The money is in the eyes

Welcome to TMO

Home
Talk
Rants
Life
Music
Web
Media
Society
Sex
Announce
Games

How do I get a tag ?

Read the FAQ !



email us
TMO Talk   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» TMO Talk » The Library » Advanced Blagging Strategies for the 21st Century (Page 1)

 
This topic is comprised of pages: 2 1  2 
 
Author Topic: Advanced Blagging Strategies for the 21st Century
London

 - posted      Profile for London           Edit/Delete Post 
I want something. I want this thing. Problem is. This thing costs £3,229 pounds. HOW DO I GET IT? How does one get business reports for nothing? How do you get on the guest list for conferences and things? I can blag lots of stuff, but I sure as shit can't blag this. Any ideas?

What's the best thing you ever blagged?

My wife, the bastard, has just blagged herself a free trip to New York to interview some band called Black Dice. She's being all 'It's for the good of the magazine. I just want to write the feature.' All fake-serious. But really I know inside she's just like 'I BLAGGED A FREE TRIP TO NEW YORK! AHAHAA!!!' I think she knows I'm about to die of jealousy, so she keeps a lid on it.

I've never blagged anything that good. Um. CDs. Guestlist tickets. But nothing major. Some people stride to the front of party queues and talk their way in. Some people demand their name spelled out in cocaine on their rider. Some people have never got anything for free in their entire life.

So. Blagging. What's your style? What's the best / most expensive thing you ever blagged? And what does your answer say about you?

[ 24.08.2005, 03:56: Message edited by: London ]

Posts: 6175  |  IP: Logged
vikram

 - posted      Profile for vikram           Edit/Delete Post 
How much? Jesus...

Best blags?

I don't know if this counts as a blag, but this gay toni & guy hairdresser who was slightly in love with me would style my hair for free whenever I had a dinner or whatever to attend.

Absurd quantities of cocaine back when I did drugs.

Guestlistings and the like. Free best table-in- the-house at a topless Vampiress show (Bite) in Vegas.

Two and a half grand from the Hardship Fund at College when I was totally broke with wolves drooling at the door a few years ago.

That O.C. picnic set [Wink]


You should stalk a band about til they get big and then youcould be like their official world tour documentarian (is that a word?), like that kid inAlmost Famous.

Posts: 5190  |  IP: Logged
vikram

 - posted      Profile for vikram           Edit/Delete Post 
look at the google ad!

 -

Posts: 5190  |  IP: Logged
Thorn Davis

 - posted      Profile for Thorn Davis           Edit/Delete Post 
I think the most expensive things I blagged were a surround sound system, and and LCD TV. I'm not sure the TV counts, though, because they gave it to me without asking. I turned up at a hotel, and it was just there, sitting in my room, waiting for me to take it home. (I know how that sounds, but it really was a gift - it had a note attached to it and everything). The surround sound system, I had to ask for though. I think at that time my favoured blagging technique was to ring up a PR and suggest I was in the market for [Insert technology here] and ask what trade price was on a particular model. Then, hopefully they'd say "That's free to you!". This worked best with companies that I didn't write about much, who realised that editorial coverage could be bought.

I also managed to get hold of a few MP3 players for friends and stuff, usually when I had a feature coming up I'd just ask for samples. That worked moderately well with the best companies being the ones most desperate to raise their profile; it was a matter of going to companies like Samsung and Creative, that knew they needed publicity.

No idea how you would go about blagging a £3000 report though. Actually - now I think about it I did used to 'blag' these, in the sense that no money would change hands, but teasing snippets would find their way into features (or occasionally a double page spread about the latest Mintel figures), so they got the publicity and I got market data for nowt.

Posts: 13758  |  IP: Logged
dang65
it's all the rage
 - posted      Profile for dang65           Edit/Delete Post 
Have you tried asking your local library to get a copy for you? I mean, do you actually need to own it?

Probably the best blag I done was when I set my heart on a Psion Series 3a when they first came out and there was no way I could afford one with my own money. So, I basically created a business case for the company to supply one to every member of the 24hr rota where I worked. It was astonishing how many good reasons I could think of for using the things every minute of every day we were on duty. There was really no argument they could think of against us having them, and sure enough they were delivered, sign here, there you go.

Half the guys were, like, wow, ace, a new Psion! The other half were, er, what does this shit do then? Several of them were just left in lockers, never opened.

So, for the sake of getting me one Psion 3a for about 120 quid or something, they bought about 20 of the things for about 2400 poun'. That's fairly extreme blagging I'd say.

Posts: 8467  |  IP: Logged
Waynster

 - posted      Profile for Waynster           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by vikram:
You should stalk a band about til they get big and then you could be like their official world tour documentarian (is that a word?), like that kid inAlmost Famous.

