posted
I was just sitting in the canteen reading a book which had a chapter about how humans may have evolved and about brain size and how much the brain consumes to keep going etc etc. Just then a lady in high heels clicked past my table and, naturally, my brain made me glance up and then my brain got to thinking, no doubt consuming a lot of glucose while it did so...
Porn is the most popular thing ever, right? It's what the web was invented for, it's what people like to relax with after a busy day at work, before a busy day at work and, if at all possible, during a busy day at work. You'd never have any trouble getting people to watch porn. Especially teenagers, as they don't even have the busy day at work aspect to worry about.
So, a bit like that site that had newsreaders stripping off as they read the news, what could possibly be more obvious than having teachers strip off as they teach you things? Even better, have a couple explaining the biology of the human body while they shag each other.
Teachers are always stuck for a bit of cash, so they'd be up for it, I'm sure. Other professions that are poorly paid include nursing and firefighting - coincidentally the most porn friendly of all the professions. What could get the fire safety message across more clearly than a fireman going round a house pointing out possible hazards whilst simultaneously removing his uniform, and perhaps shagging the owner of the house at the end.
Similar for police burglary prevention officers, and nurses explaining basic first aid.
This has been done before of course. In the 70s we were taught about germs by being shown a film of a naked woman in a shower with cartoon germs sliding down her breasts and flying off the end of the nipples. I think we were anyway, I might have dreamt that one.
Regardless, this is a sadly untapped educational resource. It's all very well droning on about grammar schools and city academies, but we're talking about the future here, we're talking about low attention spans and a need to educate people later on in life.
Plumbers and window cleaners could probably sign up too now I think about it.
What does everyone think then? What would you like to see included in a masturbucation course?
(And Ringo, give it a couple of pages before you point out why this would never work will you?)
Posts: 8467
| IP: Logged
posted
There's not much point reporting me to the police. Half of them are signed up to the project, including three Chief Superintendents who have got some great ideas.
Posts: 8467
| IP: Logged
posted
At my school there weren't enough hott teachers to make this idea work. The vast majority were old and smelt of whisky/gin/urine. I can't imagine how eye-gougingly unpleasant it would've been to have seen them in the buff.
posted
At least half of your problem is going to be that children of the net age - the descendants of The Goatse Generation, as ben called us - are going to be completely numb to the erotic possibilities of simple nudity due to their over-exposure to hardcore imagery. Back in the Victorian age, the glimpse of a woman's wrist or ankle would be enough to grab men's attention. Nowadays you'd have to have a glitzy stage show featuring two nine year old girls inserting a donkey's severed head into their own mother's vagina, before you got even a flicker of response. The level of spectacle necessary to grab these kids' attention would eclipse any lesson you were hoping to deliver.
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Nowadays you'd have to have a glitzy stage show featuring two nine year old girls inserting a donkey's severed head into their own mother's vagina
Have you been watching The Aristocrats per chance?
posted
that shit was on lolitafarmyard.ru years ago.
These days it's all about fully clothed women walking down carpeted stairs, or near-retirement men trying to start their cars on winter mornings. That's where the real sickos are.
Posts: 4376
| IP: Logged
posted
I saw a lesbian "footing" video once, which involved one of the girls inserting her entire foot into the other girl's vaginer. I suppose it was quite impressive in a way. I was surprised to find that the footage climaxed with a dramatic zoom out, revealing that the leg had now been inserted, almost up to the knee.
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: I saw a lesbian "footing" video once, which involved one of the girls inserting her entire foot into the other girl's vaginer. I suppose it was quite impressive in a way. I was surprised to find that the footage climaxed with a dramatic zoom out, revealing that the leg had now been inserted, almost up to the knee.
Sadly, even that didn't get me off.
See, that sounds like a performance art piece about our innate desire to retreat to the safety of the womb and how it's exploited by gaudy entertainment to rob us of our money. I know I've said before about the thin line between heartbreaking art and hardcore pornography but look <---- here is me repeating the point.
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
| IP: Logged
It was a while ago, so it's probably been deleted from my pron folder to make space for more pron. You could try PureTnA, perhaps?
Posts: 14012
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: See, that sounds like a performance art piece about our innate desire to retreat to the safety of the womb and how it's exploited by gaudy entertainment to rob us of our money.
If that's the case, it's a shame that she failed so dismally. She only managed to squeeze half a leg in before the other lady did a bit of a wee-wee, made a noise like the call of an angry hippo and then decided to stop. I suppose the director was aiming to emphasise the futility of the pursuit.
Posts: 14012
| IP: Logged
posted
no he gets his whole head up, and it looks like it's fake or something but you can see her on another website and she's got a massive minge!!!
Posts: 4376
| IP: Logged
posted
What sort of diameter do you reckon? How would you establish the circumference? Come on, come on, we haven't got all day.
Posts: 8467
| IP: Logged
posted
do a google for "masive minge" and "dwarf" or something, but be careful not to click on the picture of yr mum and dad!!! lololol only kiding mate!!!!
Posts: 4376
| IP: Logged
posted
One of the most disappointing 'insertions' I've ever seen is one the boasted "Girl inserts tennis raquet". I clicked on that and... well... obviously it was just the handle. How unamazing is that? "Look! This orifice normally houses the human penis and into it I can fit... something a bit smaller than the human penis."
A poor effort.
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by dang65: What sort of diameter do you reckon? How would you establish the circumference? Come on, come on, we haven't got all day.
You'd need a line-up of gents with different sized heads in ascending order. Starting with the smallest, insertion of the heads would be attempted (one at a time, lol ! ! 1). When the limit is reached, the largest head inserted could be measured by means of a tape measure or similar device.
posted
I saw the one where Belladona sticks a baseball bat (big end) first up her gaping arsehole. I guess Benway would know more about that than me though.
Posts: 1641
| IP: Logged
posted
I haven't read the thread in its entirety yet but I would suggest a 'means tested' system of nekkid teachers cuz, like... I'm a certified teacher and I can assure you, not many children/adults would learn much but mockery if I stood before them au natural.
-------------------- Evil isn't what you've done, it's feeling bad about it afterwards... Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. Posts: 3793
| IP: Logged
posted
You could easily work out minge capacity by getting a full bath with a tray underneath and dipping the bloke's head in the bath then measuring how much water it displaced.
Posts: 8467
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by Tilde: I saw the one where Belladona sticks a baseball bat (big end) first up her gaping arsehole. I guess Benway would know more about that than me though.
yeh I've seen that one she does it with sandra romaine on "evil pink 2". that's the one with the infamous milking machine. Anyway bella looks pretty ordinary and rough these days.
Posts: 4376
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by dang65: You could easily work out minge capacity by getting a full bath with a tray underneath and dipping the bloke's head in the bath then measuring how much water it displaced.
Would women boast of their 'capacity' in singles ads, as men often seem to do of their penile length?
Posts: 14012
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Would women boast of their 'capacity' in singles ads, as men often seem to do of their penile length?
I think once people had seen the video demonstrating how to calculate it then we would certainly see an increase in mathematical data of this kind, yes. The only reason we don't at the moment is because such a service has not been hitherto available.