turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
Yes, we're doing the deed and getting married in September! (Before anyone asks, I'm talking about Sept '06). Not long to plan lots of stuff and get used to having a new surname in a few months! Very strange idea. On the one hand, I'm very excited. On the other hand, I'm dreading all the organising and planning and filling out forms. We're keeping it all fairly simple, so I thought it would be a doddle, but it's hard work, this wedding lark!
-------------------- Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. Posts: 1189
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turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: Congrats Turbo and to the soon-to-be spouse of turbo. Though I thought the whole name-changing thing had become passe over there, no?
Thank you all. Yes, it is something you can choose to do - although most people I know have taken their husband's name. Over here you can take his name, keep your own, double barrel them or let him take your name. I'm an old-fashioned girl at heart, so I'm taking his name. On the marriage papers, I saw you can also choose to take your ex's name, which struck me as rather odd! "Yes darling, I'd love to marry you but I'll be using my ex's surname, hope you don't mind."
And yes, NWOD, I'm bricking it. Some of the time. The rest of the time I'm using the head-in-sand approach.
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posted
I took Pink's surname when we got married, and only now, almost 3 years later, am I realising the error of my ways. I had a job interview last week, and they said they would do it alphabetically out of the four of us there. My maiden name started with E, my married name with W, so I was sitting there sweating for ages, grrr.
I'm quite an old fashioned girl at heart in some ways, so there was never a question of me not changing my name when I got married and I like my new surname really, but going from a long double barrelled name to a more normal surname does take a bit of getting used to. I do spend less time spelling my name to people over the phone though, so I guess that's a bonus.
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quote:Originally posted by turbo: I saw you can also choose to take your ex's name, which struck me as rather odd! "Yes darling, I'd love to marry you but I'll be using my ex's surname, hope you don't mind."
why odd? my surname is now a double barrel between my ex's last name and my husbands last name. i kept my ex's last name as a clause in our divorce so that minigree and i would contineu to have the same last name and when i re-married it was an easy compromise to help shape the family unit for me to double barrel the names my ex and his family understand the reasoning as do my husband and his family there are more people out there that do the same, surely?
not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
It took us at least a year and a half to plan our wedding so good luck!
Having said that the most intense activity was in the last 3 months so I guess it's ok as long as you have the reception place sorted.
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turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
quote:Originally posted by Grianagh: why odd? my surname is now a double barrel between my ex's last name and my husbands last name. i kept my ex's last name as a clause in our divorce so that minigree and i would contineu to have the same last name and when i re-married it was an easy compromise to help shape the family unit for me to double barrel the names my ex and his family understand the reasoning as do my husband and his family there are more people out there that do the same, surely?
Ah yes, hadn't thought of a scenario like this. Now it does make sense. It's just that the way the form was set out, made it look like you could change your name to your ex's when you married your second husband, which would be very strange.
Going to view the wedding & party location on Friday! Very excited!
[ 21.06.2006, 16:40: Message edited by: turbo ]
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posted
Can I just hijack this thread for a moment on a vaguely related sort of topic?
Does anyone know the legal status of titles, like Mr, Mrs, Ms etc etc? It's just that Mrs Dang has suggested that men of all ages and status are known as Mr, whereas women can be Miss, Ms or Mrs and that women's titles therefore age and categorise them. She's been trying to get away with no title for the last few months and has found it's actually not possible, though no one can seem to explain why.
For example, she opened a bank account and the paperwork and cash card all say "Mrs...". Apparently they "have to". She ordered some clothes from a website the other day and there was a select box with all the titles and an option to select none, which she did, only for the items to arrive addressed to "Mrs...". She contacted the website (this really is a personal campaign thing she's got going on), and they said they had to put something in by default. Again, no explanation, just "that's the way it's done".
I've told her she's wasting her time, not because it's not a valid question - why do we have titles at all, unless you're Rear Admiral or Reverend or something? - but the problem is that most people (i.e. everyone except Mrs Dang) don't even think twice about it.
But are titles a simple waste of ink, or is there a legal requirement to have one, even if it's the default "Mr" for almost all men everywhere?
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posted
I've thought about it before, Mr Dang, and have tried not to have a title, and it does seem something so ingrained in "the system" that it's very hard to get out of. Though I think that if I were to get a PhD I'd probably insist on Dr. Maybe I should get ordained as well. And join the Navy.
