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I know we have posters on this board who like going to Festivals. We have posters on this board who are male and we have posters on this board who are a bit skint.
If we draw a venn diagram of that I think you'll find it looks a little like this.
So, here is a fantastic website that helps every single person in that middle segment out with their predicament.
quote:Originally posted by Abby: Did they change the sperm-law a while ago so that futurebabies can find out who their donor was, and now nobody wants to donate a spunky gift of life?
Or did I make that up?
No, you didn't make that up... However, if I were a futurebabies and I found out my "dad" wanked in a cup to go to V Festival, I don't think I'd look him up.
-------------------- Evil isn't what you've done, it's feeling bad about it afterwards... Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. Posts: 3793
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Hold on, you get money for donating sperm? I never knew! I could sort my debts out in a month!
It would be all too tempting to say "Hi, I'm here to donate some sperm" and start fumbling at your flies and groping your crotch. When security immediately come to escort you out you unzip your flies and spray a min can of fake snow through the hole, point, laugh and run away.
Which, as you'll agree whilst a brilliant plan would completely ruin the chance of making any money.
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I'm not sure if you can really call it a donation though can you. I mean, what you're really doing is selling your spoff. Which is fine, really.
Where do I go to sell my jizz? Legitimately I mean.
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Also, is there a limit to how much you can sell? Realistically I could probably come up with about four or five doses a day, more if it's hot, which means I wouldn't need a real job. On the other hand, after a decade or so of handing in four mugs of spunk a day Britain will have been completely repopulated with my children, which probably isn't what anyone wants. An entire generation of gurgling kids running round, tripping over things, dropping cups of tea, being horrid to each other and all answering to me, all calling me Daddy. I'd have an army. After two decades I could stage a coup.
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No, it gets knackered. You can only do it like once a fortnight or something, to ensure that your sperm is top-notch, not all weak and gross and shit.
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Yeah I guess so. I suppose it's like when you don't change the oil in your car for ages. You end up with a thick, viscous residue in your sump.
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I thought it was me. I go away for three days and everyone's like "Yeah! Let's do ten new threads a day!" I come back, try and join in and everyone's like. "Oh. Thorn's back. May as well get on with some work."
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Well y'know, I'll happily talk to you. But I've got a PS3 and you've got an X360. What could we possibly have to talk about?
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I'd talk to you as well, but we have no common ground. You're a pompous, arrogant, intellectual bastard. I'm a down-to-earth family man.
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: What could we possibly have to talk about?
Rainbow Six Vegas 2?
You know what never gets mentioned on here? Zero Punctuation. I'd have thought that was right up TMOs street but no one ever mentions it or references it. It's even funny for people who don't like computer games.
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I'd talk to you as well, but we have no common ground. You're a pompous, arrogant, intellectual bastard. I'm a down-to-earth family man.
What kind of man uses 'intellectual' pejoratively.
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Rainbow Six Vegas 2?
I'm actually much more excited about the prospect of Battlefield: Bad Company. Not a big Rainbow six fan (although it's been years since I played one of their titles)
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quote:Originally posted by ralph: I'd talk to you as well, but we have no common ground. You're a pompous, arrogant, intellectual bastard. I'm a down-to-earth family man.
What kind of man uses 'intellectual' pejoratively.
Darn city slickers with yer fancy inty-lectrural book learnin'. Only school ah needed wus the school o' life y'all. Bester thing that ever happen' to me. That'n marryin mah sistah, y'hearrrrr? yeehaw!
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: What kind of man uses 'intellectual' pejoratively.
Thread!
I'm toying with either that, or a thread called 'How do fat people have sex?' A quite a pretty fat girl was chatting to me yesterday and I couldn't help thinking to myself "If I were in a position to have sex with her, how on earth would I even go about it?" Then I wondered how much worse the situation would be if we were both fat. I just couldn't work it out. Not to lay into big people or nothing - like I say, she was attractive - but I couldn't think how one would go about banging her.
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I suppose exceedingly fat sexual partners must rely a lot on oral... but, could you really trust a fatty to put your genitals in their mouth without them feeling the overwhelming desire to chew and swallow?
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I was going to ask the same question. I once had sex with a fat girl, at least by my definition of fat. It was tricky...
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What's a good fatness scale? The person that made me think it was bigger than, like, plump. You know how, like, if you're kissing a... a... normal person you can press your crotch against theirs? You wouldn't be able to do that with the size I'm thinking of.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: On the other hand, after a decade or so of handing in four mugs of spunk a day Britain will have been completely repopulated with my children, which probably isn't what anyone wants. An entire generation of gurgling kids running round, tripping over things, dropping cups of tea, being horrid to each other and all answering to me, all calling me Daddy. I'd have an army. After two decades I could stage a coup.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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