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.....Sang a certain James Jewel Osterberg some years ago, but alas I'm not looking at offering myself for some sexual deviance - nope I'm playing the good samaritan - and all with reason.
You see I am bored - not bored of what I am doing, bored because I have nothing to do. Nichts, nada, niets, rien, niente. I am stuck at work and there is absolutely no trade for me - all project work has been collared by the permies, and it seems that I am just here to firefight - well when I'm on watch theres no smoke on the horizon - its all ticketty boo, my work here is done - just a little too well it seems. But I am not a lazy person - I want to justify my existance, but why should I limit myself to the people who pay my salary? Why instead can't I offer a hand to one of the good posters of TMO.
So why not delegate some task to me that I can do from here so you can enjoy more chate, or just get your boss off your back.
Rules:
1. The only tool I have is my intellect, the net and my 'puter, so using the latter two I can probably do something useful.
2. Nowt involving pron or terrorism or the like - we have a firewall and if I cross into mucky waters, I can get fired.
3. Nothing to deadline - ie If you want me to write up a review of something in 10 minutes or you'll burn in the pit of hades for an eternity, no thanks - I don't want to carry too much responsibility.
4. No sales work - done it, hate it
5. No uploading/downloading - again blocked at work
6. No promises, no guarantees, except confidentiality.
7. Payment for services rendered is optional and adaptable - CDs, Ford Pumas, Dates with forum ladies, stuff like that is all considerable as legal tender.
Ideas:
Long bothering techie issues (Sab can have a day off) Historical research - stuff you can find on the net if you look Tracking things or people down - I am handy at this, as I have proven on several occasions
- things like that - or just ask
It might help you out of a hole, and it might save me from chewing my own foot off. If its something confidential mail it to my gmail account - addy the same as the nick.
It might also be an interesting experiment - jobswap for a day - maybe even start a trend
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You could help me impress my new boss! Our magazine's doubled in size recently (Fifty-fucking-Two pages a week) and he wants brand new features ideas to fill it, not the usual market round up stuff that I do, but totally new things to appeal to the UK electrical retail market.
So far I've come up with
- A feature involving say an MD or someone picking out what they see as the single most important product of their line up in the past 30 years, and explaining why it was so important
- Something involving people speculating on how certain markets will develop in say, 15, 20 years.
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Saltrock - If you want me to try I will - don't worry about the body thing, but rather than the flippantness of my original post, at least I would try and do something proper.
That would justify my existance.
Mail me if you want me to at least try - I do have 'methods' for locating people.
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: You could help me impress my new boss! Our magazine's doubled in size recently (Fifty-fucking-Two pages a week) and he wants brand new features ideas to fill it, not the usual market round up stuff that I do, but totally new things to appeal to the UK electrical retail market.
How about 'Readers Drives', in which subscribers can submit goosed up centerfolds of their modded PCs, and then talk candidly and erotically about the neon lit watercooling system and uprated 500 watt power supply?
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or a bit more seriously thorn, how about a 'our man in america' style piece of journalism - if your magazine covers all consumer electrical goods, you could maybe think about doing an article on US applicances (which from experience are bigger, more fantastic and so on) - its all based on the ideals of the 1950s automated home. Might be an idea give an insight into what the European market is missing.
I didn't say the work I did would be any good......
Just a few niggles on my final Geology assignment for you to clarify for me please:
Limestone pavements: what does acid rain have to do with their development?
Asteroidea and Echinoidea are different Classes, aren't they?
Feldspars are certainly not as resistant to chemical weathering as quartzes- please confirm.
Does metamorphic foliation always develop at right angles to compression?
Thanks.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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quote:Originally posted by Waynster: or a bit more seriously thorn, how about a 'our man in america' style piece of journalism - if your magazine covers all consumer electrical goods, you could maybe think about doing an article on US applicances (which from experience are bigger, more fantastic and so on) - its all based on the ideals of the 1950s automated home.
That's a good one. so long as I can prove the American market is significantly different from the UK one. Nice!
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Damn that hipster for coming up with a proper idea!
Why not have an article where you invite a manufacturer and your readers to jointly design a toaster or something, but whereby the input of your readership and the development staff go to make the optimum product of that type which would actually get manufactured - kind of along the christmas card competitions on Blue Peter but for adults?
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: That's a good one. so long as I can prove the American market is significantly different from the UK one. Nice!
Mate when it comes to the duller things like washing machines, cookers, fridges the US are way ahead - larger, cheaper - yep everything is bigger there and more user friendly, and something the UK is missing out on.
I often wondered about importing some of the kit as I am sure there would be a market for it - just take your average US washing machine, mix with your average 4 child family and you have one less hassled mum i tell you....
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Could you find me some pictures of the Len Wein and Carmine Infantino comic strip Human Target? I have been reading the Peter Milligan revamp and would like to see what the original was like.
Images of (Kirby's?) Rak Shade (Shade, the Changing Man) would also be fun.
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: Mate when it comes to the duller things like washing machines, cookers, fridges the US are way ahead - larger, cheaper - yep everything is bigger there and more user friendly, and something the UK is missing out on.
Surely the size aspect of this is, at least in part, down to the amount of space American homes have compared to the uk?