Blagged that already. Damn fun.

London, does the other half require a photographer? Well don't ask, don't get.

I used to do a fair bit of blagging - photo passes for gigs and the like. Managed some good uns too - Alice Cooper, Janes Addiction. Just out of practice a bit now what with having a proper job. Damn I need to get out more....

--------------------
Noli nothis permittere te terere

Posts: 4310  |  IP: Logged
Vogon Poetess

 - posted      Profile for Vogon Poetess           Edit/Delete Post 
There was this guy at uni who worked in the union bar who really fancied my housemate Anna. I think he knew he didn't really stand a chance with her, but he would always serve us first, even if there were several people in front of us. That was great.

Also in Warsaw, my mate's girlfriend Dominika always used to march to the top of the queue and tell the bouncers "these guys are from England. You should let them in first." Amazingly this seemed to work.

Also Thorn got me an upgrade on my phone about 4 years ago. For about 10 days my phone was smaller than all my friends', then they shaved another 10 cubic cm off the Nokia 55378008 or whatever and it was desperately untrendy again. And he got me one of them 3 pm players.

I followed your link London, but don't understand what it is you want. I can't even work out if it's a book or a DVD. It looks dull as shit I have to say.

[ 24.08.2005, 04:50: Message edited by: Vogon Poetess ]

--------------------
What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden.

Posts: 4941  |  IP: Logged
Ringo

 - posted      Profile for Ringo           Edit/Delete Post 
One day I'm going to try and blag something from Renault by being a lookalike for Spanish F1 driver Fernando Alonso

 -

Posts: 12211  |  IP: Logged
New Way Of Decay

 - posted      Profile for New Way Of Decay           Edit/Delete Post 
That dude is like a Ringo/Physic amalgam.

edit: Sorry London. The last blag I can think of is one I had already posted: blagging our way into the Vets beginning of year at the Electric Ballroom. It was supposed to be a 'seventies' themed event but luckily I was already wearing an afghan coat. We had a good ruse: We've just come back off holiday from our gap year. We haven't been into the University yet but the dean had told us we at least could join the party. Tickets? Oh (sadface) He didn't tell us we needed tickets. Oh not to worry mate. Good Vet. Bad Vet. Leave it Felix. There'll be other parties. But not the induction party, no. We can? We can go in? Excellent!

I deliberatley sent in a rant to the Metro yesterday, hoping that it had enough disgruntled moral brow-beating that they would print it.

They did.

[ 24.08.2005, 05:18: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]

--------------------
BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

Posts: 11617  |  IP: Logged
MiscellaneousFiles

 - posted      Profile for MiscellaneousFiles           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
I deliberatley sent in a rant to the Metro yesterday, hoping that it had enough disgruntled moral brow-beating that they would print it.

They did.

What was it about?
Posts: 14015  |  IP: Logged
New Way Of Decay

 - posted      Profile for New Way Of Decay           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
What was it about?

It started off as someone writing in to say how disgusted they were that someone could spend forty one thousand pounds in total to spray champagne around a room. That they work for a charity and that one night of fun for someone could be a new school or enough bowls of rice for the next thousand years or somesuch. The next day three people wrote in saying that her letter was 'stupid' and she should 'live a little' and he could 'do what he wanted with his money' the last one being slightly too liberal for my liking but a valid point. We're not really talking about a personal choice of purchase. We're talking about the fact that the activity itself was so ridiculously wasteful, but I guess therein lies the thrill. But anyway, what I wrote in about was that three people could write in to tell the first person that she was the one being selfish. Naivé perhaps, but ...well I don't know the fact three people thought that wasting so much money on something that he didn't even drink. Well I guess it will never sit right when someone thinks pissing thousands up the wall is ok while others starve. It's never going to make sense to me. I know it happens, but when it's highlighted in this fashion, you can't help but wonder really and actually, about the state of our world.

Heres the article from the BBC btw.

[ 24.08.2005, 05:39: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]

--------------------
BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

Posts: 11617  |  IP: Logged
Vogon Poetess

 - posted      Profile for Vogon Poetess           Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, I think I might have read that this morning. Didn't register that it was signed "Mikee Television, Shepherd's Bush" though. I also didn't really know what it was about as I only read the Metro if 1. I get a seat at Victoria and 2. there's one lying around. You really can read the whole thing cover to cover in the 6 minutes it takes from Victoria to South Ken.

--------------------
What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden.

Posts: 4941  |  IP: Logged
discodamage
Again with the bagels ?
 - posted      Profile for discodamage           Edit/Delete Post 
well done mikey! yours was the best letter.

