posted
I interviewed Nick Cave today! For an hour! It was great!
I spilled some water on my iPod during the interview.
The machine kept rolling. Everything seemed to be ok. But I just played it back to transcribe it. I have ten minutes of conversation and then... nothing.
I hate myself and I want to die. What stupid thing have you done lately? Posts: 6175
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Get this - last week I entered a drift racing competition with former Wu-Tang member GZA (pro: 'jizzah'). I met him on the N29 on the way back from town. I was coming back from having a pint at the Sam Smith's by Trafalgar Square, and was a bit worse for wear. He was going back to his London crash pad in Holloway Road after spending the evening at the Hilton nearby. Anyway, we got chatting, and he said that he was going to this celebrity drift racing competition, but he didn't know how to drift race. So I told him the basics (as learned from Gran Turismo) and he was so impressed that he decided that I should go with him.
So, the next day I went round his flat near the Nag's Head. We got a car down to Heathrow and then a first class flight to Tokyo. I don't remember much of the flight though because we drank all this Cristal in the lounge at the airport. I just remember not being able to finish my second lobster. And I had the most amazing massage. Anyway, we rolled up to this incredible hotel. Really modern, but with an understated touch of traditional character, and insane views of Tokyo. Spent the first day being pampered, drinking the country's top sake, and eating sashimi so fresh that it was still gasping for air.
Anyway, due to a mix up, we had a few days to kill, and by some stroke of luck, both the entire top year of Japan's most exclusive girl's sixth form college AND the contestants of "Japan's Next Top Model" were also staying at the hotel. Thanks to GZA's general celebrity and good impromptu rapping skills, we got well in with them, and spent two or three days in a halcyon orgy with some of Japan's most beautiful young women. I had one half of the group, he had the other. Every minute felt like a lifetime of Christmases... It was the most profound experience of my life. Once that was all over, I spent a day being massaged, and then took a car around some of the hottest nightspots and basically became a celebrity overnight with my fantastic gaijin dancing skills.
But! It wasn't all fun and games. There was the competition. I turned up pretty pissed with half a dozen of the those Japanese schoolgirls in tow, and it turns out that GZA broke his microphone arm the previous night at a street MC battle, and couldn't drive. He had a word with the officials at the track, and I ended up filling in for him. Slid into this crazy Supra, did a glorified donut, and won the competition! TEN MILLION quid prize money. So I said I'd split half with GZA, and he was so gracious that I'd done him a favour that he gave me a place in the Wu-Tang Clan! I was thrilled. What a week! All that remained was to get over to NYC and start living it up. On our last night in Tokyo we partied like emperors, holding a bash on the top floor of the hotel that was so insanely awesome that they renamed the floor "The Steven Suite" in my honour
Next morning, woke up under a pile of sleeping sixth formers, and there's a message under my door
quote:
S-Dawg,
Had to split sharp 'cause I gots to be spittin' at NYC. Call my people and arrange flights, ca$h etc. See you soon,
Love,
GZA
As I walked back to the bed, scratching my head and yawning, I realised that at no point had I got any phone numbers from him. In a crazy dash I starting ringing round, but nobody would help me. Nobody could believe that it had been me behind that tinted windscreen. My only hope was the single photo that had been taken by the manager of the hotel during the suite christening ceremony - only that photo could prove my connection with the GZA, the Wu-Tang, and the 5 mil prize cash. But As I prised it from underneath the perfectly shaped buttocks of the most attractive young woman in Japan, I saw to my horror that at the moment it had been taken, I'd stupidly bent over to sneeze, and all you could see was the top of my head. In fact, as I was thrown out of the hotel for not being able to pay, I realised that I'd got no way of proving that any of it happened at all. All I could do was beg the British Embassy until they agreed to pay for my flight in exchange for four months of salary. I've been leaving messages for the GZA on the Wu-Tang official messageboard, but so far, no luck.
[ 30.01.2007, 18:24: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
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quote:Originally posted by London: I interviewed Nick Cave today! I have ten minutes of conversation and then... nothing.
