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» TMO Talk » Sex and Relationships » GUESS WHAT DUDES (Page 3)

 
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Author Topic: GUESS WHAT DUDES
Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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ps I found Damon's list rather terrifying, and I've had a baby. It's not the same for everyone, just do your own thing, try to have confidence in yourself, and you'll be fine.
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Thorn Davis

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Call it Jeff. Jeff Payne. Come on. He'll wind up as a grizzled alcoholic cop who doesn't play by the book, but gets results. Jeff Payne. "You can't win this!" "Yeah? Why not?" "Because... you didn't bring your paynekillers!" *gundeath*.
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Damon's Off
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quote:
Originally posted by Astromariner:
ps I found Damon's list rather terrifying, and I've had a baby. It's not the same for everyone, just do your own thing, try to have confidence in yourself, and you'll be fine.

Did you? I was being kind. Like I said, it's all just temporary, whatever it is, whether it be the big bloody mess or the fatness and the crying or the leg cramps or whatever. It goes away, you get back to normal, honest. Just bear that in mind, even when you're trying to push the bloody thing out and you think you may die. You won't, you'll be fine and happy before you know it.

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Don't do anything stupid until I get back.

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London

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Should I have an elective c-section? I totally reckon I could talk them into it if I tried.
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ralph

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No.
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New Way Of Decay

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quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
sounds pretty bad.

It does indeed. We were ok with just posting stupid names.

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BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

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Damon's Off
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quote:
Originally posted by London:
Should I have an elective c-section? I totally reckon I could talk them into it if I tried.

Unless you've got the world's weakest pelvic floor muscles and a legitimate reason to fear that you may end up with the metaphorical bucket I'd say no. No matter what you may think, that's still an actual operation and any operation you don't really need is probably a silly idea. If you're worried about tearing, fisting helps. Apparently. I read that somewhere. It's got a fancy-schmancy name when you do it to decrease your chances of tearing, but yeah. Fisting. LOL. I mention fisting because I read an article just ten minutes ago about how fisting is actually encouraged by the Bible. And also that God approves of threesomes, but only if there's two women involved.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I come back to the boards after two years and within half an hour I'm talking about fisting. I'll just get my coat.

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Don't do anything stupid until I get back.

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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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I know someone who had a phobia of giving birth, to the extent that she managed to get an elective section for her first birth - which as you have probably gathered, isn't usually de rigeur on the NHS. So it is possible. Depends on your persuasive skills and whether you're growing an enormo-baby.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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The jury's still out on fisting. Although I didn't, and got a tear - which was my major worry, but actually it was pretty much OK. By the time I was mentally ready to have a peek down there it looked more or less the same as before a baby came out of it.

ETA: "more or less" is probably a slightly disquieting phrase, but, you know. Let's be realistic here.

[ 16.01.2008, 08:59: Message edited by: Astromariner ]

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New Way Of Decay

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quote:
Originally posted by dang65:
Mainly because it could get very messy combined with Smith as a surname.

Especially if he developed a lithp.

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New Way Of Decay

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quote:
Originally posted by Astromariner:
The jury's still out on fisting. Although I didn't, and got a tear - which was my major worry, but actually it was pretty much OK. By the time I was mentally ready to have a peek down there it looked more or less the same as before a baby came out of it.

ETA: "more or less" is probably a slightly disquieting phrase, but, you know. Let's be realistic here.

I'm imagining Astro on the table squeezing a can of spinach into her mouth and then doing that sq-a-eeezing shape popeye does and a baby popping out all pwut-ting in a comedy cartoon air-pellet-on-spitoon noise.

[ 16.01.2008, 09:14: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]

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BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

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Damon's Off
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quote:
Originally posted by Astromariner:
The jury's still out on fisting. Although I didn't, and got a tear - which was my major worry, but actually it was pretty much OK. By the time I was mentally ready to have a peek down there it looked more or less the same as before a baby came out of it.

