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» TMO Talk » The Library » You're chucked! (Page 1)

 
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Author Topic: You're chucked!
Good Fairy
We'll be the pirate twins again
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Simple one this.
Your best splitting up lines. Your best comeback when you see them again lines

You came out on top and you knew it. You showed them that they were not worthy of you.

Bring them on, TMO!

Posted Fish.


About 10 years ago, my now partner and I had some time apart. about 6 months.
I was seeing this Consultant Psychiatrist (Warning NEVER go out with these people, everything you say has another meaning, it seems!)
He had a problem with being gay, and also tried to make me change my clothes, sell my motorbike and buy a car....
So he dumped me, by telephone whilst I was at work on a busy Sunday afternoon shift.

about a year later, I bump into him in a bar.

He "My GOD you'vev put on a lot of weight, you look awful! I'm worried about your health"

Me "Yes, I have. I lost a 180lb arshole about a year ago but its crept back up on me"

I know you can do better....

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They weren't all your friends and you dont want to be reunited with them

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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby.
We all locked in.
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Not quite what you asked, but:

Remember Sex And The City and how Carrie got dumped by Post-It note?

A friend of mine (a really nice, charming and attractive French girl) was dumped by her arse of a boyfriend via fridge magnet poetry.

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i'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song

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Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day.
Stupid commercialised crap
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Unfortunately I've never been dumped or dumped someone in anything other than a fever of agonised embarrassment.

Although I do have some respect for the bloke who - after we'd been seeing each other sporadically for a month - revealed that, actually, his name wasn't Chris, he did have a landline, but the chances of his live-in girlfriend picking it up were high, and so perhaps on balance we wouldn't be seeing each other any more.

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rooster
"When You're Hungry For A Big Cock!"
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All my breakups of any significant relationships have been over hours of agonized tears which can't be reduced to tmo-worthy one-liners.
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Uber Trick
DANGER!
unexploded sex bomb
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Damn straight, lady!

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uberwench

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I have no relationship ending one liners but I once managed to dump someone by moving to another country and not telling them. They thought I was going visiting my Mum for the weekend. I just didn't come back. It's one of the more cowardly things I've ever done, but, telllingly, not the most cowardly.
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Does anyone really end relationships with cutting one liners? Aren't they usually either mumbling "it's not you it's me" type semi-apologies or screaming "you fucking cheating bitch" style flaming rows? Maybe that's just me.
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ralph

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quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Maybe that's just me.

Maybe it's just a guy thing, as that's pretty much how every breakup I ever had went down.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Does anyone really end relationships with cutting one liners?

Rhett Butler did. Or do you mean real people?
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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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Or isn't sometimes the bitter, hard to swallow 'relief' that comes at the end of months of agonising, arguing and numerous attempts at 'making it better'?

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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The moment I like best is throwing that first shovelful of earth in their grave and wondering what the future holds.
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ralph

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Personally, I savor the arrival of the registered letter containing the restraining order. You know it's over then. [Frown]
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Dr. Benway

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I have a feeling that I've already committed any dumping events to the TMO brain. None involved one liners.

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I have shit on you, son

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doc d
late to the party
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i like that moment when you're not really aware they're fucking someone else and realising they're fucking someone else.

and you're like "oh this is nice, we can still be friends"

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London

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I like that moment when they leave their Myspace account logged in and you realise they were having lame cybersex with a 17-year-old indie girl on your laptop in your bed while you were downstairs in the kitchen making coffee.
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New Way Of Decay

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Did you get dumped for reading the mail?

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BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

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London

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Negative.
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vikram

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were you going out with kovacs?
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Lol

@Vikram

Not at London. That is awful.

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New Way Of Decay

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Is this the same one you showed how to find the g-spot London because it sounds like its going to be wasted on 17 year olds.

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BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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That is awful. Better off without him, I say.

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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jnhoj
TMO Member
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when my best friend, a long time ago now copped off with my then OMG FIRST LOVE I said to him, as the rain poured and he wasn't letting me get home because he was so sorry and I eventually dodged past him...

"you were always fucking shit at bulldog"

you might now be shacking up with my girlfriend but FUCK YOU IM BETTER AT PRIMARY SCHOOL GAMES.

get in!

eta: mikee, i think londons boyfriend wasn't 17, the slutho he was cybering while london was enslaved to the male race, making tea, was 17. That's pretty bad london, you should have slammed the lid on his cock. I suppose yo might have broke the laptop though.

[ 04.04.2006, 14:07: Message edited by: jnhoj ]

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www.storytimewithjohn.blogspot.comwww.gingercomics.com

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London

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It wasn't that bad! It was just sad because it made me think less of him, and until that moment I'd been pretty fucking entranced.

[Frown]

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rooster
"When You're Hungry For A Big Cock!"
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I do have one funny breakup story: I told a guy I really wasn't that attracted to him and he had the gall to ask if we could still be friends with benefits!?! Um...I don't think he got it.
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doc d
late to the party
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we're all assuming the slutho was the person they said they were. what if it was the leslie grantham doing his thing pretending he was a 17 year old indie kid?
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New Way Of Decay

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quote:
Originally posted by jnhoj:
eta: mikee, i think londons boyfriend wasn't 17, the slutho he was cybering while london was enslaved to the male race, making tea, was 17.

I realise this! But unless London showed him where his G-spot is, then one would deduce that it was the female equivalent of the G and that the newly acquired knowledge, from London to manboy = 17 year old girls on the receiving end of seasoned poon topography.

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BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

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London

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Eh? Why limit yourself to 17-year-olds when there's a whole world of indie poon out there? C'mon.
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The Sheer
newbie
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.

[ 12.04.2006, 07:05: Message edited by: Honeybaby ]

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Baroness Heartless Von Shitbitch it is then.
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herbs

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Why does everyone keep forgetting "Anal Probe"? [Mad]
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The Sheer
newbie
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.

[ 12.04.2006, 07:04: Message edited by: Honeybaby ]

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herbs

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Try setting it to 'vibrate'.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Or combine anal proble use with the spanking thing. That might help.
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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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TMO is in a kinky mood today!

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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So, 'Anal Probin' Shit Bitchin' Janice' it is then.

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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