posted
At first I thought it was a mantra of some kind:
"Wotwood Joodu! Wotwood Joodu!"
After hearing it repeated at desk after desk around the office, I began to hear emphasis on certain syllables:
"Wotwood Joodu! Wotwood Joodu!"
I ignored it again and got on with some message board work. And then, right at my desk, I heard it again:
"Wotwood Joodu? Wotwood Joodu?"
It's a question of some kind. I can tell it's a question.
Me: "Sorry - what?"
"Y'know - the lotto! Wotwood Joodu eff yawon?"
Apparently, the estimated jackpot in this week's Lottery is £125,000,000. The question on everyone's lips - What would you do, if you won?Posts: 14015
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I'm going racing on Saturday. Using my skill and judgement I will be winning millions. Any pikey can win the lottery; only a cool-minded genius can break the bookies.
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posted
Needless to say I wouldnt still be living at home in my old bedroom *sobs*
I'd like to put enough money in the bank to live off the interest and then i'd probably take a leaf out of Vikrams book and go on a long long holiday...
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God I hate this thing, I have had one lottery ticket in my life and that was a birthday present (no win). Now all this frenzied excitement just makes me daydream about being able to live somewhere nice, and buy a new hair dryer, and other luxuries beyond my wildest dreams.
posted
Oh bugger, I missed it. Three people won anyway, two in France and one in Portugal I believe.
It may not net me hundreds of millions, but I think I'll stick to trading in stamps and Krugerrands. Watch that gold fix price, people. $570 and rising.
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To win millions. To never have to worry about an income ever again. "It won't change me life. I'll still go to work, 'cos otherwise I'd be bored. Wouldn't know what to do with meself..." my ARSE. Get some IMAGINATION you loser.
I'd need a big win, because castles with a moat big enough for a submarine don't come cheap.
I'd set up my own Production Design Workshop and make sci-fi props and prosthetics whether people wanted them or not.
I'd donate large sums of money to select charities.
I'd buy several adjacent properties in a nice middle class area and give them over for my close family to live in.
I'd buy several adjacent properties in a fashionable area and let my close friends use them.
I'd go to University to study Fine Art or something else useless and esoteric.
I'd have a collection of transportation to match my wardrobe, which would be huge. Feeling Victorian? I'll take the traction engine down to t'shops, like Saint Fred used to.
I'd make stop-frame animated short movies.
I'd have a large home cinema built, invite people round, and physically attack anyone who rustled popcorn, used a mobile phone, or kicked the back of my chair.
I'd travel extensively and see all those places I've always wanted to - but do it properly, with pith helmets and native bearers and stuff.
I'd become a vigilante, spending millions on fighting crime and finding out who shot my parents that fateful night (OK, I'm just making stuff up now).
"It won't change me". Like fuck.
I'd probably be dead in a year, but by God, what a year it would be.
[ 07.02.2006, 11:11: Message edited by: Doctor Agamemnon When ]
posted
Nice one When. I want to get a pith helmet now.
I never play the lottery on the basis that it is a cruel stealth tax on the dreams and aspirations of the working Briton, and because I've never been hit by lightening.
But if I did, and I won, I'd do it like you When. Only my version.
[ 08.02.2006, 03:31: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
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Dr. When - Lottery Consultant - I think you should apply.
Me ? If I won it? Would it change me? Hell YES!
First off there would be the houses - A posh gaff on the Prinsengracht here in the Dam, A town house in London, and appartments in any cities I take a fickle fancy too. Plus there would be the HQ - a self designed technological utopia - extremely stylish but very ecologically and well designed. Chicks dig gadgets, like the floor level automatic lighting that directs you to the loo in the middle of the night.
Motors. Lots. Even though I don't have a driving license - with that sort of money you can buy one. And bikes. And probably a helicopter (not unlike airwolf - with guns and everything). And maybe a 2nd hand F16 for nipping to the shops.
Travel - I want to see the world - I would probably just jet off (in my F16 natch) and set the GPS for somewhere like Iceland and go party. Then if somewhere in the world there was an invading hoard against some poor villagers I could nip out, fly to said affected area, pop several thousand gatling caps in them marauding asses, and pop back to the party for martinis and sex.
I'd revive the British Film industry and fight for the unfair taxation the British Government insist on charging movie makers. I'd also give you lot who wanted them jobs in the movie industry.
Invest heavily in my beloved West Ham.
Invest heavily in one or two bands who need a good break.
Look out for all my friends and family of course. Charter a jet and fly everyone off somewhere to party on a Friday night.
