I've been rolling a story around in my head for ages, now. Years. And it just doesn't seem to be working. To make the story work I changed lots of things, and it ended up as a kids story. Then I started rethinking it for kids. I even made it worthy. The heroes were solving things buy wit and guile, they were being rewarded for honesty and hard work. It lacked oomph. It was shit. So, I did the obvious thing, I turned to some nine-year-olds for advice. I turned it into a project for the Masketeers, I gave them the outlines of a couple of scenes and asked them to write them up. Instead of wit, guile and honesty they came up with heavy weapons, treachery and zombies. Instead of events following a tortuous path of logic and inevitability... stuff just happened. It was great. (I think my favourite thing was the machete-gun, a machine-gun that fires machetes.)
I think I'm going to go with some of their suggestions, I think the story's moving again.
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Grinding through a second book at the moment. Goes in fits and starts, but it's moving faster than the first one. Also, in a rare development, I quite often look back over what I've written and think it's pretty good. I can't stand reading back through the first book at the moment, but this one seems OK.
I also had an idea for a stage play, although I haven't gotten anywhere with that. It's going to be kind of like Pacific Heights in the workplace, where an employee comes in and drives his boss mad, skating just the right side of being impossible to sack. I thought maybe people would enjoy watching that - some horrid manager being driven to a nervous breakdown by an employee who can't be sacked.
I was wondering abotu kids books the other day, when the front cover of The Bookseller had an add for some series called Dinosaur Cove. Just, kids go to this island and have an adventure involving dinosaurs. They're publishing six a year, which must be raking in a fair old whack for someone. Made me wonder who kids books should be aimed at. I sort of assumed it was parents, because they're the ones who usually make the purchase. But maybe they don't care what the kids read, as long as the read. Certainly there doesn't seem to be the same worries over kids reading unsuitable books as there is over games and films. Maybe a book with a machete gun would grab the kids and the parents would never really know.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I was wondering about kids books the other day, when the front cover of The Bookseller had an add for some series called Dinosaur Cove. Just, kids go to this island and have an adventure involving dinosaurs. They're publishing six a year, which must be raking in a fair old whack for someone. Made me wonder who kids books should be aimed at.
My kids bring home bags full of books from school for home reading with us and nearly every single one is complete shite. I presume they are cleverly written to include just the right number of new words or challenging sentences for the apprentice reader, but the kids can't stand them. Their reading is very good, but probably because they've been learning how to get through one of these crap books at absolute top speed to get them out the way.
Like the sound of the unsackable employee story. Only problem is, which character would we be intended to have sympathy with. Or are we meant to just end up hating them both?
There was a TV programme a while ago where people had to try and get sacked deliberately. I only saw one episode, but it might make good source material as it showed real managers reactions to extreme provocation.
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They're lowering (or raising) the bar on kids' books all the time. Some of the new kids' horror fiction is really quite gruesome and then there's all the stuff for the body-fixated wee ains. You know, all the books about bums and bogeys and bodily functions.
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Like the sound of the unsackable employee story. Only problem is, which character would we be intended to have sympathy with. Or are we meant to just end up hating them both?
Er, neither really. The employee would just be the antagonist, providing the drama. The boss would be a c**t and the pleasure would come from watching him suffer.
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I'm writing a load of stuff and never finishing anything, as usual.
I had one weird idea the other day which I'm still trying to get my own head around, let alone write for others to read.
General theme of it is that we all have memories and go over past events in our heads, right, and maybe wish we'd done something differently. Problem is, the character in this story, every time he goes back over a memory would actually change the original event.
Way too complex to get across in a story I think. Would have to be told in the first person, from the viewpoint of someone locked up in a loony bin probably. They'd have all these memories of their "first run" through life, but everyone they know would actually be living completely different lives to those in the memories because events had been changed.
BZZZZZZzzzzzzzt-ft
Yeah, I can't quite latch onto it, so good luck to any readers.