--------------------
EXETER- movement of Jah people.

Posts: 2841  |  IP: Logged
discodamage
Again with the bagels ?
 - posted      Profile for discodamage           Edit/Delete Post 
although using the phrase 'i like to withdraw' was possibly a tactical mistake.

--------------------
EXETER- movement of Jah people.

Posts: 2841  |  IP: Logged
MiscellaneousFiles

 - posted      Profile for MiscellaneousFiles           Edit/Delete Post 
Jesus Christ! That's like buying a Porsche just to push it over a cliff. But at least that would look cool.

I can't understand what's so impressive about spraying champagne. I guess he's trying to say "look at my magnum green cock and its giant spurts of priceless jizzom". Are we living in the nineteen eighties?

At least he had the decency to leave a (£3,000) tip though...

Posts: 14015  |  IP: Logged
London

 - posted      Profile for London           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by dang65:
Have you tried asking your local library to get a copy for you? I mean, do you actually need to own it?

I did wonder about that, but I thought it might be a bit crap to wander into Hackney Council's dusty, threadbare, poverty-stricken library, with its one BBC computer with a broken spacebar, and demand "Please can you spend 3 grand on a copy of Mobile Entertainment: Applications and Markets, the authoritative 5-volume guide to key mobile data traffic and revenue drivers in the mobile entertainment sector - covering mobile music, mobile gambling, mobile gaming, adult services, images, personalisation and video." I don't know why, but I thought that maybe they might think I was a bit of a wanker or something (and that's before I'd even opened my mouth, ho ho ho).

I think the best thing I ever blagged was a Hello Kitty vibrator, via Bizarre magazine. There were also these dildos we got sent: one was in the shape of a dog cock, and one was in the shape of a horse cock. The editor used to love getting the horse cock and putting it in his trousers hanging out, then wandering round, casually talking to people and stroking the horse cock as he did so. That was fun. Then a new editor took over and locked all the good stuff away in his drawer, including the horse cock. Bastard.

Posts: 6175  |  IP: Logged
MiscellaneousFiles

 - posted      Profile for MiscellaneousFiles           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by London:
horse cock

I didn't know horses used vibrators.
Posts: 14015  |  IP: Logged
Abby
Slave Girl of Gor
 - posted      Profile for Abby           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
You should stalk a band about til they get big and then you could be like their official world tour documentarian (is that a word?)
My mates band is about to be famous - you could stalk them? They actually might be as well, for real - they are supporting Kaiser Cheifs at something and doing Reading (I think), and have photoshoots paid for by their label, not just their mate who has done a photography course.
Posts: 2793  |  IP: Logged
dang65
it's all the rage
 - posted      Profile for dang65           Edit/Delete Post 
Thing is about that story, it's just one extreme of the scale. Most of us are merely very wasteful, some are extremely wasteful and this guy happens to be obscenely wasteful.

It's like the argument about 4x4s. They are fuel guzzlers, they clog up the roads and car parks, they are a disgusting insult to our beloved environment. Well, so is any car. It's only the blatant size and expense of a Porsche Cayenne or a Range Rover that incites such rage and letters to the papers.

The champagne sprayer's clearly an extreme nutter, but should we perhaps check that we're without sin ourselves before we start lobbing bricks?

Posts: 8467  |  IP: Logged
squeegy
'small african childe'
 - posted      Profile for squeegy           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by London:
one was in the shape of a dog cock, and one was in the shape of a horse cock

Do you know what kind of dog it was? That would be the first thing I would ask.

I assume there would be a difference between an Irish Wolfhound and a Scottie. And lets face it, who wants a Scottie cock?

--------------------
supa scrub

Posts: 2057  |  IP: Logged
herbs

 - posted      Profile for herbs           Edit/Delete Post 
Dang - it's about greed, though, innit. Taking more than you need. You might 'need' (in the privileged, Western sense) a car, but you don't 'need' one that takes up twice as much room as others, uses twice as much petrol, and is designed to mow down small children and animals without jogging the Classic FM's Greatest Smooth Classics CD in the walnut dash.

Having a bottle, or magnum, of champagne to drink, is more than a need, it's a privilege, and seeing such wanton loads-a-money wad-in-face abuse of what most people regard as a luxury will get up the nose of yer average metro reader or, indeed, normal person.

[ 24.08.2005, 06:18: Message edited by: herbs ]

Posts: 4537  |  IP: Logged
MiscellaneousFiles

 - posted      Profile for MiscellaneousFiles           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by dang65:
The champagne sprayer's clearly an extreme nutter, but should we perhaps check that we're without sin ourselves before we start lobbing bricks?

