posted
It's friday afternoon. 4pm. All eyes are now on the clock. All thoughts on the weekend. You are constantly clicking F5 on TMO. In another window you're searching lastminute.com for that winter break you've been mulling over. Yet another window shows the bleak exteriors of faceless blocks of ex-local authority flats. Earlier you were trawling through estate agent websites with a vague notion of joining the property ladder sometime soon. Maybe. Hopefully. If the housing market collapses by Christmas. You gave up looking when the badly framed, unwieldy and inefficient site began to infiltrate your consciousness, spreading through your mind like a warm, wet blanket of general malaise.
Suddenly there is an unfamiliar presence hovering over your shoulder. At this time on a friday you can't summon the will to turn your neck any more, so you slowly rotate in your chair until you're facing a shiny-suited crotch. There is a droplet of damp just to the left of the zip. It's too high up to be seepage, perhaps post-piss dripshake? A vulgar tie diverts your gaze and draws your eyes up its coloured stripes like an escalator. You're powerless to resist. Eye contact devoid of recognition. Discomfort. Grey fleshless lips:
"I am from the productivity police. You must now account fully for your working day."
Poster fist: 10:00 Arrived at work, started reading the papers 11:00 Made a single, 2 minute phone call to Paris bureau 11:30 Sent email to vt librarian asking for a tape showing a French cafe 12:30 Went for lunch 14:00 Got back from lunch 15:00 Sank to new record low position in chair. Am now completely hidden from editor's view by pc monitor. Planning escape.
posted
So far it's been a somewhat productive day. To a point anyway.
7:30am: Leave home, get in car, begin drive to work. 8:04am: Traffic eases as I exit the tunnel under Boston. 8:08am: Stop at Dunkin' Donuts. Buy a dozen donuts and a Box 'o Joe. 8:16am: Arrive at work. Leave donuts and coffee in meeting room. 8:20am: Boot PC. Get coffee. Get pile of incoming mail from box and place teetering on edge of desk. 8:25am: Retreive file for 9:00 project meeting. 8:35am: Print materials to hand out during meeting. Try to find which printer they have printed to. After locating printer, checking toner, checking paper supply, go back to office to determine why document has still not printed. Cancel all jobs, and re-queue to print. 8:50am: Send e-mail note to remind team about 9:00 meeting. Bribe them with mention of coffee and donuts. 8:58am: Check printers to find that documents have once again failed to print. 9:00am: Go to meeting room, begin project discussion. 9:40am: Project discussion derails into a discussion of my recent move, Len's wife who's expecting a baby, and a full range of general sorts of griping about the things the company can't seem to get its head around doing properly. 9:55am: Meeting brought back on track, assignments handed out. 10:10am: Begin editing document to be used by California sales representatives on new accounts. 11:10am: Take a look at TMO. Post a short something that most everyone will not notice. 11:12am: Back to the document, finish editing and formatting. Save. Send e-mail to two collegues with attachment, ask for comments. 11:16am: Check webmail. Check TMO. Begin posting this message. 11:32am: Click "Add Reply."
-------------------- Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains. Posts: 3201
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interspersed with some fairly productive flurries-
-guided two new PhD students to obtaining ID cards, library cards and email addresses. -booked my boss' US flights -signed off 3 expenses forms -raised 1 purchase order -scanned a magazine article for a prof -wrote approx 9 work-related emails -got an IT spod to import visiting prof's calendar to my box -got my boss to give affirmative answers to 6 questions during the 7 minutes he was in the office today
Fucking hell, no wonder I'm tired.
Now I have to go for drinks with some Engineering spod who's leaving. What do Engineering spods talk about in pubs?
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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posted
These schedules are quite reassuring, apart from froopy's which was a bit too productive. I feel better on the whole - thanks.
My day can be breifly summarised by:
9am Arrive, get breakfast, go to lobby, seen lots of police and reporters!!! Tony Bleurgh is in my hospital today having his heart zapped - cor blimey. 9.30 Faff. 12.30 Go to leaving lunch for some people I dont know in the pub 14.00 make coffe, faff 14.05 tell computer spod which computer to take away. 14.20 microwave coffee. faff. ....
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posted
Productivity you say? Right, er, let's just have a look...
Email Sent Items folder: Five items today. *sweat* It's been a busy one. Four messages are timed between 09:18 and 09:49 and one at 16:02. So, a long day as well it seems, and a particularly frantic morning. No wonder I had to take a long lunch after that lot.
