posted
Well, as I recall he did a big stomp-off, boasting about how he was suicidal and how I'd "never know" whether or not he'd gone and killed himself. A clear case of a pretty weak individual trying to make someone feel truly wretched.
I called his bluff, told him to fuck off and as far as I recall he looked in the pink (or off-grey) of health in the pictures of Rick's "couples meat" some months later. In addition he'd also "got lucky" on ST/TMO, using his ultra-evident charms to ensnare Louise.
The fact that he made you feel suicidal is not so much an indication of him being fragile - more a vampiric personality who feels compelled to bring those around him down.
posted
As a side issue he was a complete 'cradle-snatcher', he was one of those bad people you read about in the papers ie meeting girls online then arranging to meet in real life. When I say girls I do mean girls and not women. A strange person, who I could have gone my whole life not meeting.
posted
I don't mean he actually made me feel like killing myself. Christ, no one could make me want to die. That's just pathetic. I meant it in the way he was so miserable that he made me miserable and I finally blocked him.
It's just not a very nice thing to say about someone, no matter how much you don't like that person. Never wish death on anyone.
posted
I think it's a perfectly reasonable thing to say about a little weasel who tried to hoax me he'd killed himself. I think that's a pretty low trick - especially given the anonymity of the forum and the fact that I wouldn't be able to verify either way what had become of him.
I don't wish death on anyone - and I certainly wouldn't try to psych out someone who seemed genuinely damaged rather than just a creepy little kiddiefucker.
I have to say I'm pleased that he's no longer posting. Then again, there are a couple of people I'm glad aren't posting anymore, and some I wish who did.
posted
Who was that other wierd bloke that posted on here for a bit that MSN'd the grrls and came over all creepy and wierd? Ben wrote a post about a dream of him coming into his room and sniffing Bailey's pants. What was his name? I never really found out what he did that was so wrong, even though he occasionally MSN'd Rose.
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posted
Isn't it funny how Ben spends most of his time being the self-righteous liberal conscience of the forum but occasionally comes out with this sort of bile about someone he's never met?
Yes, Neville was a pretty fucked up, needy sort of guy. I don't know what the root of it all was, and I suspect that he never would have comitted suicide, but he doesn't deserve this sort of shit so long after the event, especially when he's not here to defend himself.
Yes, he had a tendency to fancy teenage girls - but it wasn't about them being young and innocent or whatever, it was about them accepting him for who he was - that might have been someone whom you wouldn't like, but to suggest he was some sort of web-predator bordering on paedophile is way off the mark.
posted
If I'm the conscience of the forum, this place really is fucked.
I probably shouldn't have mentioned the whole Daveystoat thing, but once I had done Thorn seemed keen to "take me down" for it - and I wasn't going to let that slide without offering my side of the story.
Perhaps you're a lot more zen than me, Gail, but if someone cries wolf with suicide in a serious attempt to rattle me that's not something I'm inclined to be very merciful about.
quote:Originally posted by Ben: If I'm the conscience of the forum, this place really is fucked.
Like, duh?
I'm not sure if I was fully operative at the time, but y'know, this is a bit like Infinite Jones having shit on you, boy - I find threatening people over the internet just a little bit hollow?
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posted
Elvis, if you do do it, can you broadcast it online, so we can make sure you actually did it. Then the forum will have proof, you know?
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posted
Not you, shit-for-brains - what I mean is, you're making it look like he was some monster manipulator trying to do you serious psychodamage, and well, this is Neville, y'know?
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posted
Well you might have been best fucking msn buds with the guy but I wasn't - while I didn't believe him I was still rattled by the threat to kill himself and if you can't imagine what that might feel like I'm wasting my breath on the subject.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Who was that other wierd bloke that posted on here for a bit that MSN'd the grrls and came over all creepy and wierd? Ben wrote a post about a dream of him coming into his room and sniffing Bailey's pants. What was his name? I never really found out what he did that was so wrong, even though he occasionally MSN'd Rose.
Kovacs?
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quote:Originally posted by Gail: he used to tell me regularly he was gonna top himself when he was 30 - and I know it's distressing.
This seems a fair enough response to me. So I suppose the point of etiquette which was breached in this case was actually to go telling people about it?
