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So; another thread that might sink, might swim, but we shall see.
This'll be a 2-stage one, because if I tell you all what I'm up to before you do this bit I'll have prompted you, so, just for the moment, please indulge me.
Tell me, please, within 2 paragraphs, about something that happened or that you did over the weekend. If not, then describe something else that comes to mind.
Be descriptive.
Go!
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On Saturday, I went to an amateur Burlesque night (described, with great foresight, as "Midlands Fetish, Oh My God" by Black Mask) dressed as a Victorian and got pissed. On Sunday I went to a really good professional Burlesque night dressed as a pimp. And got pissed.
Amputation by disarticulation is a simple but effective way to remove infected limbs that has been used for thousands of years. Prior to the discovery of efficient antibiotics, disarticulation was preferred as it did not expose the bone marrow to potentially lethal infection.
Will that do?
[ 14.02.2006, 08:50: Message edited by: Doctor Agamemnon When ]
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How about I post my review of Sunday? It's not 2 paragraphs, though I'm afraid:
quote:There are rules for writing reviews - you've got to find some sense of balance. There's only one bad thing about the Candybox - the bar at the Glee Club couldn't make me a Long Island Iced Tea. Well, I struggled to find something bad to say about the show, and that's the best I could manage… A sly jibe at licensing regulations.
The Candybox exceeded my expectations, and I'm a bit of a regular on the Birmingham Burlesque scene. I've been going to Brum's original Burlesque night, the Diamond Rendezvous, since it's very early days. I reckon I know what makes a good Burlesque night out, and Candybox Burlesque ticked all the right candy-boxes.
The resident orchestra, Palookaville, were fantastic, and punctuated the acts with foot-tapping tunes as well as providing terrific music during the performances. Imelda May, the vocalist, was stunning: A powerful voice, a glamorous look, and a sultry wink... even my girlfriend was moved to utter simply "wow…" before bursting into rapturous applause.
The acts, all of which I have seen before, were up to their usual wonderful standards: Cocoa Mae entertained us with a couple of sets - all twirling brollies, shell-based exotica and buxom character. Lily Dumont, as always, put a delightful twist on traditional striptease - a reverse strip straight from the Garden of Eden. Lily always puts a lot of effort into making her show a little different and is always worth watching. Keda Breeze excitingly threatened to torch the place, and her fire-twirling danger-fest would have had me glancing to the smoke detectors (which must have been switched off for her set) if I could have torn my eyes away from her. The talented Gwendoline Lamour swirled onto the stage and wowed the crowd with a spectacular fan-dance, making me wonder where on earth she managed to find such enormous feathers. There's some sorry-looking giant ostriches wandering around with cold bums somewhere between London and Birmingham.
And last, but by no means least, the lovely Candied Heels: Four glamorous girls and their obvious candy-striped enjoyment put on a thoroughly enjoyable set and spent the interval handing out sweets and moving through the audience meeting & greeting.
The crowd at the candy-pink-draped Glee Club were a heady mix of the glamorous and the pleasantly surprised. Much of the audience had taken the "Dress to Impress" tagline to heart and had indeed dressed to impress. The remainder, I gathered, wished they had. From 50's lounge suits to 20's sequins there was something to impress wherever one looked. Its not often I can go out in my full-length white fur coat and feel underdressed.
All in all, the Candybox was a triumph, and I look forward to the next one on April 16th (Easter weekend), which has a "Pirates of Easter Island!" theme.
Oh, yes - I managed to come up with something else that's bad about Candybox: It's only once every six weeks.
Nowhere near as good a burlesque place as that! Mine was at the Concorde 2 on the Brighton seafront, and the night was put on by a certain Ape-x. Normally, these people just do techno and anything that goes with it, but this time they chose a bit of techno mixed with swing, rock and roll, and jazz, which makes for a very odd combination indeed.
I've been to themed nights before, but not seen quite so much enthusiasm for dressing up. At least 50% of the people were dressed either as 1900's sleazy businessmen or in corsets, much more enthusiastic than those Hawaiian nights that occasionally come up where 2 girls come wearing flower necklaces!
However, we'd gone for the techno more than the burlesque, so when the music didn't speed/harden up enough the pair of us buggered off to a local psy-trance night instead.
Louche: Well, I think you're a bit weird, but then, without weird everything would be boring. And familiar.
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Saturday I got a copy of the Genius Gizzer's Liquid Swords as I've heard it rated very highly by macs in the know. I've listened to it a few times now and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I've alway found the Wu-Tang Clan and their various spin-offs/bum-chums much easier to admire than like; there's something airless and inorganic about the world conjured up by their raps - even as the music consistently impresses. Anyway, i'll give it a few more spins before I make my mind up - Cold World is pretty good.
I did consider buying the Thorn-recommended 'Devin Townsend' album but the cover art made it look like prog rock (overairbrushed depiction of a lyre-shaped sigil resting against the trunk of a tree) so I steered well clear.
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Yeah Devin Townsend does have a bit of a thing for CGI-heavy artwork, and yeah it does look naff as all fuck. In fact, alot of reviews describe it as 'prog-rock influenced', although I can't confirm or deny this as I don't know what prog rock is.
I spent quite a large chunk of the weekend keeping Paragon City free of crime. I notice that as a valentine's event, City of Heroes has added hero/ villain team up missions which was quite interesting. The tragic thing is, they can only be accessed by Pocket D - a virtual nightclub where people congregate and make their little avatars dance to techno music. I found this even more depressing than actual night clubs.
