posted
In a post-apocalyptic situation where you've lost everything, everything has gone to shit, and there's no fucking chance of hope, safety, or escape from a miserable and painful death, surely, if you had been pushed beyond the limits of your social identity, you'd carve out a new, feral existance that probably would involve rape, cannibalism, and murder.
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posted
I'm just filling in for thorn. I wouldn't really rape anybody. I'd make a fake gun out of cardboard, lock my door, and starve to death, clutching my impotent totem.
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posted
probably i'd head to b&q. there'd be gardening tools to use as weapons and seeds and stuff to grow food with, plus it'd be pretty secure. i think part of me would want to surrender to the zombies, to experience being them. it'd be a release of sorts. i haven't made a very good human being, so perhaps it would be a second chance?
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posted
sorry, thas slugs im thinking of, isnt it. id probably give myself up to my ineviatable fate if i was faced with a zombie. that, or pick it up by its shell and throw it violently against the wall.
-------------------- evil is boring: cheerful power Posts: 1655
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posted
You need portable, high energy food and drink, so a jeep filled with supplies is a must.
It'd be hard to get hold of a shotgun (unless you ventured onto a farm, which would probably lead to you getting shot by an over-territorial farmer protecting his brood) so your best bet would be to head for the coast and break into a sailing club/coastguard station and make off with a flare gun and as many flares as you could carry. A zombie shot in the face with a flare (like Billy Zane at the end of Dead Calm) isn't going to be hurting anyone.
There would probably be quite a lot of other useful stuff at a coastguard station (first aid, cutting equipment, blankets, a megaphone, navigational equipment) so that makes it a definite must-visit - probably a lot easier to loot than an army base too.
I'm sceptical about the benefits of taking to the water - did I dream it or isn't it the case that zombies can both swim and wade along the ocean floor? If either of these is true, I'd say a yacht would be more trouble than it was worth.
posted
If you could get a small reliable team together the way to go would be to barricade yourself into a high-rise office block. You'd need to clear it, floor by floor. You've got a place that's easily defendable, multiple escape points, probably full of supplies (canteen, vending machines, water coolers, fire extinguishers... staplers) and likely to be surrounded by lootable premises. You can inhabit a floor until it's foul then move up a floor, excellent viewpoint from the top, potential for helipcopter evacuation...
posted
lots of galss windows though. you'd board them up but the zombies will get through eventually. and escape points = entry points too
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posted
a tie? well i call massive bullshit on that. there has to be a winner. what i would personally like to see in that context, zombie v shark, is the zombie punching the shark in the face like they tell you to in event of shark attack. obviously it would be great to watch anyone punch a shark in the face, but watching a zombie do it would be fucking NUTRAsweet.
-------------------- evil is boring: cheerful power Posts: 1655
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posted
they kind of wrestle; the zombie gets the shark in a half nelson if you can imagine such a thing underwater, bites it, and then the shark gets the zombies arm and tears the hand off, releasing the green zombie blood into the water. I guess that the shark then fucks off because it's not interested in the zombie flesh. The zombie does kind of punch the shark in the face. It's a good film. There's a legendary "large wooden splinter slowly pierces eyeball" scene. Tisa Farrow's eyeball in fact.
[ 05.06.2007, 10:32: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
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posted
i'd be fucked. i don't have a helpful hound willing to throw itself at the throat of oncoming zombie hordes. i have no weaponry. no ninja skillz and no outdoor skillz.
me and my fucking biotechnology are screwed without a functioning system. bollocks.
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posted
I'm glad other people are obviously thinking about this stuff. I'm luck - I have a couple of doors to get through, and one of them is very easily well baricaded - it'd be the getting in and out to get supplies that might hurt. Savacentre is down the road - leading to Dawn esque comfort, and there is a weapons and fishing shop in wimbledon that'd be handy. My parents' place would be better suited - so would head there and begin a clean up operation of the surrounding area, building up survivor/soldiers and expanding the perimeter to house those that came in safely. Like someone else said, hit the hardware and gardening shops for some light hand held weapons, and lots of tinned goods. Plus I'd cancel my produce box, as those things won't last long at all. Ho ho. Then I'd find a dummies guide to flying a helicopter, and be set.