As has probably been mentioned before, my personal solution to turning 30 was to get very, very very drunk. See below. I'm the one in the blue shirt very cleverly hiding behind the pint glass.
-------------------- Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains.
posted
But there's a world of difference between making a cry for help and crying wolf out of malice - and whatever other issues that guy had it was the latter that he did in relation to me.
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quote:Originally posted by ben: But there's a world of difference between making a cry for help and crying wolf out of malice - and whatever other issues that guy had it was the latter that he did in relation to me.
If someone's got mental health problems, you can't suddenly insist he's sane when he's talking to you. Well, you can, but it's not going to make any difference.
I'm only going by what's been written in this thread but it seems the guy was emotionally unstable. Therefore it's unfair to assume there was rational malice in what he said to you. Ben.
I'm reminded of what Lucid told us the other day - about children's undeveloped brains lacking empathy - so they thought a frightened face was angry at them.
Ben, you brain generally seems quite well developed. What happened?
Cx
-------------------- I love God! He's so deliciously evil!
posted
someones gonna have to ask this eventually- cherry, sorry, are you a proper newbie or a namechange? and i would like it noted that i ask this in order to clarify, rather than to snark.
[ 06 August 2003: Message edited by: discodamage ]
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quote:Originally posted by Gail: Ben, I can imagine what it feels like - he used to tell me regularly he was gonna top himself when he was 30 - and I know it's distressing.
But, imagine how much more distressing it is to be the person who feels a need to make that kind of threat, real or not?
I have to say I have some sympathy with ben's feelings. His reaction seems to me to be anger at having been genuinely scared shitless by the threat this bloke made.
That may not seem very sympathetic (and the vehemence with which is was expressed isn't helpful) but it is an understandably strong and human reaction. Isn't the point that ben's feelings are stronger than maybe yours, gail, whatever your empathy and concern for neville, because the bloke made ben feel that ben would be personally responsible if he did kill himself?
Ok, so its a good point that it isn't anywhere near as bad as being the bloke himself, with his need to talk like that, and ben could do with stepping back a little from it now because he wasn't really damaged by it and time ought to have given him a bit more of a sympathetic perspective than he is projecting (perhaps he [i]was[i/] that scared by the threat) - but his feelings are understandable since it had to be scary on a different level to just hearing out another's anguished calls for help. (I say 'just' but I hope you know what I mean.)
My only cavil with ben's perspective now is that whatever he felt during the heat of the emotions at the time, with cooler hindsight he should be less sure it was done out of pure malice. There is no way he can know that for sure, since a damaged person - which he admits neville probably was - with real mental or emotional problems simply wouldn't be capable of separating the damaged parts of themselves out just for one incident.
edited to remove weird italics
[ 06 August 2003: Message edited by: ziggy ]
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quote:Originally posted by Gail: Yes, he had a tendency to fancy teenage girls - but it wasn't about them being young and innocent or whatever, it was about them accepting him for who he was - that might have been someone whom you wouldn't
Brilliant! All I have to do is tell the authorities that I was just schtooping that 13 year old because she really knew me and understood the complexities of my life... Not because she was 13 or nuffink... Cool! If you lot excuse me, I'm off to Hamley's to see if I can pull!
I also have to agree with ben here... If some fucker is constantly going on about topping himself/herself, it is ONLY trying to get attention... Kind'a like Munchausen Syndrome, but not because they don't seek treatment, they only want the 'reaction'.
There is a distinct difference between what dopey was doing and someone in a true crisis. To think anything else or to defend the tactics used is to let him get the 'kicks' he was after in the first place. Emotional vampires need to be identified and called out as such because if you make excuses for them, you only enable them to continue...
-------------------- Evil isn't what you've done, it's feeling bad about it afterwards... Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
quote:Originally posted by ziggy: My only cavil with ben's perspective now is that whatever he felt during the heat of the emotions at the time, with cooler hindsight he should be less sure it was done out of pure malice. There is no way he can know that for sure, since a damaged person - which he admits neville probably was - with real mental or emotional problems simply wouldn't be capable of separating the damaged parts of themselves out just for one incident.
That's what I meant. But Ziggy put it better.
C (shamed)
-------------------- I love God! He's so deliciously evil!
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