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» TMO Talk » The Library » No Consequences Day (Page 16)

 
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Author Topic: No Consequences Day
jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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quote:
NWOD
Do you travel back in time if the fwaps-capacitor reaches 88mph


How fast does jizz actually travel? I mean, if it can cover a few feet in the blink of an eye, is the fastest a human being ever gets to travel the moment they are first fired from the dadcock? It's something to think about isn't it? That would explain why man is drawn towards speed. Every supercar, every landspeed record attempt, every really fast wee: just our natural desire to recreate the speed in which we entered the womb. Clarkson should have covered this by now. [INSERT WANKER JOKE HERE]

[ 23.02.2007, 08:38: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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New Way Of Decay

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A pathetic 28 miles per hour apparently.

But I can't check the source

That should be 'sauce' really for extra punnage. Ho well.

[ 23.02.2007, 08:43: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]

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Abby
Slave Girl of Gor
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I don't know if I have made this up in my mind, or if I heard about it somewhere else, but I think you can do sperm fighting. You get your two teams and add some kind of coloured dye so you can differentiate them, then you (somehow) put a small number from each team into a narrow fluid filled glass tube. The two teams swim towards each other and attack! You can then watch them fight with a microscope! (I like microscopes).

I hope I didn't make this up myself.

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New Way Of Decay

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Could you verify this? I'd like to be Blue.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Clarkson: And the top speed of spunk? A pathetic twenty eight miles an hour. But not if it's....rocket spunk!
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Abby, I'd take that down right now and copyright the format before you send it to Endemol.
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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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quote:
Originally posted by Abby:
I don't know if I have made this up in my mind, or if I heard about it somewhere else, but I think you can do sperm fighting. You get your two teams and add some kind of coloured dye so you can differentiate them, then you (somehow) put a small number from each team into a narrow fluid filled glass tube. The two teams swim towards each other and attack! You can then watch them fight with a microscope! (I like microscopes).

I hope I didn't make this up myself.

I reckon Damo would know something about this. Or perhaps even be behind it (no pun intended).

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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MiscellaneousFiles

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quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
twenty eight miles an hour

Is it possible to get caught by a speed camera in a 20 mph zone... if you're a sperm?
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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God, Jonesy' s spunk would totally have mine.
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Mine are lovers, not fighters.
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New Way Of Decay

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Flirt. Ejaculate. Dye. FIGHT!

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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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heh I was just gonna quote from that site
quote:
Science has found that most of the sperm that men produce are not the egg-seeking-fast-swimmer kind. No, it is now believed that up to 90% of sperm could be killer sperm or kamikaze sperm, as it is often called by people who have to put a catchy name to every discovered phenomenon.

“Killer sperm? Kamikaze sperm?” I can almost hear you think by way of mental telepathy.

Yes. It is a curious thing. The next frontier in male warfare. Science dictates that there are some sperm whose sole purpose is to keep other men’s sperm from fertilizing their woman’s eggs. They literally engage is head to head combat. There are enzymes that are contained in the sacs of information being carried by sperm, the sperm head, so to speak. It is with these enzymes that sperm can penetrate the egg to fertilize it. Well wouldn’t you know that these killer sperm use this to penetrate other sperms sacks. They kill each other’s heads.


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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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I really hope that Jonesy is writing a sperm fight post now and it includes the word "Sperminator"
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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I'm afraid I'm not. Although I have used the word Sperminator in my work twice this week, if that helps.

[ 23.02.2007, 08:59: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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I'm sure I read about that somewhere too - that sperm will fight the sperm of another male to prevent them fertilising any eggs around. It's the same place I also read about cervical fluids being able to detect the sperm of a non regular partner and consequently turning a bit acidic in order to make it difficult for them to reach and fertilise any eggs. Or maybe I imagined it. I'm not sure.

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I reckon Ben's sperm would win a TMO sperm fight. they're practised.
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Zygote
TMO's Member
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My sperm would kick fuck out of any other sperm. They are very angry, mine.
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ralph

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Please, Zygote. ralph-sperm are huge. And even more practised than ben's.
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MiscellaneousFiles

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quote:
Originally posted by Sidney:
It's the same place I also read about cervical fluids being able to detect the sperm of a non regular partner and consequently turning a bit acidic in order to make it difficult for them to reach and fertilise any eggs.

That explains why prostitutes taste so zesty.
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Zygote
TMO's Member
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Shut up ralph. My sperm are 'practiced' and immensely frustrated, due to my ex having had "the implant". Very frustrated sperm we're talking here. You have no idea.
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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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quote:
Originally posted by ralph:
Please, Zygote. ralph-sperm are huge. And even more practised than ben's.

but surely yours are immobilised due to their high levels of hirsuteness? Being covered in hair must decrease their aerodynamic properties.

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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ralph

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quote:
Originally posted by Sidney:
but surely yours are immobilised due to their high levels of hirsuteness? Being covered in hair must decrease their aerodynamic properties.

That's one theory, but ralph-sperm have fertilized more eggs than I care to remember. Curse these fertile loins!
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New Way Of Decay

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lol, thanks for putting an image in my head of ralphs sperm sludging out like jizz-clinkers.
....groo

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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quote:
Originally posted by ralph:
Curse these fertile loins!

Isn't that a song from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?

[ 23.02.2007, 09:18: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Zygote's sperms would be too drunken to fight. They'd be all waving their tails around erratically and offering competing sperms a pint.
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby.
We all locked in.
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sometimes i just want to give you guys a big virtual hug. the type that feels like it might turn 'inappropriate'.

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dang65
it's all the rage
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quote:
Originally posted by Louche:
I reckon Ben's sperm would win a TMO sperm fight. they're practised.

Huh. Yeah, sure.

(Actually, mine have retired now. But they retired undefeated.)

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Ringo

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hydro-dynamic...
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby.
We all locked in.
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why, it's-a-greased-lightnin'!

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Oh, okay, Dang's reproducing heyday sperms were probably better than currently reproducing Ben's sperms.
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Ringo

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I'd like to think mine would make good fighters, but they always turn up far too early and I suspect half of them would be dead already by the time the other team turned up..
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Oh and Black Mask's made twins, didn't they? Thye must be hard.
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New Way Of Decay

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Couldn't your sperm come out of retirement dang, if ben's sperm were to challenge you on national tv? Like that new Stallone film. Rocky Ballblower.

I didn't mean for that pathetic pun to break the boards.

[ 23.02.2007, 09:41: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]

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dang65
it's all the rage
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quote:
Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
Couldn't your sperm come out of retirement dang, if ben's sperm were to challenge you on national tv?

Strictly Come Dancing? I'll get into training right now.

*police sirens in distance*

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Oh, Dang
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