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» TMO Talk » The Library » The Crufts Dog Dance 2007

   
Author Topic: The Crufts Dog Dance 2007
Lickapaw#2
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That time of year has rolled around again: in March the Birmingham NEC will get the usual annual onslaught of slobber, shed hair and pee-patches.

Every year somebody volunteers to bring a dog into the performance ring and do a dance with it [Insert '2 left feet' gag]. This is almost invariably some kind of suitably upper-class swing or jazz style arrangement. (Except for last year when about 20 golden retriever owners walked around with their dogs on leads and called that a dance).

Very clever I'm sure, but personally I'm fed up of the nice, safe swing routines. So I'm calling on you to describe an alternative dance.

Poodle Thirsty

The song is Ace of Spades. A team of 6 owners, each with something big, shaggy and not-too-friendly-looking perform daredevil stunts on the famous green felt.

As part of the routine, when Lemmy shouts, I don't want to live forever the owners set the dogs alight and they roll over, putting themselves out.

[ 23.02.2007, 08:52: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]

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Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!

Ringo: Don't tell me what to do.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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I'd like to see three dogs taking it in turns with a single bitch to the theme from classic 70s childrens show Handfull of Songs. It is essential that the bitch be one of those Paris Hilton Dogs. I can't get a picture up because I can't remember the breed. Grrr! Woof.

We've got a handfull of songs to sing you.
New songs and blue songs and songs that bring you
Happiness, more or less.
Bah bah baaah.


[ 23.02.2007, 08:57: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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Something a little hip hop? Electro boogaloo, maybe? Man alive, I'd love to see a rabid chihuahua back flipping into a head spin. With no lino.

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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Lickapaw#2
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quote:
Originally posted by Sidney:
Something a little hip hop? Electro boogaloo, maybe? Man alive, I'd love to see a rabid chihuahua back flipping into a head spin. With no lino.

Breakdancing Chihuahua? Lol!

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Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!

Ringo: Don't tell me what to do.

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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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Can you dress the dogs up in special dancing outfits? That would be excellent. I'd put a load of Airedales in checked shirts and stetsons and make them line dance. I even considered the possibility of fashioning little cowboy boots out of cardboard tubes for them but I think that might end up hindering their ability to dozy doe.

I've been thinking about this a bit too much, haven't I?

[ 23.02.2007, 09:06: Message edited by: Sidney ]

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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 -

There she is.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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And here's the fella that's going to have first dibs on her.

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Lickapaw#2
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Clothes are absolutely allowed!

And Jonesy, that dog's got hands!!

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Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!

Ringo: Don't tell me what to do.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Once you've been dog handled, you never go back baby.
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New Way Of Decay

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Excellent choice of thread.

Sidney. Would your dogs look like this?

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[ 23.02.2007, 09:41: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]

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BUY A TICKET AND WATCH SOME METAL

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Abby
Slave Girl of Gor
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It is good that they indicate which is the front and back of the dogs, or who knows what could happen.


Also you are all being quite entertaining today, good stuff. I think my sniggering is starting to irritate the grumpy woman in my office. Keep it up.

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Sidney
Her Glorious Reneging Brumness
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Lol, yes they would. Only with big russety beards like the ones Airedales have. I might even make one of them wear spectacles too, so that they looked like the professor of the group.

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They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy.

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