The reason, I'm guessing, is that it is a form of deference. That it is more polite to put a title than to not. Which in olde worlde terms I find to be quite endearing and, you know, let's not lose another tradition and all that, but it is a bit silly, particularly the whole Mrs/Miss/Ms thing (by which I mean, it's bad that there are all those and only Mr for chaps, not that women are geeting huffy about it).
quote:Originally posted by mart: Though I think that if I were to get a PhD I'd probably insist on Dr. Maybe I should get ordained as well. And join the Navy.
It does seem to be a bit of a status thing doesn't it. I mean, it wouldn't be much good being Field Marshall Smith if there weren't lots of commonplace Mr Smiths for one to look down upon.
In places like Italy and Germany, of course, it's standard practice to use Engineer as a title in the same way as Doctor. And I believe that quite a lot of people are entitled to use Professor, though most people who qualify probably don't actually use it.
I think it just feeds the ego of the kind of people who become doctors or reverends. They're just doing a job like anyone else. We don't call ourselves "IT Consultant Dang" or "Linguist Mart". What's wrong with these people?
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: [QUOTE]Originally posted by mart: [qb]'linguist Mart
Actually I hear Mart did go by that title, back in 1980s Yorkshire...
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
It's a bit of a pain in the arse this title lark. When I changed my name I had to do all manner of battle with banks and building societies and all that shit about title. I don't like Mrs. I don't like Miss. When I was unmarried, apparently getting 'Ms' on cards and mortgages and shit like that wasn't a bother. As soon as I announced marriage and name change though eyes glazed over to my pleadings and everything became 'Mrs'. It maketh me rage.
What does Mrs Dang say to being Ms Dang, though, Dang? Ms is pretty neutral about status.
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posted
Our new next door neighbour is a commercial pilot. There's loads of them round here cause we're just round the corner from the airport. Commercial pilots do years of training before they qualify, and they are responsible for the lives of hundreds of people every day, so why aren't they Pilot Jones or something?
This is just another issue to add to my ongoing feud with doctors actually. I like what Marcus Brigstocke calls David Blaine... "Gitwizard". That would be ideal for doctors. "Gitwizard Scott will see you now, Plumber Wilson."
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quote:Originally posted by Louche: What does Mrs Dang say to being Ms Dang, though, Dang? Ms is pretty neutral about status.
Well, she reckons that sounds like an old maid that can't get a man. Don't ask me. Is there a married/unmarried designation in other countries? I think they just have Madame for grown ups in France don't they? And what does "Ms" mean anyway? Is it short for something?
Dictionary.com has this note, but no explanation of its actual origin:
quote:Many of us think of Ms. or Ms as a fairly recent invention of the women's movement, but in fact the term was first suggested as a convenience to writers of business letters by such publications as the Bulletin of the American Business Writing Association (1951) and The Simplified Letter, issued by the National Office Management Association (1952). Ms. is now widely used in both professional and social contexts. As a courtesy title Ms. serves exactly the same function that Mr. does for men, and like Mr. it may be used with a last name alone or with a full name. Furthermore, Ms. is correct regardless of a woman's marital status, thus relegating that information to the realm of private life, where many feel it belongs anyway. Some women prefer Miss or Mrs., however, and courtesy requires that their wishes be respected.
posted
Your wife may be broke Dang. Have you tried hitting her on the side or pleading with her to function? This seemed to work a treat for my television set and my Spectrum 48k respectively. I'm thinking things were much simpler in the eighties.
posted
I always understood it was just a contraction of both Mrs and Miss, a catch-all. Take out the r of Mrs, and the i of Miss, and remove one s because Mss looks like a plural.
I suspect it was coined by someone thinking along those lines and it stuck.
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Lucid
It's six o'clock somewhere, I'm having crisps !
posted
Hey that's great news Turbo - hope all goes well for you and your beau. Don't forget to have your Banns read somewhere (they're like ASBOs, apparently)
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posted
i don't even think of myself with a title i've never write one down and my credit cards have only ever had my name, no ms. mrs. miss I do use my first initial a lot which is 't.' - perhaps i have tricked the system into thinking that is my title
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posted
I wonder if there is anywhere you really can buy a 'Doctorate', I'd love to know, I'd like to buy one in parapsychology, I'd fucking love that, I'd be just like Venkman in Ghostbusters then..
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
I hate the sound of Ms- a very blunt, ugly utterance. I also hate being asked "Miss or Mrs?" and having to answer Ms, like I'm being difficult about it. Occasionally I get mistakenly emailed as Prof Poetess at work, which is quite nice.
Dang, I think some sort of title is going to be necessary, because otherwise the only option is to address people by their first name. I fucking hate it when call centre people do that as part of some naive company policy of creating a bond with the customer. I've noticed it's the first thing you're asked when you ring a big company.
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