posted
#2 in a set of 2 threads that won't get a lot of replies on Sunday.
Sex, of course, can be really ace or pretty embarrassing and shit. Lots of things are better than bad sex in my opinion; I've more than once wished I was on my own watching telly or just settling down to sleep, while some no-mark was writhing around nude on top of me. (I should write erotic fiction really I should).
However, some things are even better, at the time and in their own way, than ace sex.
Here are two recent examples what happened to me.
1. Sinking into a hot bath after a day at work, with - in the classic girls' mag recommended style - three scented candles, lots of bubbles and a glass of wine. I actually had to say to myself "fucking hell this is great!" to acknowledge how fucking great it was. I probably said it more than once.
2. The first bite of my pizza last night, accompanied with a fuckoff big glass of nice wine and the first of 45 episodes of The Wire. My god it was a nice pizza - from a consistently reliable local company, with I think roast chicken, pineapple, sweetcorn and sausage. (YMMV). The first bite, of course, is the very best. FUCKING HELL it was good!
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Serious answers would be preferable for the first few replies I think, but I can't force you.
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posted
Swimming in the sea in Marseille in February felt pretty fantastic. It was utterly freezing, but after the initial shock had faded and I could move my arms and legs freely again I felt incredibly vital and POWERFUL.
Last year I walked/climbed up some massive hills and rocks, trudged through mire, waded through lochs and looked down over the Highlands of Scotland from mighty heights. There's a moment where you reach a peak, you're flushed, hot, breathing heavily, your exertions culminate and you see a whole big beautiful world spread beneath you. That feels pretty good.
posted
Yeah, I think some of my most memorable moments of achievement have been connected with the physical, chemical buzz of running in a particular location: weirdly, as you'd assume maybe that I'm the more cerebral, scholarly type, I imagine I'll remember those times when I'm old far more vividly than any moments of, say, publication or promotion.
So, things like cycling hard across the span of the Golden Gate Bridge, or running in Central Park, feeling like a native NYorker. Or even a summer evening in more modest Whitby, last year, when I sprinted along a sea-path just as the tide was coming in, so on the return I was splashing through shallow water.
It's that kind of thing, when you're in touch intensely both with a place and your body, actually, that makes me feel most "alive", and, again, maybe surprisingly, most like I'm connecting with who I am.
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scrawny
One Mojito, two Gin and Tonics, Three Bacardi Lime Sodas, and a couple of pints of Stella please.
posted
Hmm. I get a real jolt of excitement when I come over the ridge into Manhattan from the airport. I've only been to New York a couple of times but there's this incredible feeling when you first see the skyline - like plugging into a giant grid - that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
The best feeling at the moment is that feeling I had last Friday, when through some absolute miracle the planets aligned meaning that:
a) It was a Friday b) It felt like the first day of spring c) All my work was miraculously done d) I emailed my four favourite people at work and ALL of them were up for a big boozy lunch
Big boozy lunches are always better than sex, but when combined with a/b/c they are betterer than the bestest sex ever.
And - I feel justified in saying this since Wonderstarr has already gone with the girliest of all girly squealy 'yay!' feelings, there is something great about getting up in the morning knowing you have a new dress, a new pair of shoes, a new haircut or a reason to get dressed up that day and leaving the house feeling, for once, NOT like the world's oldest, scruffiest, dirtiest skater pretender, but actually like a million bucks. However, this feeling of looking smoking hot makes me grin like the cheshire cat, which in turn makes me look like Penfold. It's a fleeting and fragile sensation.
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posted
Probably the most recent natural chemical buzz I've had was last weekend.
I went paintballing for the first time ever!
After rampaging round a muddy field (and when I say muddy I mean a boggy, stinking, slippery, swamp) for a couple of hours; I was completely wired with adrenaline.
I was stood at breaktime attempting to drink out of a styrofoam cup but failing miserably as my hands wouldnt stop shaking.
Being shot in the arse shortly before this point probably caused some of this. Nothing quite like a paintball pellet in the bum cheek at close range to really wake you up.
posted
Wow, hi Scrawny. You were author of the last actually Good Prose first post on TMO, in my opinion, so it's nice to see you back bringing your game.