-------------------- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down Posts: 2739
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posted
im not going to use google for this question, i dont see the point. im going to ask it here.
re: zombie films. are there any films where-
a) zombies attack a huge group of hells angels who are having a campfire in the mountains, some variety of cross- chapter annual hogroast with naked underage teens being molested beneath rotting logs and big fat men in leather waistcoats swig from bottles of jd and get into knifefights whilst their slightly- run- to fat wives in denim shorts watch with no great interest, and all thats going on and suddenly RAAAAHHH zombies and all the bikers try to fight off the zombies with flickknives and nunchakas and stuff before they totally shit it and run away?
b) there are zombies that dont eat peole, they sexually assaukt them insteaad, and then eat them?
-------------------- evil is boring: cheerful power Posts: 1655
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Doc D are you crazy - if zombies attack you get to experiment on their dismembered but still-wriggling bodies, and you can walk around the base in your bloody lab coat as though you fucking own the place because the military are counting on you to find an explanation or cure for this crazy shit.
Black Mask excuse me if I don't join you in your plate-glass death trap. Consider how many medieval castles were built like modern tower blocks. None? Exactly.
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quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: b) there are zombies that dont eat peole, they sexually assaukt them insteaad, and then eat them?
DM you, and indeed everyone who has posted on this thread, need to read Cormac Mccarthy's The Road. Not zombies, exactly, more terrifying post-nuclear, rapey cannibals.
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quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: they kind of wrestle; the zombie gets the shark in a half nelson if you can imagine such a thing underwater, bites it, and then the shark gets the zombies arm and tears the hand off, releasing the green zombie blood into the water. I guess that the shark then fucks off because it's not interested in the zombie flesh. The zombie does kind of punch the shark in the face. It's a good film. There's a legendary "large wooden splinter slowly pierces eyeball" scene. Tisa Farrow's eyeball in fact.
There are so many awesome moments in that movie. It’s obviously nothing compared to Zombie Flesh Eaters 2 which must be in the running for most laughable film ever made. But there are some real howlers in ZFE. Like the peasant gardener, who asks, on seeing a flare coming from the beach “What is it, the Devil?” like one might ask of a knocking sound “what’s that, the door?”. Or the general ludicrousness of the final standoff, where the survivors decide their best form of defence is to shut themselves in a wooden barn, armed only with a shotgun (which nobody can fire straight) and molatov coctails. And the bit right before the shark v zombie bit, where the woman who is inexplicably scuba diving wearing only seethrough panties, fends off the zombie by waving coral in its face. Or the zombified Conquistadors, who seem to be buried under about 3mm of loose soil. The film is so stupid in so many ways, but also brilliant in so many others.
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quote:Originally posted by ben: Consider how many medieval castles were built like modern tower blocks. None? Exactly.
Who's calling the shots, nowadays? Hmmm? Medieval barons or the inhabitants of big shiny glass towers? Exactly. All that glass is shatterproof, you dolts. And, actually, the key differences between a tower block and a castle are, what... They're high, they're strong, they have an inside for you and an outside for them. I'm sure any half-decent survivor could rustle you up some arrow-slits or a misericord, if you were really hankering.
But, you know, whatever... Don't come crying to me on the 41st floor when the zeds are chewing your arse off outside the foyer.
posted
disco, b) exists - a dreadful film called "porno holocaust" (that's a safe imdb link)
I don't know about bikers and zombies though. I saw a film recently called Psychomania where there were bikers killing themselves in order to gain an invulnerable 'undead' state, but they weren't really zombies as such.
There's obviously quite a lot of biker vs zombie in Dawn of the Dead but it's not got any wives in it.
[ 05.06.2007, 10:46: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
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