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They had one on the telly the other day with a duck and an anaconda. The duck was staked to the ground. I mean, what's the point of endless movies saying, "No animals were harmed in the making of this picture" if the next minute a load of scientists are going to stake out a duck and film it being horrifically mutilated by a psychopathic anaconda? The movie studios must be going, "Well fuck it then. I don't know why we ever bothered being nice to the stupid animals when scientists say it's absolutely fine to tear them to shreds on prime time tv. Get me three crates of baby seals. I want them on my desk by 5pm. And a barrel of scorpions."
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: I mean, what's the point of endless movies saying, "No animals were harmed in the making of this picture" if the next minute a load of scientists are going to stake out a duck and film it being horrifically mutilated by a psychopathic anaconda?
Animals. Some of them (notably salamanders and cats) are great. Others are just stupid furry/feathered wankers.
Ever wanted to punch a puffin, beat up a bulldog or kick a cockatoo to death? Now's your chance to take it all out on the animal kingdom....
Which animal would you most like to harm, and why?
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I'm with ben. I could only watch the very beginning of chickclip as I could feel hysterical crying welling within. When the snake almost let it go, and it didn't try to get out... *punches self in heartPosts: 4537
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gnnnaooww. i couldnt get to the end of that clip. having read nathan's post it felt a bit like watching united 93 at the cinema. oh, the crunching inevitability of it all.
on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, i was in my kitchen yesterday doing the washing up when a very shabby double decker bus full of five year old children pulled up directly outside. being on the first floor my eyeline was level with the top deck. as i stood idly drying a plate with my favourite historical somerset teatowel and humming to myself one of the small children noticed me and started waving and grinning. i waved back, as you do. i imagine he must have shouted something like 'look! in that flat! theres a lady!' as a chain reaction was set off and thirty seconds later every child on the top deck of that bus was waving at me and grinning gappily. imagine how life- affirming being waved at by one five- year old is- now times that by about 26. seriously, i was so uplifted by the simple beauty of the experience i nearly fell down. but then i started wondering whether they would have all waved at me if i was not in fact a lady in a flowery top but a young man, or rather, whether they would all have been permitted to wave at me by the adults supervising them, and that made me think about paedophilia, and then i wasnt very uplifted any more.
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I just forwarded that link to my girlfriend, who's a staunch 'animal lover'. It probably didn't help that she was having her lunch at the time, but her reply was far from polite. Silly woman. No oral for her for a while.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I wanted to clatter my dog one, eartlier because she wouldn't get out of the river. I was stood there shouting 'come one' in a silly animal talking to voice and she just stood there, giving me the big wet eyes. Then she'd caper off for a bit, then come back, stand six feet away from me in two foot of water and give me the big wet eyes again. Other dog walkers were going past with their perfectly well behaved dogs and looking at me with pity and contempt. Whilst the dog stood there in the river giving it the big dog-wuh. Stupid dog.
I have only fainted in public once. At a gig. I was hoisted off by a burly roadie. Mortifying.
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When TheGree and I drove across the States, at some point just outside Denver we overtook a yellow school bus full of teenage kids. I was quite jazzed at the whole yellow school bus thing, as I think they're lovely pieces of design, and this one was full of real kids, who reaffirmed my idea that, essentially, everyone's the same the world over, when they all turned towards me, saw me grinning and enthusiastically flipped me the bird. All of them.
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i just nearly posted the most extraoridnarily tasteless thing i have ever posted on here. it was so offensive. im not going to now. but wow. it was pretty awesome.
-------------------- evil is boring: cheerful power Posts: 1655
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quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, i was in my kitchen yesterday doing the washing up when a very shabby double decker bus full of five year old children pulled up directly outside. being on the first floor my eyeline was level with the top deck. as i stood idly drying a plate with my favourite historical somerset teatowel and humming to myself one of the small children noticed me and started waving and grinning.
This used to happen to me very often but it was in Streatham. And they weren't kids, they were windows licking chavs mostly. I don't miss Streatham.
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Which animal would you most like to harm, and why?
That's a tricky one really. Wasps, jellyfish and pigeons immediately spring to mind. I've already dealt with wasps [preferred method of execution: setting them on fire using a cigarette lighter] and pigeons [blowing one to pieces using brother's rat shotgun]. So, that leaves jellyfish. They'd be pretty tricky to execute underwater, so they'd have to be stabbed with a pointy stick when they inadvertently drift on to the beach. Apart from these, I wouldn't like to harm any other animals. I once thought that kicking a penguin up the arse might be fun, but I like them now.
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Wasps aren't animals - they are the living embodiment of bitterness...
ETA I dreamt that I was a pirate looking after penguin eggs last night - but then the queen and I tried to escape nuclear holocaust by jumping on the ship from the philidelphia experiment.
[ 17.05.2007, 08:34: Message edited by: Benny the Ball ]
-------------------- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down Posts: 2739
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I took the Victoria train to Sutton this morning, which is a bit of a shame, because sailing past Putney Bridge and watching what I thought was VP falling over sick would have really kickstarted the day.
Pinkey, will always finish off any day with absolute joy, however.
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I got told off today because I took a mouse out of the cupboard to give to someone and they didn't need it. While it was on my desk someone did a mouse count and we got an email declaring how we need to take mnore care. I simply put the mouse back in the cupboard and I got hauled aside for that. Also, for taking on too much work. Which is kind of hard when the policy is 'pick up the phone on first ring' If you don't pick up the phone, a manager will look at you until you do. Then have a go at you for being too busy.
Another manager screwed up his face and said 'rambunctious? why didn't you say noisy?' but if I have to explain why the word rambunctious is hilarious, then I'd be wasting precious life force.
here is a nice clip of a sex- starved tortoise harrassing cats. my favourite bit is the little sequence of him steaming towards the camera with that look in his tiny beady eyes. that look so familiar to anyone who has ever been in a meatmarket nightclub fifteen minutes before lights- up.
-------------------- evil is boring: cheerful power Posts: 1655
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id like to make it clear that i didnt just jank that clip straight from the front page of youtube. i got it from a friend's blog. theyobviously just janked that clip straight from the front page of youtube.
i am so humiliated. *kicks self in cuntbone, marvels at own dexterity*
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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