I did sound a bit girly, didn't I. I'm considering whether, for instance, a great haircut plus outfit that makes you feel like $$$ is better than sex, but I'm not sure. I certainly remember the recent times I felt I looked like T3H $SEX better than I remember every time I've shagged, so they're more vivid occasions I suppose... but that's more of a kind of general aura and glow that you might carry around you for an evening, or if you're lucky a day, rather than a particular moment when you feel "yes!! this is fucking great!". That is, it's more of a sustained feeling.
For instance, I was out at a ballroom last year and two people (men!) complimented me on my shoes, but it wasn't better than sex.
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posted
Here's another suggestion: the moment when you wake up and realise you're off work and haven't got anything unpleasant to do all day. Especially the first moment of, say, a week off work, or the Christmas or Easter or Summer hols if you get them. Like a throwback to the start of the long vac when you were at skool. I think that's a feeling of "AHHH! fuck, yes", accompanied by stretching out blissfully in your cot.
I guess moments of... of "love" must also be better than sex sometimes, but I'm fucked if I'm going to talk about that kind of thing on here! lol
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posted
Oh yeah right I'm doing one more, because this was actually one of the reasons I began the thread - the first time you feel sun on your skin, or your face, every year. It was last week, for me. It was like, oh my God, that's what the sun feels like. Welcome back! Making you feel like a flower upturning to drink it in. And it's all free, and you feel it's not such a bad world.
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posted
If you go without alcohol or meat for a long time, too, that's a lot better than most sex when you let yourself have the first taste of chicken or cheeseburger, or even the first sniff of red wine again. For me this latter happens every Monday after my one-day "detox"* ha ha, but it's worth holding off alcohol for 48 hours in order to rediscover it again.
------------------ * not sure I'm going to be able to keep to a 1-day detox today. Maybe a 20 hour one is reasonable.
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: However, some things are even better, at the time and in their own way, than ace sex.
One that's burned into my brain despite taking place something like 13 years ago was playing properly in a band for the first time. SG5 and I had spent about 18 months as just bass and guitar jamming in living rooms, but there was an amazing moment when we started rehearsing with a drummer and a vocalist. After about 12 hours of accumalated practice, there was an incredible moment where everything clicked into place and we started sounding like a unit. That was really exhilirating, that kind of almost instant music where suddenly you sound like a real band, bouncing through a song semi-certain it's going to fall apart at any moment, but riding it through right to the end. That was amazing; potent enough that I can still clearly remember it over a decade later, and the excitement can still echo down the years even now.
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posted
"Better than sex" is one of those grim memes, along with "women are so much better at multitasking" which seems to stem from the dismal transmogrification of feminism as a political liberation movement into feminism as a catch-all lifestyle that seems to involve having to work fucking stupid hours in order to spend money on useless shit (at what meeting was that one passed, sisters?).
Maybe it goes further back than that - back to a time when, in all honesty, sex probably was a pretty grim two-pushes-and-a-pull business for most women - hence chocolate, trinkets and daytime soaps were much more on a par with half an hour of making the two-backed beast. Say about the mid-seventies - before "being a multi-faceted lover" became part of aspirational male lifestyles. At any rate, it reminds me of Shirley Conran and Ruby Wax and the others who managed to 'monetise' feminism, turning it from an ideal into a media opportunity - thence into a pretty well-established career path.
Maybe I'm way off the mark - but that's the visceral response I get to the phrase 'better than sex'. Maybe I should make more effort to ignore Cosmo and the like, but it's hard to let it slide when a top-selling mag still strikes some of those 3rd-wave poses while filling its rear third with adverts promising to make you a better person by hacking your tits into male-approved forms.
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quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Mine's that if you think there's something better you can't be doing it right.
Come on then, talk us through how you do it 'right'. I could do with a laugh. The idea that sex Boy Racer-style is literally the most incredible experience a human being can undergo in this world is sort of making me chuckle, but what will really lift my day is a breakdown of the event itself.
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quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Come on then, talk us through how you do it 'right'. I could do with a laugh.
Here's a clue from another thread.
quote:the tried and tested method of drinking heavily in public until I wake up with someone hott.