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Yeah, I think the problem is that the narrative would operate at the speed of thought, which is a bit too much to convey. Or! MAybe have him thinking over stuff and then each time people come in to visit him, they tell a comepletely different version of their lives. Actually, I reckon that could work. It'd wind up being about how the self we create comes from our perception of the things that happen to us, and that when that's completely fluid the self totally fractures into incoherence. So you could use it as a way to demonstrate that contrary to modern philosophy there must be some shred of objective truth, because without it we'd immediately disintegrate into madness. Probably easier to write in the 3rd person, though. Dang's story premises are always great.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: What about pouring scorn on other people's likely-doomed efforts? keywords: grey; dead-eyed; pointless; humiliating; self-obsession.
I haven't really got the energy any more. Plus, you know, why get passionate about something so insignificant?
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I was at a conference recently about collaborative creativity, and at one point the dude pulled out a book that had been entirely written, edited and published by the members of a forum. It made me think that it would be a nice thing to do on tmo. Chip in and self publish a book, no need to get it totally perfect or have it as one single story or anything. Just something that everybody contributes to.
Of course, the danger is there'd be one or two amazing contributions that would clearly overshadow the rest of the content. But if I mistakenly chipped in for such a scheme, I'm sure I'd be able to write less amazingly than I normally do, so people weren't left feeling humiliated.
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I think you'd need to pitch to the community. You can't just bagsy that shit. There are more talented designers than you on this forum, remember.
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I had that Machete Gun idea ages ago, I even got so far as having the first proto-type made and patented. Then, it all kicked off in Rowanda and there I was thinking "K-Ching!" Hadn't really thought it through though, far too expensive on ammo. In the end I converted it to fire flip flops and it does a pretty good trade as a Non Lethal High Insult Weapon throughout the Middle East.
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talking about spreading insult throughout the middle east - has everybody seen this Islamic version of the Habbo Hotel? Muxlim PalPosts: 3821
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I'm going to sign up with Muxlim pal, and enjoy some of the muslim lifestyle, virtually. After a marathon session of The God Channel the other night, I'm feeling all spiritual.
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quote:Originally posted by McDirts: I had that Machete Gun idea ages ago,
I don't mean to piss on Black Mask's children 's parade, but I had a similar idea decades ago, with a gun that fired chainsaws. It was in a story that was basically Shane/ Mad Max 2 etc about a group of farmers who ride elephants being terrorised by bandits who ride dinosaurs. I can't remember whether it was one of the good guys or the villain who had the chainsaw gun. Yes I do! It was the villain, but the good guy wrested it off him in the climax, rode up to the villains T-Rex and shoved his arm in its gob, firing chainsaws from his chainsaw gun down its throat.
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I've already detailed my problems with flip flops. I think that it could be because they're so horribly functional. There's something uncivilized about them. Little bits of foam that we put on our feet so they don't hurt when we walk, hung off the space between two toes. It's like something that you'd put on an animal with an injured paw, not something that a human should choose to degrade themselves with. Put some fucking shoes on. I can understand flip flops being worn when they're the only option. It's not like everybody has access to Nike Dunks. But when the choice is there, and you're in public, just pop some shoes on. Accept that you're in a social environment.
Perhaps I just a have a pre-disposition towards not wanting to see skanky feet.
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A gentleman should never, ever wear a pair of flip-flops. Leave it to the natives and the metrosexuals. A summer brogue should suffice.
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quote:Originally posted by McDirts: Is this available as an E- Book anywhere online?
Sadly no, although my mind drifts back to it when I think about writing something so completely insanely pandering to high-action cliches that it simultaneously be massively mainstream and weirdly artistic.
There were too many problems with the chainsaw gun, though. For it to be really impressive, it'd have to be quite rapid fire - like at least 20 rounds a minute. So what form would the magazine take? Who could carry that many chainsaws? (although maybe the villain has a brontosaurus in tow, laden with chainsaws acting as a mobile ammo dump). What would the barrel look like? I always pictured the chainsaws spinning through the air, end over end, and couldn't think what sort of contraption would make that happen and - I'll be honest. I didn't think any of that, but they're all questions that I get battered with everytime I try and explain the premise.
Plus without the chainsaw gun it's just a story about people who ride dinosaurs fighting people who ride elephants. Who's going to read that? Completely banal.
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