posted
it's because I'm a tard and don't remember how to put it onto the thing that lets you bring up a photo as a page, and then put it on here, or whatever - have changed it to a link now
-------------------- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down Posts: 2740
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Look at the sea otter waving to you! Could anything BE any cuter?
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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Old Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Old Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Old Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Old Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Old Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Old Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Old woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Old Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Old Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Old Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
-------------------- May I recommend the donkey in the bus shelter with a baseball bat? Posts: 344
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posted
Ok, so Im taking part in this clincal trial at the moment, which today involved me eating a Weight Watchers Creamy chicken and mushroom pasta dish. It was fucking minging. Really, like very viscous cup’a soup. If people want to eat non-lardy food then making an integrally lardy dish (i.e. pasta and cream) into a non lardy version is not the way forward. Because it will ming. Anyway…that wasn’t the cheering bit. After I ate it I had to sit about and have a blood test every half hour for a bit. That also isn’t cheering, unless you like that sort of thing. But while sitting about we got to watch daytime TV…also not good…but…there was a documentary about a safari park, and they had a lady otter (cute!) who’s mate had died (sad!) and she was getting all bleak. So they got her a new little boy otter. When they put his box in the pen and opened the door he was all peeking out and looking nervous and she was all sniff sniff…what this then? and there was a lot of nervous twitching towards each other. Then they had a proper sniff and then went and played in the water together. Then they were sitting on a rock and she was kind of resting her tail on his back – like an otter hug! Now that was cheering!
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posted
It is just at work (Hammersmith Hospital). The deal is turn up from 8.30-9 am eat the given food stuff, stick pins in your fingers at intervals to test blood sugar for 2 hours post consumption. Recieve £25.
Probably only worth the effort if you work in the same building, but I can send you the contact details?
I have Weight Watchers lasagne tommorrow morning. Bleurk.
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nah not worth going across town for £25, but i'm working a bit at royal brompton over the next couple of months, so maybe i'll see if they have anything on. cheers, abby.
quote:Originally posted by Abby: I have Weight Watchers lasagne tommorrow morning. Bleurk.
The Tescos healthy eating ones are really nice! I like most of the reduced fat microwave meals actually. Low fat soups are just wrong though.
posted
Abby, if they have the same channel on today during your trial, will you let us know how the otters are getting on?
I fear that heartwarming story may be the best part of my day.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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Today we had a programme where junkies go cold turkey on live TV! While their charming families get interviewed by Krishan whatsit in the studio. Excellent - teenage girls watching a live feed of there mother rolling about in a clinic bed groaning and sweating. Then they got given an opiate receptor antagonist which made them all flip out even more.
This is possibly the lowest reality TV I have ever heard of.
Followed by a programme charting the rise of pro-anorexia websites and interviews with messed up young girls. The irony of talking about secretly flushing your dinner down the toilet on TV was lost apparently.
I have just spent a while looking at pictures of otters on the internet to recover.
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