I actually have a sample CD of City of Heroes if anyone here wants to give it a go. requires broadband/ absence of social life.
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Sunday night, having to get home from work, on a job that so far has gone till midnight every night, and get into the dreaded Brixton to the Academy to see the much loved Goldfrapp without falling asleep, wanting to trepan myself to alliviate coke-a-cola and chai tea headaches or being accosted by street scum. Make it home and have a quick nap, before getting up to Brixton, and into the venue nay bother. Support band are on, not really hearing them, trying not to get the fear from being in a big crowd (am I agoraphobic?) or spin out whenever I sniff cheap drugs being smoked somewhere - hate that smell, reminds me of bad times.
Goldfrapp come onto the stage with minimal pomp - Alison last, disco diva-ish. Lights and waves of sound pound out - her voice is amazing. Some couple squeeze in next to me and Mrs The Ball, and start leaning, pushing us away from our spot. I facilitate, more leaning, shift, more leaning, think fuck this, stupid idiot, lean back, they capitulate and we are back where we were. Fantastic concert, being hit by waves of bass that pass through me. Ends too quickly, rush out and home, trying to avoid street scum, crowds etc. Back to work in the morning.
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I went to meet Physic for a drink on his birthday but managed to make the journey twice after forgetting my wallet. I made up for lost time by drinking sangria like water. Finished with shouting at Felix for wasting an entire week to then tell me he hadn't mixed the backing tracks yet (approx 1am)
Misc arrived early for practice and Felix emerged from his bedroom to announce he had stayed up all night on Ketamine to finish the tracks. Suprisingly, they actually sounded pretty good and we went totally off the fucking rails in front of the wall mirrors at Survival. I don't smoke anymore, so my lungs were feeling like, not shit after the first track.
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Misc arrived early for practice and Felix emerged from his bedroom to announce he had stayed up all night on Ketamine to finish the tracks. Suprisingly, they actually sounded pretty good and we went totally off the fucking rails in front of the wall mirrors at Survival. I don't smoke anymore, so my lungs were feeling like, not shit after the first track.
How's that all going? You've mentioned tha band a few times recently. Is it picking up momentum?
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: How's that all going? You've mentioned tha band a few times recently. Is it picking up momentum?
Our first gig is lined up for early March and we're currently rehearsing for it. We've hit a few delays as Felix has been busy with his other bands (one of which has a track featured on the forthcoming EA game, *Fifa Street 2). We're looking at venues and promoters at the moment, and are planning to book more gigs shortly.
In the meantime, and prior to the launch of our spiffy new wesbite, why not browse our wide and varied range of merchandise:
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I should also inform you that our debut single, (N0THING) is well on its way through The Interloper Machine where it is being fitted with some rather wonderful B-sides.
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1. Saturday morning - I receive a letter telling me that I've been successful in obtaining an interview. This is something of a relief as I recently decided that if I were to stay at the BBC for any longer, the stress would cause me to commit journocide by flinging myself over the balcony next to my desk, landing on (and hopefully killing) at least three members of the Midlands Today team sitting below. Interview preparations begin and I drop my plans to send the children working down the mines whilst I run a sex chat line from the kitchen.
2. Sunday evening - we drive over to Coventry. A mixture of ridiculous town planning and unfamiliarity causes us to drive around the same roundabout three times. Eventually, we arrive at Warwick Arts Centre. We watch The Mighty Boosh. It is excellent. My loins throb every time I look at Julian Barratt. I manage to stop myself from storming the stage, enormous knickers in hand. I laugh more than I have laughed in ages. Afterwards, he buys me an 'Electro Girl' t-shirt as an early Valentine gift. I decide that some extra long Late Night Delight is in order.
[ 14.02.2006, 13:41: Message edited by: Sidney ]
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quote:Originally posted by Sidney: 3. Midnight on Monday - Had a cap popped in my tum while investigating a reported burglary. S'ok though. I'm wearing this- *slumps*
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Very strange that in the local TV reports (local, in that this happened about fifteen minutes drive from my house) it said that everyone was amazed that she'd been hurt at all...
After all she was shot whilst wearing a stab-proof vest...
In the groin.. A region that your common or garden vest (not to mention a stab-proof one) doesn't traditionally cover.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
In the meantime, and prior to the launch of our spiffy new wesbite, why not browse our wide and varied range of merchandise:
That looks interesting, have you actually seen the quality of the shirts - are they good?
We have a couple on order. I'll let you know when we get hold of them. My designs should be good, as they're plot printed from a vector-based source file, rather than the usual low-quality digital transfer prints (from bitmaps) which most of these companies seem to use. The only downside is that each vector image must be approved by Spreadshirt, and there is a limit on the number of designs they'll process.
You can't beat a silver flock dildo gun, imho.
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: Also: no current plans for the sperm-bullets?
The sperm bullets may eventually appear on the merchandise, but we're limited in the number of vector designs we can use, so they might have to wait until we've made a few more sales.
quote:Originally posted by Sidney: 3. Midnight on Monday - Had a cap popped in my tum while investigating a reported burglary. S'ok though. I'm wearing this- *slumps*
Uncanny!
That made me do a big laugh (or to be more precise, a big gutter of a wheeze). Unfortunately, I'm much less photogenic and I only have caps popped in my ass.
Also, alright Hoibs?
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Lol! I should fucking hope so Jonesy, or I'm off to France for a face transplant (John Woo style, where I sedate and kidnap Angelina Jolie and get a whole multi-coloured swap shop switcheroo thing going on).
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Uncanny!
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