The emails say stuff like, "As per your request on Tuesday I have now completed the long list of change requests related to X website. Apologies for the delay but it's a busy time here just now. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance."
Of course, they're used to change requests taking some two to three weeks to be carried out by people who actually are busy, so three days is quite astonishing and they are very pleased with me. The work will have taken anything up to two and a half minutes to actually complete.
At some stage during the day I will have carried out some other miniscule task or other. This gives me the opportunity to write a few more emails on Monday morning, delivering the good news that yet more strenuous and complex work has been completed by the only quick and conscientious worker in the whole company. They will be so pleased, and to keep their own kudos up they too send messages onward and upward:
"I am pleased to announce that the work I have project managed has now been carried out by the excellent Dang65. My personal thanks to him for that, although my project management skill will have contributed greatly to the swift execution of the task."
Namecheck, all important. Strategic grovelling, essential. Doing no work, priority.
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posted
10.30: get up 10.40-11.40: look at internet, check email 11.40-12.30: sort through notes, quotes and Endnote 12.30-1.00: watch Home and Away 1.00-3.30: write approx 2000 words on masculine British culture 3.30-4.15: go to bank and shop 4.15-4.45: have coffee and look at internet now-8.00: write more words, hopefully good ones
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posted
WTF? One of my colleagues has just been made "Business Editor"! That role was promised to me four fucking months ago! Heads are going to roll over this! Or: I may just sit in my chair and fume quietly.
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quote:Originally posted by Abby: These schedules are quite reassuring, apart from froopy's which was a bit too productive.
If it's any consolation, my productivity has dropped noticibly since posting to this thread. This is in fact a good thing. Thanks TMO! You rock!
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posted
9:00 arrive at work. Pop open can of IrnBru. Look over shoulder as everyone on my team eyeballs me knowingly. Guilt complex. Slump.
9:05 open internet and browse various discussion boards and sites of interest in miniature window sized to look like an email preview.
9:30: almost implode with rage as boss updates me on hideous task. MUST BE DONE BY END OF DAY> WAHWAHRAHWAHRAH
9:45 begin internet trawl for various bits of historic data relating to gold prices, FTSE figures and other 'fun' types of investment.
10:30 have enormostrop when realising all the powerpoint graphs have embedded excel sheets in them that expand and break the computer every time they're opened.
11:00 begin transferring data into new excel sheets and making pretty graphs. Learn how to rebase all the data. Small cry.
11:45 attempt to begin handover. Flap through reams of data. Grit teeth.
12:50 soup lunch. Read paper supplements, talk on phone, look at internet (full screen!).
14:00 write agenda, phone journalists to confirm media meetings. Tremble and sweat through monsoon-style office heat.
14:15 check expenses and hand in receipts. Periodically throughout afternoon go to help handover girl with the speech. Sit blankly.
14:45 speak to national journalist who mocks a picture of my clients. To be fair, they are peculiar looking fellows. Giggle. Stick pale blue post-it to monitor.
15:00 email journalists I was out with last night to say thanks and try to assuage any bad memories. Email clients we were entertaining to do the same. Amend press release and send to client. Write up list of article ideas. Look at internet.
As it's a Friday the past few hours have been spent sat at desk, moving paper and procrastinating and gossiping with team mates. Feeble attempt to sort out files. More internet.
If someone knows a simple remedy to my powerpoint/excel dilemma and decides to post it here, the glare from my eyeballs will burn their faces to leather masks through the medium of internet majick.
-------------------- the more brilliant her smile, the closer she always seemed to disaster Posts: 1057
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8ish - 10.30 get dstracted by the internet, in particular a game in which you break same coloured blocks
10.30-10.45 shower.
10.45-11 something scooter in to a local college that I'm helping with their film studies course (on the way get cut up twice by the same car, when he pulls into the garage that I've stopped at tell him that his indicators are broken, he seems confused, I tell him, they must be as he certainly wouldn't be so inconsiderate as to pull in front of me twice without signalling - he tells me that I was in the wrong lane - I point out that I'm travelling in a straight line, he however has crossed lanes on two occassions, so if by the wrong lane he means the one that he wants to be in, then sorry, I'll make sure I stay out of that one in future, he laughs, I don't think he got my sarcasm)
11 something to 1.30 put Final Cut on my lap-top at the college, play around with that for a while.
1.30 - 2 ish, go home.
2ish to now - more interenet distraction, some Final Cut learning, a little bill paying, a lot of hunger - realise I haven't eaten today...
-------------------- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down Posts: 2740
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