Piers Fucked I'd like to cut Piers Morgan's penis off with a garden strimmer and then feed the tiny morsel to a furious gorilla afflicted with Parkinson's Disease. Piers would remain awake throughout. I would ensure this by having him nailed, inverted, on a saltire of electrified razor-wire (at a low ampage, obv.) As his blood flooded down his writhing form, I'd then take the strimmer to his torso, eviscerating him in a welter of gore, finally strangling him with his own lower intestine. Until his head exploded, revealing, as suspected, nothing inside.
I'd like to stick a grappling hook up the fat one's arse and wedge it into her ribcage. The hook would be connected to a barbed steel cable. Using a high-pressure gas gun I'd shoot the free end of the cable up through the skinny one's minge, crunching though her chest cavity and up through her throat and out of her mouth. This end of the cable would then be connected to a tow-bar attached to a cherry-red 1967 Dodge GTO, with sufficient play (2000-3000 metres between Fatty and Skinny and 2000-3000 metres between Skinny and car) for the vehicle to build up a decent speed. It would be necessary for the skinny one to be anchored somehow, perhaps by placing white hot anvils on her arms and legs. On reaching the cable's length...
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I'd like to beat Ralph to the point of death with a slipper. Then allow him to recover, in a dark basement, feeding him only roadkill, before repeating the process all over again.
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This is not a murder fantasy exactly but I would like to get actress Joley Richardson and mix together a disgusting mess in a big bowl. In goes angel delight, clotted cream, chocolate mousse, blamange and extra thick yogurt. Mix it all together then grab handfuls of the disgusting mess and squelch it into her face and hair and shove it down her knickers. Posts: 1396
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I think that might be a bit extreme, Dang. I doubt she'd kill herself after a squelching like that. I know I wouldn't. I'm not saying it'd be fun, but, y'know, c'mon. A sense of perspective. Please.
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Certainly not straight afterwards, anyway. Surely you'd need time to adjust (or not adjust, I suppose) to the psychological horror (if that's the right word) of what has happened.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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That post is one of the wrongest things I have seen on TMO and given the TMO Wrongness Record included Thorn talking about auctioning Kylie's tits that's quite impressive for Harley.
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It's not even that bad, when you consider what some people live through.
Having said that, if it was something that kept happening to her, with different TMOers, every time she went out, she might start to lose it a bit. Wonder why it was always her. Whether it was her fault. Even then I think it'd be a gradual erosion. Like after the second time, after Benway's grabbed her off the street and done the exact same thing, she'd be a bit twitchy and from then she'd probably freeze up at the sight of Dang65 walking towards her with some Sainsburys bags and a mixing bowl, with a leer fixed on her face. Following that one, she'd probably go a bit dotty - chop her hair into some crazy style with a pair of seccateurs, that kind of thing. Once Ringo and Mikee pull that shit on her at the same time, she'll be shaking with fear every time she thinks about leaving the house. The ben will break down the front door while she sleeps and get mixing in her own kitchen. That would be the last straw. She'd be smashing open her Ladyshave and scrabbling for the blades after that.
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Is she a normal size person? I mean... a bowl, even a big one, probabably wond do the trick. You would need a paddling pool maybe? Even then there wouldn't be space for a Moose as well.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Harley did specify a big bowl. maybe he's got access to some sort of supersize mixing bowl. Like the ones thay have for giant cakes.
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quote:Originally posted by Abby: Is she a normal size person? I mean... a bowl, even a big one, probabably wond do the trick. You would need a paddling pool maybe? Even then there wouldn't be space for a Moose as well.
I don't think Joely goes in the bowl. I know it looks like that, but if you read it again the mixture is prepared and then applied to Joely. First you 'get' Joely, and then you start preparing that mixture. Joely's not in the bowl. She's just - I don't know - watching TV in the next room, or sitting on the bed waiting for Harlequin to come up and play the sexy cake game again.
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Surely you would prepare your mixture before you actually approached her. You'd have it ready, and then, there she is, blam, a big handful of squelchy goo in her face.
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quote:Originally posted by Louche: Harley did specify a big bowl. maybe he's got access to some sort of supersize mixing bowl. Like the ones thay have for giant cakes.
As I say, think of it like if you're preparing a cake for some guests to eat. When you've got guests coming round you prepare the cake, and then you give it to them to eat. If your husband says "I've got some family coming over, please will you make a cake", presumably you don't frown to yourself, shrug, buy an enormous mixing bowl and then grind up his mother, grandmother and sister into paste and bake it all.
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there's another one in there somewhere about how trying to pull a stunt like this would only get you taken into custody...
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
quote:Originally posted by Harlequin: This is not a murder fantasy exactly but I would like to get actress Joley Richardson and mix together a disgusting mess in a big bowl. In goes angel delight, clotted cream, chocolate mousse, blamange and extra thick yogurt. Mix it all together then grab handfuls of the disgusting mess and squelch it into her face and hair and shove it down her knickers.
Look at that smiley. He looks just like someone who's just got Joely and mixed together a disgusting mess of angel delight, clotted cream, chocolate mousse, blancmange and extra thick yogurt in a big bowl, grabbed handfuls of it and squelched it into Joely's face and hair and shoved it down Joely's knickers.
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