I found an old Sounds magazine from out of the 80s the other day, London. Nick Cave front cover and interview. I'm sure you could patch up an article using your ten minutes and the rest from there if you want. No one would notice, probably.
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Yeah - you know. Like a supplement to the recording just in case this very thing occurs, and also to record the things that don't show up on the transcript like gestures, mood etc.
Either that or do it from memory... you did use a memory didn't you?
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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posted
Actually, I did once - about four years ago - try and record a two hour interview without turning on the MiniDisc player. But I was still able to write it up afterwards. Do you know why?
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Actually, I did once - about four years ago - try and record a two hour interview without turning on the MiniDisc player. But I was still able to write it up afterwards. Do you know why?
Had you been paying attention during the interview?
I've done stupid stuff, still that's life I guess..
Maybe you could write an whole interview based around what you would have liked Nick Cave to say salted with snippets from the 10 minutes you have and peppered with erotic images of Kylie ?
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
I'd be fucked if I could remember an hours conversation let alone accurately quote what the other person said. The trouble is the machines have taken away our skills. Damn the machines.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
Yeh, good one Darryn, make the article about how you lost 50 minutes of conversation by spilling water on your ipod. Turn that lemon into lemonade.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
Call up Nick and say 'hey flyguy, I lost your interview by doing a spill on my ipod. But I do have a recording of my sister bashing a cake to fuck. Will that do?'
quote:Originally posted by not...: I'd be fucked if I could remember an hours conversation let alone accurately quote what the other person said. The trouble is the machines have taken away our skills. Damn the machines.
Yeah but an interview's not really like a conversation. It's usually more focussed, a bit more intense, and you're usually a bit more alert, because you're looking out for interesting angles to pursue, or inventive ways to put together the article. You know - you have a conversation by the water cooler, but you're nor expecting to have to report on it later. You're probably not even expecting to comment on what the person just said five seconds ago.
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
I am sure the article is going to be awesome despite this small setback. It's not like I normally ever take that much notice of what the interviewee says anyway. I just wanted to indulge in an opportunity for some self-loathing. However, if you're all just going to take the piss I am going to become defensive and my self-loathing will turn to pride, defiance and self-belief. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, TMO!
posted
Like a stupid, I had hag-face McKeith doing her awful thing on in the background last night. I know it makes me mad, but I just can't help myself. Anyway, she made a giant gingerbread man to shock a fatty into eating less lard. Mmmm, gingerbread man, I thought, and bought one on the way to work. Now I'm going to eat it. I win! Interestingly, gingerbread men were 39p in Waitrose, but gingerbread sheep (approx similar size) were 85p. Why should this be?
I find it weird that Nick Cave's actually an Australian. It's just not quite right somehow.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Interestingly, gingerbread men were 39p in Waitrose, but gingerbread sheep (approx similar size) were 85p. Why should this be?
Dammit, if it was the other way around then the sheep could be a baaa-gain. Can you just edit your post so that works? Then we can get on with the day.
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posted
This morning I was all set to get a fruit breakfast from boots but it was inexplicably shut. There was a load of women hanging around outside, gently bumping into the locked glass door, purses in hand, unable to understand why they couldn't get in to buy their mild painkillers, diet coke, and womeny medicine things.
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quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: This morning I was all set to get a fruit breakfast from boots but it was inexplicably shut. There was a load of women hanging around outside, gently bumping into the locked glass door, purses in hand, unable to understand why they couldn't get in to buy their mild painkillers, diet coke, and womeny medicine things.
posted
Maybe it's all the ephedrine, codeine, opium and morphine that you can get hold of? Maybe they're too scared to go to real dealers but can get their hit in a nice soft, cuddly way from that nice pharmacy fellow at Boots.
Probably not, right?
Maybe it's all those stupid painful periods they keep having.
posted
yeah, I don't know. I'd also be interested to know if the recent man-centric advertising for cold remedies has swelled the queues with cock carriers.
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