
posted
Frank - both Islington and Chelsea are indeed populated by twunts, but Chelsea twunts are more inclined to wear sweaters casually slung over their shoulders, and loafers with no shoes, and bray a lot at each other, so naturally you must choose Islington. I live near there too, which makes it 'good'.
Re Chelsea being 'south' London. I've said it once and I'll say it again - pish. It is north of the Thames, and technically known as West London. Other areas with SW post codes which are not South London include Victoria, Belgravia and St James's.
Re Dalston I saw a woman shouting 'fuck off' to a barking dog tied up outside a shop the other day. The poor animal just looked bemused, especially when she carried on shouting 'fuck off' from the other side of the road. Probably the mother of the people who, variously, piss, shit, take crack and copulate on the stairs outside my flat. Don't they know what they're doing to property prices?
Posts: 4537
| IP: Logged
posted
Alice saw a lady hitch up her skirt and take a piss outside Argos at 4pm in the afternoon in Dalston last year. I got accosted by TWO tramps the other week as well! I was riding my bike along the pavement and then this superdrunk tramp on crutches came in the other direction. He wobbled around and then fell off. So I was like, oh shit, good Samaritan moment coming up. So I got off bike and stuck out my hand and was like 'dude take my hand let me help you up.' And the tramp just lay there sobbing. And I was like 'no seriously dude. lemme help.' But the stupid tramp wouldn't. So I tried to take his hand but he slapped my hand away and grunted and shook his head. So I got on my bike and rode to the cash machine, where another tramp with a totally burned face and no eyebrows demanded a pound. And I said I don't have a pound, that's why I'm at the cash machine. So he said give me a tenner. So I threw a cigarette at him and ran away, and then he said 'god bless you', and I did a cry. Dallllston! When Darryn and Waynester came to Dalston they got scared.
Edit: Does all this make me sound like a bad person? The crutches tramp is alright now. I see him outside Costcutter.
Herbs: Have you seen the Excuse Me lady? She sits in a little wheelchair outside the station yelling EXCUSE ME and demanding cash for ass?
South London people: Does the black lady who dresses all in white and has her face painted white still wander around the Walworth area?
quote:Originally posted by London: then this superdrunk tramp on crutches came in the other direction. He wobbled around and then fell off. So I was like, oh shit, good Samaritan moment coming up. So I got off bike and stuck out my hand and was like 'dude take my hand let me help you up.' And the tramp just lay there sobbing. And I was like 'no seriously dude. lemme help.' But the stupid tramp wouldn't. So I tried to take his hand but he slapped my hand away and grunted and shook his head.
quote:Originally posted by London: Everyone: post about your favourite tramps!
My favourite tramp is known by many names, cu cu man and marmite man to name a couple. He wonders around the Swindon town centre in a different hat each day which he personalises him self. One has a marmite sticker on the front (hence his name) and others have magical things like feathers and mini-trolls them. He walks up and down town (in-between pubs) and makes cu cu noises. Some people think he has mental problems, but I think that he does it cause he likes freaking people out. He’s wicked cool, but to be honest he has a place to live so he isn’t really a tramp , but I don’t care I thought he deserved a mention anyway.
-------------------- New for 2005 - STD FREE!!
Greenpeace is just like the BNP, just with like…seals and stuff Posts: 211
| IP: Logged
posted
No way miffers. Crying Boy is by far the best. He actually made it into the papers. It was within public interest to see him banged up in nick.
He earned his nickname for his inventive attempts to get money, you see. His ruse would be this; He lives in Bristol and he needs money for the train. But you know what? He don't got enough fair and like, hes got to be home soon. And like, if he isn't his dads gonna kill him cos he gets beaten up see. So he needs a poun. No. Two at least to help with the fair and then he bursts in big tears. When an old lady or someone else sees this they feel sorry for him and pay up. Said Crying Boy, hes not a crying boy anymore. No! Hes Laughing Boy now, he then toddles off to the local crack house. Ho Ho HO!