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Just a few niggles on my final Geology assignment for you to clarify for me please:
Limestone pavements: what does acid rain have to do with their development?
It will be something to do with the calcium carbonate reacting with the acid I imagine. Maybe its a hardened residue caused by the neutralisation of the fluid on the surface of the limestone? Asteroidea and Echinoidea are different Classes, aren't they? [url] http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/a/s/asi103/5_classes_of_phylum_echinodermata.htm[/url] - yes Feldspars are certainly not as resistant to chemical weathering as quartzes- please confirm.
Read the bit about "Bleaching and annealing of quartz and feldspars" which I think covers it in this article:
"Foliation is a texture seen in metamorphic rocks whereby elongated or platy (mica like) minerals are oriented at right angles to the direction of stress; this is seen as layering or banding; examples include: slate, schist, gneiss . Metamorphic rocks that do not show foliation include: marble and quartzite . "
I have to book myself into an MCSE, and then a CCNA boot camp training course. The week long ones. Where can I do this in the UK? Is it any more useful to do it in Europe?
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I have a task: I get paid on or around the 14th of each month. My mortgage gets taken out on or around the 1st of the next month, as do most of my other Direct Debit sort of things. How then can I maximise the earning potential of the approximate 2 grand which sits doing nothing in a stupid current account for around three weeks every month?
The solution must involve no effort on my part beyond setting it up. I'm happy to change current accounts as I understand there are options around now which will pay about 4% of something or other, which is more than 0.1% or something or other which it's 'paying' at the moment. But is there an even more exciting option than just changing accounts?
quote:Originally posted by Bailey: Shall I email you my list?
Why not, but your best bet is probably ebay - if you try and sell them to a shop you may get a reduced rate, the www.opalmusic.com is not a bad place to check out.
quote:Originally posted by Abby: Find this album cover as a poster (it exists, I saw one once in a pub!), and I will love you forever. AND buy you beer.
This is going to be very difficult as it is long discontinued. I can offer maybe an original print of a photo of Perry and Dave that I took live of them last year?
I moved into my house 3 years ago and soon decided that one of the first things I should do to it is redecorate the living room (it is currently adorned with hideous blue and yellow wallpaper, which was obviously purchased in a Fads closing down sale some time in 1983).
Following an interval of three years, during which new wallpaper, paint, paste and a wallpaper steam stripping machine were purchased, the Fads Nightmare remains in all of its untouched glory.
As I am utterly useless at decorating, I feel a Super-Nag coming on and I need some hard facts to convince J that it is now time to get the job done.
Could you provide me with statistics on the average length of time that passes between moving into a house and getting around to decorating it please?
Alternatively, would anyone like to come and help me decorate my living room?
Yours in thankful anticipation,
Ms Sidney Milm-on-the-Choad
-------------------- They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy. Posts: 1847
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quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Waynster could you perhaps find out if there are UK dvd release dates available for the Miyazaki animes Porco Rosso and My Neighbour Totoro?
Buena Vista have tentativly mentioned they will bring out Porco Rosso, so it may be worth contacting them direct - try feedback@thefilmfactory.co.uk and see if they can help
I moved into my house 3 years ago and soon decided that one of the first things I should do to it is redecorate the living room (it is currently adorned with hideous blue and yellow wallpaper, which was obviously purchased in a Fads closing down sale some time in 1983).
Following an interval of three years, during which new wallpaper, paint, paste and a wallpaper steam stripping machine were purchased, the Fads Nightmare remains in all of its untouched glory.
As I am utterly useless at decorating, I feel a Super-Nag coming on and I need some hard facts to convince J that it is now time to get the job done.
Could you provide me with statistics on the average length of time that passes between moving into a house and getting around to decorating it please?
Alternatively, would anyone like to come and help me decorate my living room?
Yours in thankful anticipation,
Ms Sidney Milm-on-the-Choad
Hmmm this old bananna. 88.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot, so I think this will not really convince Mr Sid to get away from the footie and get cracking with the stripping. May I suggest you start mentioning how tired the room is looking, whilst persusing brochures from Estate Agents of local houses just that bit too high out of your mortgage budget, thus hinting at moving on. The avoidance of financial outlay appeasement through slapping up a new decor is common amongst man, and should cause no further hindrance.
Keep the brochures for handy hints for the bedroom and gardens too!
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Ooh Dang and Herbs - Stuff the mortgage and put it all on Eye Spy in the 2.45 at Catterick. Jobs a goodun ' !
Remember no guarantees!
(Actually subclause one - do not ask anything about saving, mortgages and so on as I have never saved a penny in my life, am probably 25 grand in debt with no student loan and couldn't get a mortgage if my life depended on it - you have been warned)
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Sidders - I love decorating! As Wayne is doing something nice for me - I'll come round and help you. TMO joint karma. Now, are you anywhere near Taunton?
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: Could you find me some pictures of the Len Wein and Carmine Infantino comic strip Human Target? I have been reading the Peter Milligan revamp and would like to see what the original was like.
Images of (Kirby's?) Rak Shade (Shade, the Changing Man) would also be fun.
Proving a little difficult this one - seems the revamp is getting all the coverage, and not the retro - I'll have another look later.
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