posted
Stolen shamelessly from the Sun via Ananova.
quote:A couple from the US state of Maryland have "raised" a Cabbage Patch doll as their only son for 19 years.
Pat and Joe Posey treat the 1ft doll, christened Kevin, as a human.
He goes everywhere with them, they talk to him - and he "replies" through Joe putting on his voice.
The doll has his own 1,000 sq ft playroom at the couple's home, a red doll-sized Chevrolet Corvette car, a pet dog, a full wardrobe and a £2,000 savings fund for when he goes to college.
Joe and Pat love him so much they prefer him to their real child, an adult daughter named Vicky, says The Sun.
Pat said: "With every kid that you adopt, you promise to love them and be a good parent and take care of this child. And that's what we did with Kevin." She said the doll is "easy-going, quiet and well-behaved".
Joe says the doll's favourite hobby is fishing, and father and son go on frequent trips to a pond near their home.
The question is: What sort of voice does Joe use to distinguish Kevin from himself? What happens if he uses the wrong voice at an inappropriate moment - eg in the bedroom?
posted
do they do roleplay "ooh kevin give it all to mummy!" "hhhnnnnn ah ah ah ah hhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn" "oh yeah all over mummys tits" "suck it dry" "thats not kevin speaking is it now?"
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
No! He looks like the cricket commentator dude. You know. The one who's on that Channel 4 advert saying that his idea of perfect happiness is good food, good company and a bottle of wine. Or something. Old guy. Myopically blinking eyes.
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turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
Sorry BR, Dang's the winner here. I'm pretty sure Dustin Hoffman hasn't done any films for a while, but then again, he's undoubtedly been very busy raising his son Kevin, who I'm sure can be a handfull at times.
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quote:Originally posted by turbo: I'm pretty sure Dustin Hoffman hasn't done any films for a while.
What are you talking about - he's been in extraordinary, brilliant movies like Runaway Jury, and has Meet The Fockers coming out later this year - the essential sequel to the seminal comedy classic Meet The Parents.
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turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: [QB] All you prove Turbo is that you have poor eyesight, and little knowledge of Dustin Hoffman's recent career (in itself no bad thing).
I have 20/20 vision...well, almost. I also have extensive knowledge of Mr Hoffman's recent, erm, starring roles. Such as his wunnerful portrayal of Bernard Jaffe in "I Heart Huckabees" and who could forget his role in "Moonlight Mile"?
The last movie he ever starred in that I saw was "Wag the Dog" in 1997...
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posted
I want to marry Kevin. Then I would smother him to death and inherit all his money and be rich! RICH! Mwahahahahhahhahaha!
I would make sure I produced a suitable offspring for the grieving parents first. Perhaps a tiny tears doll. Orororor one of the ones you feed and it actually wets itself! That would shock them. Not quite so well behaved now, are we toys? Mebbe I could give birth to an evil clown doll that could grip the bars of his crib and give the grandparents the TERROR. And everyone would believe they'd gone crazymad with fear when they stabbed eachother to death through the eyeballs with the potato grater.
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posted
kevin is a very normal name for a cabbage patch kid. i had a cabbage patch kid back in 1985 and its name was something ridiculous like labielle tamigua justyne. if all cabbage patch kids had been dressed in tiny sean john sportssuits, matching visors and adidas and come with free large black lady chewing gum these names would have made sense, but as it was they just seemed to outline the vast and unmeasurable awfulness that we had blindly bought into. i never liked my cabbage patch kid after i read her birth certificate. she made me feel dirty and stupid and duped.
posted
not that i dont like it! i like looking at my tag and having a picture of bagels in my head, instead of a picture of a squatting stoat. animals tend only to squat for one purpose, innit. i would rather think of a bagel than a pooing stoat.
posted
God. If I thought I was going to produce that sort of abomination I'd be inclined to stab myself in the <cough> with an apple corer. O wait! I could pare of Kevin's cotton balls.
excellent
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posted
Dolls, ventrilloquist dummies, clowns, manequins - all work of the devil I'm afraid and as such, should be put on a huge towering bonfire and burnt.
I think that Kev's dad looks like Keith Baron [I think that's his name] who appeared in terrible early 80's sit coms. I tried googling for a picture but I can't find one of him since his hair went gray.
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