posted
Help! Emergency! A stupid pigeon has got trapped on our front balcony and cant get off! Will it be ok to chuck a towel on its head and then carry it through to the back balcony and throw it off?
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posted
no, don't just throw it off. It might be too tired or confused to fly properly. Take it downstairs.
And (unrelated) that circular prison is indeed a pantopticon, and the original expounder of poststructuralist surveillance / behaviour theory in society was Foucault. Second link should give you an idea about how it fits in with the net.
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Ok, I shall read that stuff and then let's chat.
Laura tried to throw a towel over it but it flew at her and spazzed out. I guess we'd better try again. If I put it on the back balcony floor then i guess it can fly up when it's ready - there's no wire there.
We found a euro on the balcony and for a moment we thought we'd found a bird that shits gold; but then it did a real yellowy-grey birdpoo, and we realised that we were wrong.
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quote:Originally posted by London: real yellowy-grey birdpoo
Be carfeul with the bird poo, London. A cop on last week's episode of House died in horrible pain because he was infected with bird poo disease.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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My sister is pigeon-phobic. Really, properly. She goes utterly mental when presented with pigeons and has been known to hop from one foot the other in repulsed horror, screeching look at their feet. I don't get that. Poor pigeons. I think London pigeons are healthier than Manchester pigeons as well, based on the parlously poor evidence that the two I was feeding with cake when I was down in London last actually had all of their feet. It's rare to get a Manchester pigeon with all of its feet intact.
Erm. Hope the tea towel trick works. Aren't pigeons flying rats?. Beware Wiel's disease. I may be spreading unneccessary misinformation here.
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I tried to throw a massive grey towel on it and it just FLAPPED AT ME FLAPPED AT ME FLAPPED IN MY FACE FLEW OVER MY HEAD. I don't know what to do. WE HAVE TO MAKE IT DIE! HOW DO WE MAKE IT DIE????
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You're obviously being too pussy about the towel, rag, coat, whatever. It won't do jack if you can get it under there. It'll stop moving if you do it properly.
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What if it scratches the child then? Some pigeons are disease-ridden. There are two simple choices: Ebola/boot the fucker off.
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I'd like to see London, the town not the poster, attacked by a giant Godzilla scale Pigeon. It could stomp all over central London pecking up citizens in it's beak or drowning them in gallons of it's fetid poop or blowing them down the road with a flap of it's massive wings. I think that'd be good.
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Ok, now Lisa's had a go with the towel and it just FLAPPED. Now she's trying to construct a trap using towels and the washing basket and some bread to entice it, but it is way freaked out by now and just flapping.
I want to open the doors that lead onto the shared stairwell and just let it flap around there and be someone else's problem. Is that wrong? We pay our service charge so that people can sort this shit out, right?
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Could you entice it into the lift (assuming there in one) and quickly press the button for the ground floor before the doors shut?
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make sure you take loads of photos first and flickr them under 'pigeon'. Or you could even film it and put it on youtube. Remember: Experiences mean shit unless they are in some way etched onto the web.
[ 12.06.2006, 06:23: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Wring it's neck and make it into pie? I've never wrung anything's neck, though, so I don't actually know how difficult it would be. My dad used to wring the necks of rabbits and that looked pretty easy, but then he was a big bloke and I'm a weedy girl.
ETA: He didn't just stalk the countryside looking for innocent rabbits to murder or anything like that, he used to kill the ones the dog had caught and maimed so badly they were beyond recovery.
quote:Originally posted by London: WE HAVE TO MAKE IT DIE! HOW DO WE MAKE IT DIE????
Get some Alka Seltzer and crush them up... Mix the powder in some bread and let it eat it...
As the effervescent tablets start to bubble away, and birds are not equipped to expel gasses, it'll go POP and the offender will be dead.
If this interfers with your morals, use Resolve so there is a painkilling agent to help it on its way, pain free!
-------------------- Evil isn't what you've done, it's feeling bad about it afterwards... Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. Posts: 3793
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It has gone away leaving only poo and euros, and an empty, makeshift trap. Unfortunately we have already booked a man from the RSPCA to come take it away, so now we have to cancel him.
I'm so glad the bastard fucking pigeon has gone. Witnessing such stupidity was making my eyes cry.
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What if a stoat got trapped in a shoebox? Eh? You'd be wasting all the animal rescue services time with your pigeon that left on his own accord. One day, you'll care for stoats and you'll pay. By god you'll cry your eyes out of your head all *poppop*
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No no, that would have been greedy. I only needed enough money for my bus fare to work today and that is exactly what the pigeon bought me. I am however currently working out how to summon up a legion of £50 note carrying mice. I'll let you know how I get on.
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I couldn't get it to eat bread yesterday. I was gutted really because I'd made the most AWESOME trap and all it needed to do was to follow the trail of bread and *BAM* I would have caught mesen a lil ole pigeon for the pot.
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Try as I might, I can't get a pigeon to eat an alka-seltzer.
quote:Originally posted by sabian: Get some Alka Seltzer and crush them up... Mix the powder in some bread and let it eat it...
quote:Originally posted by Grianagh: you have to crumble it up and put it inside little balls of bread
Is it sad that the Americans know how to blow up birds? Now, if we can just get the Iraqis to eat wholesale amounts of Alka-Seltzer...
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