It sounds like the sex-act falls somewhere in the "lost" middle portion between getting pissed and waking up, so I'm not entirely sure how sex ranks as the ultimate experience in BR's life.
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posted
I'm quite happy to admit that the greatest emotional release I ever felt was when England won the 2003 Rugby World Cup. And that includes the birth of our children
That probably sounds a bit odd, I know, but I'd watched all the previous RWCs and England were always in with a good chance (unlike the soccer version) and always went out in the most frustrating way - to a superman Jonah Lomu or five fucking drop goals from Jannie de Beer Or by being shit at just the wrong moment.
Then we got to the final, and the last seconds of the final. I don't know if it would have felt the same if we'd just walked it. I think it had to go down to the wire like that, and when the whistle went I let out a sort of roar which I can still feel now, 4 years later. It nearly turned me inside out. Only time I've ever done that.
I suspect if England ever won the soccer World Cup again then we'd have trouble remembering what was supposed to be so good about sex.
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posted
Predictable it may be, but it's truly how I feel.
I know what Thorn's saying about playing in a band, I know how I feel when I'm dancing unselfconsciously to music I love, when I'm damming a stream, or lost in painting, driving, riding a wave, or whatever. All of those things are absolutely fucking fabulous things in their own right. But better than good sex? I honestly don't know.
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posted
Boy Racer's bragging post has led my imagination down a pretty unfortunate path. I'm picturing him sat on the edge of his bed in a string vest, socks, and no pants, finishing a cigarette, as he sways slightly with the drink. Behind him a rake thin girl, also drunk slips out of her clothes and reclines nervously on the bed. Boy Racer leans to his bedside table and after a few inebriated attempts manages to get the cigarette butt into the week-old can of coca cola next to his lamp. Maneuvering like an oil tanker he gets up off the bed and turns round to look at the shivering girl in front of him. He smiles to himself and lets out a leery grunt of approval. Then he belches into his fist. Creakily, he climbs up onto the the bed, pulls the girl's cold ankles slowly apart and then collapses between between her legs. Hoisting himself further up the bed, like a walrus on an ice floe, he reaches down past his waist to feed his cock into his partner's clammy hole... and the magic begins. Face buried in the pillow, muffling his grunts, Boy Racer slams his pelvis forward three times, before releasing his sperm with a visceral howl, like Dang watching England win the rugby world cup. Rolls off with a squelch, and reaches for his cigarettes muttering "Nothing like it. Absolutely nothing in the world like it..." as his partner lies next to him shivering and queasy.
posted
I thought I knew Boy Racer, kind of... I thought I had a sense of the guy! But he seems to have turned into a cross between Patrick Swayze in Point Break and Just William, spending his days surfing, losing himself in painting or damming streams when he isn't working out or zen painting. I expect him to list his other hobbies as catchin insects, eatin sherbert dibdabs, weight training, just chilling on the white sands, sculpting beautiful ladies from life models and goin to the pitchers.
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quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Boy Racer's bragging post.
I’d like to make it clear that I wasn’t bragging. I don’t make any claims to any special abilities in that area. I just really like sex. I was trying to spare people by not going into greater detail.
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: a cross between Patrick Swayze in Point Break and Just William
I’m absolutely crap at surfing, but even a few seconds on top of a wave really is incredible.
I was trying to think of the stuff that to me is closest to being up there with good sex. For me those are things which I enjoy a lot in which I can lose myself. They’re not things I necessarily do a lot now. Though this thread has made me want to do them again/more.
Lol@”make love”.
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scrawny
One Mojito, two Gin and Tonics, Three Bacardi Lime Sodas, and a couple of pints of Stella please.
posted
OK, Ben, I admit the 'better than sex' meme is horribly clichéd - but I think it's this sense of cliché that makes for an easy response. Everyone know what wonderstarr meant - what are the things in your life that make you grin from ear to ear/make your heart beat faster/make you almost sick with enjoyment, alla Dang's post?
'What's happening in your life that's awesome' isn't as much of a thread starter, I guess.
And don't get me started on women's magazines. Come the revolution, they will be jostling for space with the News of the World against my personal wall of justice.
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Or by being shit at just the wrong moment.
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