ETA: "more or less" is probably a slightly disquieting phrase, but, you know. Let's be realistic here.

I had a tiny tear with Beckett, and ended up with 26 stitches because I had an American obstetrician who said she'd "make it look nice". She did. I got a perineal tear with Millie that had to be seen to be believed and they gave me two stitches. Two. Stingy Dutch bastards.

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Don't do anything stupid until I get back.

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froopyscot
nibbled to death by an okapi
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quote:
Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
You aren't gonna call it Seth are you?

Don't call it Seth.

Seth is a stupid name.

Seth!

Or scott, either, ugh.

Congrats London! Happy news.

Also answers the question of what everyone's been up to other than posting on the forum recently.

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Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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I found staying out all night was a good way of dealing with the 4am leg cramps.
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Cherry In Hove
Channel 39
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My brother was going to call his child Seth if it was a boy, however it turned out to be a girl so he called it Summer. I'm not sure she's going to be all that thrilled to find out how she got her name.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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quote:
Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:

I'm imagining Astro on the table squeezing a can of spinach into her mouth and then doing that sq-a-eeezing shape popeye does and a baby popping out all [/i]pwut-ting[i] in a comedy cartoon air-pellet-on-spitoon noise.

's true! Well, not really. But it wasn't as bad as I expected - though, in hindsight, sifting through thousands of first hand accounts on birthtrauma.com the night before the birth wasn't ideal mental preparation.

Damon: I'm wincing in sympathy. I just had a couple of stitches for my tear also: with no local. That's my proud birth story: having my vadge stitched up with only gas and air to sustain me. It was v. difficult not to kick the nice midwife in the face.

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Damon's Off
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Though, if I may pimp, I had Millie on a Roma Birth Wheel, I went into labour at seven in the morning, in hospital by eleven, she was out by one and I was home at three o'clock. That wheel fucking rocks.

But they do say the speed and position is probably what made me tear so bad.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
I found staying out all night was a good way of dealing with the 4am leg cramps.

I like the way I've tried to present myself there as some kind of bad-ass all-night-drinking Giveashit when in reality I was busy making marmite on toast and massaging away the cramps with my limp wrist while whispering soppy encouragement and pulling a pained attempt at an empathy face.

[ 16.01.2008, 09:27: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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Damon's Off
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
I found staying out all night was a good way of dealing with the 4am leg cramps.

I like the way I've tried to present myself there as some kind of bad-ass all-night-drinking Giveashit when in reality I was busy making marmite on toast and massaging away the cramps with my limp wrist while whispering soppy encouragement and pulling a pained empathy face.
Aw, bless.

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New Way Of Decay

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This thread is shaping up nicely.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Bad-ass all-night-drinking Giveashit

You know, like Jeff Payne.
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ralph

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quote:
Originally posted by Damon's Off:
But they do say the speed and position is probably what made me tear so bad.

Pardon me if I step over the bondaries of what another poster can ask, but did you prepare yourself for birth by using perenial massage at all? My wife gave birth to three fairly good sized babies and never needed a single stitch.
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rooster
"When You're Hungry For A Big Cock!"
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I second the banana suggestion (or you could just take Potassium supplements).

It is different for everyone, but I'd say 100% NO to having an elective C-section. They really discourage VBACs now, so you'd be making a birthing decision for future births too. Avoid induction and all that stuff as well...natural is really the way to go - though I wouldn't say no to an epidural. I fought against getting one, but in the end, was very glad I did. I had six hours of dozing off and on feeling somewhat floaty and high (but still being able to feel the baby kick) before waking up to what felt like very calmly push the baby out for half an hour.

As for stitching and tears, that's another story. I'm still having effects from mine.

