Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
Ey up, Jonesy. I am also working from home today. Because my idiot husband managed to kneel on my ex-borked foot and it's experiementing with being borked again. The karmic boomerang always seems to hit me in the foot. Stupid karmic boomerang.
I could work. Or I could post on TMO in between listing the rest of my books on Green Metropolis.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
quote:Originally posted by not...: Good thanks good, How's married life treating you? Got any plans for a little one of your own?
Married life is great, much the same as it was anyway. Plans for a little one, yes. We're talking about possibly starting to stop trying not to have one some time soon. Perhaps.
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quote:Originally posted by not...: Good thanks good, How's married life treating you? Got any plans for a little one of your own?
Married life is great, much the same as it was anyway. Plans for a little one, yes. We're talking about possibly starting to stop trying not to have one some time soon. Perhaps.
That's what J and I did. Three weeks later, I was knocked up and J was strutting about with his lapels turned up.
-------------------- They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy. Posts: 1847
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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Yeh we did that too, It took a year before my spunk could muster up the energy to bother swimming all the way and butt it's way through to the egg. I had very emo spunk.
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posted
Yeah, it's annoying not having a bloody clue whether it will take like 9 months or 9 years or not at all. I'd rather it took a while, but I've got this terrible feeling it will happen at the first attempt. It's like job interviews when you don't actually want to the job. They're a dead cert.
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posted
Exactly. We'd decided to do away with the contraception but then later realised that if I became pregnant straight away, it would clash with something really important and potentially cause problems. J got in a bit of a fluster, saying things like "You'll be pregnant now - I know it. It will have happened so quickly simply because we want to wait just one more month." Lo and behold....
-------------------- They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy. Posts: 1847
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posted
That was one of the wierder things I have said on the internet. I retract the offer. I don't want to be inundated with sperm samples, my boss wouldn't like it.
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posted
I think 'jazzie' would be like, you know sperms wearing shades and donning zoot-suits and busting some moves to saxamaphone. I hadn't really thought of it. Strength? Elasticity? Opacity?
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I used to be able to fire mine about six feet under the right circumstances, but I don't think I've got the power these days Posts: 7733
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posted
That's six feet up and over the back of the head. I don't know if it would have travelled further going, like, like forward in a straight line. That's physics, which isn't really my field. I'm more into wanking.
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posted
I've never really been one for long distance spurts. Generally it just dribbles out the end. I think it's probably a venturi type effect. If you've got a narrow spoff tube, the pressure is increased so the funk fires out like a laser.
That said, I did once blast myself right in the eye, which was shocking at the time but funny now I think back. Ah, good memories.
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The only way I can really imagine tripple jumping it would be to do it in a pond. If you got down low, you could probably skim it. You'd need to hold off for a week to try and establish that jelly like consistancy. Anything softer and it would just drown.
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For several wanks afterwards, until I got my confidence back, I would wince and cower, shielding my face with my free hand when I reached my vinegar shakes. I do the same thing with party poppers, I'm always worried they're going to fire back at me and take my face off.
Flinching I mean, I don't wank them off like a cock.
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If you want to try for distance, Mikee, then I seem to remember grasping the root of the cannon, very tight, just before the point of ignition, and then letting it go when the pressure has built up can add some serious firepower. It's a matter of delicate timing, so you might need a few trial runs.
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posted
I thought the trick was to tighten that muscle you tighten when you want to stop your pee mis-stream just as you feel a spunky spurt coming on in order to increase the jump distance ?
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: I thought the trick was to tighten that muscle you tighten when you want to stop your pee mis-stream just as you feel a spunky spurt coming on in order to increase the jump distance ?
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weird.
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