I don't own a car.
I walk to the shops.
I get the enviro-licious train to work.

If auto ownership is the benchmark of evil, then I'm no sinner.

Posts: 14015  |  IP: Logged
dang65
it's all the rage
 - posted      Profile for dang65           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by London:
quote:
Originally posted by dang65:
Have you tried asking your local library to get a copy for you? I mean, do you actually need to own it?

I did wonder about that, but I thought it might be a bit crap to wander into Hackney Council's dusty, threadbare, poverty-stricken library, and demand a copy of Mobile Entertainment that maybe they might think I was a bit of a wanker or something.
I don't think libraries are expected to be judgemental about their customers reading choices. I mean, most of them have several bookcases full of large print Mills and Bloom books ffs.

No, I was thinking that you could ask if they were able to obtain a copy from anywhere on your behalf. I don't know if libraries exchange books between local authorities, but they could probably at least advise where you could find a copy. There's also specialist libraries which I believe are open to the public. British Telecom used to have one somewhere round Blackfriars, though it may have moved elsewhere now. It's fairly likely that a place like that might have a copy. Or the British Library. I think there is a legal requirement for them to be automatically sent a copy of every publication printed in the country.

Posts: 8467  |  IP: Logged
ben

 - posted      Profile for ben           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by London:
I want something. I want this thing. Problem is. This thing costs £3,229 pounds. HOW DO I GET IT? How does one get business reports for nothing? How do you get on the guest list for conferences and things? I can blag lots of stuff, but I sure as shit can't blag this. Any ideas?

Hope this link works.

You won't be able to take the latest copy away but you may be able to read it here.

Drop me a line if you need any more detail.

Posts: 8657  |  IP: Logged
London

 - posted      Profile for London           Edit/Delete Post 
*ben! ben to thread!*

edit: eyyy, he's here already [Smile]

double edit: Thanks Ben! Are you gonna be around in London at all in the near future? If so, I should time my reading room visit to coincide, so we can do lunch!

[ 24.08.2005, 06:48: Message edited by: London ]

Posts: 6175  |  IP: Logged
dang65
it's all the rage
 - posted      Profile for dang65           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by herbs:
Dang - it's about greed, though, innit. Taking more than you need. You might 'need' (in the privileged, Western sense) a car, but you don't 'need' one that takes up twice as much room as others...

Yeah, I do understand this point, but it's all just different rungs of the same ladder. There's plenty of people that could manage absolutely fine without a car at all (including my own family - I'm not being judgemental here) but so many of us still own them, whether it be a new Volkswagen Toerag or a weeny little second-hand Nissan Micra. It really makes little difference. They take up the same space, give or take a couple of feet - they both take 1 x NCP car park space, put it that way - and they both consume large amounts of fuel, whether one consumes more or not.

Same with the Champagne. That was an extreme act which got into the papers, but millions of people drink expensive whisky, champagne, fine wine, imported beer etc etc every day of the week. Why is that OK, but this guy's act completely unacceptable? It can't be purely the amount of money spent can it? Coz where do you draw the line on that?

Posts: 8467  |  IP: Logged
Thorn Davis

 - posted      Profile for Thorn Davis           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
I don't own a car.
I walk to the shops.
I get the enviro-licious train to work.

If auto ownership is the benchmark of evil, then I'm no sinner.

Yeah - Dang needs to stop dragging us all down to his level. I walk to work - so I sneer even at the wasteful, poison creating process of building Dang's latest planet choking bicycle.
Posts: 13758  |  IP: Logged
herbs

 - posted      Profile for herbs           Edit/Delete Post 
I see what you mean, Dangeroo, but I think the champagne outrage is because he didn't drink it. He didn't use it for what it was intended. Drinking expensive drinks is a bit wanky, but at least you're actually drinking them, not filling a bath, or pouring it down the drain. He was using his wealth and status to say 'fuck you lot - i'm so rich i don't even have to drink it'.

Maybe that applies to 4WDs, too. They're intended to traverse rivers, pull horses out of bogs, etc, and no-one minds when farmers have them, but when their size and power is instead just used to confer status, that's when the wrath descends. And they do take up more room - try passing one of them coming the other way on a busy London street - you have to reverse three miles to find a passing place big enough. Wankers.

[ 24.08.2005, 06:39: Message edited by: herbs ]

Posts: 4537  |  IP: Logged
London

 - posted      Profile for London           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by squeegy:
Do you know what kind of dog it was? That would be the first thing I would ask.

I assume there would be a difference between an Irish Wolfhound and a Scottie. And lets face it, who wants a Scottie cock?

