Okay, just to avoid further fireworks, I'll point out that this is entirely in fun (okay, okay: partly out of desperation, then) and not intended to offend anyone. Okay? Deal!
I'll post a chunk of a story and I want someone to post more after me, someone else to post after that, etc.
Let's do it!
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there was a little prince. Called Black Mask.
But Black Mask was a very unhappy little prince. Every day he would walk along the river, kicking stones and little baby rabbits into the swift flow, thinking about his problem. Then, one day, he went to his parents, the King and Queen, and said...
-------------------- May I recommend the donkey in the bus shelter with a baseball bat? Posts: 344
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Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess called kovacs and she lived in a palace of gleaming spires. Some thought her haughty and cruel but this was not so. She had taken in a peasant girl to work in the palace, the princess recognised her as one of the poor children who worked the fields near the royal hunting grounds, princess kovacs felt a bond with this young ruffian so she brought her to court to be her handmaiden. The handmaiden's name was Roy, she was very rough and wore glasses and took cocaine. If the princess hadn't saved her she would have been condemned to a life on the rigs.
He shovelled cocaine like an illiterate dancing fighter. Gently kovacs would chide, "oh roy, you're really doing too much, come, let us read some modern theories about digital culture instead." And then Roy would snort with disgust, flecks of white whisping out onto his shirt collar. "fuck that and fuck you with your fucking poncy studying. think you're the fucking shit do you, I could have done what you do, I could have married someone like Modge...it was my fucking father" said Roy, trying to cope with an emotion he couldn't lay a finger on.
"Now there!" said kovacs, aghast and unknowing with what to do this outburst.
Roy whispered under his breath before rising to his feet, "If only, if only..."
Because they asked if they could.. So, I did.
Had they been an hour later I'd have said no as I'm currently in a filthy mood because the teenage girl next door is having a 'party' and there are hoards of fuck ugly, brain-dead puss factories in the house next door playing something that is probably supposed to be music but is in fact shit in sound form far too loudly and shouting at each other in some incomprehensible gobbledy gook which is not so far as I can figure out either Dutch or English.
It's only 9.33pm here so they can carry on doing this till 11.00pm before I can even call the police, who will probably tell me to stop being such an old fuddy duddy and "Hey, itsh just kidsh haffing a gud toime" stupid Dutch fucks.
When did I turn into my dad ??
In better news I bought a new manbag, nice supple brown leather, very tasteful.
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
Lurking in the shadows was Captain ben, leader of the Royal Stormtroopers and Princess kovacs' personal bodyguard. As Princess kovacs left the chamber ben sidled over to Roy.
'Hallo, Roy', exhaled the gruff barbarian. 'That kovacs, eh?' Roy glanced up and met the stern Captain's eye. ben smirked and continued, 'Someone... needs to teach that naughty princess a lesson. I think she's grown far too big for her boots. It's the talk of the palace...' ben grinned.
Roy smiled back unsurely at the mighty warrior, Roy gulped.
"It is to make himself feel better, he basks in the glow of peons admiration...you're better than him"
"We've known each other for too long now, I can..."
"you can, that's right, don't finish, I'll stop before you've said the t and we'll leave it there"
"But I thought you were his friend, you've always stood by him!"
"What the people say and what the man that is me does are all together different things, as you will come to learn, things have come to pass that I can no longer tolerate, the sun will eclipse us all but before that point, I must have revenge"
Princess Kovacs was twirling her plasma lance around in one hand carelessly. The royal artist looked up from his canvas and rolled his eyes for the fourth time but continued on, unfettered. Her handmaiden OJ looked on with scorn.
"You shouldn't play around with that. You'll hurt yourself" she snapped, almost as if she were wishing pain on the Princess herself.
"Jealous?" asked Kovacs with a girlish glee. "You don't have one of your own do you though?" she continued, trying to get a rise out of the short and tussle-haired servant. "Perhaps..." she continued "That you prefer less the firm hard shaft of the lance than you do to lay down with the Princess at night. Many a time I've found your hand too far into my pettycoats OJ"
At this point the servant realised she had been caught out. So she huffed and looked away knowing she could not challenge the princess any further, but that did not stop Kovacs from laying down the final words of the conversation.
"Anyway. Lances are sexy. The princess likes to get whumpy" and with that send off blew on the end of the lance cocking it towards the artist, very nearly knocking over his pallette that was afixed to the end of his thumb. He looks back with a stern brow, unhappily. The Princess continues to hold the weapon steady, like an extension of the verbal balls deep she had so easily given her serf.
[ 18.03.2006, 21:32: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]