Spend a fortune setting up a small photographic business, which I would every week take pictures of beautiful ladies around the world while talking in a mock Eton accent and dressed in fabulous suits, then would get involved in some sort of international conspiracy which would involve explosions, hostages, fine art and so on. It would always end up with me killing or arresting the naughty men, probably involving my F16, Airwolf helicopter and fast cars. And sex with the lady. And all the time I would be followed by a rad film crew who would record it all in Dolby 5.1 and widescreen digital, of course flouting the tax laws I had won for the British Cinema Industry, and it would be a weekly TV program called "the Bastard" or something. And it would be good.
I would marry Laetitia Casta in the last episode - but for real!
Finally, once it was all but gone, I'd retire completely ungracefully to open a flea pit little venue playing class music from new bands. I'd die peacefully while the next Motorhead belt out their greatest hit to be for the first time, as I sit in the stalls, beer in hand and smile on my face.
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: I never play the lottery on the basis that it is a cruel stealth tax on the dreams and aspirations of the working Briton, and because I've never been hit by lightening.
See, I always look at it as like a charity raffle. You know, someone's coming round saying "Look we're collecting for this new theatre/ hospital/ art gallery and there's a chance you could win seven million quid." So every now and then it seems reasonable to chuck a fiver into the pot. Because - unlike Boy Racer - I care.
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Lol. But shouldn't, like, taxes pay for those things, rather than charity?
Also, part of me wants Waynster to win the looto.
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: I'd also give you lot who wanted them jobs in the movie industry.
And another part of me really doesn't.
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: I would marry Laetitia Casta in the last episode - but for real!
[ 08.02.2006, 04:12: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
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turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
Much as I love my job, there is no way I'd spend another millisecond at work if I won the lottery. (Not that I would win, as I never buy a lottery ticket.) It would just be stupid to go back to work. Why do we work? For entertainment? For companionship? For fun? Fuck no, we work to earn money to live. If you have more money than you know what to do with, there is absolutely no reason to work. Simple really.
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Strangely, this is a question that gets bandied [sic] about quite regularly in the Low-Level bunkerino...
It's taken as read that a Scottish castle (and attached Lairdship) would be the first order of business...
Next would come the conversion of a great deal of the land for off-road trialling purposes, but with popup targets for 9mm, shotgun & recurve-bow practice...
The garage, including a selection of V8+ engined exotica (a'la behatted buffoon J.K.) and a fair old selection of things with fewer wheels...
A batmobile...
A working police cruiser from Blade-Runner...
Workshops for automotive, mechanical and carpentry tomfoolery, filled with every single hand and machine-tool known to man...
A dressing-up wing - With enough sets of costumes for everyone I know to at least re-enact the Adam and the Ants Prince Charming video and/or Zardoz whenever we felt like it...
A recording studio with a 1024 channel, remote controlled, mixing desk...
A collection of left-handed guitars that were previously only available right-handed...
Bowling Alley...
Cinema (Not home cinema... Just a Cinema) with XBox360, PS/3 and PC connectivity to all seats...
An observatory...
An orangery...
A conservatory on the roof to use as an artists studio...
Heavy... Heavy... Soundproofing...
A fully equipped S&M Dungeon... (See above
A trout lake...
Three Olimpic sized (but formed from natural rock) swimming pools, joined together by perspex tunnels that wind through the house...
A full-sized Pirate Ship with skeleton crew (and no, I don't mean just enough men to crew her.. I mean a crew comprised completely of skeletons)
And...
Six...
Of...
THESE...
OMG1! OMG! OMG!
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Does anybody here notice this with their colleagues? There seems to be a correlation between the size of the main prize for the Lotto and ticket-buyers' optimism; the higher the prize, the more convinced they are that:
"We're not coming in on Monday! We're all going to be sunning ourselves in Barbados!"
"Of course you are! See you Monday!"
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I'd make it so I could have kittens all the time. At any given moment I think about half a dozen would be about right, and then when they got worn out from squeezing I would set them up in nice catty retirement homes with lovely old ladies and sunny gardens. And get new ones.
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Well that doesn't sound good - the hyena's just a largely malnourished scavenger famous for its sickly grin and pack mentality.
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I would have had 25 million as general spending money, buy house, clear debts, have a holiday etc etc. Would also buy house for my sister and her brood, mum and dad somewhere for them to relax - and give a couple of millions to them both. Then with the 100m I'd take my footballing coaches badges, start a team somewhere and have that as a hobby, make a couple of films, publish a comic book, all those things that I wanted to do as a kid.
Oh, and I'd clear all my best mates debts as well.
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