But, his ruse must of got tiresome because he was hassling some lady and started crying and bawling about his fictional abusive bristolian father. But he gets bored half way through and snatches her bag. Is crying boy a good runner? Our survey says Gnngh ehhh! He is busted and shamed on the front of the Evening Advertiser. His real parents with little faces of woe on the cover.
posted
My favorite tramps are the man who plays the drums on plastic tubs for many many hours, and the man wearing a lampshade as a hat who tried to sell me a wicker basket.
Also this doesnt fit in the thread, but I just walked through Regents Park and I saw about 20 ducks beating up this other duck who was really skinny and his feathers were all scruffy and fucked up. The were all chasing him and jumping on him and pulling his feathers. I tried to make them stop by throwing small twigs and pebbles and shouting "Oi!", but they were in the duck enclosure so I couldnt help him. It was really brutal.
So when visiting London, don't go to Regent's park unless you have a heart of stone. Posts: 2793
| IP: Logged
Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
My favourite was a man in Edinburgh who always wore, winter or summer: army greatcoat, grey trousers held up with twine, boots. His vast naked belly protruded magnificently from between the folds of his coat. He had jet black hair shot through with grey and a prophet's beard, and strode up and down Princes Street like a conquering warlord, or Brian Blessed.
Edit: dur! "reading's so last season" say my treacherous eyes.
quote:Originally posted by Frank: I wonder if I could ask a favour, if it's not too forward of me?
Mrs. Frank Power wishes to go to London for a weekend at some stage over the summer. Luckily we have vouchers for Jurys Inn hotels, so we can use those.
I wouldn't waste vmy money staying at one of those rip off hotels if I were you. You can stay at Crystal Palace Park camping site for 7:50 a night or better still go fly camping on Hampstead Heath or some other wild open space in the capital like Fryant country park near Wembley.
quote:Originally posted by Abby: I just walked through Regents Park and I saw about 20 ducks beating up this other duck who was really skinny and his feathers were all scruffy and fucked up.
The duck's ill or dying. Chickens do it too and they get really nasty about it. I had to bring a chicken indoors and put her in the bath so that she could get better without her eyes being pecked out the sockets.
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: The duck's ill or dying. Chickens do it too and they get really nasty about it. I had to bring a chicken indoors and put her in the bath so that she could get better without her eyes being pecked out the sockets.
posted
There's one well known tramp here who rides through the back bay section of Boston on a three-wheeled cycle. I've never seen him stopped - he's always in motion. His cycle is outfitted with a rediculous number of baskets, reflectors and orange fiberglass masts bearing tattered triangular orange flags. There may also be a bell fitted to the handlebars. But for all of this, the reason he's so well known is because of the noise he makes. "Woo-oh! Woo-oh!", he yells, seemingly with every breath, emulating the sound of a horn. You hear him approach, as his wails surface above the surrounding city noises, and soon enough he rides by. And before you know it, he's gone again, his "woo-oh!" refrain fading into the background noise again. I don't know where he's come from or where he's going, but he always seems very intent on getting there.
-------------------- Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains. Posts: 3201
| IP: Logged
posted
Yo London! I know Excuse Me Tramp. She has guilt-inducement down to a fine art. Have you encountered 'Guv Tramp', who comes up with wild staring crack-addled eyes, snot-encrusted nose, saying 'guv, guv, got a pound guv, guv, got a pound guv' etc (you can guess the rest). He once tried to sell me a nintendo game console thingo out of a bin bag on my stairs and got quite uppity when I said no.
Posts: 4537
| IP: Logged
posted
My old housemate once saw a woman taking a shit outside the Ritzy Cinema in Brixton. In a moment of clarity, one of the smackheads sitting on the grass nearby picked up a piece of brick and hurled it at her. Their aim was true and it struck the shitter on her thigh. This in turn made her lose her balance and she ended up sitting in her own excrementmuch to the delight of the assorted drunks, druggies and cinema goers nearby. I believe she was quite angry.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic