quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: 'more good news'? okay, hes got one toe over the smug-line right there.
Electronic mail! Love it or loathe it, you can't deny that it's put you back in touch with millions of forgotten pals, semi-acquaintances and bit-parters from the great epic of your life so far.
But how many of those perky missives (the medium, it strikes me, is inherently perky - lugubrious doesn't work in email like it does in, say, birthday cards: What? Thirty-one is it, this month / Still not dead then, you ****?) are really all that welcome?
It's easy to imagine Kovacs's heart sinking when he saw the title of the message from his more creative, more successful pal - conversely, what message headings might be expected to whet the appetite of the jaded recipient?
Welcome and unwelcome email, please - just the message heading will do... one-liners to make the heart sink or soar.
pf
Unwelcome
Week 5. Havana-Santiago - update and pix
Monday fun - Cool illusion! (Honestly you will not believe your eyes!!)
Do you remember? (Nostalgia for ppl growin up in 1990s!)
posted
Presciently I've just had an email through from MonkeySusan telling me that he and George The Robot got beaten up on Friday. If I hadn't been in Oxford, I would have been beaten up too! Ha!. Take that, Fate!
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posted
Has anyone else started getting spam about watches? I mean, viagra, cock enlargement, university degrees, ringtones... yeah, fine, delete. But why am I suddenly getting loads of "Buy this superior example of Swiss quartz expertise" and "Magnificent timepiece worn by the countess of Luxembourg"? Don't they know I've got a Timex Expedition with Indiglo backlight technology? The fools.
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"summer internship at your esteemed establishment" (Indian undergraduates who think the department will pay their airfare, visa costs and expenses so they can tidy things up in the lab for 6 weeks)
The best subject is " ", as these are usually personal ones from mates involving chatting and party arrangement.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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"reference" [= some former student wanting me to fill in umpteen forms and write some bullshit pretending I remember them]
"let's share photos" [= modern curse whereby everyone you've ever emailed sends you a request for "Bebo.com", "Ringo.com" or some such no-mates network]
see also: "hi " and "birthday calendar".
"FW: fw: FW: FW: fw: fw: re: Hotmail closeing down! forward this to ten ppl in da next 10 mins! really tru not a scam"
"FW: FW: fw: re: teh true meaning of love, read or u get bad luck" [= scrolling down past 500 addresses, recommendations and testimonials fort you would like this, omg so sad READ IT to some nonsense heartstring-twisting twaddle eg.
Mom you told me not to drive After I'd drunk, I would have stayed alive... cont for 20 stanzas]
"it's been a long time!" [ = as Thorn says, someone you lost touch with for a reason]
"please call me" [= whether work or leisure, never fucking good news]
"dear Dr Brooker" [= always someone you don't know and don't want to know]
good:
"jude hawka", "ping ma pokie", "dead lyne" [= some amusing semi-fictional report from 'Rillion' about getting drunk in a poetry cafe]
"pics of maisie mittens" [= some harmless fluff from Modge]
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" and "birthday calendar".
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