everybody should have an elve. nobody should have more than one elve. i have just realised that, in giving everyone an elf number in an attempt to preserve the anonymity of the process, i have removed any kind of hint as to whether the elve you are sending your bounteous giften to is a boyelf or breastedelf. if you are unable to buy presents that are not genderspecific, please get in touch, and i will tell you whether your chosen elf is male, non- male, or transexual. (if you are a transsexual elve and would prefer not to be outed my dicretion is guaranteed- i am a proud member of the LGBTElf community, look, there is a rainbow on my pointy hat.) if, however, you are going to be sending some mouldy fruit, a wet biscuit and a pair of soiled undercrackers, as i imagine most of you are, it wont matter much.
and no, seeing as so many of you seem to be interested- i will not tell you if your chosen elf is someone you might happen to think is a bit of a cock on the boards. i *will* not do that. this is about christmas, and loving, and giving, and receiving, and rubbing, and nuzzling, and THRUSTINGand- ooh! please excuse me. ive just remembered, i have to go and... wash my neighbours mouse.
-------------------- evil is boring: cheerful power Posts: 1655
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Disco- I realise that making it anonymous is fun, but I'm slightly concerned about posting packages without a name on, especially this time of year when posties are overloaded and don't have the time to make a proper effort. If there are people from overseas involved in it, there is bound to be delay at customs with nameless parcels- if indeed they are allowed to go through at all.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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Surely secret santa is only supposed to be secret in that you don't know who your receiving from? It's idiotic if you don't know who you're buying for. How in the fuck are you supposed to get them a decent gift?
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Surely secret santa is only supposed to be secret in that you don't know who your receiving from? It's idiotic if you don't know who you're buying for. How in the fuck are you supposed to get them a decent gift?
why in the fuck do you even care, seeing as your involvement in the thing is entirely restricted to criticising from the sidelines?
if people want to know their elf's real name, they can feel free to email me. i thought the point was it was supposed to be entirely anonymous; ive obviously misunderstood the concept.
-------------------- evil is boring: cheerful power Posts: 1655
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quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: why in the fuck do you even care, seeing as your involvement in the thing is entirely restricted to criticising from the sidelines?
You're absolutely right, but it's just getting really painful to watch (moving the deadlines, failing to grasp the basic concept). I don't suppose it's any worse than people kicking the zombie thread without being involved with it, and crucially, there's not much else going on today.
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i moved the deadline so that i could get the emails sent out on saturday, a day when i thought had internet access at work and could therefore do it for free. i didnt have internet access at work as it turned out, so ive ended up paying something like £6 to organise this thing. on the friday i called a halt an hour and a half early because i hadnt received a request for elf- dom for nearly 24 hours anyway. i havent slagged the zombie threads- i havent even read them.
this whole post could more succinctly be summarised with the words 'give over, youre being a **** ', but im feeling pissed off and defensive.
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Imagine trying to take care of a baby, though, while I was standing in the kitchen with my arms folded going "Are you really going to wash it like that? You do realise you're probably giving it brain damage? Haven't you bever breast fed before. God! This is embarrassing to watch."
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That would totally work as a US sitcom, only to seal the deal Thorn would have to be actually gay rather than just camp.
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quote:Originally posted by Travelling Canadian: Well perhaps if you did an exchange with some random Canadian who lives in your city? You could send something African, and she could send you a tin of genuine maple syrup. Or something.
Real maple syrup? All you can get round here is MAPLE (flavoured) SYRUP which is totally not the same thing.
So, still in Gabs huh? You should have been at BotswanaMeat with me and the Niffer. It was good.
eta: A moose would be cool. I'll swap you a moose for a kudu.
There was a Botswana Meat? Where and when was it? Fuck, e-mail me next time!! M_A_E_bb@hotmail.com Yes, I'm still in Gabs, but contract has now been held up so we're going home to Canada for extended Christmas visit. Yes, I have actual Maple syrup - I always bring some back with me. They do sell the real stuff in Woolworths occasionally, at like 45 pula for a tiny bottle, cheaper to bring my own. And I'd be happy to bring you a moose.
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quote:Originally posted by Travelling Canadian: There was a Botswana Meat? Where and when was it? Fuck, e-mail me next time!!
It was held at the illustrious Bull and Bush which everyone knows is the meeting place of the Gaborone socialites and trend-setters. Sometime around August I think.
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Oh, I was still in Canada in Aug. We just had our International women's club Christmas lunch at B&B last Wed. If you want to do a New Year's Meat say the word. After January.
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-------------------- They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy. Posts: 1847
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Wow! I mean... just... WOW!!! I got my Secret Santa Care Parcel when I got in this evening, and... WOW!!!
I got, right, four (4), count 'em, four CDs, all of which were crackers! One was by the esteemed Bill Hicks, another by The Bobby McGees (which I'd appreciate a track listing to) and a Christmas compilation (which I played, as instructed, while opening my plethora of gifts[and which, again, I'd appreciate a track listing to]) the final by the nutso Ari Up. The DVD will either save me or cost me a fortune. I got 2 magazines, one of which was Found, a magazine I'd never heard of but which corrals together found objects/artifacts/documents/texts, one of my favourite things in the world. Random rules! The other magazine was also cool, it has an article on Jandek in it which I haven't located, yet. The Jandek article is significant as one of my Secret Santa gifts has a Jandek track on it... I got cool badges, three of which tipped me off to my Santa. I got some chocos and a beautiful carefully inscribed card.
...
I'm overwhelmed. This was one of my best Christmas moments, ever.
Thanks Secret Santa.
Have a fantastic Christmas. Get everything you wish for. Get everything you deserve, which is a whole lot more. Thanks for kick-starting my Christmas.