I believe said member was modelled upon that of a German Shepherd. But compared to the horse cock, it might as well have belonged to a Scottie. It was tiny, and pointed at the end, with this wierd knot thing. The horse one was just big.

[ 24.08.2005, 06:45: Message edited by: London ]

Posts: 6175  |  IP: Logged
Vogon Poetess

 - posted      Profile for Vogon Poetess           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by herbs:
I see what you mean, Dangeroo, but I think the champagne outrage is because he didn't drink it. He didn't use it for what it was intended. Drinking expensive drinks is a bit wanky, but at least you're actually drinking them, not filling a bath, or pouring it down the drain. He was using his wealth and status to say 'fuck you lot - i'm so rich i don't even have to drink it'.

Maybe that applies to 4WDs, too. They're intended to traverse rivers, pull horses out of bogs, etc, and no-one minds when farmers have them, but when their size and power is instead just used to confer status, that's when the wrath descends. And they do take up more room - try passing one of them coming the other way on a busy London street - you have to reverse three miles to find a passing place big enough. Wankers.

Yeah, this is the thing about landrovers in London. Landrovers are supposed to be caked in mud on the outside, border collie hair on the inside with the seats covered in sun-faded Horse & Hound magazines, mouldering lead ropes and crusty wax jackets. When I see them traversing the boggy wilderness of Kensington I consider throwing myself under them just to fuck them up with a bit of blood spatter.

Also- it's probably mildly amusing to spray one champagne bottle at a party. But several? What a dull party trick. For that kind of money he could have offered his guests some decent entertainment- a bouncy castle, an actual castle made out of jelly with an ice cream moat etc. I bet none of the guests bother going to one of his boring bashes again.

--------------------
What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden.

Posts: 4941  |  IP: Logged
Jessica Rabbit
TMO Member
 - posted      Profile for Jessica Rabbit           Edit/Delete Post 
Oh God, that's just brought back the most awful drunken memory. We were playing truth or dare at a friends divorce party, and I landed the dare of [small voice] wanking off her german shepherd (dog, not person)[small voice]. If anyone else ever finds themselves in this awkward position, it helps if you rub their chests at the same time. Apparently it reminds them of proper dog sex.
Posts: 91  |  IP: Logged
MiscellaneousFiles

 - posted      Profile for MiscellaneousFiles           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
Yeah, this is the thing about landrovers in London. Landrovers are supposed to be caked in mud on the outside, border collie hair on the inside with the seats covered in sun-faded Horse & Hound magazines, mouldering lead ropes and crusty wax jackets. When I see them traversing the boggy wilderness of Kensington I consider throwing myself under them just to fuck them up with a bit of blood spatter.

Landrovers are meant for the country, yes. But Dang's talking about a different class of car - the Luxury 4x4. They might look superficially similar and have 4x4 mechanicals, but they're not intended to actually go off road. They're marketed as cars that can climb a mountain, but the manufacturers know full well that they will be bought by rich-ards, for their wives and kids. They are filled with electronic gadgets, leather seats, and a plush carpet which will never see mud.

 -

Posts: 14015  |  IP: Logged
New Way Of Decay

 - posted      Profile for New Way Of Decay           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by herbs:
Drinking expensive drinks is a bit wanky, but at least you're actually drinking them, not filling a bath, or pouring it down the drain. He was using his wealth and status to say 'fuck you lot - i'm so rich i don't even have to drink it'.

That's how it seems to me. Thank you Herbs for putting it so succinctly. My main anger was not directed at the sham-pagne party, but at the fact three other people wrote in to call out someone who perhaps might be stating the obvious, was highlighting how important money, even just a small amount is to people. It was benway who had a good point that peoples own private business only becomes immoral when it hurts someone else. In a way, this behaviour is insulting. It's two fingers to old ladies with curled spines cleaning toilets so that they can buy spam and the cheap grey chicken in Tescos. It's a symbol of our culture and our achievements and that hurts me.

Veep: I did sign it Television but they took my work addy as gospel. Thankfully, they didn't include my made up middle initial 'A' because that would have really pissed me off.

--------------------
BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

Posts: 11617  |  IP: Logged
herbs

 - posted      Profile for herbs           Edit/Delete Post 
Surely purchasers of such monstrosities redefine the term 'utter wanker'?
Posts: 4537  |  IP: Logged
New Way Of Decay

 - posted      Profile for New Way Of Decay           Edit/Delete Post 
jessica rabbit urrebeccaloos@icm£5

--------------------
BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

Posts: 11617  |  IP: Logged


 
This topic is comprised of pages: 2 1  2 
 
   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | The Moon Online

copyright TMO y2k+

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.6.1