REM sang about it. For years a placard-dragging old scrote has warned us about it. And now, certainly here in America everyone is going rapture-crazeee for May 21st - Judgement Day. Yep by the time you read this you will be enjoying your penultimate day - at least if half of the lunatic fringe of religion here would have us think
If you really are unaware, there is a gentlemen called Harold Camping here in the US who runs a radio station called Family Radio - and it seems this former civil engineer turned evangelist has re-interpreted the bible using the power of Math(TM) to indicate that around 6pm the world is going to turn to utter shit as God decides to visit on the 7000th anniversary of Noah and the Flood. Earthquakes, locusts, volcanoes, Jedward and many other horrors as the day the world turns pear shaped and then after 4 months of him being here, apparently all the faithful repenters apparently will float up whilst the rest of us burn a nasty death.
Now apparently as an Atheist I am truly fucked in their eyes - the same eyes I see every morning going through the tunnel between the 7 train and the exit to my office on 8th Avenue. Yes every day, without fail they are there, thrusting the same literature into the hands of anyone gullible to accept it, often preaching about repentance and rapture and victimising anyone who dares a response. And as a believer you are still not guaranteed access apparently - all sorts of complicated vetting is in place so that even some of the most devout will end up in the hell that this here place turns to.
So for the people such as myself who dare believe in science - or the others who follow Mohammed or Buddha, the lovers of their own gender to the generally sinful - we are all destined to a shitty end.
Well of course I don't actually believe any of it but I find it both enthralling, highly entertaining and yet utterly frightening at the same time. Religion here in the US is not just close to everyones heart (us non-believers are few and far between), but part of the Government. And now matter how screwball these particular evangelists appear, many people dare not question them simply as they fear god so much that whilst they do not want to believe it, they are secretly worried it might.
But I am honestly scared for the minority of this bizarre few. You see people like Camper use dazzling maths and misenterpretation to command a following from the gullible and the lost. This rapture idea, much like I see religion in general - is a form of hope to those without a way out - and generally to the poorly educated. People living a tough life, trying hard to make ends meet and desperate for something to cling to - and along comes someone with all the answers - words like paradise, freedom suddenly pick on these poor gullible folk and they are quick to jump on the happy bus - at least the promise it will arrive.
And that is where I am scared - desperate people, maybe some not quite balanced - from despair to euphoria that everything is going to be alright Saturday evening, around 6pm. By 6.10 they might be a little perturbed that God is running late, but forgiving. By 6.30 maybe a little anxious. But a few more hours, the excuses start to come and the bus isnt there - all the hope starts to fade. If there are a few crackpots amongst this large following, whats to say a few strings might snap and one individual maybe takes it on himself to give the whole thing a kickstart - or maybe even desperation shows them a way out taking a few sinners along the way - it only takes a loose cannon or two and anything might happen
So are they taking this at all seriously outside the US ? And should I duck and cover around 7.45 Saturday night if it all doesn't go off - or should I stand as I planned Saturday night holding a plackard that simply reads 'May 22nd - it's all gonna be just as shit as it was yesterday - but that's just fine'.
posted
There was a very loud TV advert on last night concerning the EURO MILLIONS JACKPOT ROLLOVER 20 MILLION POUND DRAW THIS FRIDAY!!! and I thought that would really be so depressing if you won that and then the world ended. You'd be, like, oh for fuck's sake, you're fucking kidding. In anticipation of this, I haven't bought a EURO MILLIONS ticket this week (or any other week). It's going to be really funny if a French person wins though, and then the world ends. How much time do we get to enjoy that? Is it about ten minutes or so, or eternity? You'd really have to pace yourself with laughing if it's eternity, or it might start hurting after a while.
EDIT: There are some good questions on Quora about this. e.g.
quote:What are some good post-Rapture activities to do with a 3 year old?
My daughter isn't baptized, and believes herself to be a ninja, so I figure we're both stuck on this rock indefinitely. Assuming we survive a great many cataclysms and are left behind, how can I best occupy her time, without focusing too much on watching TV, playing with an iPad, etc.
quote:Does FEMA have any plans in place to deal with the Rapture?
Given that NORAD tracks Santa Claus every year, it's not outside the realm of possibility that some government agency has plans for the end of the world. Perhaps the IRS?
quote:What timezone is the Rapture set to start in?
quote:Who are the best Christians to follow on Twitter who expect to be raptured on May 21?
I want to witness some inadvertently live-tweeted disappointment and cognitive dissonance.
Printer-friendly view of this topic