posted
I’ve got two friends. Actually I’ve got lots of friends, but here I’m just talking about 2 of them. Let’s call then Natalie and Michael. Michael is 16 and has a part time job. Natalie is a good friend of his, and is about 21. In the past, they’ve both spent a lot of time taking drugs together, but generally it’s simply been limited to them sitting smoking week together, but Michaels drug taking has changed somewhat lately, to include class As. Cocaine in particular. This has escalated to a point where Michael is spending all of his free time with a group of utter losers, sniffing as much coke as he can afford to buy, virtually every night. He looks physically thin and pale and has become quiet and short with people. Natalie is understandably very worried about him but has no idea how to help, as every time she tries to talk to him, he simply shrugs it off as a bit of fun. He’s already spending virtually every penny from his part time job on coke, and I can only see this getting worse unless someone tries to help him. He’s not a bad kid, he’s just fallen in with some really shady people.
Natalie has asked for my advice on how to get through to him, even asking if I thought she should speak to his parents. I don’t think that’s a terribly good idea, since it could potentially kill their friendship, and even accelerate the path he’s on at the moment.
So TMO, being wise in the ways of drugs and drug addiction, I ask for your help. Can Natalie actually help Michael? All I’ve been able to tell her is to get in touch with some kind of anonymous drug help line and ask for advice on how she can help him. Anyone got a better idea than that?
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posted
There are some good Ads on the left which could help and earn Darryn some money...
No that's a flippant and unhelpful answer and something serious deserves better. The thing is with the lad in question being so young, its quite imperative he does get help before he gets into anything more serious. And for that I would seriously get some proffesional advice - telling the parents is a really bad idea, but from my experience of people with a charlie habit, they are oblivious to it being a problem, no matter what you try and tell them.
My ex girlfriend did a lot of coke as a youngster, and it actually caused her to have a minor heart attack aged 21 - luckily she recovered from that, though sadly not from the drug abuse - although not a serious user, it was enough to cause serious problems between us and screw up what was a wonderful thing.
posted
crikey, cocaine is really too cheap now. when i was 16 i didnt know anyone who took cocaine. i didnt know anyone who knew anyone who took cocaine. except possibly my mum. now theyre all at it, the yout'. i weep for them.
ringo i think drug- taking and addiction unfortunately fall into that shitty collection of problems which no- one can convince the person with the problem to do anything about; they have to make the decision themselves. i think the idea of ringing a drug helpline to find out how best natalie can articulate her concerns to michael is a good one, but i think thats unfortunately the most she should expect. its hard enough to have a rational conversation with anyone about what drugs do, but a 16 year old? good luck with that.
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posted
I too know Michael, and it's a terrible predicament for both myself and Ringo to be in, as friends. He is young and impressionable, as any 16 year old is, and like Ringo mentioned, has worked his way up from the so-called soft drugs Weed and Base, even though personally i see snorting anything up your nose as completely wrong.
This comes as a bit of a shock to me, as a £500 a month addiction, for anyone, let alone a 16 year old, is awful. I've seen all this kind of thing before, and know that he needs to want help before anyone can help him. People telling him he is 'ruining his life' is only going to turn him into even more of a recluse.
posted
Well presumably when you were 16, much like myself, you didn't have a job that put over £500 in your pocket every month. That's half the trouble right there, he's got more disposeable cash than I have!
But then nobody can really 'afford' a drug habit. Especially coke. He's already reaching the point where that money's going in the space of a couple of weeks, and it's only a matter of time before he starts to look for other sources of income.
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posted
I'm not sure it's the kind of advice you want, Ringo, but short of your own suggestion (discussing the problem with a drugs helpline), I'd think your best bet (hard as it may be) is to let Michael get on with it. A 16 year-old experimenting with coke is unlikely to listen to people who aren't directly involved in his new hobby, so trying to talk to him is only going to drive a bigger wedge between you. Most people get bored of the stuff after a while and he'll probably follow suit. Whether you're all still friends when he comes out the other side is another matter.
That isn't to say every coke fiend wakes up one day - realises they haven't woken up at all but were actually awake all along - and says, "this is pretty boring: all I think and talk about is cocaine, I'm a teeth-chewing zombie who sniffs and snorts like two-times world snooker champion John Spencer and a decent erection is about as likely as a beautiful woman telling me, 'Wow, you're cute! That nose bleed really brings out the burgundy in your eyes.'"
