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» TMO Talk » Sex and Relationships » Black Dog (Page 1)

 
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Author Topic: Black Dog
Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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It's a sunny day, I'm off to the tate - I'm in the process of writing a book, something that I haven't done for ages and really enjoy, however, I also have that damned blag dog of depression hovering in the corner, scratching at the door, wanting to go out for a walk - give me some (non-replacing my pant draw) advice on how to rub that little shits nose in the mess that it's bound to make! [Frown]

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Black Mask

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Tate Modern? Go and take a long look at Boccioni's Unique Forms of Continuity in Space. That'll cheer you up. Maybe.

What's the book about?

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sweet

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Black Mask

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Print this out and read it while you're standing in the presence of Boccioni's masterpiece.

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sweet

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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It's about three different groups - one a spy who has been asigned to a little known or cared about african province, and he spends most of his time there writing short stories, another is the leader of a small south american country who discovers oil, and uses the money to buy back and replant rain forests - much to the chargrin of US, who are attempting to destabalise him - the left suspicious of his intentions, the right wanting to get their hands on the oil so are planning a coup - and the third group are part of a US army think tank who are planning a way of using alternate fuels to make the US less reliable on the middle east, while at the same time come up with a plan that will allow them to use extreme force out there (ie hydrogen them up). All three groups get mixed up somehow.

It's a comedy.

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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That sounds like an awfully complicated novel. I'm currently writing a book about a guy who cures his depression by hanging out with hot sluts, and drinking. Maybe you should try that.

[ 05.02.2007, 07:12: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]

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Black Mask

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quote:
Originally posted by Nathan Bleak:
I'm currently writing a book

Oh, really? Neither am I.

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sweet

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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Jesus Christ. That joke's like, what? 100 years old? And it was a writer who said it, which makes it even more redundant.

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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ha ha - I drank white wine for the first time (not counting fizzy stuff like prosecco and champagne) since I'd necked thunderbirds at 1.99 back in the early 90's at the weekend - it was okay, so a drank a bottle and hung out with the wife - she's not a slut, but she is hot - so I was kind of almost there. Then I woke up and realised that the last clue on the crossword was answered with drug, and so completed it - a pretty good weekend all in.

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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as anyone else written a book at all? This is the third one that I've started (I did complete the other two, for the record - a youthful sci fi romp and a pretty bad thriller about a man who finds a list of people being killed, and sees his name on it!!! the excitement!!!!) - I love doing it, to no real end really, but perhaps should actually go back and start rewriting and tidying them up once I've done them?

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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The slut part is pretty important. Hot girls who aren't sluts are more depressing, not less. Although I suppose it would be pretty depressing if your wife was a slut. Hmm. I'm starting to think this issue is more complicated than I thought. I wonder if I've trivialised depression a bit, with that plot?

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froopyscot
nibbled to death by an okapi
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I tried writing a book once. I had this idea that the story should be told in real time- so the amount of time spent reading each chapter or section would be exactly the same amount of time that would have elapsed in the story. I wrote 15, maybe 20 pages of it but never got around to continuing. I'm sure it's been in the same box since I put it aside in 1991 (or was it 1992?). Perhaps if I were to find it I should post it here so everyone could make fun of it, because I'm sure it's 90% crap.

ETA: It may not have been such crap if I had included more hott sluts. As I recall the main character drank lots of coffee and chain smoked, but there wasn't really any sex involved, which at the time was roughly autobiographical.

[ 05.02.2007, 11:01: Message edited by: froopyscot ]

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Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains.

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froopyscot
nibbled to death by an okapi
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edit, not reply. duh

[ 05.02.2007, 11:02: Message edited by: froopyscot ]

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Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains.

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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quote:
Originally posted by Benny the Ball:
perhaps should actually go back and start rewriting and tidying them up once I've done them?

If you want them to be published then that's exactly what you should do, but it won't help with the depression, believe me.

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I stopped writing and that didn't help my depression, either. Mind you, I doubt much would. Sorting my life out might help, I suppose, but that seems a bit too difficult too attempt at quarter past five on a Monday.

Tonight, though I'm going to go home and read comics and eat trifle. There's nothing very depressing about that. Perhaps you could try comics and trifle, Benny? Though I only recommend trifle that's been made by my Mum.

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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I gave all my comics to my nephews at christmas - all I have is a book about genocide in Rwanda, perhaps that'll cheer me up....

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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lol.

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Now that you've called me by name?

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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I just had a mental image of Samuelnorton reading a book about Rwandan genocide in a bid to cheer himself up. Rocking backwards and forwards laughing "Take that fuzzy-wuzzies!" I don't know why he'd be depressed. Maybe after reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and crying like a kid that's just seen Bambi for the first time.

'Interesting' Rwanda 'fact', pop punk band Rancid do a song called Rwanda, where they urge the troubled country to "be strong, like a lion". When I hear it I imagine the people of Rwanda giving the band a thumbs up and saying "Thanks Rancid!" and then getting back to - I dunno. Making clay pots or whatever they do for hobbies out there.

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I think you might need an awful lot of trifle to counteract the effect of a book about the genocide in Rwanda. A Mr Creosote level of trifle. Which would be depressing in its own way.
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MiscellaneousFiles

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Rancid should organize a charity trifle drop over Rwanda.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I don't think my mum can make that much trifle, though.
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missgolightly

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My mum would probably be up for helping, Louche.

Can anyone else's mum help Rancid/tmo's Rwanda Trifle appeal?

lol.

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ralph

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My mum would help, but she can't make trifle to my knowledge. She'd be happy to pitch in with some galumpkis.
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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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would she put mince meat in a triffle ralph? (I'm going to stop with the friend's references now)

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ralph

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Ah. Like Rachel did. Cause she's a stupid American. Ha ha. Well done.
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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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thanks - I've been watching a lot of television recently [Wink]

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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hey ralph, are you still angry and taking everything as a slur against the US?

what can turn your frown upside down?

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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ralph

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quote:
Originally posted by Benny the Ball:
hey ralph, are you still angry and taking everything as a slur against the US?

No.
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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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good

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froopyscot
nibbled to death by an okapi
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quote:
Originally posted by Benny the Ball:
good

So what do you mean by that? [Mad] [Mad] [Mad]

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Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains.

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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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quote:
Originally posted by ralph:
My mum would help, but she can't make trifle to my knowledge. She'd be happy to pitch in with some galumpkis.

What use would galumpkis be? Fucking hell ralph. Your attitude is patronising towards the people of Rwanda.

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Benny the Ball
"oh, hold me"
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it's just the kind of laise fiare attitude one comes to expect from the west when it comes to Rwanda - I expect this from Kofi Anan, but not you, ralph [Frown]

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

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dang65
it's all the rage
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My mother-in-law could provide a sort of stodgy boiled fruit pudding thing if the UN wants to give her a call. In fact, I'm pretty sure she'd be happy to pop across to Rwanda herself to tell them how it's made. The explanation only takes about an hour, and she's always happy to repeat it... over and over and over again every single time you fucking see her.
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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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Well done dang. That's the spirit. Ralph, you could learn a lot from dang's example.

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Darryn.R
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Does it have to be a dessert ?

Maybe Rwanda feels like a starter sometimes...

Like a nice prawn cocktail or some paté..

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my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!


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squeegy
'small african childe'
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quote:
Originally posted by Darryn.R:
Like a nice prawn cocktail or some paté..

I don't think I've ever had a nice prawn cocktail...

What's the secret to a nice prawn cocktail?

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supa scrub

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