17:02- discodamage offers to show 'bones' her breasts. 'bones' is in actual fact her arch nemesis 'thorn davis' in disguise. oh, the indignity. oh, the humanity.
-------------------- EXETER- movement of Jah people.
posted
If you go to the meet on friday sweet, screw your eyes up really tightly and stare at jonesy... then you'll know what I'm talking about and you'll never be able to watch Open House with a straight face again.
In fairness though, I actually thought the phoo looked better halfway through...
posted
18.30 No one has gone home to their non-internet homes or exciting lives. Everyone is still around online, posting crazyhorse shit, throwing words and pics down like Sharon Stone with her lucky casino dice, seven every time. It's not just us stay-at-home lo$ers. No.
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froopyscot groggily joins the forum having ingested his fifteenth cup of coffee that day. his first nonsensical post of the day contains no capitalization due to his hands shaking too much to hold down the 'shift' key. astoundingly, froopy's post does not kill the thread.
posted
18.52 Quite incredibly, a load of slebs all join the forum at more or less the same time. Not trolls, not namesakes, the actual famous people themselves. These include:
Eamon Holmes
Liz Tarbuck
Richard Whitely
Julio Iglesias
Tara Palmer-Canadianthingiewoman
Brad Pitt
That ginger twat from Harry Potter
That other ginger twat, Chris Evans
Prince Harry
Prince Harry starts a thread on "pot". No replies as yet.
someone posts a picture of gordontgofer getting his body and internal organs well and truly fucked until death in a bizarre combine harvester accident.
no-one seems that interested until misc and bandy point out that the image has definitely not been phooed, then there is much rejoicing.
-------------------- i shot a man in reno just to watch him die
posted
19.01 London's other sister, Ben's fiancee and Thorn's sister log on under their names and begin a chat thread while getting gradually drunk. Thread ends at 11 pages early next morning, and involves the three ladies searching through London, Thorn and Ben's contributions to the forum thus far.
stakker posts a thread asking for help for one of his trustafarian friends in a slightly creative job clearly beyond his meagre abilities whose parents own whole acres of sw3 and whose cadogan square world he inhabits, whilst simultaneously defending his working class mancunian roots on another thread where someone has attacked home counties manchester united fans.
[ 02 July 2003: Message edited by: omikin ]
-------------------- i shot a man in reno just to watch him die
scrawny
One Mojito, two Gin and Tonics, Three Bacardi Lime Sodas, and a couple of pints of Stella please.
posted
20:15
Scrawny logs on after godawful day to find out that once again, the best thread ever has raged without her.
Actually, no, this is a perfect day, isn't it? So Mart's idea is better. Everyone is still around.
Ben posts a thread about getting drunk online, followed by the phrase, "Who's with me?"
Nobody is with him, as everybody is driving round the M25 with a scrumpled-up flyer and the address of a phonebox in hertfordshire in their hands, where they will eventually arrive to find another set of instructions and a phone number written in eyeliner. The voice on the end of the phone provides directions to another phone box slightly outside Cardiff, where a fire-breathing dwarf in period costume drops cryptic clues as to the next destination, which after much frantic decoding, turns out to be another phonebox in a remote village in the outskirts of Stockholm.
20:42 Ben sinks his third lonely vodka-orange.
The phonebox in Stockholm turns out to be a bit of a let down, as the dwarf is somehow inexplicably there first to point out that he meant Stockwell, not Stockholm. The convoy moves onto Stockwell, and is directed by Sean Ryder via the means of semaphore and interpretative dance towards a dark, underground series of rat-infested tunnels snaking beneath the capital.
20:56 Ben starts an online conversation with himself. On MSN.
The tunnels seem to last forever, as Ryder's directions seem slightly suspect. However, just when the forites are beginning to lose hope, a bright light at the end of the tunnel indicates that they have found what they were looking for. Huge, intimidating men who may or may not all be Marcellus Wallace check passwords and personas on the way through a portcullis reinforced with titanium. The lights disappear, and, plunged into darkness once more, the forites panic. Mart suggests that everyone calm down, Benway starts to tell a story about how this happened in a film he saw once where all the protagonists were forced at saber-point to dance on their eyeballs until it really hurt, and Ringo cops a feel of the person in front of him, who turns out to be Thorn. But then the lights come up slowly, and they look ahead to the coming of their saviour, who is seated on a throne before them, the omnipresent dwarf to his right, Sean Ryder and a naked harpist to his left, and the forum gasps, collectively, at the wonder burning their eyes and swelling their hearts...
21:02 Ben wonders where everyone is.
21:03 ElvisMeatTM kicks off with a bang.
21:22 Phill takes to talking exactly as he spells.
21:23 Octavia pans his face in.
[ 02 July 2003: Message edited by: scrawny ]
-------------------- ...because that's the kind of guy you are.
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