It's possible (but I'd wager statistically unlikely) that he could have a serious problem. If so, I think you can only wait for him crash and help pick up the pieces when he does.
posted
A good friend of mine discovered the joys of coke some years back and for 3 months, at every oppurtunity would do a line, until one day, instead of the usual high, he became very cold, clammy, sweaty, very unwell and full of paranoia. It was fortunately just a bad line, but it was enough to scare the bejesus out of him and his hates the stuff now, and anyone around doing him doing it. If only there was a cutting agent which you could add that would scare him, but not harm him like above eh?
I've never tried the stuff - I've had more than enough oppurtunities (and some photos to prove it) but it just tends to turn the people around into gibbering tossers - I guess at 16 the kid maybe a little insecure about himself maybe, and the coke subsides all of that - maybe if when he is sober you could tell him what a complete twat it makes him appear to his friends, he may take heed.
posted
Sounds mean to say this but leave him to it. You can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped.
Tell him he's a twat, tell him you are worried and that's about all you can do, if the drugs got him now then you're pretty much wasting your time doing much else.
Oh and be there for him when he does decide to ask for help.
posted
The route I've taken before is to say to the person invloved something like: "I know you don't think you have a problem at the moment, but I'm concerned about you. I might be jumping the gun, but you are important to me and I'd hate to see anything happen to you. All I ask is that if you do have a problem, or you are worried about it, just talk to me and I'll help, or just listen."
I did this with a few friends who had drink/drug problems and it worked. A few months later, they called me up and spoke to me about it. It's just saying to someone if/when you need help, I'll be here for you, without being 'Mumsy' about it.
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posted
Tricky one – I can sympathise to an extent. People who chomp down on drugs are very slow to attribute any ill effects to them. I have a friend who has been on a clubbing binge recently (pills, coke, k, mushrooms & acid) and has become a bit sketchy and depressed. Not to the point of their job being at risk, but still a bit more gung-ho than I am comfortable with. Any suggestion that frequent colds or mental wobbliness might be related to this is met with very sharp rebuttals. In fact interweb communications alternate between 1) I got munted! 2) I have a cold. 3) My boss and colleagues are asshats and 4) Im depressed – why? Any responses (from others, I ain’t going there!) suggesting that work stress or weekend activities might be contributing illness/depression are met very frostily. We are currently at the “I will stop taking drugs for a bit until the anti-depressants kick in” stage. I don’t know what to think, I’m kind of veering towards - well maybe just pipe down with the drugs and see what happens eh? But to be fair that has happened a bit and there are still issues. Oy! What to do! So err…low on advice, there with the empathy. Non accusatory concern and offers of support as suggested above would be my best bet
Nb. Im not hardcore straight-edge or anything, I just think that you need to accept that there will be potential detrimental effects and be honest about these. In fact does anyone know where the BBC got these £2 pills from?
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posted
To be honest, I don't think I really expected that there would be much more advice than for her to make sure he knows she's there for him if and when he decides he needs support. The accounts of personal experiencs have been really useful though thanks.
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turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
A very close friend of ours went through a period of taking lots and lots of coke. Not just at the weekend, but anytime he felt he 'deserved' a line. Neither Turbo Man nor I do any type of drugs, but we never said anything to him, except the odd gentle comment along the lines of "I don't think you should be driving right now". We were both convinced we'd get a phone call about his funeral sometime in the near future. This went on until one day when he found himself flat on his back on the floor, unable to breathe, convinced he was having a heart attack. The whole experince went on for absolutely ages until he managed to drag himself to the phone and call an ambulance. Finally he discovered he'd just had his first panic attack. He never touched coke again. He now says he always knew we disapproved but he really appreciated the fact that we never said anything directly.
All in all, I can only second what everyone else has said about keeping your distance. He undoubtedly knows - somewhere in the far reaches of his mind - that he's doing something stupid, but he'll need to find his own turning point.
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posted
A friend of Mrs Mask's went through a long period of taking piles of cocaine. He lost loads of weight, won his old girlfriend back and got a great job out of it. Result!
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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