posted
There were these three doctors in this hospital, a paki, a wog and a chinky, and the ambulance arrives and they wheel Bernard Manning in. The three doctors do everything they can to save the useless fat **** , because they're professionals and besides they're decent human beings, but the great hopeless sack of shit dies anyway. Good.
quote:HYS BBC I was fortunate to meet Bernard Manning when I booked him for a charity dinner. He was an absolute gent and totally profesional in every way. Two of my guests, both dark skinned, were in tears of laughter and he shook their hand afterwards and they readily shook his hand in return. A smashing man!
ian williams, nottingham, United Kingdom
oh, that's okay then - as long as the dark skinned found him funny.
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posted
Bernard Manning filled in at the last minute at my Dad's 50th birthday 'do' and, although he was simply regurgitating all the one-liners I'd heard a million times before, he did come out with something very apt about my Dad's wife: "Where did you meet her - in the fucking black-out?" which was nice. She, on the other hand, failed to see the funny side, which was even better.
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posted
That joke gets less funny the more you think about it, doesn't it? It sort of starts off funny because you're like "haha - yes because she's ugly and it would have to be dark", but that's not really... I mean presumably they didn't conduct their whole relationship in the blackout? It sounds like a punchline, which is why it seems funny, but it's that "lol... no hang on a minute..."
Like, I dunno, if we were all sat in the pub and in a good mood and a bit tipsy and I said "I'm not saying Zygote's stupid, but he probably couldn't find reverse on an Eastern Block hooker", it'd probably get a ripple of laughter, just because. There's a quote in that BBC story where he says Bernard Manning looks funny, sounds funny, and has great timing, but what he actually said could be worrying, which is pretty accurate, and probably why he can deliver a non-joke and make it sound like a joke, as long as you don't think about the content. So there you go. Bernard Manning - a comedian for people who don't like to think. Zygote found him funny.
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quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: That joke gets less funny the more you think about it, doesn't it?
Yeah, but that's the nature of rapidfire gag-telling. Taken in isolation, each gag is often pretty weak, if not shite, but keep piling them on and you end up with an audience rolling about laughing. It more effective than someone like Eddie Izzard for example who really drags out his surreal ideas until you end up thinking, "Yeah, alright mate, we've got the point."
I dunno about Manning. Not my personal choice, but it is true that he targeted anything and everything but people pick out a few specifically racist gags and repeat them over and over. It's like if Harry Enfield was only ever remembered for The Slobs, his merciless ridiculing of poor people living in council flats, and those sketches were all that were ever shown, completely ignoring his merciless ridiculing of teenagers, office twats, tory boys, nice but dim people and whatever else. Or if 'Yellow Submarine' was the only Beatles record ever played on the radio.
I think he was right to just say, "Who cares? I do what I do."
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quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: So there you go. Bernard Manning - a comedian for people who don't like to think. Zygote found him funny.
I found one comment of his funny. It was more the look of anger on her face that got me, but, you know... I laughed, yes, therefore I am a dribbling retard.
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quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I laughed, yes, therefore I am a dribbling retard.
I'm just playing dude. I didn't mean it - I just found it hard to stomach a defence of Bernard Manning. People who just go round spouting pointlessly offensive shit in an attempt to be funny make me sick.
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quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: I just found it hard to stomach a defence of Bernard Manning. People who just go round spouting pointlessly offensive shit in an attempt to be funny make me sick.
It was hardly a defence of the man - the rest of his show was utter shit, but he offended somebody that I loathe, so just thought I ought to point it out. My Dad, on the other hand, found him hilarious and when the news of Manning's demise was announced last night, was quite upset. I pretended I hadn't really heard him and carried on with my shot. My Dad also likes Chubby Brown for his sins...
ETA: But, to his credit, he hates Jim Davidson, so all is not lost.
posted
I bet it turns out he had been secretly married to a Pakistani woman for 50 years, personally sponsored an orphanage in Zimbabwe and was fluent in Mandarin having kept up a correspondence with the Professor of Comedy at Peking University since 1972.
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posted
I shan't miss him - he was definitely a "personality" of a certain time, which was over decades ago.
There's still a place for Old Skool style gags and one liners - I saw Tim Vine a while back and his quick-fire throwaway lines had everyone crying with laughter... and I don't remember a single swearword.
Like Dang said, on their own, they're a bit weak, but Vine's skill is in layering so many of them you don't have time to think about them - and it works.
posted
as bad as he was he said this about stan boardman: “the unfunniest man to come out of Liverpool since the slave traders”.
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