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ralph

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quote:
Originally posted by rooster:
Avoid induction and all that stuff as well...natural is really the way to go

Amen sister!
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MiscellaneousFiles

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Max!
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herbs

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quote:
Originally posted by ralph:
[Amen sister!

says the man
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rooster
"When You're Hungry For A Big Cock!"
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I'm really down on OBs at the moment actually. I think they push all these things that make births convenient for them while the mother (and baby) suffer. C-sections are best for them - 20 minutes and they are home for dinner or make their tee time on the golf course. Inductions are the same thing - all about when they want to do it, but the woman's body isn't ready, so it leads to Cs that could be avoided if things were just allowed to go on their own.

I'll be trying to see this movie when it comes here:
http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/
and wish I could force my OB to see it too.

ETA: Is it the same in the UK? Do women just blindly follow what a doctor says because he/she knows best or are people questioning?

[ 16.01.2008, 09:42: Message edited by: rooster ]

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ralph

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quote:
Originally posted by herbs:
says the man

It's not my fault I can't give birth! But, as I stated, my wife has given birth three times, each and every time without an induction or any pain relief. If it had been such a horror for her the first time, do you think she would have had two more?
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London

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Yeah, we were thinking of Max. Max Payne. It'd be good. But probably not.

But Astro... it LOOKS DIFFERENT after? I never thought about that. I like how it looks now.

If you have an epidural, do you have to lie down? You can get a walking-around one, can't you?

Fisting I / this guy only managed one time after I had taken loads of codeine and smoked lots of spliffs. What's the birth equivalent of that? Or is that ok in a hospital these days.

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ralph

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quote:
Originally posted by rooster:
ETA: Is it the same in the UK? Do women just blindly follow what a doctor says because he/she knows best or are people questioning?

The c-section rate in Europe in general is much lower than that of the US (30% in some areas) so I'm going to guess that they don't.
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London

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quote:
Originally posted by rooster:

ETA: Is it the same in the UK? Do women just blindly follow what a doctor says because he/she knows best or are people questioning?

I really want to see that documentary. I watched the trailer for it online last night actually and did a big cry, but that's just because I feel like crying all the time for no reason.

I think in the UK it is not nearly as bad as the US. That being said, everyone I know who's given birth in a hospital there has ended up with an episiostomy and then an emergency c-section. I think the emergency c-section rates in the UK are quite high, though not as bad as the US. Here in Sweden they seem to be into keeping it pretty natural. Emergency c-section rate is 10%. Don't know about episiostomy rate. And they're really against inductions. I'm glad I'll be giving birth here.

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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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quote:
Originally posted by rooster:
Avoid induction and all that stuff as well...natural is really the way to go

Most women I've spoken to don't feel confident enough in their first pregnancies to go against what the health professionals are telling them, and wait and see when their baby might begin to think about putting in an appearance. For example, I went two weeks overdue. They said they wanted to induce me. I said OK then. I went home and did some reading on the internet. Unsurprisingly, the internet is full of people going "OMG don't have an INDUCTION, for fuck's sake. What are you, insane?". Nonetheless, I went in to hospital the next day, gave birth to a little girl without significant incident, and then took her home. This sort of thing happens pretty frequently really.
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MiscellaneousFiles

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quote:
Originally posted by London:
Fisting I / this guy only managed one time after I had taken loads of codeine and smoked lots of spliffs. What's the birth equivalent of that? Or is that ok in a hospital these days.

You really need to get fisted by a series of people with increasing arm thickness. Start with a skinny arm (I'm not offering here) and work your way up until you can cope with penetration from someone like this:
 -

ETA: Okay, maybe not that big or the braaaan baby might need a set of crampons to keep himself inside.

[ 16.01.2008, 09:55: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]

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London

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i wish this thread was girl-only
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Damon's Off
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quote:
Originally posted by ralph:
quote:
Originally posted by Damon's Off:
But they do say the speed and position is probably what made me tear so bad.

Pardon me if I step over the bondaries of what another poster can ask, but did you prepare yourself for birth by using perenial massage at all? My wife gave birth to three fairly good sized babies and never needed a single stitch.
Lucky her. No I did not. I couldn't reach around the bump.

Badumtish and all that.

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Don't do anything stupid until I get back.

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